Does anyone else suck at throwing parties?

[elektra]

What do you do when you know you are just not the hostess with the mostess?

I am only just now realizing that I have only 3 weeks until DS's birthday and I haven't even thought about what to do for a party.
SIL and I did DD's and DN's birthdays as a combo this year (DD was 3 and DN was 1) and I seriously dropped the ball. We forgot the candles, there were no decorations except for table clothes on the picnic tables at the park, SIL did way more than I did ( I do have my excuses if you want to hear them), and I just felt a little bad for DD that it wasn't a great party. ( I don't think SHE noticed though.)

DH's family expects big parties for everything! And more times than not it is hosted at my house. DH actually takes charge in most of the prep and I am sort of an assistant and my main job is keeping the kids out of his hair. I personally am bad at planning the parties, which is why DD's was not all that great.
When I skipped DD's 2nd birthday party, DH's family all gave her gifts and a cake at Easter last year and I felt all bad for not organizing anything. Not having some kind of official birthday recognition at a family gather is not in their vocabulary! I myself never even had birthday parties until DH's family threw them for me!

I know this is all jumbled but I just don't even know where to start with a party. I think I feel guilty for wanting to just skip it and go to Disneyland again. And then frustrated for knowing that I will be required to pull something together.

I am also kind of dreading having to answer if anyone asks me why he is not yet standing up at his first birthday party.

[Indianamom2]

Yeah, I'm not really a great hostess. I wish I was, but I don't think it's one of those areas in which I excel.

Of course, I might be motivated to host more if I could ever keep my house clean. Or even just the downstairs. (But that's my issue!)

I say do what you are comfortable with. No need to stress out about kid's birthday parties, IMO. Have the family over if you want, grill burgers and hot dogs, have a cake and ice cream and just enjoy being together because that's what it really is about.

[SnuggleBuggles]

I'm getting better every year. We are really getting a system down. And it helps that we have amassed a good collection of party supplies so I have a lot of inventory on hand. It's just more a matter of dh and I not bickering and getting things done smoothly before guests arrive. Once the party starts we make a good team.

I read several b-day party planning books when ds1 was about 2-3yo and got a ton of great hints! I recommend checking some out and just getting a god feel for things. One thing I do is make thorough checklists and time lines for the parties. I think about guests, food, cake, favors, activities and decorations for my list. Then I make a list of how the party should flow.

eta- this is the best b-day party book I read (and I read a whole lot!):
http://www.amazon.com/Birthday-Parties-Party-Ideas-Lansky/dp/0916773361/ref=cm_cr-mr-title

etaa- as time has gone on I just keep simplifying too! We had a non-b-day party party this weekend and I bought a crudite platter from Costco along with their take and bake pizzas. We used to do more elaborate food but I just want simple, yummy food. We have a good rotation of food ideas that are easy to throw together.

Beth

[arivecchi]

I did a super small party for DS2. I did not feel like a big party and I am pretty sure DS2 did not care. ;) All that mattered to him was that he got his hands on a big piece of cake. :) Disneyland sounds fab!

[rlu]

Good advice so far.

We totally luck out in that my mom and dad host DS's bday parties. No cleaning for me, just organizing.

Pick a theme
Get a tablecloth, cake plates and little napkins in that theme.
I also print out coloring pages with that theme for kids to color during the party (some kids are shy and like the quieter activity) and/or take home.
We do party bags often with something in that theme, although wiffle balls and balloons are always popular.

Speaking of balloons, we do mylar balloons each year and save them when the helium leaks out (you can gently insert a straw into the area when they fill the balloon to release the helium) for reuse. You can refill a mylar balloon 4 or so times, so we buy a few new ones each year and reuse the old ones so we ended up with about 16 or so this year.

We do the cake in the theme or if DS requests the castle cake (nordicware) we're set.

Invitations went out slightly over 2 weeks this year, a little later than I'd hoped.

Outdoor parties work well for younger kids. Footballs, tennis balls, wiffle balls, bean bag toss, sidewalk chalk, kids will entertain themselves.

I tried to do organized games last year (green/red light, simon says) and it didn't go far. Didn't bother this year.

We skipped the pinata this year and noone noticed.

Appetizers of veggies, chips/salsa, veggie bootie (puffs for your DS age), juice boxes and bottle water. Have sharpies ready to write names on boxes/bottles. If you prefer to use cups, get plain ones and use stickers to theme. Then you can use the extras next year.

We use misc dinner paper plate and napkins for the appetizers.

Where ever we can we put up pictures of the theme (dinosaurs this year, Disney Cars last year) so not every single thing has to relate to the theme.

Like Beth, we have amassed a party supply box with left over napkins, plates, cups, plasticware, sharpies, little bubbles (l/o from our wedding!), masking tape, "happy birthday" banner, etc.

eta: very important - I assign someone else to pick up the balloons the day of the party and someone else to pick up the cake (if necessary). I'm busy helping put everything out and answering last minutes questions.

[Moneypenny]

My favorite parties are ones that aren't overly planned, so I decided to stop stressing about having official "parties" and just call them "get-togethers". The wording makes a big difference for some reason, lol!

I don't do much by way of decorations (I do just balloons) or activities (bubbles, balls and maybe a small craft). I'm good with food, so I focus on that. We have good food, good company, and just basically run around and play until it's time for everyone to go home. I don't even do fancy food, just plenty of it and a good variety. No one has complained yet, so this is what I'm going to stick with!

[niccig]

I did a super small party for DS2. I did not feel like a big party and I am pretty sure DS2 did not care. ;) All that mattered to him was that he got his hands on a big piece of cake. :) Disneyland sounds fab!

THis is me now. DS is in pre-K and I think this year will be the last big party. We alternated most years - big party one year and then small party with just playgroup, as I couldn't cope with a big party every year and I only have one child.

We won a party at our gymnastics place at the school's silent auction, so we'll have his class and playgroup there. I have to do food/cake/drinks/party bag. Our gymnastics coach takes care of activities. Next year, I'm hoping for the "invite 5 kids and do x". A friend of mine did way over the top parties, and her 7 year old just wanted her closest friends/movies and ice cream. So easy.

[citymama]

Raising my hand here. I am SO not the hostess with the mostest - which is tough, because every female member of my family (and DH's) is an exemplary hostess. I am surrounded by these women who effortlessly host parties of 50 with gourmet home-cooked meals, while I run around like a headless chicken trying to pull off the most basic shindig. But it doesn't stop me from hosting a party for DD each year, and inviting lots and lots of people! I just have come to realize I'm not going to do as much as some others might, and that cake, a few snacks and beverages for mom and dad are pretty much all you need for a good party. Most of all, the cake!

[BabyMine]

3 weeks will also be our DC's birthday. I have never thrown a party before. I did pick a venue that does everything so I don't have to worry about decorations, ice cream, entertainment, and other BP things. They put it all up and take it all down. I am still nervous though.

We aren't party people and have only had 2 gatherings over here but those were LAN parties. We are just quiet homebodies so this is completely outside our comfort zone.

[maylips]

I am TERRIBLE. What I do is plan, plan, plan the most lovely Martha Stewart-on-a-budget inspired extravaganza, complete with a homemade cake (usually one that I've never made before, so I'm making something blind that I've never practiced on), and a simple theme that I think I can pull off easily and inexpensively. Then, about a week before, I panic because I have 100 extra things to do and the hours I've spent researching didn't make the cake, didn't order the stuff I need so that it will arrive on time, etc.

DH and I both grew up in families where birthdays were celebrated, but not in a big-huge-over-the-top deal type of way. So when we go to parties now where there are goodie bags to take home, beautifully wrapped presents, decorations galore, etc, I am so thrown off and feel like I have to keep up with the Jones' with our own party. But I also think that's pretty ridiculous so I don't really have my heart in it and we end up doing something really small. My kids probably won't have a "real" birthday party until kindergarten.

[vonfirmath]

My son will be 3 in August. 1st year -- had a birthday party for adults.

2nd year -- spent birthday with cousins. No official party at all.

I'm pondering doing it this year. But I can only thing of 2 or 3 kids to invite...

[JoyNChrist]

My problem is different - I have great ideas and ambitions, and I'm a great planner and organizer. But I always do too much and end up spending a fortune.

I'm embarrassed to tell you how much I spent on DS's 3rd birthday party last month, and it was a fairly "low key" event at our local park. I just went way, way overboard with the decorations and food and goody bags. While everyone had a blast, DS wouldn't have noticed if I'd done half as much. I tend to do the same thing for Christmas parties and other family gatherings - I can't even host a simple barbecue without spending a small fortune and wearing myself out.

My goal for next year is to seriously simplify. I figure the fact that I'll have my hands more than full with the new babies should help. ;)

[AshleyAnn]

Wow did I write this??? DH's family is also huge on birthdays and throws me one every year. Until we were engaged I hadn't had one since I turned 5. Your post reminds me DD is turning 1 in November I probably should start thinking about it. SIL did a H-U-G-E party for DN1's first and a HUGE party for DN2's. I don't think I know enough people to create a HUGE party in the first place my wedding had fewer guests than either of DN's first birthday parties.

[happymom]

3 weeks till the party? I dont know if you mean a party for 150 people- THAT I have no experience with. But if youre talking about a smaller party, you should be fine if you start now. I did DD's 1st birthday party in my house- not big, about 25-30 people- mostly family and a few close friends. Thats better for a 1 year old IMO. A huge party would be completely overwhelming for him. Here's a list of what to do if you're planning a party at home.

1. First of all, make a guest list and invite everyone- it might be easier to just call everyone or email instead of starting with invitations. Get an idea of how many people will be coming.

2. Figure out what food you will be serving. Pick something easy!

3. Go to party city (or any party store) and find a cute theme- for a 1 year old, you can do almost anything. Bears, balloons, duckies, etc. They always have 1 year old themed party goods so you can just go with that too.
~Buy more than enough plates, cups, napkins, and tablecloths- you can always return unopened packages after the party.
~Buy party bags and cheap filler items for the kids.
~Buy serving bowls/plates and utensils for everything you will be serving.
~But decorations and candles
~While you're at the party store, place an order for balloons to be picked up the morning of the party. Pay for them now so you can send a friend to pick them up that day.

3. Now that you have a theme, call a bakery and place an order for a cake. If you dont care about the theme, just order a regular cake that says Happy Birthday...

If you get all that done this week, you will feel so much better.
You can also order stuff online, but its probably easier to just go to a store and get it done with, kwim? Then theres no anxiety about it coming on time.

Btw, my DD did not stand by her 1st birthday and noone noticed or asked. If they would have asked, I would have just said- nope, she doesnt stand yet! Guess she's a late walker...

HTH! Happy Birthday!:cheerleader1:

[Meatball Mommie]

One thing I do is make thorough checklists and time lines for the parties. I think about guests, food, cake, favors, activities and decorations for my list. Then I make a list of how the party should flow.


:yeahthat: I am a huge listmaker... Before every bday (or other) party, I make a list with "Theme", "Invitation Ideas/Wording", "Guest List", "Games/Activities", and "Favors". Make a standard checklist for all parties so you don't forget things. Do it after a party so everything is fresh in your mind too. I like to work around a theme because it honestly makes it easier for me.

I also second a pp's idea on having coloring pages set out for kids to do. It's nice for kids to do as everyone arrives and also for kids who need a little down-time during the party. You can find coloring pages for any theme online these days. I also like beads/noodles to string for the same reason.

My son's 5th bday party is next weekend. This year he wants a dirt bike party since he saw a cake in Family Fun magazine. Luckily it's a chocolate cake with chocolate icing, so any goof ups on my part will be pretty hidden, lol! I also like the cakes with a picture printed on them. I've created my own picture on the computer, printed it out and then taken that to BJ's to print on a cake. Works great and is very simple!

I also like to give activities vs. junk in the goody bags. I bought inexpensive kites one year and that was a big hit (we live near Cape Cod and it's very windy here!). I don't shop much since I work, but when I see something good for little $, I might buy a whole bunch. Then I have a prize bucket for bday parties.

It's gotten a lot easier each year. I have 2 boys and the oldest will be 7 this summer. I started doing parties with friends vs. just family when he was turning 3, so I've done quite a few now! I find myself cooking less and relying on premade/make ahead things. BJ's makes this 3-4' long sub that has been a huge hit. It's only $25 and everyone loves it. I just preorder it have another family member pick it up for me the morning of the party.

Above all, don't stress about it. If it stresses you out to have it at your home, by all means find another place to have it. My SIL HATES having parties at her house, just not her thing, so she has her girls parties at a local children's museum. She likes Sunday mornings around 11 and brings a variety of bagels and cream cheses and some juice and boxes of Joe from Dunkin' and calls it a day! That works for her. DH and I prefer to have a large family style party at our house with lots of food and view it as our time to socialize with family/friends and to get to know our kids' friends' parents. We're cool with that and I don't stress too much about the house being clean...the kids are going to trash it in 10 min anyway!

I killed myself the first few parties...lots of homemade food, going crazy with decorations and goody bags, cleaning the house...ugh it wasn't fun. The kids don't care about any of that! You don't have to be the best hostess for your kids to have a great day...

edited to add: 3 weeks? Plenty of time!! lol, don't worry about it! Dollar stores are a great place for cheap decorations/stickers/balloons. A phone call invitation is just fine. Actually I mail invites w/ 3 weeks notice and then I call people I haven't heard from.

[MoJo]

I'm so bad I even messed up my wedding. . . but at least I don't have ANY family members who are into parties at all, so no one cares except me.

[mommyp]

I am just the same so I fake it till I make it. We didn't plan DD's (either 1st or 2nd) until 2 weeks before and that involved "It's her b-day soon, we should make a list" LOL. We just figured out who to invite and emailed them (no family here, so the expectations aren't there though) and then time and food. It was afternoon, not mealtime so I did easy appetizer food, crockpot with mini meatballs, crackers/cheese, and fruit. Drinks for kids and adults. The thing that made me look like a "hostess with the most-ess"...the homemade cupcakes in cute papers. I made them ahead, froze them and iced them the morning of (using SnuggleBuggles recipes from sometime back.) At 1-2 yr, organized games don't really make sense, so we just left out lots of books and some toys that are good for sharing, like the Laugh+Learn home, and let the kids play. It came together and I don't think the guests know I faked it!

[maestramommy]

I say do what you are comfortable with. No need to stress out about kid's birthday parties, IMO. Have the family over if you want, grill burgers and hot dogs, have a cake and ice cream and just enjoy being together because that's what it really is about.

:yeahthat: I've only ever done 1st bday parties. If I had to do the whole party with theme, favors, games, etc, I'd fall over from the stress. I've been to a variety of parties with Dora and they always seem so fun! I just can't figure out how they come up with the ideas!