Would you let your 7 year old sunbathe?

[Seitvonzu]

On thursday, I was at library storytime with Lucy and on our way out of the children's section, I missed a step and THWACK! down I went. Upshot of this-- i've been on the couch since that time with a sprained ankle. I'm missing the best weather of the year (probably for the rest of the year too) after a HORRID cold & wet winter. DH and Lucy are in Philly at a birthday party and i'm feeling not a little bit sorry for myself! I'm also feeling a little judgey about my neighbors....

We live in a townhouse community. Every year my DH dreads the spring because it means our neighbors are out IN FORCE (and their kids are out in our yard, but that's an issue for another day). So around lunchtime, right after DH and Lu left for their mini road-trip, I was on my couch facing our big front window. Suddenly I see a little child in footie pjs walking toward my door-- it's the neighbors two doors down just turned 2 year old. I assumed my neighbors were outside and she started walking through my next door neighbors yard toward her house. about 5-10 minutes later I hear "i'm returning someone who belongs to you." apparently, another neighbor saw 2yearoldgirl wandering around and brought her home. this other neighbor lives in another section of townhouses that are closer to our semi-busy main road. the father's response "what were you doing out there? how did you get out the door? we're going to have to lock you in now!" he was scolding the CHILD. like a 2 year old has the impulse control to stay inside and mind themselves (he was clearly not paying attention as she was outside for approx 10 minutes)

so anyhow....the mom comes home and he's telling her the story and she seemed pretty mad. the neighbor that found 2yearoldgirl was apparently outside because i hear the mom say "i hear you are the one who saved my kid!" weird.

but ...i'm rambling. so their seven year old comes out to help dad wash the car. (dad came out to wash the car before mom got home, so the 2yearoldgirl was inside alone-- i'm hoping she was napping or something)....after 7yearold gets tired of helping he grabs a towel and starts "laying out" in the grassy median in our parking lot. he wasn't reading, playing a game, picnicking, playing with action figures, etc. he was just "sunbathing." why would a kid do that? i didn't see him put any sunscreen on....but still? sunbathing?


so go ahead, tell me i'm judgey. it's very "rear window" around here lately :):):)

[TwinFoxes]

Maybe he was just daydreaming, or watching the clouds. I used to lay in our backyard and watch the clouds. Was he in a bathing suit?

A little judgey :) but I'm sure you're stir crazy.

[Tondi G]

My kids only go outside to play on the slip n slide or run around with some neighbor kids. When they are out they wear their rashguard shirts and trunks. My boys are not interested in "laying out". I have heard our neighbors DD who is 9yrs old say she wanted to "lay out and get a tan".... lucky for her both her parents are half black/half white and she doesn't burn... but she and her siblings get BROWN in the summertime. I wish I had their skin tone!

My boys do like to help me wash the car but usually by the time it gets to the drying part they have wandered into the house and left me to dry the SUV on my own... all the while they keep popping their heads out the door asking me if they can have those popsicles I promised them for helping me wash the car! LOL

Scary about your neighbors 2 year old... YIKES!

[wellyes]

Yeah, that wandering off 2 year old bit gave me chills.

[Seitvonzu]

he was definitely in a bathing suit-- and shirtless. that's the part that bugged me initially because i'm pretty sure he wasn't slathered up in california baby :) or even coppertone! :)

yeah...the wandering two year old REALLY freaked me out. when she was about 16 months she RAN into the parking lot and was there for minutes before her mother called her back-- i thought the parent was out that time, and apparently she was watching from their door, about 50 feet away? what if a car came? my child would never have walked back at 16 months...but this kid did. so at least that was good. then there was the time when she was out being monitored by the brother (who was six at the time) and they both were nearly in the road-- they were out for nearly 20 minutes that time?

i know i'm over protective, but PUH-LEEZE. i'd NEVER put my 6 year old in charge of my toddler....he was trying to drag her back onto the sidewalk and she was rearing back and it was just ridiculous-- both of them could have been serioulsy hurt. :( and their parents just don't even know all this is happening. it's pretty bad :(

[JamiMac]

My girls have played beach party where they've brought towels outside, with a radio and some snacks and "sunbathed". It usually consists of 3-5 minutes of laying out and the rest playing because their attention spans are just too short. The neighbor kids where I used to live in California would do the same thing too. They'd say they were going to lay in the sun and bring out the towels. It never amounted to too much time so I didn't think anything of it. It's just kids playing IMO. I'm pretty loose on those things though. I also don't lather on the sunscreen every time they're in the yard either.

[BelleoftheBallFlagstaff]

I wouldn't allow it, but I have Irish skin and have had pre-melanoma spots removed. Living at 7,000 feet makes it worse. The thing with the toddler and the dad not paying attention is horrible. We all judge others. I think judging based on behavior is far more acceptable than judging on superficial things (clothes, hair) or on things like race, religion, etc.

[g-mama]

The 2yo thing is scary.

My 9yo ds will sometimes "lay out" at our pool. It lasts 5 minutes or less, and he just lies there to dry in the sun and he says it feels good. My boys, despite SPF 50+ at the pool eve3ry day are BROWN by mid-June due to their heritage and I wonder sometimes if people think I am a bad mother b/c they comment on it often.

[Corie]

Since my mom died at age 49 due to malignant melanoma, I will never
allow my kids to sunbathe. It can kill you.

[Seitvonzu]

okay...i'm pretty over the sunbathing thing because it didn't last too too long (it was longer than 15 minutes, but not a half hour or more...) i think it was more based on what i know about this kid, he just strikes me as a little bit sad :( i feel sorry for him sometimes :(

the two year old really gets me. probably because i have a two year old and i'm overly protective and so is her dad (he's worse than me). i have this horrible feeling that one of these kids is going to get hit by a car in our parking lot. and i have a even worse feeling that i could hit someone one day and it will not only ruin their lives, but my own and my families....it just really annoys me that i have to live with those feelings and fears :)

[mamicka]

The 2 year old thing would worry me. That could have ended really badly.

The sunbathing thing doesn't phase me. I could see my 6 yr-old doing that & me asking him "what are you doing?" him - "sunbathing" me - "where did you hear about that?" & then he'd either tell me that he made it up or read about it in a book or so-and-so told him about it... etc. If it became a regular thing I'd not allow it but not just a playing around thing.

[bubbaray]

My 3yo already "sunbathes" sans sunscreen, not for long periods, but definitely she has "sun" time every day whenever possible. It helps her eczema sooooo much.

When she is older, she will receive phototherapy treatment for her eczema, which is basically a tanning booth in a hospital (OK, I know it is more regulated than a regular tanning booth, but you get the drift). The kids have to be old enough to keep the special glasses on without taking them off.

So, *I* am totally OK with sun time for my youngest child.

DD#1, OTOH, has the complexion of Casper the Ghost and I would freak out if she were outside without sunscreen.

The 2yo wandering around would freak me out, but honestly, if my kids had done that, I might have said the same thing outloud. Obviously, it would be ME and DH who would be responsible, but yeah, I probably would have said those exact same words out loud.

[pinkmomagain]

In regards to sunbathing, I think getting *some* sun sans sunscreen for a short period of time is OK for my kids. Therefore sitting out on the grass for 15 min is OK, sitting an hour on the beach in a bikini is not OK. But I don't think even my 13 yo could sit still in the sun for more than 20 min without getting bored though.......

[Seitvonzu]

yeah, even though the kid is as pastey as can be, i was more thinking "how is that even remotely fun?" he is a sweet kid, and sometimes when i see how he "plays" it makes me sad-- it just seems lonely or something :( i don't know.

i know that the man was probably embarassed when the child was returned to him and i'm sure i would have said something about the door too if i'd been in the same situation. it wasn't so much WHAT he said as HOW he said it. and the previous things i've observed. besides the things involving the toddler, he's also gotten VERY mad with the older child, when the situation was CLEARLY his fault. once he told the older child he was going to come out so he needed to keep his bike on a certain part of the parking lot (the child was bicycling around in our parking lot with no adult watching). an HOUR passed and the dad did not come out. i was watching from the window and the child stayed in the alloted part of the lot for about 45 minutes... then he started to veer around the corner (we live on the corner) at about the hour fifteen mark, dad comes out and is LIVID. i'd heard him tell the child he'd be out in 10 minutes (or was it 5?).... COME ON DAD!!!!!!!!! :( BOO! :( once the child was out of the house for literally 8 hours-- from morning to late afternoon. the parents checked on him ONE time during this......

so it's a combination of things, but i can see why "sunbathing" would be a fun game in certain contexts. and i didn't think about how it helps eczema-- maybe i should try that :)??? :)

[Ceepa]

It wouldn't bother me that the neighbor's kid was lying there not running around. :shrug: