Help me prepare for C-section

[tatyanam]

It looks like I will have planned c-section at the end of April. We have no relatives that can come and help us when new baby is born. We have a 3 y.o. daughter that goes to daycare during the day. I am worried if I will be able to take care of the baby when my husband need to leave me to pick up/ drop of our daughter or do other things. Here is what I’m planning so far.

1. Schedule c-section for Monday, Tuesday or Wednesday to have time to recover before the weekend.
2. Drop daughter at the daycare in the morning and go to the hospital with my husband to have a baby. My daughter can stay at the daycare the first night if needed (it is a small in-home daycare, the owner will look after my daughter and put her to bed).
3. When I feel better my husband can pick up our daughter from the daycare and bring her to the hospital to meet new baby.
4. Second night we can either all stay in the same hospital room or my husband will go home with the daughter and I will stay at the hospital with the baby. (Our hospital has small private rooms. We can bring inflatable mattress for the daughter. There is a recliner for dad. When we had our first child and needed help from a nurse, it could take 5-10 minutes before she comes. I can’t wait this long, that is why I want my husband to be with me most of the time. However, room is not very big, that is why it might be better for two of them to go home).
5. I will prepare and freeze some meals before the birth so that my husband can quickly warm or finish them when we come back home.
6. My daughter will continue going to the daycare during the day when the baby arrives. My husband will go back to work when I can take care of the baby by myself.
7. If anything happens and I need to have c-section earlier (at night or on weekend) we will try to either leave daughter at the daycare or all go to the hospital. If our daughter will be at the hospital during birth, I will need to be in OR without my husband. Will it be too scary for 3 y.o. to see her mommy after c-section? What else can we do?

What are the things that I forgot to plan? How soon can I feel better to be able to take care of the baby by myself? Can you share your c-section experience to help me plan it better?

[g-mama]

6. My daughter will continue going to the daycare during the day when the baby arrives. My husband will go back to work when I can take care of the baby by myself.



This is the most important point! You are golden. I've had 3 c-sections and each time my husband stayed home for about 4 days after the baby's birth and then returned to work. I was on my own with the other children other than when my MIL would come every other day or so for a few hours, but she was of little to no help. ;) If you will have your husband there to help you and no other child to care for, I think you'll be great and will recover pretty easily.

Sounds like you've got it all lined up. My only thought would be that I'd rather wait the 5-10 minutes for the nurse rather than have a crowded hospital room with a bored 3 yo for all those hours, so I'd send dh and dd home to sleep. With this being your second baby, you won't need as much help from the nurses as you may have with the first.

[KrisM]

I didn't have extra help after any of my c-sections. I, personally, find it easier to be home than at the hospital, because then my DH and other kids are there too. So, with DS2, I only stayed 1 night. It was easier to just sit on the couch at home than to figure out how to juggle the other kids. We didn't have daycare as an option, so it was just DH watching them and brining them to visit me/baby.

If you don't do too much, you can likely be fine with taking care of both after a week or so. Your DH will have to drive the older one to daycare, as you're not supposed to drive for 2 weeks. And if she's in daycare, taking care of just a baby shouldn't be too hard - just don't do anything but take care of the baby.

[Elilly]

If it were me, I'd schedule a Friday c-section. That way, you can be in the hospital over the weekend and still have your DH home with you for most of the next week.

[twowhat?]

Everyone recovers differently from a c-section - I know people who says it's so easy and others who say it was difficult. So I'd just plan for the difficult and hope you are pleasantly surprised:) For me, it was a very difficult recovery. Part of it might have been that I was insanely stretched out from carrying twins and part of it may have just been me. The best day for me was the day of the surgery - you are hooked up on your epidural and feel no pain and you're on a high from having a baby pulled out of you. The next day was worse - they took out the epidural and I got IV pain meds. I pushed the button on the medication pump the max number of times:) They encourage you to get up and walk around but I just couldn't, I was in too much pain. The next day, the IV was taken out and I only got oral pain meds. That was the worst. They made me get out of bed and sit on a chair (which sucked - I couldn't even hold myself up). All I wanted to do was get back in the bed. I maxed my stay at the hospital because my recovery was so rough. I never was able to get up and walk up and down the hallway - I was only able to take a few steps to and from the bathroom (and at one point I sat on the toilet and wasn't able to get back up - they had to get two nurses to get me up and back in bed). My husband had to handle every single diaper change and bring the babies to me to nurse. I didn't want to go home because I didn't know what I would do without that adjustable bed. I don't wanna scare you but it won't hurt to be prepared for the worst.

Once home I could hold the babies because they don't weight that much (and I had normal-sized babies). The only thing really was that I moved VERY slowly for several weeks. I could take care of the babies (with help from hubby and MIL) but it was just hard and exhausting. The doctor told me NOT to lift their car seats so my husband had to handle that for doctors appts and such. Having meals prepared will REALLY help. Having the option of your husband staying home as long as you need will REALLY help. And each day you will feel better! Moving around as much as you can really does help with recovery.

Here's hoping for an EASY c-section recovery for you:)

[wencit]

twowhat?, your experience reminds me of something I would recommend to anyone having a c-section: if it's possible, make sure to stay on top of your meds and take them before you feel too much pain. I was worried I would look like a pain wimp in front of the nurses, but I remembered getting that advice here from someone else, so I made sure to request my medication before the pain got bad and as a result, was never in much discomfort.

(twowhat?, I'm so sorry about your pain management experience. :hug: That sounds awful!)

Another piece of advice I got from the mommies on this board was to walk as soon as possible, as much as possible. I made sure to do that with DS1 and had an easy recovery. With DS2, I was a bit lazier about it, and did have a harder time recovering (though I don't know how much of it was due to different circumstances, too).

I agree with a PP about the 5-10 minute wait not being a big deal as compared to having a cranky, unrested toddler on your hands. With newborns, there is not much you need to do besides nurse and change diapers. When DH went home to deal with DS1, I made sure he either brought the bassinet right next to my bedside with all the diapering supplies I needed, and/or the baby right in my arms. That way, I didn't have to move around much and didn't have to call the nurses for anything.

We didn't bring DS1 to see me and the baby until the day after the surgery. It's a personal decision, but I really didn't want him seeing me like that. We had some gifts for him that "the baby" brought, which DS1 was thrilled about. Also, I made sure to put the baby in the bassinet (or have DH hold him) because I didn't want the first thing DS1 to see was me holding the baby.

You sound pretty prepared to me! It will also help to do a search on these boards for c-section recovery tips, too.

[twowhat?]

twowhat?, your experience reminds me of something I would recommend to anyone having a c-section: if it's possible, make sure to stay on top of your meds and take them before you feel too much pain. I was worried I would look like a pain wimp in front of the nurses, but I remembered getting that advice here from someone else, so I made sure to request my medication before the pain got bad and as a result, was never in much discomfort.


Yes, I knew about this too which is why I maxed out the number of times I could press the button on the med pump:) Still ended up in a lot of pain!

[salsah]

looks like you have a good plan. keep in mind that you will not be allowed to lift anything heavier than the baby for one month and you are not supposed to drive for 2 weeks after.

i recommend that you plan for your dh to go home with your dd at night. you have the nurses to help you and everyone will be happier if your dh and your dd are well rested. your dd might even have a hard time sleeping in the hospital. i know my dd and my friends' toddlers didn't feel comfortable (just visiting with mom) in the hospital room.

i also suggest, if you haven't already, that you research what things you may want while in the hospital after a c-section and ways to make your recovery easier. that way you don't have to send your dh out to bring you your nursing pillow or underwear and pants that don't rub against the incision or laxatives. there are lots of threads about c-section recovery that you can search thru.

[cindys]

I have had 3 c-sections...1 emergency and 2 planned...

The 1st and 2nd were a breeze..The 3rd not so much and that was just because I couldnt seem to shake an infection...

It sounds like you have some good plans laid out...

I was lucky in the regard that my Mom was able to help with the 2 yr old (15yr old was not an issue) and DH works from home...

We had the 2yr old come up a couple hrs after the baby was born...He was so excited and came dressed in scrubs and with his own medical bag and medical gloves (he had all that because he had just had his tonsils out after being in the hospital for a week)...He was the cutest thing ever!

With my 2yr old I had my surgery on a Fri which was wonderful but with the baby it was on a Monday which stunk because it was hard for my Mom to take so much time off from work but luckily she worked so close so she came to see me on her lunch hr and then I stayed by myself at night after the first night so DH could stay with the the 2yr old. I was in the hospital for 4 days..

I have to tell you I enjoyed that time...I slept, watched tv, nursed in peace and really got quality time with the baby all by myself :)

DHs family and I mean his entire family love to be in your room as soon as you are wheeled out of recovery with their cameras and video cameras..It was sweet because I love them all so much but it would have been nice to have a special time with just me, Hubby and our boys...

Cindy
Mama to 3 boys...18, 4 & 17mos:heartbeat::heartbeat::heartbeat:

[mom2binsd]

http://www.windsorpeak.com/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=349318&highlight=section

Here's a great thread!

[SkyrMommy]

You sound like you have so much planned and thought out. I hope all goes well...

In my experience and as PPs have said - stay on top of your pain medication. It really helped me recover and move around quicker when I kept myself from going to far without med help. A few times I tried to move around and get things done with longer times between meds... thinking that I was fine... it ended up being worse made me more hurt and tired.

I second some of the PPs as well - let DH and DD go home to sleep and rely on the nurses as much as you can. They will be better rested for you when you need them most.

And once you are home also don't push it. Have as much laid out and set up when you get home as possible - if you are nursing - have DH bring the baby to you as much as possible even at night. My mistake was getting up nightly to try to nurse DD - it was really a struggle through the pain to get out of bed. My csection was an emergency and everything about the recovery was an unknown - next time DH says he now knows what he'll need to do better!

:grouphug: Again - I hope all goes well!

[SnuggleBuggles]

I didn't have a c-section but I wrote a birth plan in the event that I needed one. Simple things like no catheter till anesthesia was working, parents to announce baby's sex, no sedation for mom post surgery, IV in non dominant arm, eat/ drink ASAP... if you want any more of those sorts of ideas, let me know.

Beth

[KrisM]

I didn't have a c-section but I wrote a birth plan in the event that I needed one. Simple things like no catheter till anesthesia was working, parents to announce baby's sex, no sedation for mom post surgery, IV in non dominant arm, eat/ drink ASAP... if you want any more of those sorts of ideas, let me know.

Beth

Along those lines, I had a doozy of a c-section birth plan, if you're interested. I watched in a mirror and I was the one to announce the baby's sex! I saw DS2 before DH did. I got to hold him before he was cleaned off as well. Those 2 were my biggest things and I got what I wanted.

[Happy 2B mommy]

It really stinks not having family around who can help when you have a c-section. I was in the same situation with DS. Having your DD in daycare fulltime will be a blessing for you as you recover. I found that caring for the baby wasn't too hard, but caring for my 2.5 year old was!

I agree with PPs - send your DH and DD home! Let the nurses care for you. Perhaps you could write a letter to the hospital adm. stating your concerns based on your experience from your first birth. Sqeaky wheel getting the needed oil, IYKWIM?

The first week home was really hard for me. I stayed in the hosp as long as I could - but I also had a pretty good nursing staff. Basic things, like the higher toilets and the grab bars in the bathrooms and on the hospital bed made being in the hospital much easier for me than being in my house.

Also, could you afford a mom's helper/ babysittler for a week or 2 after your DH goes back to work? I had one (DD wasn't in daycare, though) and found it really helpful to just have an extra set of hands for a couple of hours every day. She did more cleaning, helping get dinner ready, laundry etc than caring for the baby.

Good luck. It sounds like you've got a good plan.

[MamaMolly]

One thing you may need to double check is that siblings are allowed into the hospital room with you. My friend delivered at the same hospital we plan to use and in January they wouldn't allow siblings into the patient rooms at all because of the fear of H1N1. My friend was able to go to the lobby with the new baby and visit there. The hospital has since rescinded the rule (I guess now that flu season is over?), but I thought it worth mentioning that you just double check it, especially if having your older DC bunk in the room with you is a big part of your plan.

[michellerw]

twowhat?, your experience reminds me of something I would recommend to anyone having a c-section: if it's possible, make sure to stay on top of your meds and take them before you feel too much pain. I was worried I would look like a pain wimp in front of the nurses, but I remembered getting that advice here from someone else, so I made sure to request my medication before the pain got bad and as a result, was never in much discomfort.

This is HUGE. I had the option of staying in the hospital a 4th day and went home because I had to ask for my pain meds and the doctor was telling me to stay ahead of the pain. Ultimately, I healed faster at home for this reason.

[tatyanam]

Thank you all for support and great advices. I feel less worried now.

[momof2girls]

For DD1 I didn't realize how good I had it at the hospital so with DD#2 I stayed as long as they let me. It is hard to get up in the middle of the night when your incision hurts so much (fwiw, DD#2's c-section was easier than DD#1s as far as pain is concerned). I made sure to wake up in the middle of the night to pop my pain meds so that when I got up in the morning I would feel ok. Also, my docs/nurses didn't "baby" me after the first day. They removed the bandages to the incision within 24 hours so be prepared to have to look at it sooner than you probably want to see it. Hopefuly, the joy of having your baby will eclipse any of the unpleasant parts of having a c-section.
Btw, I was bummed when the catheter was removed b/c that first trip to the toilet was a tough one! Just take your time with everything!

Oh, and be prepared to hug a pillow against your abdomen whenever you laugh or sneeze for the first week.

[twowhat?]

Btw, I was bummed when the catheter was removed b/c that first trip to the toilet was a tough one! Just take your time with everything!


LOL!! I couldn't go! At all. I tried multiple times and finally ended up in tears, a crumpled heap on the toilet. A nurse had to re-insert the catheter and got a whopping 750 ml outta my bladder. That was the best I felt throughout the entire recovery!!

[scrooks]

LOL!! I couldn't go! At all. I tried multiple times and finally ended up in tears, a crumpled heap on the toilet. A nurse had to re-insert the catheter and got a whopping 750 ml outta my bladder. That was the best I felt throughout the entire recovery!!


I had my c-section with DS around noon and that evening around 11 or so they were going to take my catheter out. I BEGGED them not to...they left it in until 6:30 the next morning (they said 18 hours was the max). I appreciated it very much.

I would say send DH and DD home. DH didn't spend one night in the hospital with me with either kid. I prefered him go home and get rest with DD (the room was tiny) and I preferred he go home at night to see DD when I was in the hospital with DS. Both were c-sections. And with DD, we brought her to see DS but she was kind of uncomfortable seing me in the hospital bed. We didn't bring her up again. She was much happier at home with her grandparents. I think diffferent kids have different reactions. Some are excited to see mommy and their new sibling and some may be scared.

[elephantmeg]

you'll be fine. I did the same thing and was perfectly OK at home alone with the baby. In fact it was a huge relief after chasing a toddler pregnant. Is he going to be bringing home food the first few weeks and grocery shopping? That's the only other thing I could think of.