Help me sleeptrain my baby (nursing all night long)

[marit]

I can't believe this is my third baby and I still haven't figured it out :(

Our third baby is the first one I put in our bed at night (and the last). She is 8 months old and nurses 4-5 times a night. It's got to stop! She has a cradle next to my bed (which she is outgrowing as we speak). I now nurse her sitting up so that we won't fall asleep attached, and I put her back in her cradle.

My issue is that she eats so much at night I don't feel I can just go "cold turkey" with these feedings because she'll be hungry. She eats less during the day because of that.

How do I gradually wean her from night feedings? I read somewhere that I need to do that first before the actual "sleep training".

I need some "system" or rule for the gradual weaning. I am so tired I can't come up with one myself.

Thank you!

[PMJ]

I am by no means an expert .... but here are some things I have tried (from Doc's suggestions and others)

1) Does she have her own room she can start sleeping in? She might be waking up b/c she "smells" the milk. She probably is not really hungry. I remember reading somewhere that 85-90% of infants will still drink milk at night if it is offered, even though they are not hungry.

{ We moved DD upstairs about 2.5 months ago and I do notice a difference in her sleep. She still does wake up 1-2 times a night, usually at 11:30 pm and again around 3, but it is way better than clock work every 3 hours }.



2) What is the longest time (hours) she has gone through the night? Often, they say if a baby can sleep for ex. from 10 pm - 4 am one night, that you should NOT feed them again during this time period b/c they don't need it. It's hard, but maybe DH can go in to sooth her back to sleep and not you.

3) Have you tried reading Dr. Weissbluth's book - Healthy Sleep, Happy Child?



I often find myself "nursing" my baby to sleep just b/c it is easier, but I also feel it is not the right thing to do, b/c I am not teaching DD to "fall back asleep" and giving her the confidence that she can do it by herself.

good luck !!

[m448]

that's a common growth spurt time:

http://www.kellymom.com/bf/normal/growth-spurt.html

Is there a reason you don't want her to fall asleep attached? Breastmilk naturally makes baby drowsy.

[marit]

Thanks girls.

1. I have read Weissbluth many times...
2. She is indeed hungry because she doesn't eat much during the day. This will work itself out when we change the schedule I just rather do it gradually.
3. It's not a growth spurt, she's been doing it since she was 4 months old.
4. I don't want her to fall asleep attached because while it was cute for a while I am overtired. I still have to wake up numerous times during the night to change sides and sometimes I can't go back to sleep so fast.

[reissgirl]

Unfortunately, there's no magic answer but I really know how you feel. I think a good tactic for at least partial night weaning is to try your best to nurse her more during the day. She's needs a certain number of calories over a 24 hour period, and she's going to take them at night if she's not getting them during the day (as you mentioned). Since you have two other little ones, I imagine that it can be hard to find the time to help the baby have good, focused feedings. But, at 8 months, maybe she'd be willing to do a few longer feedings during daylight hours so you can catch a few more Zs at night. Are you sure she's transferring a lot of milk at night? She may just be sucking for comfort, even though there may not be a lot of milk. Do you hear frequent gulping and swallowing? If she's not getting a lot of milk, then at least your concerns about her nighttime hunger can be slightly assuaged. Then the tricky part is that she's really seeking out "mommy time" at night. Hmph. Either way, I think you need to assess how you're feeling and what you can handle. I don't think you necessarily need to night wean before sleep training - think about your daughter's temperament and your level of exhaustion to figure out what will work best for you. We ultimately did Ferber's method at 7 months (Weissbluth wasn't a good fit for us and Pantley didn't work for us) but didn't completely night wean DS until 15 months (still nursed twice a night). Something to consider is having your husband soothe her at night. I know it usually seems easiest to just nurse her back to sleep, but I found it impossible for me to soothe DS without nursing. He initially protested any sort of comforting from my husband, but it was impossible for me to go to him in the middle of the night without milk being "demanded" from me. Sigh, I hope your sleepless nights are soon resolved!

[maestramommy]

My third baby was like that. At 10+ months she's finally waking only once. Sometimes not at all. For me I finally had to start letting her CIO during the earlier wakings. It was hard at first because I'm using to popping up and going in (she sleeps in her own room next door), but when I did, I was surprised that she didn't really cry much at all, and went back to sleep. I started out by saying I wouldn't go to her before 1:30, then 3:30, then 4:30. I also make sure she is getting enough during the day. I actually did that first, THEN started cutting back the nighttime feedings. :hug: It is so hard when you are dead tired all the time.

[wendibird22]

I recommend the Jay Gordon method. It's written from the perspective of cosleeping, but easily works with other sleeping arrangements. He recommends this for 12mos or older but I think you could certainly use it as a guide.

http://drjaygordon.com/attachment/sleeppattern.html

I found that once I got DD1 to just one night feeding I was much more rested and a happier person and ended up not completely night weaning. Going from 3-4x's a night to 1-2x's a night was an amazing difference.

[marit]

I recommend the Jay Gordon method. It's written from the perspective of cosleeping, but easily works with other sleeping arrangements. He recommends this for 12mos or older but I think you could certainly use it as a guide.

http://drjaygordon.com/attachment/sleeppattern.html

I found that once I got DD1 to just one night feeding I was much more rested and a happier person and ended up not completely night weaning. Going from 3-4x's a night to 1-2x's a night was an amazing difference.

This is a good article, thank you.

I am still on the fence about what to do with this issue. I an not trying to go 12 hours with no feedings, I will take one feeding a night with both hands! I actually remember enjoying feeding my first baby once a night for a long time. But the 4-5 times a night thing is just going to put me in a mental hospital soon.

Tonight was horrible. DH is helping me. She spent 1/2 the night in his arms, only to start crying again the minute he puts her down. The second 1/2 was spend nursing.