What to do with DD who likes to stay up late?

[mommysammi]

DD is almost three years old. She takes one mid-afternoon nap that last from 1-2 hours and wakes up around 3-4pm. Everyone is in bed by 7pm and usually asleep by 8pm except me. DD falls asleep around 10pm and wakes up at 7am. She gets plenty of sleep. Even on days when she skips a nap, she doesn't fall asleep until 10pm.

Is this normal? She seems to be functioning normally, no tired or cranky behaviors. If it is normal, should i just let her play until 10pm? I feel bad for making her stay in bed if she can't fall asleep. I don't want to start letting her play in bed because I want her to associate bed with sleeping, not playing.

Please help. Thanks!

[lalasmama]

La did this at about 3 years old as well. I assumed it was normal beause I was working, and so she would stay up later to spend more time with me. (Aaahhhh, how sweet, even XH wouldn't do that!).... but then someone pointed out that she didn't know any different than staying up that late, and that, as mom, it was my job to make her go to bed at a reasonable hour that would allow me some kid-free time too.

Interestingly, as I moved her bedtime back, she started sleeping in later. So, we had to start from 11pm, then 10:30, then 10:00, and so on. She had been sleeping 8 hours or so, but when all was said and done, she was a much happier child when she was at 12 hours. Even now, at 6 years old, she needs 12+ hours of sleep to have a good day.

If you or her *needs* that afternoon nap, maybe you could make it a little earlier? My mom did daycare for 30 years, and the rule was always that the kids needed to be up by 2:45pm so that it wouldn't interfere with evenings at home.

Part of me wonders how much extra attention she is getting for being a "night owl"? Special alone time with mommy when everyone else is sleeping would be a fair reason for most kids to attempt to stay up! And at 3, most kids are positive that there's a party going on as soon as she goes to bed.... and by talking to her, chatting with her, letting her play, etc., she may be thinking that she was right--that staying up late gets all kinds of not-okay-during-the-day special things.

I won't lie. I hated every moment of making La go to bed earlier and earily because I wanted that special quiet time with her. But the trade-off, a truly well rested kiddo, was worth it.

[BelleoftheBallFlagstaff]

My DD's (will be 3 in a few weeks) schedule is this-
up between 9-10
nap 3-6
bed between 9-10.

No matter how I try, I have never been able to change this. Pre-school will be a RUDE awakening!

[mommy111]

Is there an reason to wake her up earlier? If not, I would let her sleep late but that's just me. I enjoyed the extra time with DD at night as well as the ability to get things done before she work up in the AM. As long as she gets her hours in.
The bottom line is, it will be a struggle now or later (when she goes to preschool) to get her to wake earlier. I chose to have the struggle later because, at that time, DD was better able to understand what the struggle was about and there was much less of a struggle and more of a discussion on why she needed to go to bed earlier.

[wellyes]

I have noticed my DD goes to be earlier and easier now that it's Spring and she spends almost all day VERY actively playing (running around vs reading / crafts etc). Getting her very tuckered out might help.

[egoldber]

Well, if it were me, I would consider eliminating the nap.

[hillview]

At 2.25 we dropped the nap and DS2 started going to bed at 7.
/hillary

[fivi2]

Well, if it were me, I would consider eliminating the nap.

:yeahthat:

We dropped nap as soon as bedtimes started creeping later.

[melissaflorida]

My dd is now 6 and has always been to bed by 7pm. With naps or without. In our situation, she fell right asleep and wakes at 7am.

Now that she is in K she most days is in bed at 6:30 on school nights but definitely no later than 7.

~Melissa

[Leeannpk]

My niece was much like your daughter and she still resists going to bed. I find her to be cranky and overtired, especially now that she's in elementry school, but her parents have grown so used to her behavior that they attribute it to personality. Sleep patterns can be very hard to change as a child gets older and needs to get up for school each day (and stay alert and active all day), so I would try to get her on track now. I'd drop the nap. Missing one day of her nap might not make a big difference, but after several days in a row you'll probably notice a change in her readiness for bed at an earlier hour.

In the long run you will not regret helping your daughter to get more sleep. It will make your life easier in so many ways!

[SnuggleBuggles]

My kids are night owls and so are dh and I. It works for them and it works for us. We did have to try and move ds1's bedtime earlier once he started school but he still doesn't fall asleep any earlier.

If a late bedtime can work for you then I personally would keep the nap. Everyone needs a bit of down time in the middle of the day, imo. Especially a toddler (and their care provider :)).

We do put them both down between 8-9 but they are often still up till close to 10. I'm totally ok with playing in the crib/ bed! I think it is a great skill to be able to entertain ones self!

Anyway, the late bedtime does work ok in our house, we will keep naps and playing in the crib is ok if we decide that it's bedtime. Both of my boys are so happy and easy in the evening that it's a great time for us as a family. You need to decide what works best for your family.

eta- In my case eliminating nap wouldn't change much about bedtime. Like I said, he plays often til 9:30-10:30 if he has a nap. No nap, that means he might fall asleep closer to 9-9:30, maybe. Not a huge difference. We put him down earlier if he misses his nap (usually misses it b/c of ds1's schedule) but he doesn't really need to crash super early.

Beth

[HIU8]

:yeahthat: That is what we did for DD. She would still nap in the afternoon if I let her. HOWEVER, when she naps she does not go to sleep before between 10 and 11 pm. WAY to late as she also will get up at 6 am. We took away her naps and she goes to bed between 7:30 and 8 and she will sleep until 7. This works so much better for her and for us.

[LarsMal]

My 3yo hasn't napped in over a year and still goes to bed between 10 and 11 every night. :banghead:

DH and I have finally given up on the fight and accepted this is just the way she is!

She is up between 8-9AM, maybe a 30 minute snooze in the car to and from picking DS up from preschool, and asleep between 10-11PM. She is allowed to look at books, do puzzles, and play with her dolls/stuffed animals that she sleeps with, but no "toys" in her room at night. She is in a "monsters in my room" phase right now and refuses to even go in her room at night. I've been getting in my bed with her around 9:30. I watch a show with the volume on low and ignore her. She passes out eventually and then I move her to her room.

I would also try to drop the nap or not let her sleep as long. If she still wants to stay up late, try books or a quiet activity, but she has to stay in her room. If you find anything that works, please share!!!

[arivecchi]

My 3 yo goes to bed at 9:30-10 b/c he sleeps in our bed. :irked: He wakes up around 8 and naps from 2-4. He still needs his nap so I cannot force him not to take it.

[citymama]

This is my DD too. She just turned 4. From about 3 and 3 months on, her bedtime has slowly crept upward and she is rarely asleep before 10 or 10.30 no matter what time we start bedtime. She naps at school sometimes, but not every day - days when she doesn't nap she is definitely tired earlier, but will resist sleep till 10 or later. I suspect if we were more disciplined and rigid, that might help, but we're pretty relaxed about it. She usually sleeps till 6 in her bed, and then comes into our bed and will sleep till 8.30 if we let her!

[erosenst]

Everyone is in bed by 7pm and usually asleep by 8pm except me. DD falls asleep around 10pm and wakes up at 7am.

Perhaps I'm reading this differently than others, but appears that you're putting DD to bed at 7p, and she's not falling to sleep til 10p...but it happily playing between 7 and 10.

This describes our DD, now 6. She goes to bed at 7, and until K would play in bed/in her room til 8 or 9, and occasionally 10. She never complained about it, and if she was up (ie not in her room) past 7, a HUGE meltdown at bedtime was a given, and she was usually a bear the next day. She did nap/have quiet time from 1-3, but also very clearly needed that as well.

Now that she's in K, she still has quiet time on the weekend from 1-3, and still very much needs it. Since she's 'napless' during the week, she usually is asleep by 8:30-8:45. The other difference between this year and prior is that she can occasionally stay up past bed time, and we miss the meltdown phases. But that's not a given.

Some kids just need to the time to wind down on their own. DD is one; appears your DD may be another. If she were really complaining about the time in her room, I *might* consider dropping the nap...but at 3 many/most kids still need a nap/quiet time IMHO.

[mommysammi]

Thanks for sharing!

DD needs to wake up at 7am so we can take DS to school. The odd thing is, even on the weekends, DD will wake up at 7am on her own. Probably because she's so used to it.

I might start skipping a nap every other day. She does pretty well on those days when she skips a nap but totally crashes the following day.

I hope it's nothing genetic because I have always had a hard time falling asleep which is why I'm a night owl. DH, on the other hand, can sleep anytime and anywhere. DS is like DH. Can it be hereditary?