Going from SAHM to WAHM, any advice?

[edurnemk]

I've been considering going back to work PT for the firm I used to work for before DS was born, originally I though of going back until May. But they contacted me 2 days ago, since they need me for a project ASAP. So, I'm starting in a few days. I'm meeting with them until tomorrow, so I don't know all the details but we did agree during the inital conversation I could do most of the work from home, and only go into the office when necessary, since I don't want to put DS in daycare or leave him with my mom everyday. He's so used to being with me all day, I don't want to make such a big change all of a sudden (we just moved abroad). Plus I love spending the day with him, I would miss him terribly.

So, my question for the WAHM's out there is, how do you organize your day? What was the transition like? Is it really doable? In other words, do your kids let you get any work done, or do you end up doing everything during naps and after bedtime? (DS is 26 months old and really used to having all my attention)

I should mention DH is not able to help during the week, since he works crazy hours and travels a lot (he's a consultant), but I will have help around the house at least 2 days a week (with cleaning, laundry, cooking).

[wellyes]

My DD is 23 (almost 24) months and I work from home 1 day/week. I found it really difficult to work from home with her there. She became very needy when my attention was focused elsewhere, much moreso that usual. For example, wanting to pound on my keyboard as I typed ---- singing loudly whenever I got on the phone -- almost like she knew the most effective ways to sabotage my efforts. I actually have my MIL come to the house so I can get work done. Maybe your mom can stop by for a few hours on days you work? That way you could have a set time of day for stuff like phone calls & intensely heads-down work.

Working with my daughter right there IS very nice in many ways :) I get to take "snuggle breaks" during the day which is awesome.

If you can't get help I'd definitely try to structure things a little. I got DD a little chair and desk at IKEA (about $20 total) so she could sit next to my desk. She has a coloring hour in the morning and time for stickers play or other crafty stuff at her desk in the afternoon. I also make sure that all my breaks are taken OUTSIDE playing with her to make sure she gets fresh air & sunshine and can run off as much energy as possible.

[annex]

Being a WAHM with no regular childcare is not easy. I only manage 15-20 hours /week of work. I focus on my DS when he is awake, and only work during naptime, after his bedtime, and when DH is home on weekends. I end up doing most of my work in 1-2 hour chunks, with a good portion of it on the weekends. I really don't think expecting to get work done while an active toddler is awake is doable, but YMMV.

[HIU8]

I'm a WAHM. I have been for 3 years now. I work 20-25 hours a week. You absolutely need child care. I used to have a sitter come to the house and take care of DD and DS while I worked. I have found it much easier to have DD and DS out of the house. Luckily, DS's old daycare (an in-home daycare) is only 1 mile from the house and she was more than happy to have my kids. They now go there when not in preschool (holidays etc....). They are in preschool m-f (with aftercare 2 days a week). When I have to work at home and they are home I must pop in a DVD or I will not get anything done. I hate having them sit while I work, so I would rather pay for them to be someplace having fun.

[GaPeach_in_Ca]

I can only get *maybe* 2 hours work done with the kids at home.

I do WFM when daycare/childcare is closed or kids are not well enough for school/daycare.

Perhaps if they were used to having me WFH it would be easier? I don't know because I would never try it without childcare.

[♥ms.pacman♥]

great thread, have been wondering the same thing. my DS is 10 weeks old and i plan to going back to working at home (part-time) any day now. i do not plan on getting any childcare...i plan to just work while he is napping during the day, which i know will be hard since some days he does not nap for more than 10 mins past 2 pm, and usually while he's napping i'm just trying to get some rest or do laundry, household chores etc. well we'll see how it goes. i'm guessing it may be a bit easier now since he's not mobile yet and still sleeps a decent amount during the day..i don't think i could do it once he's up and about.

[Kestrel]

We were able to do work-from-home pretty easily when DS was young; but once he turned 10 months or so, it didn't work. I WFH 15 hours/week, and OTH 20, DH WFH 55 hours/wk, with variable OTH. (That's life in real estate.)

When we can tag-team at home, we get good work done, but when only one parent is home? No dice.

Our compromise is 5 hours/day, two or three days/week daycare (10am-3pm). For less than 5 hours, we get 1/2 day rate at our daycare, and it allows us to get done those things that can't be interrupted. (Client phone calls, Lender and escrow people, ect.) Most of our paperwork and internet stuff we do with the tag-team method.

Another agent we know has a local high school girl come over to watch/play with baby a couple of hours each afternoon... that may work for you.

I do warn you, though, you may want to plan some simple, quick meals for at least your first couple of weeks of working, so you can spend some good quality time with baby. It's scary how much I missed my baby when I had to go back to working.

[TonFirst]

Oh, wow, this was my fall. I'm a SAHM, but I have a job that requires me to pretty much be available 24/7. I have meetings a few evenings a week, but during the day I get a lot of calls and emails that need to be triaged and addressed. And then this fall I thought it would be a great idea to take on a part-time contract job for the firm I used to work for full-time.

Thus, I refer to this past fall as "The Autumn of the Half-Ass." I feel like I wasn't able to do anything well. My public service job pays a pittance - it basically covers my babysitting costs - and the contract job was for a nonprofit client, so there wasn't any real money there, either. I could pay for a sitter for one morning a week, but otherwise, I was on my own. My daughter was about 18 months old at the time, and she is BUSY. It was impossible to get anything done while she was awake, so I was left with her 2-hour nap to do what a needed to do for the contract job, plus my other job, plus manage the household, keep things tidy, and feed everyone. Add to the mix that my husband has had a very intense workload since last summer, and I felt like I couldn't devote the time to anything -- I couldn't do anything well. It was very frustrating and I was delighted when the contract ended. I'll do contract work again. but not for less than an amount that will enable me to hire a sitter for more hours.

That said, I have a neighbor who works from home with her two small children (under age 2). She also has a F/T nanny. She LOVES it.

[edurnemk]

I do warn you, though, you may want to plan some simple, quick meals for at least your first couple of weeks of working, so you can spend some good quality time with baby. It's scary how much I missed my baby when I had to go back to working.

Thanks for the tip, thankfully I don't have to take care of meals, since I have a housekeeper who'll help me with that and all the housework. But I am worried about how to keep DS busy when I need to take calls, etc.

My mom is willing, or shall I say dying,to take care of DS a couple days a week, which would probably be the days I'd go into the office for a half day.



That said, I have a neighbor who works from home with her two small children (under age 2). She also has a F/T nanny. She LOVES it.

DH and have been talking about this, he thinks I should consider getting a nanny at least for a day a week if I find things too stressful.

How well did your DC's adjust to you going back to work? Anyway to make the transition easier for him?

[kozachka]

I would not have been able to WOH with my DS when he was your DS age. In fact, I had to put him at daycare at 26-27 months just to find a job.

[niccig]

In February I picked up a 20 hour a week project for my old boss. DS is in school 8.45-2.45 5 days a week. Plenty of time to do the work, but I get distracted by putting a load of washing on, answering the phone, making this quick phone call, the bills need to be paid etc. I take the phone off the hook, DH knows to call my cell phone and I ignore all house work. The work needs 4-5 hours at a time, so I've blocked off days where I only work, and errands/house managing happens at other hours. I actually think I would be better if I left the house and worked from a coffee shop. So block off as much time as you can, ignore everything else during your work hours when you can, and maybe leave if you can to concentrate. I will say that I do love not having to commute somewhere and setting my own timetable.

[edurnemk]

As far as organizing your week, is it more practical to set a few hours each day for work, or work 2.5 - 3 full days, and have 2 days where you don't work?

I'm contemplating the following options, since I can pretty much set my own schedule, except for meetings. A lot of the work involves data analysis and developing proposals for clients, which can all be done from home at any hour.

Option 1: Have Monday, Wednesday and Friday (half day) be "work days". These are the days when the housekeeper-nanny will be coming to our house, I can take breaks to be with DS and not worry about chores. And dedicate Tuesday, Thursday and Friday afternoon fully to DS and a few errands. I'd possibly take him to toddler art class and swimming lessons on these days (or have my mom take him on the other days).

Option 2: Dedicate about half of my mornings and then nap time (2 hours) everyday to working. Afternoons for DS, errands, and DS's activities.

I think with either option I may end up doing some work during the evenings at times when I have a heavier workload, but I want to try to keep a structured schedule as much as possible.

Suggestions for any other options are welcome.

[slworld]

I WOH but even if I WAH I won't be able to get much done with a toddler (unless I have someone taking care of DS). I find Option 1 better since would give me a big chunk of time dedicated to either work or DS/other activities & errands.

[wellyes]

DEFINITELY option 1. No question in my mind. Having the ability to really dedicate some hours to work will make you a more efficient employee which is critical to part time employment. And days off to just spend with your kid is a glorious, glorious thing.

[edurnemk]

Thanks for all the advice!

I hope I can get back on track quickly, I feel a little disconnected after 2.5 years of not working, but I think I'm starting to overcome the mommy brain, LOL. It took me a while to organize my thoughts when I started out with my project today but everything's starting to come back to me ;)