How do I politely ask this?

[gatorsmom]

My aunt is in her 70's and has been super kind to me all my life. She is my godmother and every year gives me a Christmas and birthday gift. Usually they are interesting little things she picks up and find in her travels. But for the past few years she has been giving me random, unmatched pieces of dishware. Some of them come in boxes and (she loves bargain shopping) she has a very bad habit of leaving price tags on so I can see where they came from and what she paid. I can tell that they don't have much value. Some of them look antique.

The thing is, I don't really have room for it all. I want to know if she is passing down some stuff from her mother (my grandmother). That is the stuff I really want to keep. The rest I'd rather get rid of.

How do I politely ask her if she's given me anything of her mother's without sounding like I want to get rid of the other stuff or don't appreciate the other things she gets me? Because I do, but I really need to declutter so anything without sentimental value has to go (she has given me SO many things over the years that I have plenty of stuff which reminds me of her that I like better than some of these serving pieces).

Sorry for rambling, I didn't get much sleep last night. Thanks for any advice.

[AnnieW625]

I would ask her what is what and then with the stuff that you don't want do you think you could make some sort of wall hanging or table mosiac so it takes up less space? It's yours and I believe that you are free to do with it what you want.

[nrp]

I think next time you see her you could just say that you were washing some of the pretty pieces of china she had given to you and some looked as though they were antiques and you were wondering if any were from your grandmother. I don't think she would assume by your asking that you wanted to get rid of the other, just that you'd like to be able to know their history, if they were family pieces.

[Laurel]

"Some of the lovely dishware pieces you have gifted me over the years look like they may be family heirlooms, are they? Thank you so much for your repeated generosity!"

Just be direct with a little flattery thrown in and she should not be offended.

[misshollygolightly]

That's sort of tough, but a few things come to mind. One, if the pieces are in boxes and/or have price tags, you can probably safely assume they aren't family heirlooms. So that should knock out a few items anyway. Then, maybe you could just say to her something like, "You always give such thoughtful gifts, and you've given me some really beautiful and unique dishware over the years. I wondered if any of them happened to be family heirlooms, or if they were just interesting pieces that caught your eye?" If you need to push her a little harder for an answer, you could maybe say something like, "I want to make sure I put any family heirlooms well out of reach of the kids so that nothing happens to them." You could also start asking for the "stories" behind the pieces, both the ones she's already given you and whenever she gives you a new one (something like, "I was just looking at this bowl you gave me the other day and wondering where it came from...?"). Good luck!

[JoyNChrist]

That's sort of tough, but a few things come to mind. One, if the pieces are in boxes and/or have price tags, you can probably safely assume they aren't family heirlooms. So that should knock out a few items anyway. Then, maybe you could just say to her something like, "You always give such thoughtful gifts, and you've given me some really beautiful and unique dishware over the years. I wondered if any of them happened to be family heirlooms, or if they were just interesting pieces that caught your eye?" If you need to push her a little harder for an answer, you could maybe say something like, "I want to make sure I put any family heirlooms well out of reach of the kids so that nothing happens to them." You could also start asking for the "stories" behind the pieces, both the ones she's already given you and whenever she gives you a new one (something like, "I was just looking at this bowl you gave me the other day and wondering where it came from...?"). Good luck!

I like all these suggestions. I think that as long as you handle it tactfully, she shouldn't ever know that you're thinking about getting rid of some of the "less valuable" pieces.

[MamaSnoo]

I think as people age, they are even more appreciative when the younger generations show interest in family history and lore. I think the direct approaches (+ a little flattery) suggested by PPs would not raise any red flags with her. I think she will be pleased that you are interested in the family and in her mother!

[gatorsmom]

Thank you all! I like the ideas of flattery plus interest in family history. I really am interested in family history so this is a great, believable approach. The idea of saying I was washing some of the pieces and wondered about them is great too!

thank you all for the good advice!