S/O from bpost- Is it wrong to ask for day alone on MD?

[gatorsmom]

I've been salivating at the thought of spending Mothers Day or any other day alone with a new book at a hotel. Or, better yet, a local B&B so I dont' feel totally alone. Just the right amount of alone, kwim? I mean, DH went off on a one week ski trip in January. I've been taking care of my dad and running myself ragged with everything else I've been doing lately. I would LOVE a day and night alone. Is it selfish of me to ask for that? I've afraid I'd hurt DH and kids (even though DH didn't worry about hurting me when he went on that ski trip). (Also, the new Sookie Stackhouse book should be out sometime soon and I'd LOVE to be able to read it uninterrupted :boogie: ).

[Twoboos]

Not even remotely selfish. Ask for it, it is what you need to help be a better (read: relaxed/refreshed) Mother, and isn't that what MD is all about? It is so stressful to care for a sick parent, along w/kids, along with all the other day-to-day things.

(If you want selfish, consider this. After the horror that was 2008 for me (both parents sick & passed away) I wanted nothing more than to visit a friend in Hawaii for a week, alone. I desperately *NEEDED* that break from everyone and everything and every responsibility. I never got it, but I still think I need it, LOL.)

PS - thanks for reminding me about Sookie!! :)

[infomama]

Not selfish at all but I would choose another day than Mother's Day to have your mini-vaca. My family would be hurt if I said I wanted to spend it away from them but I doubt they would bat an eye if I asked for a night solo in a month (or whenever).

[TwinFoxes]

Not selfish at all but I would choose another day than Mother's Day to have your mini-vaca. My family would be hurt if I said I wanted to spend it away from them but I doubt they would bat an eye if I asked for a night solo in a month (or whenever).

:yeahthat:

[SnuggleBuggles]

I like to be a total princess/ diva on MD so it's nice to be with the family. Having every whim catered to. :) I would book the trip for another day. But you should definitely do it!!

eta- one year I think I did kick everyone out on MD for a few hours and it was wonderful.
Beth

[niccig]

I agree with having MD with your family - I bet the kids have been making something for you at school, and they would be disappointed if you weren't there for them to give it to you etc.

BUT, I would tell your DH NOW, that you want a night and a day and then give 1 or 2 dates for you both to decide on. THEN , put it in the calendar ASAP. I think if you don't just name a day and do it, you'll never get around to it...ask me how I know that!

[wellyes]

I say go for it.
Not selfish at all but I would choose another day than Mother's Day to have your mini-vaca. My family would be hurt if I said I wanted to spend it away from them but I doubt they would bat an eye if I asked for a night solo in a month (or whenever). See, to me, that's the opposite of the point of mother's day..... it's an appreciation of all you do and all you sacrifice and you're supposed to spend it doing stuff for them and sacrificing your own desires in place of theirs?

If the kids are young, I'd tell DH that you want a vacation day and ask him to take them somewhere - visiting relatives, on a road trip, whatever. Take 'em to a hotel with a swimming pool, kid glory! Everyone is happy (extra work for dad but oh well).

If the kids are old enough to understand what mother's day is, just explain mother's day is the day when mom is "Queen for a day" and she gets to skip her chores and goof off.

And the Sookie series is an AWESOME way to spend that day!

[fivi2]

Not selfish at all but I would choose another day than Mother's Day to have your mini-vaca. My family would be hurt if I said I wanted to spend it away from them but I doubt they would bat an eye if I asked for a night solo in a month (or whenever).

:yeahthat:

[JTsMom]

DH had to work yesterday, and it had been one of those days. Around 1:00, I warned him that I needed alone time, and that I'd be dropping J off at his work at 5 sharp. Then I called him every. single. hour. and reminded him of the time. :p If you're selfish, I don't even know what that makes me. :ROTFLMAO:

I'd do it on a different day though, like pp's mentioned, but that's just me.

[KrisM]

I say go for it. See, to me, that's the opposite of the point of mother's day..... it's an appreciation of all you do and all you sacrifice and you're supposed to spend it doing stuff for them and sacrificing your own desires in place of theirs?

If the kids are young, I'd tell DH that you want a vacation day and ask him to take them somewhere - visiting relatives, on a road trip, whatever. Take 'em to a hotel with a swimming pool, kid glory! Everyone is happy (extra work for dad but oh well).

If the kids are old enough to understand what mother's day is, just explain mother's day is the day when mom is "Queen for a day" and she gets to skip her chores and goof off.

And the Sookie series is an AWESOME way to spend that day!

I'd also do it a different day. My kids enjoy making breakfast in bed, doing cleaning for me, etc on Mother's Day. DH does the cooking and the kids have a good time. I do enjoy that. I'd ask for a different day as well.

This is coming from someone who recently had a weekend away and loved it. Not selfish at all!

[kransden]

Not selfish at all but I would choose another day than Mother's Day to have your mini-vaca. My family would be hurt if I said I wanted to spend it away from them but I doubt they would bat an eye if I asked for a night solo in a month (or whenever).
:yeahthat:

I wouldn't do it Mother's Day weekend either, but later - SURE! I even plan to ;)

[TwinFoxes]

See, to me, that's the opposite of the point of mother's day..... it's an appreciation of all you do and all you sacrifice and you're supposed to spend it doing stuff for them and sacrificing your own desires in place of theirs?


See to me this is up there with Bridezilla "it's my day!" behavior. Yeah, it's your day, but it doesn't mean you should discount your loved ones' feelings (not saying you do).

[maestramommy]

Selfish?? uh, no I don't think so:p I usually do ask for a day alone for MD. I probably won't ask for one this year, since Laurel's still so young. And I have a ton of yard work I want to tackle:loveeyes:

[sunshine873]

Not selfish at all but I would choose another day than Mother's Day to have your mini-vaca. My family would be hurt if I said I wanted to spend it away from them but I doubt they would bat an eye if I asked for a night solo in a month (or whenever).

My thoughts exactly. & beyond my family being hurt, I don't want to miss out on that day with them. I've always felt that it should be a family day and I want to be on the receiving end of a little appreciation and pampering. :) But I think it would be perfectly appropriate for you to make your desires for a mini-vacation known, and that could be your "gift" on Mother's Day...for you to cash in on the following weekend, or next month...whatever works for you.

[MomToOne]

I have wanted to do this since last year (my first). The logistics though is what I can't figure out, most hotels don't let you check in until 3 or 4. I'm only looking for an afternoon off, not looking for an overnight (yet).

So would I book it Sat in order to use it Sun? But then I'd have to check out in the Sun morning, no? Book it for two days to use it for a couple of hours? :dizzy:

Hm, maybe next year.

[gatorsmom]

I have wanted to do this since last year (my first). The logistics though is what I can't figure out, most hotels don't let you check in until 3 or 4. I'm only looking for an afternoon off, not looking for an overnight (yet).

So would I book it Sat in order to use it Sun? But then I'd have to check out in the middle of the afternoon on Sun, defeating the purpose. :dizzy:

Hm, maybe next year.

THIS is an excellent point. Which is why I might need TWO nights in a hotel. :ROTFLMAO:

[Corie]

I asked the exact same question a few months back.

http://www.windsorpeak.com/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=345292

[wellyes]

See to me this is up there with Bridezilla "it's my day!" behavior. Yeah, it's your day, but it doesn't mean you should discount your loved ones' feelings (not saying you do).Oh, I could see that. It's just never been an issue in my house - no hurt feelings. DH get plenty of weekends or weekend days to do his stuff. Ski trips, stuff like that. I never really ask to reciprocate since I generally don't want a whole day away from DD. But if I asked to spend Mother's Day alone and it hurt his feelings?? I'd really be POed about that.

I can also see the fun of having mother's day at home if the kids want to do a breakfast in bed kind of thing and you can play up the getting pampered bit.

I guess it depends on the kids ages. I've only ever had a baby / toddler so for me so far Mother's Day is about DH & I. DD has no idea.

[Elilly]

If it were me, I'd leave on Saturday and meet my family at chuch Sunday morning. That way, DH would have time to have the kids sign cards, pick out a gift etc. while I was away. Our kids are a little older now, so I don't "need" this, but I am going on a girls only cruise later this year for fun ;)

[jent]

I have wanted to do this since last year (my first). The logistics though is what I can't figure out, most hotels don't let you check in until 3 or 4. I'm only looking for an afternoon off, not looking for an overnight (yet).

So would I book it Sat in order to use it Sun? But then I'd have to check out in the Sun morning, no? Book it for two days to use it for a couple of hours? :dizzy:

Hm, maybe next year.

If that's what you're after, look into a day spa. Last summer when I was vacationing with my sister, she found a spa where we had use of the facilities (pool, hot tub, sauna) for the day included with the cost of a massage. The facilities were fabulous but actually the best part of the day was curling up with a book on the lounger by the pool.

Too bad that place is a 4 hour drive from where I am now... I would totally love to go back there for Mother's Day, or any day.

[WatchingThemGrow]

After our visit with some GPs at the beach this weekend, where I continued to take care of 3 kids, plus cooking for all 7 of us, then cleaning the huge beach house, etc. I was starting to fall apart on the drive home. DH actually SUGGESTED I take some time off to do something by myself. Your DH probably knows you've given a LOT this year and need to recharge.

I'm not sure if I want to be totally alone or with a friend or two for part of the time.

[niccig]

This post has inspired me to take time for myself. DH has an annual golf weekend with his college buddies and I often have something in the same year where I get away for a day or two. Last year I didn't have anything and this year I don't as well. So, I just told DH that I'm going to take a day and stay at a hotel either just before or just after his golf weekend. I love the idea of combining it with a spa certificate. Go to the spa in the afternoon, have a massage, soak in hot tub etc, get to hotel once you can check in, order room service, read or watch a movie, SLEEP IN, have breakfast and then go window shopping. Home after lunch.

[gatorsmom]

This post has inspired me to take time for myself. DH has an annual golf weekend with his college buddies and I often have something in the same year where I get away for a day or two. Last year I didn't have anything and this year I don't as well. So, I just told DH that I'm going to take a day and stay at a hotel either just before or just after his golf weekend. I love the idea of combining it with a spa certificate. Go to the spa in the afternoon, have a massage, soak in hot tub etc, get to hotel once you can check in, order room service, read or watch a movie, SLEEP IN, have breakfast and then go window shopping. Home after lunch.

This sounds wonderful. And you even have time for a book. :)

[egoldber]

I do a girls weekend every year. Usually it's a 3 day weekend if I can swing it! :p I look forward to it all.year.long.

I wouldn't do it on Mother's Day though because like PP said, it's a big deal to my kids to have me there and to do their "kid thing".

[nov04]

Not selfish at all but I would choose another day than Mother's Day to have your mini-vaca. My family would be hurt if I said I wanted to spend it away from them but I doubt they would bat an eye if I asked for a night solo in a month (or whenever).

Another ita!!!!!

[lchang25000]

I celebrated Mother's Day early this last weekend and stayed overnight at a hotel. DH got me a package with a massage, room service, chocolate covered strawberries and sparkling cider upon arrival. I also got to sleep and watch tv without any interruption. It was HEAVENLY and I enjoyed it SOOOOOOOOOO MUCH! His parent are coming to visit us this weekend so we decided to do it this past weekend. I'm sure we will celebrate it again this weekend, as a big happy family!

[mamicka]

No. I would love this as a gift. But I probably wouldn't want to do it on Mother's Day itself.