If you are not religious...

[citymama]

...then how do you explain or not explain the concept of God or religion to your kids? DD is 4 and the other day I realized this kid has never heard the word "God" to the best of my knowledge! Not sure if she has at daycare or from friends who are being raised more religious. We're not religious, nor are we atheists - I guess we are just not religiously observant. We were raised with 3 different religious backgrounds between us. We celebrate holidays in a secular, cultural (well, somewhat pagan!) way - including holidays that neither of us celebrated as a kid but which DD's friends observe. Neither of us has been to a place of worship in eons, other than for friends' weddings, baptisms or bar mitzvahs, or as tourist destinations.

I'd like to have a pro-active approach to either discussing the concept of religion and God with DD or addressing it when she has questions. If you're an atheist or non-religious, at what age did you do this with your kid - or did you not? When did they start asking about God? And what did you say?

I was dragged off to religious events and places of worship as a kid, and to be honest, had a pretty fearful concept of God as a kid because everything seemed so mysterious and unknown, and I had to be quiet and never question prayers or rituals. Well, I don't want my DD having that kind of unquestioning or fearful concept of religion, but at the same time, want her to know about our religious backgrounds (and that of others), so she can have a respectful attitude to religious practices/observances and also so she does not feel deprived of something that her friends share with their families. But as someone who is uncomfortable with organized religion, I'm not sure where to begin! Should I just wait until the questions start to crop up? What have you done?

[GaPeach_in_Ca]

We've discussed it for several years (DS is 5-1/2 now). It came up because he had friends from daycare telling him about their idea of God, so it seemed natural to address it.

We don't believe in a God, so that is pretty easy to explain, IMO. We told him some people do and that's fine, but we don't.

[egoldber]

I think this was discussed not too long ago? Perhaps in the context of Christmas?

Anyway, like the PP, we explain what some people believe and then what we believe (which in our case is nothing) but that all people's beliefs should be treated with respect.

[SnuggleBuggles]

Mainly we say "some people believe X" and we share a bit about what we know. I then handle specific questions as they come while trying to be fair but not really preaching any sort of religion. Dh and I were both raised in Christian based faiths so we are comfortable talking about that.

Beth

[elektra]

We have done it through books.
My dad who is a Wayne Dyer fan got this book for DD.
http://www.amazon.com/Incredible-Ways-greatness-shine-through/dp/1401907822
She loves it. It's like a kids version of his books for adults. There is mention of God there, saying something about how we are all connected and God is always there too....
It shows big shadowy outstretched hands.
Wayne Dyer might not be your thing ( I didn't think it was my thing actually) but it works for us. And from what I gathered in your post, you want to start mentioning God, and what you think about God in general. If you do believe in God but are not necessarily religious (like me) this book touches on the subject in an appropriate way, IMO.

[WatchingThemGrow]

Between a Church and a Hard Place (http://www.amazon.com/Between-Church-Hard-Place-Faith-Free/dp/1583333711/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1269561829&sr=1-1): One Faith-Free Father’s Struggle to Understand What it Means to be Religious (or Not) is a book recently written by a man whose kids (I believe) go to our neighborhood school. Haven't read it, don't know anything about it, but I thought I'd pass it on. I can't help answer your question, though, because we are Christians and hope to raise our children so that they come to know Christ the same way we do.

[daphne]

We have done it through books.
My dad who is a Wayne Dyer fan (7 habit of highly effective people) got this book for DD.


Off-topic, but didn't Daniel Covey write the 7 Habits book? I loved that book, fwiw, which is why this caught my eye...unless it's a different book than the one I'm thinking of...

[kerridean]

http://www.amazon.com/Parenting-Beyond-Belief-Raising-Religion/dp/0814474268/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1269564216&sr=8-1

This book, and it's companion, Raising Freethinkers: BEYOND FABULOUS. I cannot recommend them enough.

[kijip]

Off-topic, but didn't Daniel Covey write the 7 Habits book? I loved that book, fwiw, which is why this caught my eye...unless it's a different book than the one I'm thinking of...

Almost. Stephen Covey. :)

[PAfirsttimemom]

Mainly we say "some people believe X" and we share a bit about what we know. I then handle specific questions as they come while trying to be fair but not really preaching any sort of religion. Dh and I were both raised in Christian based faiths so we are comfortable talking about that.

Beth

:yeahthat:

[KrystalS]

I'm so glad you posted this because I have a similar situation so not meaning to hijack your post but I have a question in regards to this topic. My DH and I are not religious but my family is very religious. I grew up going to church, well forced to go, it was never my choice. I think this is why as an adult I chose not to go.
My problem is that all my family members, especially grandparents are very religious and very vocal about their beliefs. My DD is very close to my grandparents, her great-grandparents. They always tell her things about God, church, etc. It's not that I don't want her to know about these things but I feel like she is only 6 and she is just going to believe what she is told, she isn't really old enough to have her own view on the topic.
I feel very uncomfortable when she asks me questions about God. Not that I don't want to tell her but she would repeat this to other family members and thats just a door I do not want to open.
Anyone else in this situation? How do you deal with it? DH thinks I need to stand up to my family and tell them to stop talking to DD about their religion. But they are older, they are set in their beliefs and honestly what I say isn't going to make a difference. DD is really close to them and I don't want anything to come between that because honestly they probably won't be here for that much longer.
My mom is religious as well but I think without me saying it she knows how I feel about the topic and she tends to just stay away from the topic.

[elektra]

Off-topic, but didn't Daniel Covey write the 7 Habits book? I loved that book, fwiw, which is why this caught my eye...unless it's a different book than the one I'm thinking of...

Gah! I am not up to speed on the self- help gurus! The kids book is by Wayne Dyer. But you are right in that he did not write the 7 habits book. That is by Covey.
Dyer wrote 10 steps to something or other.

[pinkmomagain]

Mainly we say "some people believe X" and we share a bit about what we know.

This is pretty much what we've done.

[Carrots]

Thanks for this post. DD is only 21 months, but I have wondered how to approach the concept since we are non-religious.