Vacation Panic WWYD

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DH has always vacationed in Canada with his family since he was little. His grandmother has a cottage on the Ottawa River about ninety minutes outside Ottawa. We've gone every other year since DS was born and its our year to go. DH just changed firms and although the rest of his side of the family is going in June, we can't go until August due to work conflicts.

The lack of family help is a deal breaker for me. Our kids are 4,3 and DD2 will be 15 months. The back of the cottage is literally 15 feet from the river. Although the water is quiet due to a bend in the river, its still a river and it gets deep fairly quickly. Dh's grandmother is always wanting him to run errands for her, and I cannot handle the kids by myself in such proximity to water. If we went in June we'd have MIL and FIL to help plus SIL for part of the trip. FIL could handle the errands and MIL would be a godsend for dealing with three little ones. MIL cannot reschedule her trip

My little sister nearly drowned when she was 2 1/2. She climbed back in the pool when my brother and I were drying off. Mom went back inside to answer the phone and came right back out. It was only for a minute or two but my sister was unconscious when my mom pulled her out. Thank God, my sister started breathing again right away. I was about nine when this happened and now that I have kids I have nightmares reliving that afternoon.

I want to be a good wife and support my husband, but the thought of this vacation brings on full blown panic attacks and we're four months out. I won't have a single moment's peace the whole week we are there unless we manage to get away to the city with the three kids and that spoils the whole point of going.

How do I tell my husband? I think he knows because he's been extra nice lately and he scheduled 5 days with my family in May. I'd be fine with him visiting his grandma on his own, but he wouldn't do it. Am I being unreasonable for wanting to wait until next year when we can go with MIL?

Thanks,

Christine

[Momof3Labs]

Why can't he take a kiddo or two when he runs errands? That's what I would tell him - if you take the trip, he doesn't get to go anywhere alone, even if he has a task to accomplish.

[BeachBum]

Why can't he take a kiddo or two when he runs errands? That's what I would tell him - if you take the trip, he doesn't get to go anywhere alone, even if he has a task to accomplish.

Yeah, I agree with that.


Also....this might sound really dumb, but.....
Have you thought of putting up an environmental barrier. It is the stuff they use to when they are doing construction. It is black, about 3 feet high and already has stakes attached....like a mini fence. It is made our of a plastic cloth type stuff. We just bought some at Home Depot for like $20 and it took my hubby 30 minutes to put up.
While it isn't a fence, it would keep someone from accidently running into the water. The older kids would have to actively conspire to get around it.


I do think your concerns are very valid. But I'd really hate to give up a vacation when there may be a reasonable solution.

[gamma]

My friend raised 5 children in a home where the back yard had a lagoon on 2 sides of the back yard. Every morning when dressing the younger children, she put a life jacket on them. It was a habit and just part of their wardrobe. Each child had to pass a very strict swimming test in order to "graduate" from wearing the life vest. She had a permanent situation, where as yours is temporary, but still not relaxing. So, I would have DH help supervise and take the children on errands. Put up a temporary barrier. Then the life jackets would be mandatory. Hope this idea helps.

[hillview]

I would not go or I'd take a sitter with me.
/hillary

[SnuggleBuggles]

I do think your concerns are very valid. But I'd really hate to give up a vacation when there may be a reasonable solution.

:yeahthat: I would keep brainstorming on this because I think there are solutions that would allow you to go without extra family or help. I am sure you could do it. :) At the end you'll likely say, "that wasn't bad at all! I don't know what I was worried about!".

Beth

[Percycat]

Every morning when dressing the younger children, she put a life jacket on them. It was a habit and just part of their wardrobe.

This is our family rule. We have a house on a lake. On the deck outside the sliding door is the rack of life jackets. Any child who wants to leave the deck for any purpose has to put on a life jacket. Its a rule and no child (DS,DD,DN,DN, or guests) has challenged or complained about this rule.

We also have rules that no one is able to go down to the water without permission and no one can go down to the water by themselves....

I hope you are able to go on this trip and feel comfortable and safe.
Angela

[pinkmomagain]

Does grandma have any neighbors with young teen children? Maybe you can hire a local mother's helper for an extra pair of hands? Or maybe you and DH have a teen niece or nephew you could bring along?