BFing 17-mo-old wants it all the time...HELP!

[julevizamom]

DD2 is still BFing, the longest I've gone with any of my three kids. I didn't have a pre-set cutoff date, was planning to play it by ear. But, just recently, she started demanding the boob all the time. She just comes over and starts pulling at my shirt. I usually just give in, which I'm not sure is a good thing, b/c it will only increase my supply, making it harder to stop down the line. I have no idea why she'd be wanting it more often all of a sudden, or what to do about it. Anyone BTDT? I need some ideas!

[egoldber]

My younger DD nursed until just recently (she hasn't asked to nurse in about 5 days). She always went through phases where she wanted to nurse more or less.

Once she was no longer an infant, I felt it was totally fine to put restrictions on her nursing that made me more comfortable. We ony nursed at home, in certain locations and at certain times of day. She may not like those limits, but if you want to do extended nursing, it will probably help you to start setting some limits that make it work for you as well as her. :)

[BeachBum]

Once she was no longer an infant, I felt it was totally fine to put restrictions on her nursing that made me more comfortable. We ony nursed at home, in certain locations and at certain times of day. She may not like those limits, but if you want to do extended nursing, it will probably help you to start setting some limits that make it work for you as well as her. :)

Yes, we too have some pretty set limits. I just couldn't continue to nurse on demand--I would rather wean....So this is a good compromise for us. I do notice that when the boys are tired (twins) they will come pull on my shirt etc.
Maybe she is feeling overwhelmed / insecure? (typicall toddler stuff) and if so maybe some cuddles will do the trick?

[JTsMom]

Once she was no longer an infant, I felt it was totally fine to put restrictions on her nursing that made me more comfortable. We ony nursed at home, in certain locations and at certain times of day. She may not like those limits, but if you want to do extended nursing, it will probably help you to start setting some limits that make it work for you as well as her. :)
:yeahthat: Limits are definitely key, imo, as they get older. DS was closer to 2 when I started getting strict about limits, but I don't think that 17 months is necessarily too early to start with something. Good nursing manners are very important as well.

She may just be going through a phase where she needs more mommy, as opposed to nursing necessarily. Can you offer more snuggling, etc?

I personally wouldn't worry about supply too much at this point, unless you're planning on weaning cold turkey in the near future. As she tapers off, your supply will naturally go back down.

[m448]

I've found all of my kids go through an increased frequency stage around 15 months. After a few months they went back to less fervor about nursing and were too busy during the day to nurse except for a handful of times.

Although I agree that manners are always a good thing to teach. I've always redirected the kids from tugging/pulling to signing or saying nursies.

[tiapam]

At some point DD started demanding more nursing sessions but I think she was older. I didn't necessarily mind the extra sessions but I wanted to keep them short. So about 2-5 minutes after she started on one side, I would say, "other side" and we would switch and then she could stay on the other side longer. She had no objections to this and it worked for me, too.

[MommyofAmaya]

I am right there with you. Sebastian is 21months and if we are home he tries to nurse ALL DAY, so we try to keep busy. It is starting to get HOT here in TX though, so I don't know how long we can keep it up. We also cosleep so he nurses all night too. I'm really at the end of my rope. I am determined to night wean him ASAP b/c he has cavities. Good luck. I'll be watching this thread.

[MamaSnoo]

I started a thread almost identical to this a few months ago. I got a lot of great support and suggestions, as well as links, that might help you.

http://www.windsorpeak.com/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=345913

FWIW, we are still nursing. She practically self-weaned at night within 2 weeks of me starting the thread. After she skipped 2 nights in a row once, I just kept telling her I loved her, and she could nurse in the am. She was fine with that and we never had a hard night......I started to set limits during the day a few weeks later. We backed off by one feed a day to a very set schedule until we were down to am and pm. When she skipped a couple ams, I did the same thing and told her we could cuddle & she could have it at bedtime. She still asks for it in the am sometimes, but has never cried.

So, now it is bedtime only. I can handle that. I do not feel as tired and overwhelmed as I did before. I know she will wean fully at some point; I think I will take it in her time. She has noticed that I have less milk, and she does not nurse as long as she used to.

Anyway, the response I got were really helpful to me! HTH!

[Katigre]

It's very normal for a 17-18 month old nursling to all of a sudden start wanting to nurse like a newborn again. When that happens, you have a few options:

1. Nurse frequently, when they ask. That is totally fine to do - but I think if you choose this path, you need to choose it freely and without resentment. If you're halfway about it, that will make things harder in the long run. Know that this is a stage that doesn't last forever, usually just a month or two. When DS was 18 months and went through this phase I nursed on demand and didn't mind (except when we were out and busy somewhere and then I'd put him off until later).

2. Set nursing limits. This is also a totally ok thing to do - but if you do this you must be consistent. You could set up a rhythm of nursing "Only in the red chair" "Only before and after naptime/bedtime"' "Only for the time it takes to sing the ABC's and then we're done". Basically, you decide to limit either frequency or duration of each feeding. The important thing here is to be consistent and to offer alternate means of comfort and cuddling if you don't nurse as often. And also be prepared for big feelings/tantrums about it and helping your child move through those.

3. NURSING MANNERS - this goes for whichever approach you take. I don't let my nursing babies or toddlers pull on my shirt to ask to nurse - it's rude. When they do that, I redirect their hands and instead model asking "Could I have mommy milk please?" and then give it to them. I am very consistent about this b/c I know I nurse for several years and I want a template in place of politeness and respect for my body in the midst of that.

I really like the book Mothering Your Nursing Toddler (http://www.amazon.com/Mothering-Nursing-Toddler-Norma-Bumgarner/dp/0912500522/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1272915637&sr=8-1), it had a lot of helpful insight and advice on nursing through different stages of toddlerhood and beyond :).

[julevizamom]

Thanks so much for all the great advice, mommas. I especially like the idea of nursing manners, and will start training her right away. And the old thread was helpful as well. It's always nice to know there are others out there who have been through/are going through the same things!