Am I being selfish??

[cindys]

As some know I had a hysterectomy a few weeks ago so I am done having children...I had 3 c-sections and my 2nd was so botched I look horrible "down there"...

I will spare everyone with the details but suffice it to say things can only be resolved with plastic surgery which would not be covered by insurance.

I really really want a tummy tuck so I can feel better about myself and not be ashamed or uncomfortable anymore...

I never never do anything for myself but the procedure(a tummy tuck) isnt cheap...Had a consult with a plastic surgeon today and one on thursday with another.

I am small and have great skin elasticity and no stretch marks so the outcome should be pretty great.

Problem is we dont have $6500 just laying around...We can use a CC thats our only option.

If I had thought and planned better I could have had the tummy tuck done the same time as the hysterectomy and saved money but the hysterectomy was done without cutting into the abdomen so dont know how that would have worked.

Any thoughts??

Cindy
Mama to 3 boys...18, 4 & 18mos

[wendmatt]

If it looks bad, could you not get a psych consult to say you are so depressed about it that you need it to be fixed? Then maybe insurance would pay a portion of it.Worth discussing it with your doctor maybe. Good luck, sucks to not have the money for something like that. I can't however say go ahead coz I don't think you should get in debt for it, sorry :(

[boltfam]

I don't think it's selfish to want a tummy tuck at all. However, I'm with the pp with not going into debt to get one. It may take a while, but I would save up for one.

[Octobermommy]

You are not selfish at all! I will be getting a tummy tuck/breast lift in 2-5 years depending on having another baby and the money aspect. Feeling better about yourself is good for your family! That being said I wouldn't go into debt for it. How long do you think it would take to save up for it? Could you save $200 a month and get it in 2.5 years. Maybe with birthday money/ holidays you could save up in less
than 2 years.

[kransden]

Are you really going to be able to save up for this? Maybe. Something always more important comes up that you need the money for. The car broke down, the property tax is due etc. just like in that movie Up. This is the one time I would say "I deserve something for me." Look at your budget and see how much each month you can afford to pay on it each month and do it. This is not an expensive vacation that is over and forgotten, this is something you'll see everyday for the rest of your life. You deserve it, and a little structured debt isn't going to ruin your life, starve your kids or make you lose your house. It if does, well that's another matter entirely. ;)

[♥ms.pacman♥]

I don't think it's selfish to want a tummy tuck at all. However, I'm with the pp with not going into debt to get one. It may take a while, but I would save up for one.

:yeahthat: well said, i agree.

[aa2mama]

It's important to you, and I don't think it's selfish in the least. But I wouldn't go into debt to get one. I would be saving like a madwoman until I had the money in hand.

[salsah]

i agree with the other posters. save up for it first, it's not worth going into debt for.

[kozachka]

You should discuss payment plan with the plastic surgeons. I believe it is fairly common for more expensive plastic surgery procedures, maybe not with the absolute best surgeons but still something to consider. Chances are it be cheaper than charging it to a credit card. You'd need to compare the cost of both options. Also, I'd be concerned about the complications. Our health insurance does not cover complications from such procedures.

Can you sue whoever botched up your c-section? Chances are the doctor's insurance company will settle and you'll have enough to pay for plastics work.

[cindys]

Thanks for all the responses!

First, let me add that we only have a house note and 1 car payment and the CC we would use has 3% interest which is better than the payment options being offered at the office....

We both work fulltime and have good jobs...We could swing the payments not a problem but is it fair to do that to the household.

DH is fine if thats what I want to do but the guilt of doing it is my
concern..Heck, I feel guilty when I get my hair highlighted once a year!

You do purchase insurance(part of the fee) in case of complications.

As for the c-section...Without getting into specifics and grossing everyone out no there could not be a lawsuit plus how much would it cost me to try and sue to make it worth my while...The Dr that did the 3rd c-section did the best he could to make things better but he could only do so much and even then he wouldnt admit anything looked bad to him.

I will continue to think on it...But, I know myself and if I had to wait to save for cash in hand and it would take 2-3 yrs, I wouldnt bother...Lots can happen in that long of a time frame.

[mama2zoe]

You mentioned paying on CC... and it would take 2-3 yrs to save. If that means it would take 2-3 years (or more) to pay off CC's, I wouldn't do it, though it depends on what you put on your CC. We don't carry CC debt and it would drive DH and I insane if we did. Have you listened to/read Dave Ramsey? Read it and you might be inspired to do a strict budget and save the $ quicker than you think:) Maybe you can save it in a year or less! (I don't get a commission from DR, just a big fan!)

[mousemom]

Thanks for all the responses!

We both work fulltime and have good jobs...We could swing the payments not a problem but is it fair to do that to the household.


Do you have a significant emergency fund saved up already? I don't think it is selfish to want to have the tummy tuck, but like other posters, I would not choose to go into debt for it. And I would not do it if you do not have at least six months to a years worth of expenses saved up in an emergency fund.

[infomama]

I don't think it's selfish to want a tummy tuck at all. However, I'm with the pp with not going into debt to get one. It may take a while, but I would save up for one.
:yeahthat:

[JBaxter]

I would do it. Did you say you can get 3% on a cc? We dont have credit card debtor car pments and if my belly was in the shape you described and it would help my self esteem I say go for it. You had that many belly surgeries.. Go for it

[sste]

Why don't you have $150 directly taken from your paycheck and put into an INGDirect account each month. Or, if your work won't do that for small amounts you can have ING deduct $150 each month a few days after your paycheck is electronically deposited. The key is to set it up so its automatic.

Also add in any gift money or extra money here and there. In a year and a half you should have about half of the cost saved. This will also give you time to research the best plastic surgeon - - as you know from your c-section this is key! Then pay for half and finance half. Normally I would not be a fan of financing any of it but you sound very upset over this.

[Raidra]

I like the idea of saving as much as you can in a year and then financing the rest. If you forego other splurges like vacations, dinners out, etc, you should be able to save up a good deal. I think 3% is a pretty good rate, and for something that's as important to you as this is, I wouldn't mind putting some of it on a card. And I'm generally against financing.. it took us a LONG time to get out of debt and we haven't used credit cards in years and years.

What about using your tax return? Do you get much back?

[megulis]

I like the idea of saving up for a year. A lot happens in a year, but at the same time sometimes you feel one way one day and feel differently in a week, a month, a year. You may feel differently in a year. Saving up for a year may make you feel that using the money and enjoying it is more worth it than doing the procedure. Who knows? Maybe talk to others who have had the same procedure and talk about risks, benefits, etc.

After a year if your decision stands, do it.

A little bit of a tangent, but sometimes I buy things thinking that it will make me feel better about something. In the end, it doesn't, and I go on to buy the next best thing. For me, and society in general, we think a pill, a product, a procedure will fix everything. It may totally not apply to you but just wanted to throw out that thought.

[ewpmsw]

I don't think it's selfish to want a tummy tuck at all. However, I'm with the pp with not going into debt to get one. It may take a while, but I would save up for one.

:yeahthat: