MY dad had a stroke. In need of BBB mojo

[Happy 2B mommy]

For the last 6 months I was becoming more and more concerned about my 87 year old father who was living alone. On Thursday morning he had a stroke. It appears to be mild/moderate, but at his age it's still a serious blow.

I had my doubts and concerns earlier, but now it is clear he can no longer live alone. His biggest fear is having to live in a nursing home and I hope if he is able to recover and be close to his former self, he could live here.

It's not ideal, but we have a ranch house, so everything is on one level. It's only 3 bedrooms, so DS would have to move into DD's room. There is a small walk-in shower in the master bath. We would probably need to hire help for some of his care.

My kids are so young and there are days I feel I cannot do it all now. My greatest fear is that I will overload myself. Considering I'm already doing his laundry/shopping/cleaning his house I think it will be easier to at least be able to have all my chores under one roof.

Please, any positive thoughts you can spare and send my way?. And any BTDT/related advice is definitely welcome.

[MontrealMum]

Sending all of you tons of P&PT, and :grouphug: No advice on the moving in aspect, but you're a wonderful daughter to even consider it. You guys must have a great relationship.

[shawnandangel]

Oh gosh, you've got a lot on your plate. Definately saying a prayer for your dad's recovery and for you!

[pinkmomagain]

Sending positive thoughts your way. Your dad is very, very lucky to have you.

[WatchingThemGrow]

:hug: Sorry to hear about your dad! Hope he gets better soon and you can help him find the best living situation. You sound like a great and caring daughter.

[Jenny_A]

Kerri,

My Mom had a bad stroke 3 years ago, so if you have any questions from someone who has gone through it, please PM me! Mom is 78. She still lives alone but we have a caregiver that helps her during the daytime. Hugs to you and you will be in my prayers!

[SnuggleBuggles]

Very many PT headed your way. I hope that he makes a good recovery.

Beth

[ThreeofUs]

P&PT heading your way.

Definitely get caregiver help - ask around at the hospital and at whatever facility he goes to for recovery for recommendations.

You can recover from strokes of many types and levels of severity. But your dad will need help with *everything* for at least the first few months (if not much longer) and he will need daily therapy and practice to regain any affected abilities.

GL and hugs!

[KrisM]

Sending P&PT to you. I hope your dad recovers quickly.

[JoyNChrist]

I have no advice (although I think you're truly amazing for considering this...I'm not sure I could do it), but I'm sending you and your dad lots of prayers and good thoughts. Hoping you come up with the best solution asap!

[tmarie]

Lots of P&PT!!! Take care...

tmarie

[LD92599]

Kerri:

Sorry to read about your dad; we're also considering adding into our home so that my mom can come live with us, though with 24/7 care (though in our home, maybe we would "only" need 18/7 care since someone (us) would be here overnight obviously. My mom had a stroke as a result of an infection due to brain surgery. Never should have happened.

She plans to go back to her own home 6/1 so i think we'll see how it goes for a few months there and then revisit this once our new one arrives and we're settled into a routine.

Be sure to take ALOT of notes w/ all of the doctors, etc...ask tons of questions. And take time for yourself too.

[almostamom]

No advice, but lots of prayers and positive thoughts for your family. :hug::hug:

Linda

[elephantmeg]

sending lots of P+PT. Def look at extensive rehab-and early the more the better! I hope it all turns out OK. While he is still in the hospital use the social workers to the utmost to look at respite care/adult daycare centers/home health care options. All these could be saving graces for you and your family.

[bubbaray]

P&PT coming your way!

[R2sweetboys]

sending lots of P+PT. Def look at extensive rehab-and early the more the better! I hope it all turns out OK. While he is still in the hospital use the social workers to the utmost to look at respite care/adult daycare centers/home health care options. All these could be saving graces for you and your family.
:yeahthat: I'm so sorry that your dad had a stroke. What a scary time for all of you. Prior to having DS1 I was a social worker at a nursing home that also had a skilled nursing unit. This is where people such as your dad would be transferred to receive therapies(speech,occupational,physical as needed) as well as nursing care when they are no longer needing the level of care a hospital provides. The ultimate goal of the team(docs,nurses,therapists,soc.workers)was to help the resident/family decide what the best discharge plan would be-home, home with help, long term care,etc. They would then be helping you find resources. I would ask the hospital social workers what the next move will be for your dad. You may need to be looking for skilled nursing or rehab facilities or the hospital may already have a place where their rehab patients automatically go. Regardless, the social workers should be helping you with all of these decisions. Don't be afraid to seek them out if they have not yet made themselves available to you. P&PT headed your dad's way!

[elektra]

Big hugs. It's so scary thinking about taking care of your parents.
FWIW, my dad also had a "mini-stroke" or TIA, a few years ago and he made a full recovery. Hoping it all works out really well for all of you.

[Melbel]

Sending P&PT for your dad's full, speedy recovery, and strength for you to manage the additional responsibilities.

[mommylamb]

I'm so sorry to hear that.:hug:

I'm sure you know this, but assisted living is another option. Most of the AL facilities are quite nice, and very different from nursing homes. More like communities, and they often have a lot of people at various ability levels, so some might have people living on premises who qualify by age, but aren't sick.

[boogiemomz]

so sorry to hear about your dad. sending lots of hugs :hug: and P&PT.

[calv]

I'm so sorry to hear about your father. My heart & prayers going up to/for your family.

[JTsMom]

So sorry to hear about your dad. :hug: Lots of P&PT.

[elizabethkott]

P and PT coming your dad's way.

[brittone2]

Sending positive and healing thoughts your dad's way, and wishing you strength as you help him through this.

[infomama]

Praying for you. My dad had a stroke when he was in his 70's and I remember how scary it was. :hug:

[mom2binsd]

Sending P&PT your way..I'm an SLP and work in rehab/nursing homes. Most likely your dad will need to have daily inpatient therapy/rehab for PT/OT/ST depending on the impact of the stroke. On Medicare Part A, he'll have 100 Days of coverage to stay in a nursing home (can you start referring to it as rehabilation center or healthcare center??). Following that, depending on progress etc he may need to stay longer or may be able to go home, to an assisted living facility or to your home.

At his age, I agree that living on his own may just not be practical.

I find many of my patients come to realize some of this as they progress through therapy. Many are so resistant to care and moving, but come to understand the reality after awhile.

While he's in the hospital ask around for referrals to all of the available facilities, tour them, don't take the "marketing tour", go there and just ask for a tour unannounced, you'll get a better idea, the admissions directors are usually there M-F. Do you know anyone in the area who's had to go anywhere for rehab, ask about their experiences.

Feel free to PM if you have any questions.

There is a lot of recovery from a stroke in the immediate couple of months, what you see today may be a distant memory in few months. Ask as many questions of the nurses and therapists as you can.

[Nooknookmom]

I'm soooo sorry. I have aging parents too, I totally understand the concern and fear. I am ALWAYS worrying about them. My Mom passed out a few weeks ago and hit her head, which makes me worry even more (she is alone while my Dad is at work! and they live 2000 miles away).

I hope your Dad makes a quick recovery and you are able to arrange help to care for him.

[hellokitty]

{{{{HUGS}}}} I hope that your father has a full recovery from his stroke.