Do you and your DH have regularly scheduled dates?

[BeachBum]

I've decided that I am going to start getting a sitter on Tuesday afternoons from about 3:30-7:30 so that DH and I can have time together. DH thinks he can slip out early on Tuesdays, and even if he can't this will give me time to run errands etc.
This will allow us to do something together like take the boat out, go to the beach, catch and early movie, and grab a quick dinner and still be home in time to put the kids to bed. I think this will be better for us than the typical "date" time (dinner and later).
I am totally giddy with excitement. DH and I are doing fine, but I really think this will help us both to feel more connected. Right now we often feel only like the mom and dad team.

I mentioned this to some of our friends, and they were flabbergasted that we hadn't had regular date nights. Most of them have grandparents that babysit, which I guess makes things easier (or at least cheaper! :)) but we just haven't. We go out occasionally, but mostly if someone asks us out, or if my mom offers to babysit....maybe once every 2 months.


What about you? Do you have regular 'dates' ie time together without the kids?

[newg]

nope, we don't.........we do go out occasionaly, but usually when my mom or sis suggest we should go out.
I'm guessing we will want more date nights once the second kiddo comes along and there won't be as many breaks.

I think it's great that you are going to set up a date night though!!

[LBW]

We don't, and that's probably part of the reason why we are so disconnected. Sigh.

[infomama]

Yes we do (actually we have one tonight). We also have a weekly meeting were we sit down, cross check our schedules and plan our 'me time'. I highly recommend weekly meetings. We are supposed to have family meetings each week as well but we aren't as good about those. We kind of have mini meetings with dd1 at bedtime and it's working well.

[g-mama]

No, we don't. We do try to go out on a date about once a month on a Saturday night when we can find a sitter, but that's it.

I think that's wonderful and the afternoon/early evening time seems so much better than at 8pm when we are both tired. Good for you!

[SnuggleBuggles]

During baseball season we share season tickets so we get to go a few times/ month, usually without kids. So, those count as date night those months. This winter we were kind of in a rut with nothing scheduled except a few parties.

Beth

[boogiemomz]

We don't, and that's probably part of the reason why we are so disconnected. Sigh.

:yeahthat:

[KHF]

I wish we did, but we don't have any family close by to watch the kids, and when you add in about $10/hour to a babysitter...well, the cost of a date night goes up exponentially. Our daycare offers Parents Nights Out on a regular basis, but that cost is $35 for two kids...which is still quite a bit in the current financial climate.

We get out on average about once every 6 months or so, just the two of us.

[hillview]

Nothing scheduled but once a week or so DH and I go out after the kids are in bed (8).
/hillary

[ourbabygirl]

I wish we did! The only people we have to watch DD are my mom & DH's mom & sister. They already watch DD every other week for a few hours during the day, so I don't want to burden them by asking for more. We need to eventually find someone (random someone) who can watch DD, but I don't like the idea of a non-family member watching her. We've also switched off watching a friend's kid, but she's due with her second baby next month, so that will come to an end!
I would LOVE to have a weekly date night with DH...

[deborah_r]

No. Can't remember last time we've been out. No family locally, and after paying sitters and going out, it's just too expensive.

[VClute]

Yes, we have a sitter who comes EVERY Friday night. She arrives at 5, and I meet DH after work. We usually eat dinner and go to a movie. I'm lucky in that DH has NEVER balked at the cost of a babysitter. In fact, we often remark that it's better than paying a divorce attorney. Before we started weekly date nights, we were very disconnected, and I was VERY resentful of DHs relative freedom and interesting life! :)

I've heard of people doing "dates" while kids are in school (breakfast or lunch or just sleeping in together) Dates don't HAVE to involve leaving the home, but it would take a less TV-hungry DH than I have...

[lkarp]

We started getting season tickets to the broadway season of our local theater last year. We always had the intention of going out on dates, but we never did it. Paying for theater tickets forces us to commit to a date and we have really enjoyed it. Our nieces babysit (they live 45 minutes away) while DH and I have a quiet dinner together and see a show. Probably a bit more expensive than a weekly date (we do pay the nieces for babysitting), but we get quality time together every couple of months.

[maylips]

We usually do not, but I wanted to post and say what a great time slot idea you have (to do it in the early afternoon). Our fitness center is just starting a new "Parents' Night Out" beginning at 5:30 that we're actually taking advantage of tonight, but it's really hard being out and about until 10:00 or so when the kids need to be in bed. A "date night" doesn't end well when we're taking cranky kids home 2 hours later than their bedtime, going through the routine with them all wound up, and then they STILL get up at the same time the next morning.

I think your date afternoon is a great thing - you can get home in time to put the kiddos to bed and hopefully the connection is still going strong so when they go to bed, you can too. :)

[JoyNChrist]

No, we don't, and we have tons of family around to watch DS, so there's really no good reason for us not to. DH is a workaholic (frequently volunteers to work weekends/extended hours...but that's a bitching post for another day), so he's either not home or he's too tired to want to do anything.

[BelleoftheBallFlagstaff]

:yeahthat:

Haven't been on a date for 3 years.......

[Twoboos]

We don't, and that's probably part of the reason why we are so disconnected. Sigh.

:yeahthat: Maybe we make it out once a month. Maybe. Our last date was dinner after having our taxes done. The taxes part made it soooo romantic... :wink2:

[♥ms.pacman♥]

we don't have any family within 300 miles, so DH & I don't go out for "date nights" often...usually its only once every month or two when one of our parents are in town. however DH & I try to get alone time at home every day... every night we put DS to bed around 9pm or so and after that is our alone time, to watch TV together, read, etc so we usually have a good hour or two to ourselves most nights. i'm thankful DS is an easy baby and a good sleeper b/c we would have gone crazy otherwise, without any family around to help. we can afford a sitter, but with DS so young we are still not comfortable leaving him with anyone else besides our parents.

[maestramommy]

We try to have a date night once a month. Between paying for a sitter and dinner, it's what we feel comfy with. But we have dinner together without kids 5 days a week, so we do get a chance to talk alone and reconnect on an almost daily basis. Date night is mostly so I don't have to cook and Dh doesn't have to clean up:p

[gatorsmom]

We did for a LONG time. Then our favorite babysitter went off to college. She was a bookworm and came to our house every Saturday night without us even having to call her!

For the past year and a half, since the twins were sleeping more regularly, we've had 2 neighbor girls who are in HS come over on a regular basis. The trouble is they have a very active social and athletic schedule (they are gorgeous, blond haired, blue eyed, identical twins- they are the life of the party!) so they are gone doing stuff a lot. But they are awesome babysitters and the boys LOVE when they come over because they love to play with the boys. We always make sure to have the twins in bed before the babysitters come over to make it easier on the babysitters.

As a matter of fact, for the first time since before my dad got sick in September, DH and I are going to dinner tonight! One of the twin babysitters is coming over! Woohoo!

[Tondi G]

Friday night is our usual date night. My mom has watched our child/children since DS1 was a couple months old! THANK GOD for GRANDMA!!!! Occasionally she will have plans and we will switch it to Saturday night but we usually get at least one evening a week to have a meal or see a movie or whatever we decide. It is really nice.

[sewarsh]

we do about every other week. if we are away or have things going on on the weekends, than it may stretch to once every 3 weeks.

each year we also go away for 5-nights and leave the kids with one of the grandmas.

[jgenie]

We don't - once DS2 is a little older I hope to try to make it a priority.

[JMS]

Yes.. once a week and we just got home from our dinner date (great food and great talk)... going to bed :)

[alexmommy]

No. Lately we've been trying to do an in-house date night after DS is in bed. That usually means chocolate, and either Scrabble or Uno. We like it. If we don't make time for it, I'm on here :D and DH is either on his computer or doing something practical. We got a sitter for V-Day. When g'parents visit (all live on the other coast), we go out for lunch just us two.

[ewpmsw]

We had regular date nights for years until this past Christmas, and kind of fell out of the habit. It definitely makes a difference. We're trying to get back into the habit, and have a rule that we'll talk about things other than DD while out. Some dates are romantic, others are trips to Lowe's or the grocery store after dinner out.

OP, I really like the idea of using the free time for yourself when your DH can't make it home early. I have a sitter twice a week for two hours at a time and highly recommend making that time for yourself when you can.

[daniele_ut]

Yes, we do. I work out of a home office and dh works from home 1 day a week. We always go out to lunch on that day. We also go out on an evening date at least every other weekend. Lately it has been more often. We've started going to a movie theatre in town that has a great food court in it. You can eat while you watch, so we're never late for our movie because dinner ran long. We also have refillable mugs from the theatre so drinks are only $1. We are also lucky to get free tickets to the symphony whenever we want them so we do that frequently as well.

I will tell you that it was VASTLY improved our marriage since we started making this a priority again. I sometimes choke when we pay our sitter, but really, it's worth the expense.

[kijip]

We used to. We fell out of the habit in the year after F was born. However, it takes a toll for sure. We realized we need to get started again when out child free trip to costco last night seemed the closest to a date we had had in a while. We decided to go on dates more as we ate our slice of costco pizza, cut in half. :wink2: