need parenting book suggestions

[skohng]

hi all, i want to read some books that deal with:

1. how to manage sibling rivalry
2. how to raise "sensitive" children
3. how to raise boys

lol. reading that list is pretty hilarious. i need help.

[edurnemk]

2. how to raise "sensitive" children


I'm currently reading "Positive Discipline" by Jane Nelsen. I think that one may address #2. I only have one kid, so I have no suggestions for #1, and I don't know any specific books for raising boys. But I am liking Positive Discipline.

There was a really good thread on parenting books a few months back, if you do a search it might come up.

[DietCokeLover]

Here is a suggestion for the raising boys one. I don't know how you feel about Dr. Dobson, but I thought this was a good book. Sometimes it got too into research for me, but I skipped around and found some good info.

http://www.amazon.com/Bringing-Up-Boys-James-Dobson/dp/0842322973

[Tracey]

Discipline for Life : Getting it Right with Children by Madelyn Swift is hands down the best parenting book I've ever read. After I read this one, I have never needed to read another.

[skohng]

thanks everyone! keep them coming! I'll do a search for the other thread too.

I read "how to talk so kids will listen", and I noticed the same author wrote "Siblings without rivalry". has anyone read that?


ds1 is almost 5 years old and my "sensitive" one; extremely perceptive, analytical, early reader, perfectionist, hard on himself, etc etc...

ds2 is 2 years old and a different animal; very physical, not yet fully verbal of course, aggressive, etc. it ends up that ds2 "bullies" ds1 and I catch myself excusing ds2 because he's still younger, and of course that causes all sorts of problems.

[Katigre]

hi all, i want to read some books that deal with:

1. how to manage sibling rivalry
2. how to raise "sensitive" children
3. how to raise boys

lol. reading that list is pretty hilarious. i need help.

1. Siblings Without Rivalry: How to Help Your Children Live Together So You Can Live Too ~ Adele Faber (http://www.amazon.com/Siblings-Without-Rivalry-Children-Together/dp/0380799006/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1269576739&sr=8-1)

2. Dealing with Disappointment: Helping Kids Cope When Things Don't Go Their Way ~ Elizabeth Crary (http://www.amazon.com/Dealing-Disappointment-Helping-Things-Their/dp/1884734758/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1269576776&sr=1-1)

Plus, Huge list of discipline books that would fit under this category (http://www.gentlechristianmothers.com/community/showthread.php?t=210121)

3. Here is what came up on an amazon search of 'raising boys': Search Results (http://www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_sb_noss?url=search-alias%3Dus-stripbooks-tree&field-keywords=raising+boys&x=0&y=0). I'm not generally a fan of Dr. Dobson but have heard from even gentle discipline parents that Bringing Up Boys was decent, it was more focused on affirming the way boys naturally are and supporting them than anything discipline-focused (but don't take my word for it as I haven't read the book, just been surprised when moms who are very critical of his other stuff said that book was better so maybe it has some helpful stuff in this area).

[Katigre]

Oh! I forgot my favorite parenting book of all time: Nurture by Nature (http://www.amazon.com/Nurture-Nature-Responsible-Children-Personality/dp/0316845132/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1269577125&sr=1-1).

LOVE LOVE LOVE this book and it really fits with any style of parenting/discipline. It's all about understanding your child's unique personality and how to best parent and support them as they grow through different developmental stages.

[maestramommy]

The recs I've heard about are:

Siblings without Rivalry
Raising your Spirited Child
Raising Cain. By Michael Thompson. He might actually have written another book on boys. I think he's great.

"How To Talk" is a great book. But for me it might be useful when my kids are a little older.

[egoldber]

Definitely Siblings without Rivalry and How to Talk. I think your 5 year old is getting old enough that the stuff in How to Talk will work.


ds1 is almost 5 years old and my "sensitive" one; extremely perceptive, analytical, early reader, perfectionist, hard on himself, etc etc...

My older DD is like this. She was a relatively easy infant and toddler, but her elementary school years have about killed me LOL!! :ROTFLMAO: It is such a hard line to walk between recognizing and affirming their emotions but at the same time not feeding their perfectionism and insecurities. Also, be aware that perfectionism and being very analytical like that are often early signs of anxiety.

Dealing with Disappointment I was kind of meh about, but it does have good stuff in it.

[skohng]

Also, be aware that perfectionism and being very analytical like that are often early signs of anxiety.



Hm...i've been thinking about this. Who can I talk to about this? Do I bring this concern up with the pediatrician?

[bigsis]

I have read both Siblings without Rivalry and Bringing Up Boys. I loved both books!

[wolverine2]

Agree on Siblings Without Rivalry

2 boy book suggestions:

Real Boys, by William Pollack, and The Way of Boys, by Anthony Rao. I've attended seminars with both of them and they were both excellent.

[Katigre]

Hm...i've been thinking about this. Who can I talk to about this? Do I bring this concern up with the pediatrician?
As someone who dealt with anxiety as a child and still does as an adult (but i'm better able to manage it now), I don't know that a pediatrician would help. I would be very watchful of anxiety behaviors and thought patterns in my child. Do you deal with anxiety yourself? It's easier for me to know how to help DS because I remember what it was like for me as a kid, but it's harder to explain if you haven't been there.

[skohng]

As someone who dealt with anxiety as a child and still does as an adult (but i'm better able to manage it now), I don't know that a pediatrician would help. I would be very watchful of anxiety behaviors and thought patterns in my child. Do you deal with anxiety yourself? It's easier for me to know how to help DS because I remember what it was like for me as a kid, but it's harder to explain if you haven't been there.

yeah, i figured a ped wouldn't be the best resource.

I guess "anxiety" is such a broad spectrum so I'm not even sure if that's something I have/have had in the past. I was definitely "sensitive" growing up, liked to read the dictionary instead of playing with dolls, was extremely shy... but those are things i think i've come to manage. i feel like the fact that ds1 is a boy adds another layer of difficulty.

I don't know. What do I know? What was I doing thinking I could raise another human being?? lol.

Thanks for all the boy book suggestions everyone. I agree with Dr. Dobson in core belief but not always in practice, but I've picked up Bringing Up Boys several times and thought it looked promising.

Would Sibs Without Rivalry be helpful if one child is still not fully verbal?

[Katigre]

Would Sibs Without Rivalry be helpful if one child is still not fully verbal?
Yes, because it's more about how you as a parent manage siblings than about what the siblings specifically do.

[erosenst]

I don't have a son - but someone I respect a lot suggests Raising Cain. http://www.amazon.com/dp/0345434854/ref=sc_vs_google_raising_cain Looks like it gets really good reviews.