Do you get involved?

[eda]

My husbands family belongs on Maury, they are nuts. He has spent the last two hours responding to an e-mail his uncles wife sent him. I really what to e-mail her and tell her to leave us alone. She has caused so much pain for his family with her crazy drama and her even crazier 16 year old daughter. Although my DH did start it my e-mailing his uncle after reading posts the 16 year old posted on his uncles public facebook page.

[jenfromnj]

My DH has an insane family too, so I can sympathize. But I try my best to stay out of the craziness at all costs--at least in my case, the ILs are not rational and no good will come of my trying to help and it will certainly not be appreciated or well-received, even if I am truly trying to help them without any benefit to myself.

[pinkmomagain]

I stay out of it.

[MamaMolly]

When you grow up in a high drama family it can be hard not to get sucked into it, even from a distance. Ask me now I know ;). DH does a pretty good job at allowing me to vent, but doesn't really butt in except to support my statements of needing/wanting a bit of distance. His distance helps me keep one step back, IYKWIM. Where it gets messy is when he starts to join in the fray and I feel like I have to defend the nuts.

IIWY I'd encourage your DH to explore his feelings before he gets involved. It is fair to tell him you don't like to see him upset like this. It sounds like he is neck deep and kind of just reacting at this point. What might help is if he were able to step back a little, focus on what he hopes to gain by engaging in the drama (but I'd call it something else!) and then help him plan a course to get there.

Your DH probably really values that you are not into all this drama. Offer to be his sounding board, support him, and let him know you are on his side. But I don't see what you'd gain by participating directly.

[mamicka]

When you grow up in a high drama family it can be hard not to get sucked into it, even from a distance. Ask me now I know ;). DH does a pretty good job at allowing me to vent, but doesn't really butt in except to support my statements of needing/wanting a bit of distance. His distance helps me keep one step back, IYKWIM. Where it gets messy is when he starts to join in the fray and I feel like I have to defend the nuts.

IIWY I'd encourage your DH to explore his feelings before he gets involved. It is fair to tell him you don't like to see him upset like this. It sounds like he is neck deep and kind of just reacting at this point. What might help is if he were able to step back a little, focus on what he hopes to gain by engaging in the drama (but I'd call it something else!) and then help him plan a course to get there.

Your DH probably really values that you are not into all this drama. Offer to be his sounding board, support him, and let him know you are on his side. But I don't see what you'd gain by participating directly.

Molly, these are very wise words. :yeahthat::yeahthat::yeahthat: