Moms of 2 plus- have you ever....

[JTsMom]

And continuing on with my "What the heck is wrong with me lately?" theme.... did you ever get this panicky feeling that you're going to somehow.... kind of forget about the baby?

Seriously, I get these flashes of "Holy crap, we're actually going to have a newborn here in a matter of weeks! Maybe I should figure out what he's going to wear and wash it!" Or, "Oh yeah, aren't you supposed to wash the carseat cover?!?" "Do I remember what I need to know to get nursing established?!"

It just hasn't really felt real until recently, and even now, I'm not sure I've fully wrapped my brain around the reality of the situation. I'll be lying awake in the middle of the night trying to figure out how all of the baby stuff works again, how I'm going to juggle the exhaustion and Jason's needs, and wondering where my brain has been for the past 8 months b/c until now, it just seemed like it wasn't going to be THAT huge of a change or something. :bag Assuming (praying) that I'm not the only one who has felt this, does it go away ever?

[brittone2]

I had lots of vivid dreams with my 2nd pregnancy. I remember quite a few dreams that involved leaving the newborn on the roof of the car in the infant seat and driving off (!) or forgetting the newborn places LOL.

By pregnancy number three I was so tired I couldn't remember my dreams :p

[maestramommy]

No, I haven't had that thought. But that's because our baby is LOUD. She's really hard to overlook;) In fact, the first couple of times I went somewhere without her, I had this odd panicky feeling that something was missing. It was just too quiet and easy. :p

[boogiemomz]

you will be fine, mama!! i'm sure it's just the 2nd-pregnancy equivalent of the 1st pregnancy fears that you will have no idea what to do with a newborn when he/she arrives... in both cases, you figure it out, right?! DS2 is lucky to have you as a mom!

[mikeys_mom]

Yes, often. But maybe that's because there are 2 babies and 4 kids altogether! LOL

Almost every time we get into the car and start to drive somewhere, I have to look back and do a quick head count to make sure they are all there. So far we have not forgotten anyone yet. ;)

I'm sure you will be fine.

[mamicka]

Yes, I have those panic thoughts every time. Normal.

[gatorsmom]

Yes, I had very strong fears toward the end of each pregnancy and for the first few months after delivery. I did worry about forgetting the baby but mainly I worried about dropping the baby. The hallway on our second floor is all open to the main floor and I alway worried that somehow I'd trip or stumble and drop the baby to the main floor. It was a very real fear then for each pregnancy. After a few months it started to go away. Now it just seems silly.

I'm convinced it was just pregnancy hormones.

[elektra]

Yes, I was worried about this too. I never actually forgot DS though that I can remember. But it was weird getting used to worrying about another kid! What I do remember is looking at DD (check) then looking at DS in his swing or whatever (check) and then getting a panicky feeling about forgetting someone, and then realizing in the next moment that I only have 2 kids and not 3 so we are all accounted for! Phew!

[JTsMom]

I think part of what's getting me is that I was so anal about every little detail when I was having Jason, and this time, I just don't feel like any of that stuff matters, kwim? I actually had my mom make me a crib skirt the first time around b/c nothing available was perfect enough. This time, I'm not even setting up a nursery. Jason spent maybe 5 hours total in his, so why bother? With Jason, I took every class, read every book, etc. This time? Nothing. With Jason, I thought about how to set things up so that there would be a changing station right by the bed for middle of the night changes, I obsessed about sleeping arrangements, I had DH install dimmer switches. This time? I figure the baby will probably sleep somewhere, and there's no point in obsessing about it b/c whatever I plan probably won't work out that way anyway. I just feel like I'm TOO relaxed about it. If I'm not figuring these things out now, how am I going to figure them out when I'm sleep deprived? Shouldn't I at least visualize how it's going to work? I don't know how to describe it exactly. It's not like I'm not excited, I'm really thrilled, and I can't wait to hold him, I'm just not so freaked out about it or something, and that's not me. LOL

[gatorsmom]

I think part of what's getting me is that I was so anal about every little detail when I was having Jason, and this time, I just don't feel like any of that stuff matters, kwim? I actually had my mom make me a crib skirt the first time around b/c nothing available was perfect enough. This time, I'm not even setting up a nursery. Jason spent maybe 5 hours total in his, so why bother? With Jason, I took every class, read every book, etc. This time? Nothing. With Jason, I thought about how to set things up so that there would be a changing station right by the bed for middle of the night changes, I obsessed about sleeping arrangements, I had DH install dimmer switches. This time? I figure the baby will probably sleep somewhere, and there's no point in obsessing about it b/c whatever I plan probably won't work out that way anyway. I just feel like I'm TOO relaxed about it. If I'm not figuring these things out now, how am I going to figure them out when I'm sleep deprived? Shouldn't I at least visualize how it's going to work? I don't know how to describe it exactly. It's not like I'm not excited, I'm really thrilled, and I can't wait to hold him, I'm just not so freaked out about it or something, and that's not me. LOL

LOL. I know what you mean, exactly. I was like that the second time around. It gets worse with the third pregnancy. ;)

[jgenie]

I had the same feelings. DS1 got new furniture that I obsessed about for months. We went to different stores numerous times to see the furniture so I would be sure I had made the right decision. DS2 used the same bassinet DS1 used and we borrowed a porta-crib from a friend until we decide we're ready to move DS1 out of his crib. If we end up buying DS2 a crib it will be one of the no frills cribs. It's actually quite funny because DS1 didn't sleep in his crib until he was 15 months old. We coslept in our room in the beginning and then DS1 & I coslept on the floor in his room until he was 15 months old. When DS2 was born I couldn't remember what we had done to take care of DS1 as a newborn. Don't worry it all came back and what didn't come back - I just post about here. :)

[crl]

I've had kind of this experience. A couple of times while the baby was safely sleeping in her co-sleeper during the day, I've suddenly thought, "oh, right there's a baby in the house. Don't forget." I'm blaming it on a combo of being tired and not being used to a newborn at all (DS was 13.5 months old when we adopted him and there was absolutely no forgetting him ever--he was needy and vocal!) Also, I get the feeling of unreality. In CA the birthmother can't reliquish her rights until after the birth so I spent the wait for DD never really sure if she was going to come home with us or not. So now it feels a little unreal at times--it really did happen!

Catherine

[frgsnlzrds]

Perfectly normal fears. I still check the backseat of the car five minutes into my trip sometimes to make sure they're all back there.

[salsah]

nope, not a feeling. i have actually forgotten dd2, more than once. even recently, and she is 2.5 yrs old. fortunately it has never been anything serious or dangerous.

[Raidra]

I remember having feelings like that, too. And even now, when I go out without one of the children (if someone stays home with my husband), I'll freak out sometimes thinking I left him/her somewhere. The only brain dead thing I ever actually did with the kids was buckle the wrong kid into the wrong car seat. I put Lachlann in Colwyn's convertible when he was a baby and then when I opened the other door, with Colwyn on my hip, I was so surprised to see the infant seat instead of the convertible like I was expecting. Not too bad. :)

And as far as getting things ready.. my due date is in 9 days and we don't have any of the big baby gear down out of the attic. Car seat, swing, bouncy seat, etc.. all pretty much inaccessible and dusty as hell. I also need to wash my double stroller as we've been using the single umbrella. Anyone know if Spot Shot works well on Phil & Ted's fabric? :) The baby's clothes are ready, at least.

[arivecchi]

It's all normal! I was way more relaxed with #2's arrival as well. I had two big fears with #2 and they did take the most adjusting to:

1) mourning my alone time with DS1

2) spending the night alone with both of them by myself whenever DH was travelling

OTT, nothing was as bad as I had made it out to be in my preggo mind. LOL!

[vejemom]

All the time. Perfectly normal. Dd#1's room was set up weeks before her arrival. She had all HA clothes, etc. Poor DD#2 never got a nursey in our old house. We moved when she was about 4 monthsq old, she slept In our room until the. Wears a lot of hand-me downs, although now that she is older and is starting to have an opinion, I do try to get her some brand news clothes.