Moms of nose-pickers and late finger-suckers

[lalasmama]

La is 6 years old. She (shockingly) never was much of a nose-picker. However, she's making up for it now.....

Over the last week, if her finger isn't up her nose, she's sucking on just the tip of her thumb. She's had a bit of a runny nose, but it doesn't smell funky, so I don't *think* there's a toy up there causing her pain/irritation. As far as the thumb thing goes, no clue there. She wasn't a thumb or binky sucker as an infant or toddler, doesn't chew nails, etc.

I'm trying to come up with reasons for the sudden surge of nose-picking and thumb-sucking, and the only thing I can come up with is that we started 1-2-3 Magic last weekend. Its worked WONDERFULLY. We both thrive on having clear-cut rules and consequences. She hasn't been in time out in days because she shapes up by 2 now! It doesn't seem like its been an "issue" for her, like she's seeking comfort with brain-scratching-via-nostrils or her thumb, kwim? I just can't figure it out!

Any suggestions? We do have some Stop-Bite in the medicine cupboard for a 3-day finger-sucking jag that happened like 2 years ago. We never used it though, because I felt bad using it for a barely-4-year-old!

[Twoboos]

This may not be popular, but... if you've never painted her nails before, this could be the time.

DD1 started sucking her finger around 18mos, then kept on going until she was nearly 4. It stopped by going to a princess dressup bday party where they painted nails. She thought the orange nailpolish she picked was soooo beautiful, she couldn't suck on it (and I told her it would give her a stomach ache - I'm so mean!).

Honestly, if I had known it would have been that easy I would have done it when she was 3.

Might not be great advice but it's what worked here! GL - it's so frustrating when they are doing gross things!!

[lalasmama]

We already paint her nails... Funny enough, its her "bonding" time with my SO! The only time she will sit still and patient is when he's searching for just the right shade of glittery pink polish! And then they sit down, and play beauty parlor. He gets his "cheek-shadow" and lippy-stick and "eye-pokey-powder" applied by La, and then he paints her fingernails :rotflmao:

I may try the tummy-ache thing though--we haven't painted nails in several weeks now, so maybe telling her that she will get a tummy ache from sucking on her thumb will be enough discouragement.

[egoldber]

It probably is the 123 Magic. She's working harder to behave better, which is what you want. But it is no doubt also stressful for her trying harder to remember the new rules. Thumb/finger sucking and nose picking are definitely stress reducing techniques.

[Twoboos]

We already paint her nails... Funny enough, its her "bonding" time with my SO! The only time she will sit still and patient is when he's searching for just the right shade of glittery pink polish! And then they sit down, and play beauty parlor. He gets his "cheek-shadow" and lippy-stick and "eye-pokey-powder" applied by La, and then he paints her fingernails :rotflmao:


This cracked me up!!! Too cute, good for SO!! Dh would never agree to such things - he cannot stand the smell of nail polish.:rotflmao:

[lalasmama]

This cracked me up!!! Too cute, good for SO!! Dh would never agree to such things - he cannot stand the smell of nail polish.:rotflmao:

He won a birthday game of Pretty Pretty Princess too. :hysterical: Dangley earrings, necklace, tiara and all. (Yes, of course there are pictures, but I promised him I wouldn't post them. However, I still pull them up when I need a good giggle!)... I :heartbeat: that he is so willing to do this. Rare is the man who voluntarily plays beauty parlor or Barbies with a 6 year old girl!

[lalasmama]

It probably is the 123 Magic. She's working harder to behave better, which is what you want. But it is no doubt also stressful for her trying harder to remember the new rules. Thumb/finger sucking and nose picking are definitely stress reducing techniques.

I guess it does make sense. Part of me thinks "Well, its less stressful when she's not getting in trouble for everything under the sun.".... But its a fair point that she's working harder to behave, and while the punishments aren't as many, it is still stressful for her to remember to behave nicely/change her behavior when she gets a warning. Guess I will have to figure out how to ignore it for a while....

[pinkmomagain]

Personally, I would ignore it. There are much worse nervous habits to have.

[jenstring95]

I have no advice; I just wanted to let you know that my 2 1/2 year old sucks on her middle and ring fingers WHILE picking her nose with her index finger. Multi-tasking early, I guess...

I also have a 4 1/2 year old that still sucks his fingers (the same 2 as DD) and is somehow inexplicably unable to blow his nose. Somehow there is a nose blowing gene missing.

So, you know, I can identify a bit with you, even though I don't know what to do about it!

[MolieMuts]

I have no advice; I just wanted to let you know that my 2 1/2 year old sucks on her middle and ring fingers WHILE picking her nose with her index finger. Multi-tasking early, I guess...

I also have a 4 1/2 year old that still sucks his fingers (the same 2 as DD) and is somehow inexplicably unable to blow his nose. Somehow there is a nose blowing gene missing.

So, you know, I can identify a bit with you, even though I don't know what to do about it!

My 6yo is missing the nose blowing gene also! His finger is constantly up his nose and then it goes in his mouth:tongue5:

[gatorsmom]

I REMEMBER biting the tip of my thumb when I was 6 years old. I remember sitting in 1st grade doing that. I remember chewing the skin off my thumb on a regular basis and thinking to myself that I should stop that before it hurts! Pretty sure I did't go to second grade with that habit. :p

Gator has gone through some strange phases. For an entire year when he was 3 or 4 he bit his nails. I remember checking his nails to cut them and they were always chewed down. Then, inexplicably about a year later, he just stopped biting them. Whenever I saw him biting them I told him he should stop so he didn't hurt himself. Maybe he eventually listened to me and just decided to stop. I didn't pressure him at all. He also went through a nose picking stage. When ever I saw him do it I simply tapped the hand in his nose and said quietly, "sweetie don't do that, it's not good for you.' I did it whenever I saw him picking and offered him a kleenex. He cut back on that a lot but still occasionally picks, mainly in the winter when the air is dry.

I wouldn't worry about it too much, it will probably pass.

[gordo]

My DD is the same. If her finger is not up her nose, she is biting her nails. This has been a serious habit for almost 2 years (she is almost 5). i have tried EVERYTHING! Igoring it, giving her a reward chart for not doing it. We don't paint her nails and she always wants them painted - I tell her when they grow she can paint them - it doesn't work. It is really driving me crazy, but I am out of ideas and now just ignore it. This "phase" needs to go away soon!

[JustMe]

It seems stress-related (due to the effort going into her positive behavior) to me too.

If possible, I would try to figure out other ways to help her reduce stress and focus on her being able to access those, rather than trying to directly get her to stop these behaviors. If she is with you when these behaviors occur, examples are rubbing her back, having her sit close to you, taking deep breaths with her. They also make something called "chewable jewelry", which are basically kids bracelets/necklaces that are safe to put in your mouths. They are primarily designed for children with sensory issues I believe. I was initally against using them with dd, but when her anxiety in Kindergarten led to her taking gum out of garbage cans for her to chew, I decided it didnt sound like such a bad idea!

[catroddick]

It might also help to let her know how much you appreciate how hard she is working. When you see her really worrying at her hands or nose, rather than discussing that behavior, bring up somthing good she's done. "hey DD, I just want to thank you again for being so helpful this morning. It makes me so happy to see you pick out your own outfit in the morning (or whatever".

Lots of positive feedback about specific behaviors. Letting her know how her good behavior is positively impacting you, the family, the world. Perhaps if you can turn it into a conversation, you can distract her from the stress and worry.