s/o of Parenthood show, is this really possible-edu./disability wise? (spoiler)

[AnnieW625]

In the pilot episode of the show you find out that the eldest son's son who looks to be about 7 or 8 has behavior issues at school. He can't figure out how to cut a heart out of paper, gets frusterated and starts stuffing the papers underneath his seat. Another student then makes a comment to him about wasting paper and the boy attacks the other student and bites him. His teacher/principal wants the boy tested for disabilities. Both of the parents are shocked and it makes you think this is the first time it's been an issue. It turns out the little boy has Aspergers Syndrome. So at the end of the show you encounter the oldest son outside playing with the boy who is jumping off a slide into a puddle of water. The father of the eldest son comes out of the auditorium (another family kid has a recital) and wonders why the boy isn't inside. The eldest son tells his father it's because there are candles lit in the hallway and the little boy doesn't want to pass them. The eldest son tells the father the boy has Aspergers. The eldest son litterally found out a day or so before about the diagnosis. Now of course this is only a dramedy tv show (and tv show pilots are notorius for being full of errors, bad writing, and such) but how would a father whose litterally just found out that his child has Aspergers know already how it effects his child?

I am not familiar with Aspergers or Austim, but this whole concept just seems really far fetched to me, and wouldn't the diagnosis come at an earlier age too, like way before the second or third grade?

[Twoboos]

When the mom told the dad (boy's father) that their son has more wrong with him than his little quirks - one was fear of fire, along with always wearing a pirate outfit. These are the two I remembered.

(Of course, I was wondering why they had candles all set up in a little kid recital anyway!!!)

Our DVR only got 35mins of the show for some reason, but I saw that part.

ETA: I was also wondering why it hadn't been caught earlier - it sounded like they were in denial and just chalking it up to him being a a really quirky kid. Also OT, but I love Peter Krause since Six Feet Under, and he was killing me in that scene on the playground.

[sidmand]

I may have been reading too much into it but I was kind of assuming he already knew that his son was afraid of candles but now had a reason to go with it. I think they always knew their son had quirks and there were things he did/didn't like (like wearing the pirate outfit to school) and they adapted and picked their battles. I think this is true of many kids on the spectrum as well as kids in general though.

There were most likely flags beforehand and it probably is a bit stretched that it would take quite that long for someone to raise an issue, but particularly with a high functioning child and diagnosis of Aspergers, I don't think that's out of the realm of possibility. And, like you said, it's a TV show. DH stopped watching Friends when Monica and Chandler were matched with a baby within weeks. They do bend, fastforward, alter the truth.

[JTsMom]

:yeahthat: Jason is not on the spectrum, but he has spectrum-y behaviors, and definite "quirks", but nobody can figure him out exactly. We've done a ton of evals, therapy, tried different techniques at home, etc., but I still couldn't tell you what exactly goes on with him, and we don't have a label for it either. Everyone we see has their own opinions. There are different tests and what-not that are used to determine things, but it's not like an X-ray or a blood test that says, "Your kid has X", necessarily. With some kids, ASD, etc. is obvious. It's definitely not always though.

Some days are good, and Jason will "pass" as an average, or about average kid. When he has those days, and I'm trying to explain our difficulties to someone new to his life, they look at me like I have two heads. With time though, everyone comes to see the real him.

Jason is actually a lot like the boy from the show in some regards. DH and I both got a bit choked up watching it b/c it hit close to home. I can definitely see how the story could be realistic, b/c the boy was high-functioning, and the parents probably chalked a lot of it up to personality, and quirks that he'd outgrow. Some people (teachers, the grandparents, etc) probably attributed it to parenting style as well.

Hopefully that makes some sense. It's kind of hard to explain well and still be somewhat brief.

[sariana]

Asperger's often is diagnosed at a later age than autism, for various reasons. One is that Asperger's does not involve language delay, one of the primary symptoms of autism. So it is not as "obvious" that the child has real, diagnosable issues rather than just, as PPs have said, quirks.

Age 7 or 8 would not be unusual for a diagnosis of Asperger's. The other things do seem a bit odd, but I would chalk it up to dramatic license. (I haven't seen the show, so I'm going on what PPs have said.)

[JTsMom]

I may have been reading too much into it but I was kind of assuming he already knew that his son was afraid of candles but now had a reason to go with it. I think they always knew their son had quirks and there were things he did/didn't like (like wearing the pirate outfit to school) and they adapted and picked their battles. I think this is true of many kids on the spectrum as well as kids in general though.



This too. Plus, sometimes, even if the parents get that something like the fear of fire is a real issue for their kid, and that telling the kid to get over it isn't going to cut it, putting a label on it is helpful for other people, like the grandfather. It proved to him that it wasn't just that the kid needed to toughen up, but that it was a real, legitimate issue. It's hard to be in that father's position. Sometimes it seems as though everyone thinks that they can fix your child, or that they'd do it better.

[egoldber]

but particularly with a high functioning child and diagnosis of Aspergers, I don't think that's out of the realm of possibility.

:yeahthat:

There are a lot of kids who are quirky in some way or another. It can be very hard to say with a young child what is a diagnosable condition vs just being quirky or immature. Many kids grow out of these quirks, but some do not. So I do not think it is that uncommon for a high functioning child to not be diagnosed until age 7-8.

There are also many kids who do not have a diagnosis at all, but are yet not neurotypical in their development. They may have aspects of Asperger's (or other forms of autism spectrum disorders), anxiety, ADHD but may be "diagnosed" with none of these. It's hard to navigate as a parent.


even if the parents get that something like the fear of fire is a real issue for their kid, and that telling the kid to get over it isn't going to cut it, putting a label on it is helpful for other people, like the grandfather. It proved to him that it wasn't just that the kid needed to toughen up, but that it was a real, legitimate issue. It's hard to be in that father's position. Sometimes it seems as though everyone thinks that they can fix your child, or that they'd do it better.

HUGE HUGE :yeahthat:

[vonfirmath]

And note that autism/aspergers are pretty new diagnosis. Before the labels, and even more before the widespread popularity so more people accepted the labels explained things, every child with these behaviors would be considered quirky and "it's just the way this kid is"

[TwinFoxes]

When the mom told the dad (boy's father) that their son has more wrong with him than his little quirks - one was fear of fire, along with always wearing a pirate outfit. These are the two I remembered.

(Of course, I was wondering why they had candles all set up in a little kid recital anyway!!!)


Yes, they definitely mentioned fear of fire as one of his quirks that they knew about before the diagnosis.

I thought the recital was in a church since the little girls were dressed as angels, and that would explain the candles (if it's a Catholic church especially).

I didn't like the show as much as I thought I would, but like PP said, pilots are known for rough writing etc. Especially this one since they had to replace the lead actress pretty late in the game. Also apparently they reshot some scenes after the success of "Modern Family" to make it less dark. And those were the scenes I found annoying (like the first big family dinner, I felt it was overwritten..."look we're whacky!")

[liamsmom]

And note that autism/aspergers are pretty new diagnosis. Before the labels, and even more before the widespread popularity so more people accepted the labels explained things, every child with these behaviors would be considered quirky and "it's just the way this kid is"
:yeahthat: These diagnoses are popping up more and more because they are the new label that sort of describes certain behaviors. I'm certainly not saying that Autism and Aspergers don't exist--they do--they just "might" be over-diagnosed for awhile until more is learned about them. My SIL was improperly diagnosed w/ Aspergers a couple of years ago, at the age of 15 or 16. (She's 18 now.) She was having trouble with the kids at school and keeping to herself. The school psychologist was concerned about her flat affect, but we think now just was just reserved and giving the psychologist the answers she wanted to hear. She finished school early and is now in college and her social problems have greatly diminished.

As far as the TV show, I took away from it that the school and therapist were concerned that the kid's quirky behaviors were actually symptoms of a larger problem. Sort of like realizing maybe Theo Huxtable isn't just a bad speller or lazy student, but he actually has dyslexia. I didn't think the examples they provided were helpful or realistic--other than being aggressive at school. When he had trouble cutting the heart out of paper, I thought he needed a pair of left-handed scissors!

[rlu]

When he had trouble cutting the heart out of paper, I thought he needed a pair of left-handed scissors!

My heart about broke when I saw that scene and was thinking I'm not going to watch this show anymore as too hard. I must have missed the actual diagnosis scene somehow (I was watching while doing some work yesterday) so I didn't realize they had a diagnosis during the scene with Max's dad and grandfather. That's the scene when I decided maybe I would keep watching.

I don't have any BTDT for original posting.

[Gena]

And note that autism/aspergers are pretty new diagnosis. Before the labels, and even more before the widespread popularity so more people accepted the labels explained things, every child with these behaviors would be considered quirky and "it's just the way this kid is"

Actaually before the labels became widespread, children with these disorders were often seen as "bad kids" who would not follow the rules and behave themselves. The idea that they were unable to follow the rules for one reason or another was not usually considered.

I agree with the others that this is not an unusual age for an Asperger's diagnosis. I DVRed the show but haven't watched it yet, so I can't answer about the specific questions of what was presented.



Also OT, but I love Peter Krause since Six Feet Under

I didn't watch Six Feet Under, but I really liked him in Sports Night.

[sariana]

I didn't watch Six Feet Under, but I really liked him in Sports Night.

:yeahthat: That was a great show.

[newg]

Did it bother anyone else the way the school reacted? Telling the parents that a different school might be a better fit for their son?? That doesn't seem realistic to me at all and kind made me mad because that's not the way schools (at least the ones I've been in) handle things now!