If nearby, do you see your mom for mother's day?

[wendibird22]

Both my mom and MIL live close by. In the past, we've had both mom over the house for brunch or dinner on mom's day. This year, MIL is not back from snowbirding in FL yet, so that leaves us with just my mom. My bro is 2hrs away and I can bet money he has no intentions of doing anything with her. So, I always get stuck with the feeling of obligation to do something with/for her. The thing is, I'm a mom of 2 and I feel entitled to enjoy my own mother's day with my own children. Plus I worked last weekend and have to work next weekend, so this is the only weekend where I can relax and enjoy myself.

If your mom is close by do you always do something for/with her on Mother's Day? Does that statute of limitations run out on Mother's Day once your own kids have kids?

[infomama]

Yes. Both my mom and MIL live close and I have always celebrated with them. Now this year is going to be different since MIL is unavailable so my mom gave me the go ahead (which was important to me) to have mother's day on Saturday with her and Sunday with just my family.
Another thought is to go our for brunch/dinner. That way you don't have to cater.

[lmh2402]

yep, my mom lives close by and we have always celebrated together - all my siblings are in attendance, but i'm the oldest and the only one married.

this is only my second mother's day as a mom myself, so perhaps my story will change over time

but for now, i couldn't imagine not seeing my mom

[almostamom]

We always spend Mother's Day with my mom. Her birthday is on the 7th, so it's a joint celebration. This year we're going out for dinner instead of having it at one of our houses which will be a nice change. I have two MILs, but they both live 500 miles away.

Linda

[buddyleebaby]

We don't go every year, but I do try to go once every couple of years.
On the years we are staying home, we will go visit her some other day close to mother's day.
This year, she is coming to my house and bringing my grandma and I will host a mother's day lunch for them and another dear friend who is like a second mother to me, and Dh and I will celebrate mother's day for me on Monday.
We live a little over two hours from my mom.

[pinkmomagain]

Yes, always both mom and MIL. I've said it before in other threads, but, when my kids are grown and outta the house and dh & I are in our empty nest, I'd like to think my girls will take the time to spend Mother's Day with me. Doesn't necessarily mean that day, but that weekend.


eta: Not to the mention the fact that we feel fortunate to still have our moms with us and want to take advantage of that fact to spend time with them.

[bnme]

When they were close by yes. My parents moved to Florida over a year ago and MIL passed away 5 years ago. So now we do get the day to ourselves but it is kind of sad to me. My parents always celebrated with their parents and aunts and any other family moms nearby so that is what we did when our moms were here. I would cook and everyone would come to my house or we'd stop by each mom's house. And not leave out Grandma when she was still here.

I would not be against making exceptions sometimes to do something special with just my family and celebrate with everyoe else another day. But as a rule I think it is a larger celebration and not just 'my day'.

That being said, my mom and my MIL have always acknowledged me on MD too. I know some people whose mom's don't give their daughter's acknowledgment on MD and I think that is weird.

[JoyNChrist]

We always stop by both my mom and MIL's house, but it's not for lunch or anything special - we just visit for an hour or so and bring their gifts. Now this weekend we're actually moving so I don't know if we'll make it, but if not we'll get together next week sometime.

[wendibird22]

You are all correct. I should do something for my mom. I think my problem is that I resent that my brother NEVER does anything for/with family for any holiday. So, Xmas, new year's, Easter, etc, etc, all fall on me. If I don't extend the invite to mom, dear bro won't, and she'll spend the day alone. I had to beg him to host Xmas because DD2 was due Xmas eve and I wasn't about to host.

Of course I don't want my mom to be alone for this or any holiday, but instead of feeling enjoyment from spending time with my mom each holiday I end up feeling obligated. I think if my bro took a turn once and a while I wouldn't feel like I do.

Hmm...off to figure out what to do for fun with my mom...

[lchang25000]

I would every year if they lived close by. My in-laws are actually coming for a 2 week visit this weekend so we'll be celebrating MD with them.

[dhano923]

Yes, I usually take her to lunch that day.

I figure it this way: just like I would like to spend time with my kids on Mother's Day, she would like to spend time with hers. My brother and his family live with them so she spends much more time with them than with me and my family.

I spend the morning with my kids, then take her to lunch, and then we usually all meet up and do something in the afternoon/for dinner.

[almostmom]

I was going to post about this. We are having both my mom and MIL over on Sunday. And though I love them both, I do feel like I am in the more active mothering mode these days, and its hard to feel like it's a day when I'm appreciated when I am cooking and cleaning for them. I know the kids will do breakfast in bed for me, because they love doing that. But I would ideally love a family day when they all take care of a lot of the household things! That said, it's nice that everyone is within an hour or so and can make the drive, so I feel bad complaining. It just feels like another event I'm planning and doing, with the biggest benefit being that I will have a clean house by Sunday, which needs to be done!

So I hear ya. I don't think there's any limit on Mother's Day. My mom definitely still thinks it's about her! And, yes, she's a great mom...

[AJP]

We are close enough to see both my mom and MIL for Mother's Day. I'll take the girls to my mom first and then over to MIL's with flowers and cards. Unfortunately for me DH will be working a long, busy day at his restaurant, so it will be me and the girls solo for the 2nd year. :( My favorite Mother's Day was one year (pre babies) that we had a bbq for our immediate families. It was nice to stay home, cook out and enjoy our moms together. Hope everyone has a great day!

[C99]

My mom does not live nearby. But every year, I say to my husband: please do not make me drive to the ILs' house. And every year he says: please do not make me chose between my wife and my mother. Compounding the issue is that my DH's birthday is right after Mother's Day every year (sometimes it has been ON the day), so it turns into a combo Mother's Day/birthday celebration. So every year, we compromise. The morning to early afternoon is my time as matriarch and the mid-afternoon to evening is my MIL's time.

[maestramommy]

When we used to live within commuting distance, we would see my parents for Mothers Day for lunch or something. But after the kids started coming we would see them the day before. Take them out to lunch. We went to different churches and MD is always a big deal, and we are both always rather busy then. One year my church had a mother/daughter tea the day before, so I brought Dora and invited my mom. Our current church has a mother/daughter banquet every year, and one of these days I hope to actually make it. It's always at 6:30, the worst possible time at our house:p I was thinking of taking MIL since she is arriving that day for a visit, but she's recovering from surgery so I think we'll just stay in again.

[mommylamb]

This is my first year since becoming an adult that my mom will be close by, and we plan on doing MD with my parents. Fortunately for me, we don't get torn between my mother and DH's mother because DH's mother lives in England (and mom's day is a totally different date there anyway).

Even though I'm a mom, I still think of mother's day as if it's about my mother and not me. I'm not sure why though.

[mecawa]

We always do something with my mom and my MIL on that weekend. We might see one of them one day and the other the next day, or both on the same day.

[ewpmsw]

We usually celebrate with my mother and MIL on Mother's Day. MIL requested that we split time with her and my folks this weekend, but we declined - Too much to divide up in one day with a small child and all of the other things we have going on. It's all or nothing for the time being. Haven't heard back from her, so I guess she's coming, but who knows. She's started pushing for us to stop having most holidays at our house, which started when DD was born and isn't likely to stop until our kids are a little older.

[hellokitty]

I understand your situation, since both DH and I have been, "ditched" with the parents (all of our siblings moved out of state after we moved BACK in state), so we always feel obligated to invite them to holiday things, so they do not feel forgotten. In the ideal world, my mom, my mil and myself could all go out to a nice luncheon or tea and get along fantastically. However, IRL it is quite the opposite. My mom and dad are going to go golfing (my mom didn't say so, but we invited them over and I will bet $100 my dad wants to go golfing, so that is why my mom turned down our invitation today) and my mil, I have no clue. She always wants to be top dog, so I LOATHE spending time with her, esp mother's day. DH is on call, so we can't see anyone unless they want to come to our place. He said he will call his mom with an IOU to take her out to a nice dinner.

[MoJo]

My mom is 3 hours away, and last year (my first mother's day) I went to see her. It was meaningful to her and better for me that feeling sad that DH didn't do anything to celebrate.

This year, I'm not going. I'm 35 weeks pregnant and have contractions while driving. I mailed my mom a card and small gift yesterday. (And I'll still probably be the only one of the three of us who acknowledges the day for my mom, even though my brother lives with her and my sister makes a lot more money than we do.)

I've given DH plenty of notice that Mother's Day is Sunday, but we'll see what happens.

FWIW, my mom's birthday is also in May, but since I can only go on the weekend, I usually go on Mother's Day weekend.

MIL is at least 6 hours away and isn't into any holidays, so that's not an issue for us.

[wendibird22]

Well, things have totally changed since I started this thread the other day. My bro actually called my mom and invited her to meet him and his family for lunch. My mom said she was shocked he offered and I expect to see pigs fly here real soon! So, I'm off the hook for my mom this year (I'm seeing her tomorrow night when she sits for the girls). But get this, the snowbirding ILs who weren't supposed to be back for another 4 or 5 days, arrived back in the state YESTERDAY. So, now instead of doing something w/ my mom we'll be doing something with MIL. And we really can't avoid that, they haven't seen the girls since January and we very much want them to see DD2 who was only a few weeks old when they headed South.

Funny how things change!