Q's about early bedtimes

[JBaxter]

What time do you get home ( or your DP) and have dinner if your kids are in bed by 7? Im just curious how you manage to get it all done.


I dont think any of my boys have ever gone to bed before 830 -900 ever. They all usually slept till 7 even when I was a WOHM.

Right now Nathan is 6 and goes to bed at 9 gets up at 7am. Jack goes to sleep about 9-930 ( usually 930) up at 5 or 6 nurses and goes back to sleep tilll 8 ( on a good day) and naps for about 3 hrs.

[KpbS]

My kids eat around 5-5:15. 5:30 if we are running late for whatever reason. DH and I have an appetizer then and then usually eat dinner after 7--sometimes as late as 8:30.

DS1 is up at 6 am (doesn't matter what time he goes to bed) and DS2 is up at 6:45-7 am.

[salsah]

we start getting red for bed at 7, lights out at 8. that means that on some days, the girls don't see dh before bed. he gets home at 7 on a good day, but often he gets home after they have already gone to sleep.
the girls and i eat dinner together between 5-6, depending on when they are hungry. dh eat alone when he gets home.
i find it much easier to just stick to the schedule that works for the girls and me (SAHM) and not worry about when dh will get home from work.

[boolady]

Well, DD goes to bed now between 7:30 and 7:45, but we get home around 5:45. We do CrockPot meals, things I've made on the weekends, grill, etc. She gets a bath every other night. Sometimes we eat with her, sometimes we make her something quick or our leftovers from the night before and we eat after she goes to bed. Either way, we sit with her at the table and talk about her day while she's eating. We never watch TV in the evening...if it's not bath night, where DH or I will sit and keep her company while she plays in the tub, we play a game or two, play whatever she wants to play, etc. One of us will usually put her to bed while the other washes up her dishes from school and, if necessary, cooks for us. Whoever puts her to bed reads her 2 or 3 books before lights out.

I would love to have more time with her, but she needs the sleep. She's recently dropped her nap once and for all, it seems, and she wakes up, on her own, any time between 6:45 and 7:30. We have to be out the door by 8, so I do my best to let her sleep as late as possible.

[jjjo1112]

My DH gets home at 5:30pm and we have always done early bedtimes. I work a few eveninggs 3-11pm and then my DH puts them to bed. My oldest always woke up early in the morning 6-6:30, no matter what time he went to bed at night. We tried putting him in later and that just seems to be his normal waking time, so we just kept him with an early bedtime. The other kids just sort of followed suit :) I have dinner ready at 5:30 when my DH gets home-then it's a quick bath/pj's-usually done by 6:15 and then playtime. Bedtime routine is quick-bathroom. sips of water and 1 book each-then lights off. Dh also gets up with them in the morning-so he gets extra time to play then. It works really well for us-babysitters can come after they are in bed, we have plenty of time to go out/run errands/food shop/ watch tv/read, etc-before we go to bed. IRL, 2 of my mom friends seem to follow a similar pattern but most seem to put their kids to bed later.

[MissyAg94]

Early bedtime doesn't fit our lifestyle but my daughter still sleeps for about 12 hours per night. She is in bed by 8:30 and up about the same time the next morning. She has always been a great sleeper so a later bedtime works for us. I always joke that if I put my daughter to be bed at 7:00, she wouldn't know her own father. ;)

[TwinFoxes]

DDs eat at 6ish. We are trying to eat with them, but that doesn't always work out. DH gets home around 5. The girls go to sleep happily between 7-7:30. They sleep till around 7am. They nap from 10:30-12:30 or 1:00.

I like that DDs go to bed early, DH and I get couple time every night. It's great. We even get to watch a show on Tivo before DH goes to bed, at the same time as OP's youngest DS!

[sarahsthreads]

DH comes home around 5:30, we have dinner around 6. We start DD2's bedtime at 7, so depending on how long we linger over dinner, there's not a whole lot of time in between dinner and bed for her. We usually start DD1's bedtime around 7:30 with a goal of being done with stories, etc. by 8.

We definitely don't have a lot of weekday family time, especially because two nights a week I go to work after DH gets home. But both girls don't handle being up late very well. They get into manic over-tired mode and then don't fall asleep until 10:30, 11...it's not pretty.

Sarah :)

[geochick]

Dh also gets home at 530. We eat dinner at 530, sharp. If we don't, then 7pm bedtime doesn't happen. After dinner, kids (6 and almost 4) get to read, have a bath, play, etc., until 7. Then they get in bed between 7 and 715. They wake up without help at 7am.

We found that even when they went to bed later, they'd wake up at 7am, but they were so tired and cranky all the time. They are so refreshed after 12 hours of sleep! Plus, my 3 year old doesn't need a nap because she gets plenty of sleep at night. That gives us more time to play during the day.

This isn't to say we aren't flexible. I'm flexible on Fri and Sat nights. I'm flexible for special occasions.

[scmama]

DS goes to bed at 7pm and he usually wakes up around 6:30 or we wake him up then (I drop him off at MIL's at 7am and then go to work). When I'm home for a week (like spring break, winter break or the summer) he'll usually sleep in til 7am.

We've been putting DS to bed this early since he was a few months old. I work at an elementary school so I'm off at 2pm and am lucky enough to pick him up by 2:30 (MIL lives a few blocks over). DH is home most days between 4-4:30pm. Sometimes if he has another job after work it's later. DS eats dinner at 5:30 and DH and I will just eat an appetizer or a snack while DS eats. Lately I have just been eating dinner with DS at 5:30 and DH will eat dinner at 7pm. I hate eating that late and DH hates eating so early, but it works for us.

I don't know how this will all change once this new baby gets here, but we'll see. DS is a great sleeper and will meltdown if he's up too late.

[DrSally]

I think it's easier getting to bed early when you're a SAHM. I can have my kids eating by 5pm, clean up and play a little, and do bedtime routine to have them in bed btwn 6:30pm and 7pm. I can't imagine doing that while working unless I were to pick up at 4pm or earlier. Even then, I would want to spend more time with them if I hadn't seen them during the day. As it is, I've seen them allll day, so I have no problem getting them to bed shortly after dinner. I so need that alone time in the evening. DD wakes up about 5:30 am and DS about 6:45am, regardless of when they go to bed.

ETA: If your schedule works for you, I wouldn't sweat it. Seems like they're still getting a good amount of sleep. The challenge for me, is getting myself to bed at a decent time. Also, DH is out of town during the week, so I don't have to make a big meal and wait for him for dinner.

[BelleoftheBallFlagstaff]

My DH doesn't get home til 6-8 most nights.... Making it really hard.

[egoldber]

I leave work at 3/3:30 and am generally home at 4:30, dinner by 5:30/6. Younger DD in bed at 7:30 and older DD in bed with lights out by 8:30.

We are lucky in that with all DH's jobs, when he is in town, his hours are very flexible, so he was home by 5:30. Now he mainly works from home so it isn't an issue.


Right now Nathan is 6 and goes to bed at 9 gets up at 7am.

That was not nearly enough sleep for my kid at that age. She was in bed at 7:30/8 and slept until 7. I know that all kids are different though. She just needs a LOT of sleep.

Right now she gets home from school, eats dinner, does homework and goes to bed. There is really zero extra time in the afternoon/early evening. We squeeze in therapy one night a week for her, but it is a HARD and stressful night for us on Tuesday.

[maestramommy]

Well, my kids used to go to bed by 7, but now it's closer to 7:30, just because getting all the kids to bed takes longer. DH gets home at 6, plays with them for a while, then at 6:40 or so we start the sequence. We eat dinner after the kids are in bed. On weekends we eat together. Unless we're going on a date night or having people over for dinner.

The kids are typically up by 7ish. Lately they've been sleeping in because of the long weekend and going to bed late. But I will get them up by 7:15 or Dora will be late for school.

[mecawa]

I'm a SAHM so I'm home and DH doesn't get home until 8, if at all (he travels, he was in CT, NY, and NJ this week). So the girls and I eat between 530-600. We only have dinner as a family on the weekends. I clean up between 6-630, DD2 gets her bath around 630, DD1 then takes a shower, then its stories, maybe a little playtime for DD2 and then bed for her at 730 ( 16 months she's usually asking for it by then) DD1 then goes to bed at 830 (6 yrs.).

[hillview]

DS1 goes to bed at 7 (in bed asleep, we head up at 6:30) and DS2 goes to bed at 8 (in bed asleep, we head up at 7:30). They are up early (by 6 or 6:30) but that works out well, DS1 has to leave for school at 7:45 so we are not rushed. Also I like having an hour or 2 after they are in bed to myself. I usually finish up the work (company office work) I need to do.

We eat btwn 5 and 5:30. We play after that or have baths. DS1 usually gets to watch a show at 6:30 for an hour (sometimes he does legos instead). Getting them fed by 5:30 takes some management however they are HUNGRY by 5 so it works out well.
/hillary

[truly scrumptious]

We get home at 6. DS eats immediately (his dinner is always prepared and waiting in the fridge.) Sometimes we eat with him.
Then he has a bath, milk and goes to bed.
He used to be in bed by 7. Nowadays he seems to prefer a bedtime of 7:30. (Actually we prefer it, because the 7pm bedtime was resulting in a 5:30am wake-up :wink2: )

[lmintzer]

My school-aged kids have a relatively early bedtime (8:00/8:15). It's very hard. I am a SAHM, currently, and I don't know how I'll do it when I go back to work. The hours between 3:30 and 8:00 are very very packed. Homework, piano practice, dinner, and activities a few times/week at least. We're also starting to have to contend with activities being scheduled later than is ideal for my 3rd grader. Most of his friends go to bed quite a bit later than he does, but it just doesn't work for us. He is our "Weissbluthian" child who wake up at the same (early) hour no matter when he goes to sleep. Usually, his natural wake up time is 6:30. So when he falls alseep at 8:30, he's up at 6:30, and he gets 10 hours, which works okay for him. But if he's alseep by 9, 9:30, or 10:00 (10:00 p.m. happens about 2x/year--very rare), he's STILL up at 6:30 and is a crabby mess the next day. My 9 year-old turns into a toddler. It's really really bad. People think I am exaggerating or am just inflexible, but it's not that. There are days I wish we had a later schedule. DH gets home at 6:30/6:45 most nights, so or us to have dinner together, it means the 3 of us starting out about 10 minutes before he gets home and him joining in. Then it's shower or bath every other night, game on alternating nights, and then books and bed. I feel like I'm runnning a minor military operation sometimes. It's not always pleasant.

My 6 year-old DS is tired by 8 but he sleeps in until 7/7:30. Once and a while he'll even sleep until 8! It's so nice!

[g-mama]

We've never been an early bedtime family either. 9pm is our kids' bedtime and it often stretches to 9:15 or 9:30 if we're still working on homework, studying for a test, or I just slack off and don't keep things moving quickly enough.

My dh gets home from work around 7pm and it is extremely important to us that he has time with the kids each evening. Not to mention that he helps tremendously with getting the kids ready for bed and I would never want to give that up.

My oldest ds has soccer practice on Mondays and Thursdays from 6-8 so on those nights, he gets home at 8:15 and is hungry for his "second dinner" and often has to finish up some homework if he ran out of time since he doesn't get off the bus til 4:10. It would be impossible to get the younger two wound down with him coming home all jacked up and full of energy, LOL, so that influences the mood of the house, too.

They are all up between 7 and 7:30 and the older two catch the bus at 8:40. It works well for us.

[mamicka]

DH gets home by 5pm & dinner is shortly after that. Bedtime routine starts between 6:30 & 7 & is done by 7:30. They can read in bed as long as they want after that. DS2 & 3 are asleep by 8 - DS1 by 9 at the latest. Everyone is up by 7, regardless of a late night.

[egoldber]

We're also starting to have to contend with activities being scheduled later than is ideal for my 3rd grader. Most of his friends go to bed quite a bit later than he does, but it just doesn't work for us. He is our "Weissbluthian" child who wake up at the same (early) hour no matter when he goes to sleep. Usually, his natural wake up time is 6:30. So when he falls alseep at 8:30, he's up at 6:30, and he gets 10 hours, which works okay for him. But if he's alseep by 9, 9:30, or 10:00 (10:00 p.m. happens about 2x/year--very rare), he's STILL up at 6:30 and is a crabby mess the next day.

Lisa, this is us exactly. Especially for my older one, she has a hard time going to school activities and events that often don't start until 6:30 or 7 and it's just really hard on her. She has the earliest bedtime of any kid in her class (so she tells me) but she needs a lot of sleep and if she doesn't go to bed early, she doesn't get enough.

[lmh2402]

my DS is 12 months, 2 weeks and just this week we are trying to push his bedtime to 6:30. it's been 6 or earlier for months.

DH doesn't see him at night - he is never home before 7ish

but DS is up every morning between 5:30-6 and DH happily spends his mornings with him

i wish there was a way to move his bedtime back significantly, but he physically can't make it past 6:30. even getting to 6:30 was a struggle. and on the occasions when he's been forced to stay up later, he still wakes up at 5:30-6...or sometimes even earlier

anyway, DS eats dinner at 5:15ish. i'll pick at something with him and then eat dinner with DH when he gets home

my plan is that when DS is old enough to be fully eating on his own, then i'll split my dinner and eat something with him and then something when DH is home and eating.

evenings are tough all around b/c all the dinner prep, management of a somewhat cranky kid who is tired by the end of the day, bath, bedtime routine, etc...is all one me.

[g-mama]

Lisa, this is us exactly. Especially for my older one, she has a hard time going to school activities and events that often don't start until 6:30 or 7 and it's just really hard on her. She has the earliest bedtime of any kid in her class (so she tells me) but she needs a lot of sleep and if she doesn't go to bed early, she doesn't get enough.

Beth - do you think you could gradually wean her from needing as much sleep? It may sound crazy, but I say that because we've been there. My 6 year old was still taking a nap until a year ago, when he was 5 1/2. I had to take it away in prep for full day kindergarten and tried putting him to bed at 8 instead of at his usual 9pm bedtime. We did that successfully for about a month and then, because he shares a room with his older brother, it became too difficult to put them down separately. Also because he knew his 3yo baby brother was still awake. I couldn't make it happen anymore and so I just gave up. For a couple of months, he was tired, and it was not ideal, but then his body adjusted to the new routine and he no longer required as much sleep.

If it is making your evenings more difficult to fit everything in with an 8pm (is that the time? can't remember if you said) bedtime, I wonder if that would work. I know how busy evenings are when there is homework and activities to fit in and it only increases the older they get. Just a thought. :)

[egoldber]

I don't know how you wean someone from needing less sleep? When she doesn't go to bed at an earlier time she's cranky. I make do with less sleep, but I compensate with things that aren't really so good for me, like coffee LOL! I think some people just need more sleep. She is exhausted by 8 (lights out for her is at 8:30) and she's asleep in 5 minutes, so I would really hate to cut back on her sleep. If anything, I think she should go to bed earlier, but we've pushed things back a little.

She actually had a ton of homework last night (it had been lighter than usual lately) and she was doing homework until 8:45, lights out at 9 and I think she was asleep before I left the room!

Maybe it's something we could try over the summer when there is no homework. But I can't imagine her getting by with less sleep during the school year.

[nfowife]

My kids eat at 5:15ish. They are in bed at 6:45. DH usually gets home between 6 and 7 and yes there are some nights they go to bed before he gets home. DH and I eat around 7:45 after he goes for a run and showers. I look forward to my kids going to bed a little later as they get older so we can do family meals more often. But we do eat some meals all together (weekend breakfasts and lunches, when we eat out together, etc.). It just works better for my kids to go to bed before 7 because they are generally up around 6:30 no matter what and more sleep= happy kids.

[g-mama]

I don't know how you wean someone from needing less sleep? When she doesn't go to bed at an earlier time she's cranky. I make do with less sleep, but I compensate with things that aren't really so good for me, like coffee LOL! I think some people just need more sleep. She is exhausted by 8 (lights out for her is at 8:30) and she's asleep in 5 minutes, so I would really hate to cut back on her sleep. If anything, I think she should go to bed earlier, but we've pushed things back a little.

She actually had a ton of homework last night (it had been lighter than usual lately) and she was doing homework until 8:45, lights out at 9 and I think she was asleep before I left the room!

Maybe it's something we could try over the summer when there is no homework. But I can't imagine her getting by with less sleep during the school year.

I do agree that some people need more sleep. Maybe "wean" isn't the right term, but just allowing their body to adapt to less sleep, which is what I did with my middle ds. I'm just thinking how stressful it would be in our home with all the stuff that comes with being in 3rd grade (and the homework given out in the GT class - ugh) to try to squeeze it into any shorter a time period than we already do.

I wouldn't suggest this for a younger child, but both our dc's are going into 4th grade and the "stuff" is going to get more and more.

I am actually looking forward to SOL's because I already know ds knows the information and it means a decrease in homework!

[egoldber]

LOL! I was thinking the same thing about the SOLs! They will surely give less homework and then the school year is practically over. :ROTFLMAO:

[vludmilla]

We are all home before 5. We eat dinner by 5:30 and DD goes to bed at 7:30 and sleeps until 6:30.

[mommylamb]

Thank god DS is a late bedtime kind of kid. I'm afraid of what will happen when he gives up his nap and needs to go to bed earlier. DH and I both get home around 6 pm, which means that even though DS goes down between 8:30 and 9, it doesn't give us a lot of time to get dinner ready, give DS a bath and just spend some family time together. I hate the fact that we never seem to eat dinner until at least 7:30. Fortunately, DS eats his big meal of the day at lunch time, and he rarely wants food before 7:30 anyway. It makes me feel like a bad mama that he's not eating dinner when most of y'all's kids are eating... oh well...

[g-mama]

Thank god DS is a late bedtime kind of kid. I'm afraid of what will happen when he gives up his nap and needs to go to bed earlier. DH and I both get home around 6 pm, which means that even though DS goes down between 8:30 and 9, it doesn't give us a lot of time to get dinner ready, give DS a bath and just spend some family time together. I hate the fact that we never seem to eat dinner until at least 7:30. Fortunately, DS eats his big meal of the day at lunch time, and he rarely wants food before 7:30 anyway. It makes me feel like a bad mama that he's not eating dinner when most of y'all's kids are eating... oh well...

Don't feel bad! Imagine how little family time you'd have if he were in bed at 7:30. Family time is super important and he's not hungry earlier anyway. We eat late - around 7pm - because we want to eat together as a family whenever possible.

[Twoboos]

We eat at 6ish, whether DH is home or not. Sometimes he makes it, sometimes he's closer to 7.

Bed starts at 7pm, but somehow we can't manage lights out before 8. Sometimes we can rush it if we start late (7:30ish).

DDs are 6 & 4. They get up around 7. DD2 usually earlier, probably around 6:15-6:30, but she has her alarm clock set and she can't come out (read: wake me up) until her music plays.

[WatchingThemGrow]

DH adjusted his schedule early on so he could be home at 5pm. We eat by 5:15, then we do one of the following activities (walk outside, ride bikes, walk at the gym,give baths, play in the backyard, maybe an errand but not usually) then get everyone in bed by 7:30.

Sometimes we're rushed and forget to get everything done - like the nebulizer for DS2, then we switch gears and try to stay home, take care of stuff here, etc. Cleaning up the dinner dishes and straightening the house happens after they go to bed, not when they're awake. I mean, really, with a 3, 2 and almost 1yo in the house, it's not really possible to clean with them around.

[vludmilla]

Thank god DS is a late bedtime kind of kid. I'm afraid of what will happen when he gives up his nap and needs to go to bed earlier. DH and I both get home around 6 pm, which means that even though DS goes down between 8:30 and 9, it doesn't give us a lot of time to get dinner ready, give DS a bath and just spend some family time together. I hate the fact that we never seem to eat dinner until at least 7:30. Fortunately, DS eats his big meal of the day at lunch time, and he rarely wants food before 7:30 anyway. It makes me feel like a bad mama that he's not eating dinner when most of y'all's kids are eating... oh well...

I don't think there is anything wrong with a later bedtime or dinner time if it works for your family!

[lchang25000]

I don't think there is anything wrong with a later bedtime or dinner time if it works for your family!

:yeahthat: Earlier bedtime for DS does not work for us either. He still takes 2 naps (which he needs)...last one around 4:30 or 5pm lasting 1 hour so he does not get tired again until around 8-8:30pm. Plus, DH doen't get home until 6:30-7pm, then we eat dinner together, have family time, etc.