smoking - WHY?!

[lmh2402]

admittedly, i'm in a rotten mood b/c work was tough today. and my mom had to leave a bit early, so i had to log off early.

so, in my rather grumpy mood, i decided that as my mom was walking out (she watches DS here at our apt), we would walk out with her and run a couple of quick errands

i pop DS in stroller and am powering through the crowds on the street - live across st from park and down block from school...lots of people milling around at this time of day

anyway, i get stuck behind a woman who is smoking. and all her smoke is drifting back into my face...and i'm assuming into DS's face

so this pissed me off immensely

plus i notice that she's holding the hand of a little girl - looked about 5. and that made me even more annoyed - exposing this kid to smoke (kid was calling her mommy)

and THEN, as i pass her, i see the infant in the bjorn strapped to her chest

she is puffing away over the teeny, tiny little head of a newborn

WTF!!!!????

i do not pretend to pass no judgment here.

i HATE smoking. hate it.

and i don't understand why what i observed is legal. child abuse is not legal, correct?

but poisoning your kids is ok? in my mind, there is zero question that this is a form of child abuse.

i hate people some times.

[infomama]

ITA. Even worse is when people smoke in cars...with the windows cracked a hair. I always feel so badly for those kids.

[elektra]

That's disgusting. Yes, I'm judging.

[maylips]

That's disgusting. Yes, I'm judging.

Agreed. Poor kiddos.

[Raidra]

Oh, that is so gross. Yuck. Those poor children. :(

Another annoyance: BRU employees smoking just outside the exit from the store. Yes, pregnant women and those with children love to walk through hazes of smoke.

Want to hear something funny? Last night was my sister's senior art show (she's graduating from art school). Huge crowd in front of the gallery, we're standing off to the side, and I'm there with all three kids holding hands or clinging to my legs, we're dressed up and looking nice. I'm 39 weeks pregnant and look it, and I had on my most maternity-looking outfit. This sleazy guy came up to me and asked if I had a cigarette. I glanced down at my bulging stomach, then to my children, back up at him and said, "No."

[Kitten007]

WTF!!!!????
i HATE smoking. hate it.

I totally agree. When I am out and someone is smoking in an area where kids are (and they aren't in the proper designated smoking zones), I always say something (like parks, amusement parks, etc.....). I know I am being a jerk, but I care more about the kids than their stupid disgusting habit.

[Andi98989]

I work in a small office building; it is our office of 25 people and a dozen or so people on another floor from a different company. No one from our office smokes, but about half of their office does. They tend to take their smoke breaks in groups. It is SO nasty getting into the elevator after they've recently come back. :barf: When I go to leave at night usually they're all outside having another quick one and inevitable it is drifting toward the door.

On May 1 our public smoking ban goes into effect, though - yay!!!! It will be nice to not have to worry about it when we go out to dinner. Not sure what kind of impact it will have in regards to people just smoking while walking around, though.


This new law bans smoking in most public places, including, but not limited to, indoor workplaces, indoor common areas of apartment and condominium buildings, restaurants and bars, hotel/motel guest rooms, shopping malls, bowling alleys, concert halls, arenas, museums, mechanic shops, health facilities, nursing homes, education facilities, and child care centers. Exemptions may be granted to cigar bars, tobacco specialty retailer stores, and the gaming floors of the casinos, after meeting certain requirements.

I've never smoked and don't have any idea why people do it. I've always wanted to ask someone why they're a smoker.

[catroddick]

This makes me angry and sick. How can a person do that to a baby? A child? Sick, nasty, wrong.

[BelleoftheBallFlagstaff]

I agree. Not appropriate at all!

[SnuggleBuggles]

Re. saying something at amusement parks...- I went to an amusement park last year and they played messages and had signs out that said, "as a courtesy to our smokers we have smoking areas throughout the park." Why should there be courtesy to them?! Bothers the crap out of me. I'm sorry they have a habit that they can not quit but their habit negatively affects me, my kids, our pleasure, etc..

eta- ITA with your thoughts on the mom and the poor baby and kid. :(
Beth

[wellyes]

I've never smoked and don't have any idea why people do it. I've always wanted to ask someone why they're a smoker.

I'm sure 90%+ plus start at that young stupid age when you feel indestructible, and then get addicted. Addiction is powerful.

Of course smoking is disgusting, but I try not to judge. It's like yelling at someone for being depressed. Of course being depressed is a terrible way to live life, and every self-help magazine tells you to exercise and get to a therapist. Of course depression doesn't just affect YOU, it affects your whole family and all your friends too. But when you're mentally there, none of that matters. And you hate yourself even more for not being able to get over it when other people have.

[elektra]

I'm sure 90%+ plus start at that young stupid age when you feel indestructible, and then get addicted. Addiction is powerful.

Of course smoking is disgusting, but I try not to judge. It's like yelling at someone for being depressed.

I've smoked on and off throughout my 20's (the smoking when drinking kind of thing) and luckily never got addicted. The smoking alone is not what I find so disgusting. It's the smoking right over the baby's head in the bjorn. I feel like there are other better choices than to do that, even if you are addicted.

[garnetgirl]

Absolutely that is child abuse, and it is infuriating that it doesn't seem to be a crime. Wait, I just googled and found there are some state laws barring foster parents from smoking around foster children, and I know there are some laws barring people from smoking in cars transporting children. But that is not enough. I hate smoking so much!

[Seitvonzu]

ickick and more ICK. i was DRIVING around town today and there was someone smoking in the car in front of me, and i was complaining to myself (and toddler) that it was icky. and that was just what was wafting in from their car. i was wondering why people START smoking. seriously, it's just such an AVOIDABLE addiction. and it's SO EXPENSIVE now too. ickickick. and around kids? what's wrong with people?

i had a boyfriend who was an off and on smoker --he was truly someone who could just "stop" whenever...he really could, and YES i know that means its insane that he would ever start again, but so it was. when he had a cigarette i made him do this crazy surgical scrub down-- his whole arms and wash his face :) i just can't stand the smell of stale smoke, though i was telling DH that occasionally i don't mind the smell of people smoking in the moment (like if i walk by outside our b&n starbucks), i just hate the idea of it getting in my hair-- which tends to soak up any available smoke in a 500 ft radius :)

poor little baby and kiddo! :(

[Seitvonzu]

wellyes-- i don't agree that smoking is like depression. people can't help being clinically depressed. they are chemically disposed to it and no one would CHOOSE to become depressed clinically (well, next to no one there are always exceptions). smokers CHOOSE to start smoking. people know the health consequences-- it's pretty ignorant, even as a teen to think "i won't get addicted" or " i won't get lung cancer" or have serious effects-- the facts are just what they are. everyone knows the health risks nowadays. peer pressure just isn't a good enough excuse.

and, i believe the biggest predictor of whether or not someone will smoke, is if their parents smoke. :( i'll admit- i'm TOTALLY judgey when it comes to smoking. i'm NOT judgey about mental illness.

my cousin smoked since she was a young teen (maybe as young as twelve?) -- she was certainly addicted, but was able to quit as soon as she got pregnant and still doesn't smoke, ever, 3 years later. so it IS possible and children should be a huge motivation!

[LexyLou]

DISGUSTING! I can't even pretend to not be disgusted with smoking. It's gross and smelly.

My 2 year old sings, "NO CIGARETTES! NO CIGARETTES!"

So sad for the kids.

[AnnieW625]

and, i believe the biggest predictor of whether or not someone will smoke, is if their parents smoke. :(

Both of my parents smoked, and were social smokers beginning in their teens (I think my dad said he was 15 or 16) and my mom was 18 or 19. My dad quit cold turkey when he was 29 after a hard night of partying at a town cruise night event. My mom quit at 38 the day she found out that my grandfather had lung cancer (due to smoking, and radiation he had in the 50s to remove his thyroid).

Now with all of that said I have never once smoked a cigarette I just have no urge to. Same with DH and his father was social smoker in the military so he could get more breaks.

I try not to be judgy of people who smoke, but yeah it's hard and I am just thankful that in CA it's against the law to drive and smoke in a car with children.

[boogiemomz]

what burns me up is when i have to breathe it in myself because someone else is choosing so smoke near me. ditto for the poor kiddos... someone else making a choice to engage in this disgusting behavior means that others, who made no such choice, have to breathe that nasty toxic air. especially babies and children!! so, SO wrong. my dad smoked when we were growing up, in the car with the window cracked and everything, so maybe that's why i'm so sensitive to it now. i'm NOT a confrontational person at all, i hate conflict, but i don't hesitate to wave my hand in front of my face and look grossed out when someone is smoking close to me. fine, i don't really care if you want to do that to YOUR body, but i care very much about protecting myself from it. go smoke all day long, by yourself in your house, fine by me. when smokers make the CHOICE to smoke in public, near other people, they are robbing those others of the choice to breathe (relatively) clean air. infuriating. to do that to a child is disgusting and wrong.

[Tondi G]

ITA. Even worse is when people smoke in cars...with the windows cracked a hair. I always feel so badly for those kids.

The other day I heard smoking in a car carrying small children is illegal in CA. I hope that it's true!

[wellyes]

I've smoked on and off throughout my 20's (the smoking when drinking kind of thing) and luckily never got addicted. The smoking alone is not what I find so disgusting. It's the smoking right over the baby's head in the bjorn. I feel like there are other better choices than to do that, even if you are addicted. Oh, I'm totally with you there.


wellyes-- i don't agree that smoking is like depression. people can't help being clinically depressed. they are chemically disposed to it and no one would CHOOSE to become depressed clinically (well, next to no one there are always exceptions). smokers CHOOSE to start smoking. people know the health consequences-- it's pretty ignorant, even as a teen to think "i won't get addicted" or " i won't get lung cancer" or have serious effects-- the facts are just what they are. everyone knows the health risks nowadays. peer pressure just isn't a good enough excuse.
.I'm not trying to defend smoking. Smoking is blatantly undefendable. Starting smoking is a very stupid choice. But most of us have made stupid choices in our lives, haven't we, particularly when young? Some kids drive way too fast and nothing bad happens. Others drive too fast and get into an accident that kills them. It's still a tragedy when that happens. And addiction is terrible. For some people I do think the physical cravings and psychological compulsions of addiction are analogous to mental illness. I know smoking is awful and evil. I wish no one smoked. I hate smoking. But as someone who tends to be a bit compulsive myself (OCD) I do have empathy for smokers, or anyone who feels trapped into negative behavior despite, on a logical level, knowing better.

[momof2girls]

The worst is in Disney when I see lots of parents smoking in the smoking section outside of the castle with their kids right there with them surrounded by numerous smokers. It's so disturbing and gross!

[sariana]

On May 1 our public smoking ban goes into effect, though - yay!!!! It will be nice to not have to worry about it when we go out to dinner. Not sure what kind of impact it will have in regards to people just smoking while walking around, though.

Wait, give me a moment. I want to go see what Hell looks like all frozen over.

Michigan passed this?!?! I am shocked! Totally stoked and couldn't be happier, but shocked! I was so glad to move back to California from Michigan because I thought it was so stupid that restaurants and bars were exempt from the smoke-free workplace legislation. What, restaurant and bar workers aren't people? They don't count? I guess they do now. Yay! (No plans to move back to MI, though.)

I also didn't know that CA did not allow smoking in a car with children. That is great news!


To the OP, I absolutely think it's child abuse and don't understand why it is not considered such by the law.

[hellokitty]

Oh, I don't fault you at all for judging that woman. I would feel the same exact way. I can't stand it when ppl smoke too, esp if there are kids around and it invades into other ppl's air!

I once got stuck in traffic and a car close to me had a bumper sticker that said: "Abortion: The worst form of child abuse." As I drove past the car, I noticed that the woman driving it was smoking a cigarette, with the window barely cracked and two young children in the back seat (not in carseats of course)!!! I felt like yelling at her!