Sibling gift in sensitive adoption situation?

[sste]

A friend made a lovely baby quilt for DS and I want to reciprocate with an extra-nice (bought, I a not crafty!) gift for her newly adopted 3 year old. I talked to her on the phone and asked her outright about gift certificates and she rec'd a store near them. I also like the superfly cape idea from another thread but not sure if at 6 y/o the older sibling is too old for that.

Anyway, the adoption was kind of sensitive with their six year old son going to counseling for a while. This child is very smart and will understand any difference in gift certificate amounts.

Would you get EACH child a gift certificate for $30 or some other division or just avoid gift certificates in this situation?

[baymom]

Yes, I think I would. If the adoption was such a sensitive topic for the 6-year old to begin with (and you were privy to that information) I think it would be a lovely gesture on your part to give them 'equal' gifts. Your friend will still appreciate the total amount you spent and will probably feel touched that you didn't want her son to feel any 'less.' I bet lots of other people will be giving the baby a gift and the son a 'token' gift so it would really make the son feel special...

[sste]

My concern is does the $30 seem too little per child? I know these indy toy stores can be pricey & I would hate for the parents to have to shell out money out of pocket for each of the little boys to get the toy he wants. Maybe I am overthinking this . . .

[Reyadawnbringer]

sste... this is a bit o/t, but is your siggy new? If not, then sorry I missed it.

Congrats! :cheerleader1:

[arivecchi]

I think $30 per child is perfectly appropiate and congrats! ;)

[KpbS]

Gift certificates might be a good way to go. The 6 yo could pick his gift and the parents might appreciate choosing something for/with the 3 yo since there is a large age gap between their first child and welcoming their second one. $30 sounds good to me.

Congratulations! I thought I read that post the other day that said, "if I have a 3rd..." and I thought, wait a minute, a 3rd? :)

[sste]

Thank you! That is indeed a signature change - - and it may explain all of my cranky posts recently and complaints of exhaustion and illness!

[Melanie]

I wonder, since her older child is having troubles and you are trying to be sensitive to them, what about sending them MORE than the baby? You could include a note to the mom, which she may/may not choose to read something about how you know that "big kid toys" cost a little more than things that a little one would need.

Just a thought...maybe could help boost the "little" one's ego.

[icunurse]

I think I would just treat it like any other situation with an older child having great difficulty adjusting to a new sibling (though a new sibling who is probably right in his face and in his stuff!). I think it is great to include the older child, as too often people forget about them when a new baby/child arrives. I would probably go out and get gifts for both of them and not pay too much attention to "equal" price (though they might compare one present vs 6, even if the costs equal the same amount). Most 6 year-olds are not going to be able to price items, but they will know if they received a gift or not. I think just a gesture for him will be greatly appreciated and if it just happens to be a cool toy, all the better! :)