how to explain this?? little tmi

[malphy]

I am on vacation and good old af called. There is no bathtub so dd has to shower with me. She saw the string from the tampon and wants to know what it is. For the firstime I am speechless. Anyone have an explanation i can give a 3 yr old ?

thank you

[m448]

Be honest and answer her questions. You could explain menstruation in full or just answer her questions as they come.

"That's a tampon"
"About once a month women bleed, it's called menses/period/menstruation"
"You will too when you grow up"
Heck you can even continue if she wishes into the ovulation territory. Now is the perfect time to have these conversations. She's not ashamed and it gives you a chance to get comfortable with the subject matter.

[newnana]

DD asked this once. I answered with the first thing that came to my head: Feminine Hygiene Product. She then proceeded to think it was hilarious that water was running down the walls of the shower and threw her washcloth up there. I agree, just answer whatever she asks and move on. No need to go into extra details, no need to lie. Keep it simple.

Now that I've moved on to the the Diva and DD is older we haven't had that issue for a while.

But I will say that when DD was about 12 months old her favorite pasttime while I was in the shower to keep her occupied was to hand her a giant Sam's sized box-o-tampons and let her pull them out, stack them up, refill the box. They were just the right size. And DH was appalled.

[hillview]

Be honest and answer her questions. You could explain menstruation in full or just answer her questions as they come.

"That's a tampon"
"About once a month women bleed, it's called menses/period/menstruation"
"You will too when you grow up"
Heck you can even continue if she wishes into the ovulation territory. Now is the perfect time to have these conversations. She's not ashamed and it gives you a chance to get comfortable with the subject matter.

Would you do the same for a boy (sorry to hijack).

OP I would likely have said something less specific but clearly I struggle with this.
/hillary

[MamaMolly]

I'd be straightforward and just explain. Up until I got pregnant DD knew that Mama preferred to have a little privacy in the bathroom if I had to 'change my pad'.

My mom never really talked about it and it was very uncomfortable as a tween when mine started. I didn't even tell her at first!

Normalize, normalize, normalize. GL and HTH!

[american_mama]

I have said something longer, although shorter is probably better, especially at your child's age. "Babies grow inside their mom's tummy and while they are there, they get all their food and air from extra blood inside. If there's no baby, the mom doesn't need the extra blood, so it comes out. It's normal and doesn't hurt." I just realized that does not answer anything about the tampon or pad - I don't think I've had to explain that, but it's easy to just say "This is a tampon that soaks up the extra blood and keeps my clothes clean" or something.

I think it's important to say it doesn't hurt, since bleeding and hurt are just about synonomous to a child.

[m448]

Would you do the same for a boy (sorry to hijack).

OP I would likely have said something less specific but clearly I struggle with this.
/hillary

I would and I have. My older boys 6 and 4 are aware that momma bleeds once a month (when I have a cycle). They've also been present at their siblings' births but I'm always mindful to respect when they begin to show a need for privacy (like my 6.5 year old has). I want it to be as normal for the boys as the girls.

I always knew about my mom's period. I was so looking forward to getting mine that when I finally did I jumped into the kitchen shrieking and my mom celebrated with me LOL. I knew women had hair and in various parts of their bodies and what a body that has given birth 3 times (by vertical c-section no less) looked like several years later. It really did a world of good for my body image as a woman.

[malphy]

Thanks, ladies!

I was just caught off guard, I don't have a hangup about talking about this kind of stuff. I guess I was so surprised and also at a loss because she is sharp as a tack and wont take a "bogus" answer.

My first repsonse was that it was a tampon but then i realized what we were talking about and just went blank.

she also does not forget anything so if I distrct her it will only be prolonging the inevitable. I am always honest with her about this kind of stuff buyt I don't want to freak her out

[m448]

No worries and you'll do well. My biggest fear with my first was that in his habit to talk up strangers would pick that topic and my body to speak about in public. LOL Then I realized he had plenty of fodder in our day to day to embarrass me with while speaking to a stranger so I let it it go and continued to speak to them.

[mamicka]

Would you do the same for a boy (sorry to hijack).

OP I would likely have said something less specific but clearly I struggle with this.
/hillary

I don't have girls. Yes, I've said the same kinds of things to my boys. They think it's funny just like anything to do with butts or "private areas" are funny. I'm definitely glad that I started talking about this stuff early. I was nervous the first couple times but I think it will be easier later because we started early.

[DrSally]

I was just contemplating posting the same question. DS has been asking "what's that red stuff" and "What's (tampon) that for? " I've been very vague, b/c I didn't know how to explain the blood wo/him getting worried. Good suggestions here. It's always a party in the bathroom, and I never get a moment alone, but I do try to be discrete.

[jgenie]

Great thread - we're not there yet but I'm sure it's just around the corner.



But I will say that when DD was about 12 months old her favorite pasttime while I was in the shower to keep her occupied was to hand her a giant Sam's sized box-o-tampons and let her pull them out, stack them up, refill the box. They were just the right size. And DH was appalled.

:rotflmao: For us it's pantiliners since they're in the drawer that isn't locked. So funny to see him stacking them.

[BelleoftheBallFlagstaff]

My DD says there is "plood", she is just starting to say "blood" in mommy's diaper. I told her when she is older she will get her period, too and that it means I can have a baby. At first she said your gachina is bleeding. Are you okay?

I am blunt, so I don't beat around the bush on things.

[MamaMolly]

...snip.... I am always honest with her about this kind of stuff buyt I don't want to freak her out

If you don't freak out, she won't freak out. ;) I think the more matter of fact you are the better.

[stillplayswithbarbies]

I started practicing these talks when my first (a boy) was an infant. You know how you keep up a stream of conversation all day long with the baby and they don't understand a word but you change your inflection and capture their attention with silly faces while you talk? Yeah. I practiced all the "birds and the bees" talks then before he could understand me so I would be comfortable later talking about it with him. It gave me a chance to practice what I wanted to say, and to get comfortable saying those words out loud.

That made it much easier to talk about condoms when the time came and discreetly leave a box in his bathroom.

[Globetrotter]

My kids found my pads ("diapers") early on, and I just told them (in a matter-of-fact tone) that women get a little bleeding once a month and this helps them grow babies. It doesn't hurt and it's very normal. If you are calm about it, they won't think anything of it.

This is important to me because I didn't know what my period was when I first got it, so I want them to know it's just a normal part of life.

[jenmcadams]

Kind of a highjack:

My DD is a big questioner and knows a lot about the facts of life, but has no clue about menstruation (she's 7). I have a Mirena IUD (and plan to get another one in a few months( and don't menstruate at all (one of the big pluses about the Mirena for me :)). I'm already starting to think about introducing the concept to her in the next year or two and trying to decide how I'll explain why Mommy doesn't menstruate. Besides a small package of panty liners/tampons on a top shelf in our linen closet (for emergencies/guests), there are bi feminine hygiene products in our house...