UPDATE: Do we need EI?

[elektra]

DS had been making some great progress since I first posted this. He started doing a sort of army crawl and can now hold himself up standing, if we get him in that position. I still called the EI number (thanks Melinda!) as soon as I got back from my trip though, and they told me that there was a free screening through some program today, and I took DS.
Well he is not doing as well as I thought apparently. :(
They gave him a "fail" on the gross motor skills and he is behind in everything else except hearing, emotional health, and general health. So speech/language, fine motor and vision are all behind, but still within the range of normal. They said I need to follow up with an optometrist. DH has glasses an inch thick so this isn't a shocker but just another bummer that I was hoping we could avoid.
I realize I was just in denial about where DS should be by now. It was so weird because I was so hesitant to take him, and made up all these excuses for myself. I'm really glad I did follow through now, and we will now have the PT come to the house to do the more in- depth assessment. So it is actually possible that he won't need therapy but at this point I hope he does qualify because he does need the help. He still cannot get to a sitting position on his own or pull himself up to standing. The therapist at the place we went this morning also said he had low muscle tone.
They were all very nice, and again, I'm glad I went.

I am now thinking maybe I need to get DD checked out now too, even though her 3-year well check was fine. I'm just doubting everything!




------------------------------
I thought DS would be crawling by now, but he's not and I'm wondering if I should get him evaluated. Eleven months was the cutoff that our ped gave me for DD before recommending EI. She ended up crawling a week before the 11 months.
But DS is now 11 months and still no crawling.
I happened to take DS to the dr. yesterday for a cold, and I asked the ped what she thought. At first she said no he didn't need it, but then she asked:
Does he get into a crawl position and rock? No
Does he pull himself up? No
(Something else I can't remember) No

After I answered with all of those no's she kind of went, "hmmmmmmm, well let's wait till he's a year."

I also never crawled I'm told.

I'm wondering what they do exactly in the eval. Anyone care to share?
DS can roll around and scoot backwards a bit on the hardwood. But he cannot get onto all fours. He can't get off of his tummy.
He is also very wobbly and can't stand on his own, although he really wants to.

I actually feel like he's going to be fine though. Am I just in denial?

[arivecchi]

He sounds a lot like DS2 who is still in EI. I'd get the eval. done if you are worried. Feel free to contact me offline if you want to discuss.

[JBaxter]

Get the evaluation. If he doesnt need services thats great. If he does qualify you have done the right thing and got the ball rolling early. Its a win win either way.

[sidmand]

I always feel that if you have a question, there is no harm in getting the EI evaluation done. It can either alleviate your worries or give you lots of constructive help. It's a win-win situation.

It is very hard to do though and I don't mean to sound flippant. And I've done it for two kids now and it was especially hard when calling regarding DD and I thought it would be easier having been through it before.

[sidmand]

Get the evaluation. If he doesnt need services thats great. If he does qualify you have done the right thing and got the ball rolling early. Its a win win either way.

We were writing at the same time with almost exactly the same advice :)

[JBaxter]

Ive BTDT also. Usually if your momma sense says you need to have the evaluation you need to call. I looked at it with Nathan that I wanted early help to get him up to speed for school. It worked for us. Our EI teacher was awesome and we had in home therapy from 24 months to 36 months then at school till 4 1/2. ( nathan only needed speech but had the full evaluation)

[elektra]

I think part of my hesitation is also because if he does need help, I'll feel bad I didn't get it done sooner.
I kept thinking, "oh he'll be fine, he'll be fine", and not doing the eval. But I probably should have taken him in a month ago.

Not a good reason to keep putting it off though, I know!

[JustMe]

I would definitely request an eval. You are still in the "sooner" category of sooner rather than later, and I can see why you have waited until this point especially given your dd's history, so I dont think you have anything to feel bad about.

As far as what they do, this may vary regionally, but you will probably have some sort of screening where they ask questions about ds' development (this is frequently done by phone where I live at least) and if they think you should go further during the actual eval they would have him do some tasks to see where he is.

[Leeannpk]

I don't think it could hurt to have the eval - but I also don't think it sounds like he's too far behind the ball. Will he bear weight on his legs if you pull him into a standing position on your lap? How are his fine motor skills (like his pincer grasp)? Is he babbling at all?

Sometimes a baby will lag behind in one area while developing quickly in other areas. DD #2 didn't roll over until she was 11 months. She never crawled, but at 15 months she stood up and walked clear across the room on her first try. She was always ahead in other areas, though, and had good muscle tone in her arms and legs, so the missing gross motor skills were not so alarming.

The eval might put your kind at ease, so it would be 100% worth it for that!

[hillview]

I'd call. I agree you feel bad if you wait (btdt).
/hillary

[khalloc]

Sorry, it kind of irks me when people think babies HAVE to crawl. Not that you said that, but EI for not crawling?!? My DD didnt crawl until 2 weeks after her 1st birthday. Then she walked at 15 months. She just wasnt a big mover. She got around by "scooting" on her butt.

DS crawled about 2-4 weeks before his first birthday. He walked at about 15 months also.

I wouldn't call EI for my child if they were not crawling by 11 months. Crawling isnt even considered a milestone anymore.

[hillview]

Sorry, it kind of irks me when people think babies HAVE to crawl. Not that you said that, but EI for not crawling?!? My DD didnt crawl until 2 weeks after her 1st birthday. Then she walked at 15 months. She just wasnt a big mover. She got around by "scooting" on her butt.

DS crawled about 2-4 weeks before his first birthday. He walked at about 15 months also.

I wouldn't call EI for my child if they were not crawling by 11 months. Crawling isnt even considered a milestone anymore.

I think the concern was it wasn't just crawling. It was pulling up and something else.
/hillary

[JBaxter]

and going from sitting to crawling position.

[mamicka]

I don't think it's such a big issue that he's not crawling. But not getting on all fours or pulling up could indicate a problem. Also could be nothing. Having called for 2 of my boys for speech issues, I'd call. I don't think there's any down-side.

[Jo..]

When in doubt, check it out. That's my little rhymey mantra when it comes to kiddos.

[ourbabygirl]

:yeahthat:

You'll feel relieved having an appt. set up and done... I had DD evaluated around 13 or 14 months because she wasn't walking (she was also a late crawler; started around 10 months or so but I thought it would never happen). They ended up doing the speech one (which I didn't necessarily think she needed) first, and having us set up the physical ('walking') one after, but she ended up walking before we had that appt. so I cancelled it.
It's good to have the appt. made, at least, especially if they're short on staff or you don't have many openings to meet with them; you could end up waiting a long time and wondering and fretting even more in the meantime.

Good luck and keep us updated! :grouphug:

[happymom]

Yup, I'd call. DD gets PT thru EI. She was evaluated at a younger age than your DS is now, but the evaluator will just play with your DS and see what his gross motor skills are up to. She'll put toys out of reach and see how he tries to reach them, she'll put him into different positions and see what he does etc. She'll probably take off his pants and socks so she can see his legs and feet well while he moves. She'll check different muscles and things like that.

Good luck!

[sunshine873]

DD has being watched by EI because she's a preemie. They started PT right around her 1st birthday because she wasn't crawling yet. But like PPs have said, it's not the actual crawling that they're concerned about, it's the motor/muscle control that allows them to crawl.

My DD was referred by her Drs, so I didn't have to contact EI - they called me. But the initial phone call was lots of questions and they set up a home visit for her assessment. The assessment consisted of lots of questions and playing with/examining DD to see where she was at. They gave me their recommendations and then we set up her therapy from there.

It sounds like you're already leaning towards it. I've been nothing but thrilled with our entire EI experience. They're completely professional, come right to our house, and I like having someone else that's closely watching DDs progress. It almost takes some of the weight off my shoulders, because there's someone I can discuss those developmental things with every week. Give them a call. Yeah, maybe he'll just figure it all out on his own one week after they come. But what are you out then...just a little time. No biggie.

[gatorsmom]

Greenbean wasn't sitting up at his 9month well baby. The ped suggested calling and I thought it was a good idea too. He was evaluated and qualified for physical therapy. The therapist was great and Greenbean totally looked forward to the hour she spent with him. We were all thrilled when he made so much progress that he graduated out of the program at 6months. Well, Greanbean wasn't so thrilled. :tongue5:

I say go for it. It can't hurt and if he needs it, it's best to get him help earlier rather than later.

[Jo..]

totally different but same concerns that all of us mommies have...both my kiddos were speech delayed. DS qualified, had a year of speech therapy, and now speaks more clearly (and more often) than any other 3 year old I know!

DD did NOT qualify, but she was far ahead in most other areas and now at 20 months has suddenly gone from no words to complete sentences. It was somewhat of a relief to get her evaluated, even though she was showing a speech delay of several months, because I was told that all the signs were there for a language explosion...and they were right.

It will either put your mind at ease, or you will get the services that DS might need. If you tell me where you live, I will even find your local EI # for you ;).

[arivecchi]

According to our EI therapists, crawling is very important as it develops their core muscles and helps them master positions that they cannot master with walking. I have seen it myself. DS2 could stand, walk with assistance at 9-10 months, but was super stiff and did not know how to move very well. With EI therapy, he started crawling at 12 months and the quality of his movement has improved greatly. I would not dismiss the inability to crawl, especially when paired with other signs of delay.

[mom2binsd]

DD wasn't crawling at her 1st birthday, we were nervous, ped said wait a bit, she was speaking almost in sentences so very verbal, and content to sit in one place....we pushed, started with xrays at a children's hospital to check things out...that was a Friday (and 250 deductible...she crawled across the living room on Saturday)....if you're comfortable I'd wait, many children are late crawlers or don't crawl at all, JMO though.

[sewarsh]

Just wait until 12 mo. sounds like your kids are just late movers. like mine:

DD: crawled at 10 mo, walked at 16.5 mo.
DS: crawled at 11.5 mo, walked at 18.5 mo.

both are completely fine and "normal" now (age 3.5 & 19.5 mo)

[maestramommy]

Elektra, just wanted to tell you that CA has some top notch services when it comes to EI. With recent budget cuts, it is harder to get services than in the past (our former SLP and I are still in touch), so I would call sooner than later. Here's a link to your local Regional Center:

http://www.dds.ca.gov/rc/rc368.cfm

You don't need a ped referral, you can just call.

[AnnieW625]

You really have to do what you think is best, but some kids may not just be crawlers. My mom said I scooted a bit, but never really crawled and then once I figured out I could walk on my own at about 15 months I just did it. Just stood up one day and never looked back. DD kind of did the same thing as far as walking goes wanted nothing to do with it until she could do it on her own (and pretty much every other little milestone she's ever had). She finally walked well on her own at almost 17 mos. old (she did crawl at almost 9 mos. old).

We to used a Regional Center for DD's speech therapy and they were great (we used Harbor Regional Center, the LA County counterpart of the one that MaestraMommy posted). I just filled out the form online and they called me back and then set up an initial eval. . I was soo thankful for them as it would've been uber expensive for us to afford private speech therapy on our own.

[elektra]

Thanks for all of the info. Melinda that link will be helpful- thank you! I think I am going to set something up.

[arivecchi]

Thanks for all of the info. Melinda that link will be helpful- thank you! I think I am going to set something up. Shouldn't you be having pina coladas? :tongue5:

[elektra]

Update in original post.

[ThreeofUs]

Good for you! Well done calling and then taking DS to see the EI folks!!

[MamaMolly]

That is a really great update. I'm so glad you found the help your sweet little one needed, and had the strength and courage to ask for it in the first place. Denial is normal, I went thorough something similar with DD1's food allergies (I tried to convince myself it was a rash from her pacifier ??? and not hives around her mouth. How's *that* for denial?) but once I got over the denial I was full steam ahead for helping DD work through and live with it. Sounds like you are already there! :)

[bubbaray]

Well, its not the exact news you were probably hoping for, but you have a plan and I'm sure everything will turn out fine.

:hug:

[AnnieW625]

DS had been making some great progress since I first posted this. He started doing a sort of army crawl and can now hold himself up standing, if we get him in that position. I still called the EI number (thanks Melinda!) as soon as I got back from my trip though, and they told me that there was a free screening through some program today, and I took DS.
Well he is not doing as well as I thought apparently. :(
They gave him a "fail" on the gross motor skills and he is behind in everything else except hearing, emotional health, and general health. So speech/language, fine motor and vision are all behind, but still within the range of normal. They said I need to follow up with an optometrist. DH has glasses an inch thick so this isn't a shocker but just another bummer that I was hoping we could avoid.
I realize I was just in denial about where DS should be by now. It was so weird because I was so hesitant to take him, and made up all these excuses for myself. I'm really glad I did follow through now, and we will now have the PT come to the house to do the more in- depth assessment. So it is actually possible that he won't need therapy but at this point I hope he does qualify because he does need the help. He still cannot get to a sitting position on his own or pull himself up to standing. The therapist at the place we went this morning also said he had low muscle tone.
They were all very nice, and again, I'm glad I went.

I am now thinking maybe I need to get DD checked out now too, even though her 3-year well check was fine. I'm just doubting everything!


You can't let yourself think that you guys did anything wrong. Kids develop at all different speeds. I had a child who I thought would never talk and to make matters worse was very shy so even though she knew some words you would've thought she was mute. Best thing I ever did was keep an open mind and get her tested. I am glad that you took DS and got some sort of diagnosis and who knows maybe the optometrist is the first step and that could make things a whole lot better. DH is competitive by nature and just last week he told me recently that the best thing he ever did when DD was having her speech issues 1 and 2 yrs. ago was to not compare her to anyone as at that time as some of DD's little friends could complete sentences, say their ABCs, and knew their parents first names or phone numbers or something crazy that we had no clue any 2 yr. old would know. DD now has glasses too (just like DH and we kind of expected that) and our next step is a referral to an opthamologist to make sure she doesn't have a lazy eye. Kids are an adventure and you just have to look at it that way! Good luck!

[sunshine873]

I understand you're disappointed, but give yourself a pat on the back for following through. Now he can get help before any of it becomes a long-term problem! DD had a really hard time getting to sitting up on her own, pulling up, etc. Low muscle tone...just like you mentioned in your update. A lot of that I just would have brushed off if it wasn't for EI. Her therapists have really made a difference for her and in teaching us what to do to help her. :) It'll pay off and someday you'll be watching him cruising along the furniture like my DD is now.

[hillview]

Nice job mama! It is hard but soooo great to get involved as early as you are! Nice work.

DS qualified for verbal skills and after 3 months was back on track!
/hillary

[JoyNChrist]

I'm sorry that you didn't get the news/reassurance you were hoping for, but HUGE pats on the back for taking him in! So many parents just expect these issues to correct themselves and don't give their children the opportunities and help they could really use (something we're actually dealing with in our family right now).

Now that y'all are being proactive and taking advantage of the resources available to you, I'm sure he'll be caught up in no time. Way to go mama! :hug:

[lmh2402]

i'm sorry you're feeling in doubt - but clearly you're doing some great parenting!! your DS is lucky you guys are so on top of his needs!

we're having our EI next week - thanks to the suggestions of this board - and i'm a little nervous too. but no matter the outcome, i see it as a win

[maestramommy]

I'm glad you had the screen done. Best thing now is that he will get the services sooner than later. I had heard it's harder to get services in CA now because of budget, but I'm very glad they came through for you. Don't worry, all the sessions will be fun for your DS. :hug5:

[arivecchi]

Elektra, I know how you are feeling. It is scary to think that something could be wrong with one's DC, but trust me, the therapies will do your DS a world of good. You should have seen my DS. He was not even sitting unassisted at 9 months. A week after therapy, he was sitting. He was stiff as a board, would not bend his legs or even roll on the floor. At 12 months, he started crawling. He now crawls like a spider and is constantly going up and down stairs. His improvement has been remarkable. Don't feel bad. You did the right thing for your DS and now he will get the help he needs to put him back on track. Hugs and good job! :grouphug: