What do do when discipline is fun?

[dtim]

I posted this over on the toddler side, but it doesn't look like it's as busy over there as here so I'm hoping someone can help...

My 2-year old is really a good kid so it hasn't been too often that we've needed to discipline him. But lately he has started hitting his nanny (and his Dad sometimes too) whenever he is frustrated... or really whenever he just feels like it, I think to get a response. He understands that it's not nice and says he's sorry right away, but keeps doing it. We feel like he should learn that there is a consequence connected to his actions--and hitting definitely isn't acceptable behavior.

We tried a time-out seat, but he just laughs and gets right back out. (In fact, if we ask him if he wants a time out, he says yes because he finds it so funny.) We tried putting him in his crib for time-out and closing the door, which made him cry the first few times, but now he knows we're coming back in so he just sits there waiting for us, often laughing. Should I try taking away a toy for bad behavior, or is he too young for that?

How do you discipine a smart toddler with a sense of humor??? I have no idea what else to try...

[hillview]

Take a toy away. There will be other more gentle suggestions as well. Talk it out. Talk to him about gentle touches. Offer him suggestions on what he CAN do when he feels angry etc.
/hillary

[MoJo]

I'll be watching this thread, because DD hits ME way too often. Usually by that time, she's just thrown whatever toy she was playing with in frustration, and I can't imagine that taking a random toy would help. (I just refuse to pick up what she just threw, which is when she starts hitting me.)

She doesn't yet say she's sorry. The only thing that sort of works is saying "you don't hit mommy, you hug mommy." because she will immediately hug me and not hit any more during that moment of frustration. However, that definitely doesn't keep her from hitting next time. . . and at 22 months, I don't know if she's even capable of "thinking before she acts" when she feels so strongly about something.

[SnuggleBuggles]

Good advice above. I just wanted to suggest not using the crib as a time out spot b/c you don't want the crib to have a negative association or you could introduce sleep issues.

I have a 2yo too and usually if he hits we remind him that hitting hurts and to use gentle touches.

Beth

[dtim]

Thanks for the suggestions! Good point about the crib-- although so far it's fun to have time out in there, so no issues yet....

Such a frustrating issue because he does know it's bad. Sometimes when I leave I'll ask him to be a good boy while I'm gone and he'll actually say to me "Baby not hit anybody, Mama". And he does immediately apologize... so we're working on better verbal ways to express frustration rather than hitting which does seem to help a little bit.

Usually the hitting is not associated with a temper tantrum (we're lucky that those are very few), it is usually while playing with something that he thinks we may want to take away. So maybe we will try time-out for his toys instead of himself, because that seems to be more of a punishment...

Any other ideas most welcome!!!!

[SnuggleBuggles]

Be careful with the "good" boy/ "bad" boy thing- behaviors can be good or bad but it can be a problem to label the child. More of an issue with the bad.

GL with this! Toddlers sure can be trying! One thing left to try is to see if he is hungry or tired when this behavior peaks. Sometimes sleep and/ or food can really improve mood and behavior!

Beth