Baby Screams before nap

[Random987]

I am having a hard time getting my 13 week old baby to take a nap. He is generally sleeping through the night, my wife wakes up once at 3:00 or so to feed him. In the morning, he wakes up at 6 a.m. He generally takes a nap at 8:30 or 9:00 for about 45 minutes. Then about 11:30 or so, he can go down for an hour. The problem is he tends to scream himself to sleep. I try to soothe him, sing to him, use a paci, etc., but it doesn't help. Eventually, after 3 or 4 minutes of screaming he will fall asleep. He just fights it so much, it is actually quite difficult to handle. Sometimes he cries so hard, I have to pick him up to calm him down then start the process over again.

He is definitely tired, rubbing his eyes, yawning, etc.

Any ideas?

[Piglet]

I am having a hard time getting my 13 week old baby to take a nap. He is generally sleeping through the night, my wife wakes up once at 3:00 or so to feed him. In the morning, he wakes up at 6 a.m. He generally takes a nap at 8:30 or 9:00 for about 45 minutes. Then about 11:30 or so, he can go down for an hour. The problem is he tends to scream himself to sleep. I try to soothe him, sing to him, use a paci, etc., but it doesn't help. Eventually, after 3 or 4 minutes of screaming he will fall asleep. He just fights it so much, it is actually quite difficult to handle. Sometimes he cries so hard, I have to pick him up to calm him down then start the process over again.

He is definitely tired, rubbing his eyes, yawning, etc.

Any ideas?

He actually sounds OVER tired. Can you put him down at the first sleep cue? The first yawn, the first eye rub, etc,? My babies like clockwork napped exactly 2 hours after waking up. I would try to put him down at 8:00, not wait until 8:30 or 9:00. Have you read the Baby Whisperer? The book is hit and miss for a lot of people, but the sleep cues section was really helpful to me. Some babies get over-tired and need to scream and shut out the world. That sounds exactly like what he is doing.

[Katigre]

Agreeing with the pp - he's overtired and that is why he's fighting sleep. At his age he should be going no more than 90 minutes between waking up and being ready to fall asleep again. Once you push much past that (and as he grows that window will get longer), he'll be overtired and harder to get down.

Here is a link that explains the different sleepy vs. overtired cues: http://www.thefussybabysite.com/sleeping/sleep-and-fussy-babies

[Random987]

Well, the "other" problem is that he eats every two hours like clockwork, I think it even wakes him up. So, he doesn't get a long nap. For example:

Feed at 4 or 5
Wake at 6
Hang out in crib smiling while M&D get ready for the day
First feed at 7
Change diper
Play time
starting getting tired around 8:30 or so.
Put in crib-fights it
Wakes up at 9:15 or so ready to eat.

SO, in addition to being difficult to put down, he has to eat right away.



He actually sounds OVER tired. Can you put him down at the first sleep cue? The first yawn, the first eye rub, etc,? My babies like clockwork napped exactly 2 hours after waking up. I would try to put him down at 8:00, not wait until 8:30 or 9:00. Have you read the Baby Whisperer? The book is hit and miss for a lot of people, but the sleep cues section was really helpful to me. Some babies get over-tired and need to scream and shut out the world. That sounds exactly like what he is doing.

[hellokitty]

I agree with the other posters. He sounds over-tired. Plus, I would not expect a baby of that age to be able to self soothe himself to sleep anyway, that's not a realistic expectation. Can you nurse him to sleep?

[Random987]

Can't nurse, don't have the equipment! My wife is at work, and I work from home. So, I have baby duties 3 or 4 days a week. He is a very big boy, about 18 lbs. At his two month check he was 97 percentile for everything. He eats a lot, so his eating schedule interferes with his sleeping schedule.

He is 13 weeks old, so according to the books, I should be setting up good sleep/nap habits. He does go down for bed about 8:30 or so and will only get up once (maybe twice) for Mom until 6:00 a.m.

I have the Mindell book, sleeping through the night, and she recommends putting him down awake, then do a simple checking routine, even if he cries.

I just tried it (it's 2:00 p.m.) and he cried for 10 minutes, then I checked on him, he kept crying, then I checked on him 5 minutes later. He seemed so sad, I picked him up and walked with him for a little bit, then put him down again. He is now sleeping.

Part of our problem was that we got in the habit of having his sleep in his swing. Now that he is more aware of things around him, the swing doesn't work that well (and he is growing too big for it). So, he is also getting used to sleeping in his crib for naps. Fun stuff...


I agree with the other posters. He sounds over-tired. Plus, I would not expect a baby of that age to be able to self soothe himself to sleep anyway, that's not a realistic expectation. Can you nurse him to sleep?

[Piglet]

Here is my thought:

1. When he wakes up, don't wait too long to feed him, since it sets you up for a longer wake time than you prefer (hence the over tired)
2. My DS1 was exactly the same - 95%ile for weight around the same age. The a-ha moment for me came with the Baby Whisperer EASY schedule (eat, activity, sleep). I was getting his hunger and sleep cues confused and just kept feeding him when he cried. Granted, eating made him happy, but it also made him over-tired since what he really needed at that point was sleep, not food (since he had eaten relatively recently).

My schedule for DS1 was (adapted to your times):

6:00- wake
6:15 eat
6:30 play, etc.
7:30 cuddle, rock, etc.
7:45 - 9:00 - nap (or thereabouts)
9:15 eat...

3 hours from beginning of eat to beginning of eat. Nap for 45 to 90 minutes every cycle. At the start, he was eating every 1-1.5 hours and by reading his cues I got him to the 3 hour feeds over a few months. Some babies are great with that set up, and others are not. Your sounds like he might be a good fit for it, since he seems to have some self-soothing skills already (and doesn't NEED to eat before nap time). Can you try to put him down before 8:30? Being awake for 2.5 hours for a 13 week old is a LONG time!!

[Random987]

Awesome. Thanks, I will try that.

I hope I can get him to every 3 hours for food. Right now, he is like a timer almost exactly every 2 hours.

Another side note:

He is still in a cradle next to our bed and we were planning on moving him into the nursery when he was four months. Should I try to get him to nap in the nursery (where I can make it very dark) or try it in the cradle where there is some light?

Thanks again for the advice!




Here is my thought:

1. When he wakes up, don't wait too long to feed him, since it sets you up for a longer wake time than you prefer (hence the over tired)
2. My DS1 was exactly the same - 95%ile for weight around the same age. The a-ha moment for me came with the Baby Whisperer EASY schedule (eat, activity, sleep). I was getting his hunger and sleep cues confused and just kept feeding him when he cried. Granted, eating made him happy, but it also made him over-tired since what he really needed at that point was sleep, not food (since he had eaten relatively recently).

My schedule for DS1 was (adapted to your times):

6:00- wake
6:15 eat
6:30 play, etc.
7:30 cuddle, rock, etc.
7:45 - 9:00 - nap (or thereabouts)
9:15 eat...

3 hours from beginning of eat to beginning of eat. Nap for 45 to 90 minutes every cycle. At the start, he was eating every 1-1.5 hours and by reading his cues I got him to the 3 hour feeds over a few months. Some babies are great with that set up, and others are not. Your sounds like he might be a good fit for it, since he seems to have some self-soothing skills already (and doesn't NEED to eat before nap time). Can you try to put him down before 8:30? Being awake for 2.5 hours for a 13 week old is a LONG time!!

[Piglet]

Not an expert by any stretch, but I started working on improving the sleep routines during naps since I was more awake and conscious at nap time! I would try the crib for naps, if that is your ultimate aim. At night, I am more of a survival parent - do whatever it takes to get some precious sleep, LOL!