s/o nanny: WOHM, nanny and preschool or daycare?

[HIU8]

Ok, for those WOHM, do you have a nanny ft that takes your DC to preschool which is only a few hours a day a few days a week, or are your DC in ft daycare (with or without a preschool component)?

If I go back to work FT DS will be in K and aftercare, but right now DD is in preschool and we are debating whether we do ft daycare with preschool in the morning, or a nanny and preschool just 3 days a week in the morning (the nanny would also pick up DS from school, so no aftercare).

Any BTDT? Pro's, Con's???

[slworld]

I WOH FT and my 20month old goes to daycare. He has been going to daycare since 11months. Its an in-home daycare with no preschool component. Nanny is our area is very expensive.

[egoldber]

We looked at the cost of a full time nanny and decided it was too much for us. We considered a part time nanny + preschool, but decided that had none of the benefits and would actually be more than what we currently pay for FT daycare + before and after care.

Also, I decided that *I* did not want to deal with a nanny. I hate dealing with personnel stuff and it would just not suit my personality.

So younger DD is in a preschool that has before and after care. My older DD went to this same preschool (no before or after care obviously) and younger DD was in the same preschool when I went back to work. So we have hisotyr there, we know them, they know us and it's very comfortable for us there. The other nice thing is they offer elementary school age child care for snow days, school holidays and teacher work days.

It is a bit farther from my home than I would prefer. Technically it is not that far and during the day it is a very quick trip. But at commute times it can take me 30-45 minutes to do the round trip. I tried to get her into a preschool/daycare closer to our home, but I did not apply in time and now she is on the wait list.

Older DD is in the before and after care at her school (her school starts late, after 9) and I am very happy with the care there.

[GaPeach_in_Ca]

My older son went to a home daycare until he started K. Oh, that's not quite right, he went to a center from 7 mo until he was 2 and it wasn't right for us.

He never went to a formalized preschool. We might have changed to a more "school" type environment the year before, except we had a 2nd child and the ease of having them together won out over that. He has done well in K, so it hasn't hampered him in anyways. He attends the after care at school and that has been awesome. THey have a great time and that is where he has made his closest friends.

My second son is in a home daycare. He has 3 more years from this fall before starting K. We are thinking that we may switch to a more structured center type preschool daycare for the year or two before K. We will see.

We talked about maybe doing a nanny, but cost was prohibitive (may have worked out to relatively the same for 2 kids) and also we didn't like the idea of having one person, driving our kids around, etc. We were on the wait list for the aftercare for sometime and if we hadn't got in, we may indeed have gone with a nanny.

[AnnieW625]

We do not have a nanny, in our area it would almost triple what we pay for daycare in an in home setting. We could not afford the $15 an hour most nannies charge in our area. We pay $200 a week for daycare at the providers home. I love it, and so does DD too! She's been there since she was four mos. old.

DD goes to preschool two mornings a week (DH drops off and DCP picks her up), next year she'll go three mornings a week.

When DD goes to kindy in 2011 she'll most likely have before school, and after school care. #2 will continue in the same daycare as DD goes to now, and then most likely the same preschool too.

[smiles33]

I'm too paranoid to leave my DDs with a nanny, no matter how great the references, as there's no accountability when there's only one adult. I sent both girls to my employer's on-site NAEYC-accredited center starting around 4 months old. DD1 then transitioned to an all-day preschool/daycare center near our home when I went on maternity leave. DD2 will move there once she's potty-trained.

I have heard on my local moms' listserv that p/t nannies are harder to come by (they prefer f/t) so you might also have a challenge in finding someone. Plus, you also then have the issue of someone driving your child (unless you live close enough for them to walk home). My friend's nanny crashed their Acura MDX in a head-on collision with another car when she was turning left, though luckily her son was ok.

[egoldber]

I have heard on my local moms' listserv that p/t nannies are harder to come by (they prefer f/t) so you might also have a challenge in finding someone. Plus, you also then have the issue of someone driving your child (unless you live close enough for them to walk home).

When we were looking for people, this was definitely our experience. There were plenty of people interested in the job we posted, but it was pretty clear they would have preferred full time.

[kam]

I work PT, but that means that I leave for work at 7 and get home at 5.
We use a FT, Montessori day care. They take children from 3 mos - 6 years. Our DD is thriving. I drop her at my parents' place in the morning before I leave for work, and my parents take her to day care on their way to work. I pick her up.

We considered a nanny, and really, it would be infinitely easier for us to have a FT Nanny/Housekeeper. While it would be more expensive, it would save me about 8-10 hours of commuting a week. but DD is doing so well at the school, that the inconvenience is worth it to us. She's learning a ton, and just loves going in!

Later, with more children, we may do a combination of day care and FT nanny/housekeeper, just so I don't go insane juggling work, kids, housework and life!

[khalloc]

My kids' daycare is also a preschool. They have each been going there since they were babies. My DD is now 4 and I think she has learned alot. They grow a garden each summer, have small pets (hampster and hermit crabs). She knew her ABCs and how to count to 10 when she was about 19 months old. I feel like the preschool component kicks in as soon as they are out of the infant room. But even in the infant room they are learning about textures and sensory things as soon as they are able to sit up. They paint with natural paints, etc...

[sste]

We have tried almost all combinations at this point! I think my ideal is to have a full-time nanny and part-time preschool - - but we only want to pay for that if we have one baby (too young for preschool) in the house plus our preschool-age DS. The thing about a nanny is that it saves you alot of wear and tear - - DH and I find it stressful to get to and from daycare and while DS loves his daycare/preschool he is tired and cranky after a full day plus a 30 minute drive home. Also, a nanny will often do some combination of the following (not all if they are caring for your dc full-time): straighten your house, cook/meal prep, grocery shopping, errands, or laundry. This is invaluable!!! If money is not an object I would think seriously about nanny plus preschool and have your nanny use the preschool time to act as your "household manager" and do more off the list of nanny extras I mentioned.

[mikeys_mom]

We have had a FT nanny since I went back to work FT (well, 4 days a week) when DS was 1 year old. Around here, nanny costs are really reasonable and it is relatively easy to find great nannies. My friends in the US are jealous of the program we have here.

Both DS and DD#1 started preschool at the local community centre 5 days a week for 2 hours a day around age 2.5. It is walking distance from our house so the nanny drops off and picks them up.

DS started nursery school for 3 hours a day, 5 days a week at age 3 and DD#1 will start in Sept at almost 4, because of how their birthdays fall. At the moment I am leaning towards enrolling DD#1 in the full day program (9am-4pm) next year because I think that she will be bored otherwise and my nanny will have her hands full with the twins. I don't want DD#1 stuck in the house every afternoon because her sisters are napping. DS did not need the full day at that age, but she does.

For us, a nanny was the best route because she also cooks some meals, does laundry and keeps the house clean while the kids are napping. She is basically a replacement for what I would do if I were a SAHM. If one of us is running late, it is not the biggest deal. We are not bound to a deadline for daycare pickup. This way, DH and I both come home at the end of the day and can enjoy time with the kids. It make our lives a lot easier.

[arivecchi]

The thing about a nanny is that it saves you alot of wear and tear - - DH and I find it stressful to get to and from daycare and while DS loves his daycare/preschool he is tired and cranky after a full day plus a 30 minute drive home. Also, a nanny will often do some combination of the following (not all if they are caring for your dc full-time): straighten your house, cook/meal prep, grocery shopping, errands, or laundry. This is invaluable!!! If money is not an object I would think seriously about nanny plus preschool and have your nanny use the preschool time to act as your "household manager" and do more off the list of nanny extras I mentioned.:yeahthat: My nanny handles everything for the kids, including their meals, their laundry, their rooms and she tidies the house, does our dishes and takes the trash out. Once DS1 starts pre-school (probably 3 mornings a week), she will pick him up and drop him off (all schools we applied to are within walking distance). We also have the flexibility to get home late if something comes up or if we want to go out. I :heartbeat: our nanny. She is part of our family and our lives would not be the same without her.

[egoldber]

My nanny handles everything for the kids, including their meals, their laundry, their rooms and she tidies the house, does our dishes and takes the trash out

LOL! See this is what I didn't like. I don't want someone in my home like that. It skeeves me out. I don't know why, it just does.

[arivecchi]

LOL! See this is what I didn't like. I don't want someone in my home like that. It skeeves me out. I don't know why, it just does. I can understand that. I love getting home to a clean house though! Our house is a wreck on weekends or whenever she is not around. LOL :)

[mikeys_mom]

I can understand that. I love getting home to a clean house though! Our house is a wreck on weekends or whenever she is not around. LOL :)

Sounds a lot like our house. ;)

[egoldber]

I love my house cleaners and I love every other Friday coming home to a clean house. :) But they don't do my laundry. I dunno. It's just not something I am comfortable with, plus having to deal with vacation and sick days and whatever else. Also, a local mommy board has a nanny forum, and frankly the stuff I read there scared the crap out of me!

[arivecchi]

Our nanny just does the kids' laundry, not mine or DH's. I am not comfortable with that.

[ellies mom]

We got our babysitter when Ellie was in pre-school and Audrey was 9 months old. Part of why we went with a babysitter instead of a daycare was because Ellie was thriving in daycare and I wanted her to stay. So I needed someone to do the driving and watching the baby. Now that Ellie is in kindergarten, it still works great. She gets the girls ready and gets Ellie on and off the bus. It ends up being cheaper to have her than to cobble together different childcare solutions for each girl.

[sste]

I think I have a high skeeve threshold - - plus our nanny is much neater/cleaner than DH and I so if anyone is being skeeved out in our household it is the nanny subjected to our mess. She does everyone's laundry and I have a system where I stain treat in advance and put things that can't go in the dryer in those mesh laundry bags.

But, if it would increase stress for you rather than decrease it then no point in paying extra for a nanny for sure!

Our nanny issues were related to health and I do think its important to make sure your nanny has health insurance (ours did). I too read about the horror stories but never experienced that - - really, if you find someone whose current employer is actively working to get the nanny a new job b/c kids are older or moving and the nanny has five years worth of glowing references it is extraordinarily unlikely you will be one of those horror stories.

Where nanny problems develop ime is where 1) the parents hired in haste and without checking references with absolute thoroughness, 2) grossly underpay and either can't attract a quality person or the quality person becomes resentful; or 3) expect super-human things from their nanny - - any child caregiver performs better with the right structure and breaks. We were very careful to make sure that in addition to naps our nanny had other breaks - - for example we signed DS up for a music class that gave the nanny a little extra down-time. We also asked our nanny what kinds of things she liked to do with DS to break up the day, get out of the house and found those activities for the two of them.

[arivecchi]

Where nanny problems develop ime is where 1) the parents hired in haste and without checking references with absolute thoroughness, 2) grossly underpay and either can't attract a quality person or the quality person becomes resentful; or 3) expect super-human things from their nanny - - any child caregiver performs better with the right structure and breaks. We were very careful to make sure that in addition to naps our nanny had other breaks - - for example we signed DS up for a music class that gave the nanny a little extra down-time. We also asked our nanny what kinds of things she liked to do with DS to break up the day, get out of the house and found those activities for the two of them.:yeahthat: You have to pay the average/better wage to get a great nanny. We trust our nanny somuch right now that she has carte blanche during the day with the kids. She decides what they do every day (go to the park, go to playdates, the zoo, meet other nannies). We let her do those things so that the day is fun for her as well. Happy nanny = happy kids.

[arivecchi]

I think I have a high skeeve threshold - - plus our nanny is much neater/cleaner than DH and I so if anyone is being skeeved out in our household it is the nanny subjected to our mess. So true! :hysterical:

[C99]

We have a nanny, part-time. She works 30 hours each week for us. With 3 kids and at least one day each month where there is no school, it made the most sense financially to go with a part-time nanny. Because we live in a city, it's easy to find a part-time nanny. And actually, her take-home is comparable to FT nanny salaries. I never thought I'd be one of those people with a nanny, but I find it far less stressful than to pick up or drop off multiple kids in multiple locations every day. And I don't have to take a day off, have DH take a day off, or otherwise scramble to find childcare on the days that my kids are not in school.

[Sillygirl]

I have a FT nanny and both boys attend AM Montessori preschool. Child care eats up a huge chunk of our income. I don't care at all. I never worry about school holidays or if one of the kids are sick. My boys are known by name at every nature center, library and museum in the county because their nanny takes them everywhere. She teaches them Spanish, does their laundry, and feeds them the food I want them to eat. She adores the boys, calls to check on them when she's on vacation, and makes them birthday presents. I pay her very well and make sure she's happy. Yes I could have a boat or a paid-off mortgage instead but knowing my boys are happy and thriving is worth it.

[JustMe]

Before dd reached elementary school age she was in an in-home daycare until almost 4 yrs old and then a full-time preschool/childcare. If could do it all over again and lived in an ideal world (with unlimited money), I'd do part-time preschool with a nanny. Dd went to a preschool with very loving teachers/directors...still, they were not able to address her needs as fully as would have benefited her due to all the children they had to focus on a lot (and there was a 6:1 ratio at her preschool). For my dd at least, she would have been a lot better off being able to have a caregiver that was able to focus on her individual needs more than her preschool teachers were (and they tried really hard, did the best they could under the circumstances).

Hope this makes sense. I have been thinking about this a lot, as I am in the process of adopting number 2, who will mostly likely come to me at the preschool age.

[elektra]

Nanny works for us. Love her. She does lunch, kids' laundry, light housekeeping (empyting dishwasher, taking out trash), in addition to caring for the kids of course. She takes them to the park almost daily and now to the library on Thursdays.
I went the nanny route because I work from home and it allows me to see the kids at lunch and here and there throughout the day. That comes with its own set of challenges actually, but I still feel like it's the best choice for us. It's also more economical when you have 2 kids instead of just one.
At first I was glad to be home when she was here, but now I trust her completely and it doesn't bother me at all if she is here alone with them.

[secchick]

Our daycare is an NAEYC-accredited program that goes through K and is near my office. While we would have preferred to keep both kids there as long as possible, when DD got into the private Catholic school that we put her on the waiting list for well before she turned a year old, we had to do it. She goes to pre-K at a school that goes through 8th and has the same hours as the daycare in the extended day program. It sucks to do multiple drop offs and pickups, but DD's school is so hard to get into we couldn't pass it up. Now we can get subsequent kids in as siblings.

We wouldn't consider a nanny. Friends who have tried have generally expressedfrustration in trying to find individuals who speak English (at all) for any price and we find that important (but don't get me wrong, bi-lingual would be great). The lack of accountability is another concern. And every single person we know who got a nanny-cam fired the nanny. I have similar concerns with in-home care, and prefer that my children not regularly be driven by others.

[lovin2shop]

Add me to the list of those so excited with our nanny situation, that sometimes I can't even believe it. DS1 is in 1st grade and DS2 just turned 2, so no preschool yet. But, I'm pretty sure that when he turns 3, we'll start doing a part time preschool program for him. There is no way that I would give our nanny up for a full time preschool though. No way, no how, don't care how much it costs. My DH even jokes that the only reason I want to have another baby is because I want to start the clock over for how many more years we can keep our nanny. And, he's maybe kind of even right on that one...