20 hour car drive

[saboater]

We are expecting a newborn this fall, and will be traveling for Christmas with an approximately 3 month old. We typically drive this trip to allow for presents, etc., especially since we'll now have all of the baby stuff, too.

What are the logistics for a long drive with feeding, etc.? How long should I expect this to take? Usually we do the drive in two days, with approximately 10 hours on each day. Stop are about every 3-4 hours for gas/food. But are 15-20 minute stops. How much will stopping to feed, etc. realistically add to the travel time?

[rlu]

If you can get the baby to use a bottle before your trip, and you use a breastpump, you don't need to stop to feed the baby.

We drove from TX to CA and back again when DS was 5/6 weeks old. DH drove, I sat in the back of the extended cab with DS and the dogs rode in the covered truck bed (opened windows). I had pumped a little bit before the trip and we bought a portable fridge which worked off the cigarette lighter. Whenever DS would take a bottle of expressed milk, I would pump to keep my supply up. As we were in the truck pumping wasn't too bad since only those in 18 wheelers could really see me and I wore a button up shirt to help shield my body so nobody really saw anything. Whenever we stopped I would wash out the bottles. That night I sterilized the bottles using my sterilizer for use the next day. The only additional stops we made were for diaper changes and to check on the dogs.

eta: this is the fridge I have, it appears they may not make it anymore, but something similar would work, plus I used it at work for storing the milk I pumped each day http://www.amazon.com/Vector-12-Volt-Portable-Fridge-Refridgerator/dp/B000VIO1CO

sterilizer was made by avent - here's a listing http://www.amazon.com/Philips-Avent-iQ24-Steam-Sterilizer/dp/B001C3MHF0/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=baby-products&qid=1273081472&sr=1-1

[saboater]

That makes sense, we never thought about feeding while driving, because we just assumed we'd have to take the baby out of the seat, but I never thought of bottle feeding while riding in back... duh.

[wellyes]

I know you know this but it makes me tired just thinking about it.....two full days of being strapped to a car seat is a long, long time for a 3 month old (and a 3 month old's PARENTS). I'd seriously look into flying if possible. Gifts can be shipped. Since having DD I've only ever flown home to see my folks -- 1.5 hour flight vs 12 hour drive. It's always been well worth the money.

[WatchingThemGrow]

IME, driving with a newborn takes 1/3 longer than normal, and that was with pumping/bottle feeding. For us, flying with a newborn was SO much easier, and that even included dealing with the nursing/pumping/supplementing issues we had with each baby. When we fly, we ask relatives to consider having gifts delivered to our home or give gift cards so we can buy things when we get back home. We also have them buy/borrow/store a pack-n-play so we don't always have to travel with one. You can get by without a ton of stuff with a 3mo, b/c there will be lots more people to hold them and help out.

[catroddick]

We used the pump and bottle feed on a trip from CA-UT and back for Thanksgiving. Worked out great for us.

[saboater]

We will be flying for T-giving. It gets harder for Christmas, since we bring the dogs, too. We are trying to decide which will work better for our longer trip, we do a drive twice a year, once in the summer and once for Christmas typically.
My family is there, while rest of family is here, so it becomes the fun fairness issue. But with my sister and her baby, who will be 14 month old, it'd be hard for all 5 of them to travel including my parents.

[saboater]

Cost is definitely an issue, we are on a fairly tight budget, so every $100 is important.

[rlu]

We will be flying for T-giving. It gets harder for Christmas, since we bring the dogs, too. We are trying to decide which will work better for our longer trip, we do a drive twice a year, once in the summer and once for Christmas typically.
My family is there, while rest of family is here, so it becomes the fun fairness issue. But with my sister and her baby, who will be 14 month old, it'd be hard for all 5 of them to travel including my parents.

I think the drive will be doable with a 3 month old (trying to remember when DS was 3 months). Whoever rides in back with baby is the entertainer but I think it's pretty easy to entertain a 3 month old. Whenever you stop if the baby is awake, take it out of the seat for some wriggle time. Do plan some extra time to let the baby and dogs get the restlessness out, that's all.

[Tondi G]

Being a mommy to 2 boys who hated their car seats I wouldn't dream of making a trip longer than a few hours in the car when my kids were 3 months old. They would have screamed the entire way! I might be inclined to skip the trip at Christmas time this year.... I would hope family would understand since you'll have an infant.

[saboater]

I think family would understand, but at the same time I'm really close to my family, and not excited about not seeing them, nor allowing them to see their new grandchild, especially since they will get to see him or her so seldom anyway.
Not going home for Christmas is not a precedent that we plan to start.
I may be naive, but some part of me also believes even if the baby isn't comfy with the carseat before-hand, they'll figure it out by the end of the trip.
The baby will be riding daily beforehand to daycare 20-30 minutes twice a day as well, so it will have to learn, or he or she will unfortunately cry quite a bit.

[okinawama]

When my car seat hating son was 11 weeks old we went on a 14 hour car trip. It was tough, but in the end, it was totally worth it.

He was completely bottle fed, so feeding wasn't an issue. I tried to stay on a Eat, Awake sleep schedule, and he ate in the car and then we took a 20-30 minute brake during his awake time, and then we tried to get him to sleep. I did find that swaddling him while in the car seat helped (he was swaddled whenever he slept at home), we also pulled the car seat shade down so he wouldn't have as much visual stimulus.

There was plenty of crying unfortunately, but we all made it :) Good luck and enjoy your time with family.

[KrisM]

I think family would understand, but at the same time I'm really close to my family, and not excited about not seeing them, nor allowing them to see their new grandchild, especially since they will get to see him or her so seldom anyway.
Not going home for Christmas is not a precedent that we plan to start.
I may be naive, but some part of me also believes even if the baby isn't comfy with the carseat before-hand, they'll figure it out by the end of the trip.
The baby will be riding daily beforehand to daycare 20-30 minutes twice a day as well, so it will have to learn, or he or she will unfortunately cry quite a bit.

My 12 month old screamed for about 8.5 hours on the way home from NH to MI. He was much better on the way out to NH the week before. He was just trully sick and tired of being in the car. The only thing that helped a bit was for me to sing and to put my hand on him (I can't sit by him because we have 3 kids in a Malibu). He was great on the short 30 minute trips and even the 1 hour trips to my parents. Those are really no comparison for 2 full days in the car.

I agree about it taking about 1/3 longer with that age of child. We used to drive to Boston and pre-kids it was 12-13 hours. When DS1 was 2.5 months, it took about 17 hours. We have NH down to 15 now that they're a bit older, but it's only a 12 hour trip as well.

For DS1's first car trip, I did pump, but I couldn't pump enough for the full trip, so there was still a lot of stopping to nurse him. I remember sitting in the car on some very dark, dirt road in Canada. Nothing at the exit, so we just turned down the road and parked. Not my idea of fun, but it worked!

We used to travel at Christmas time, but once we had kids we stopped doing that. For us, we wanted our family to have our own traditions of being home and doing things together for Christmas. And, since none of DH's family ever travels, that means we don't seem them at holidays. It would be nice if we could, but it is more important to us that our kids enjoy their time off from school and have some good family time. We travel to family at other times of the year, so they do see family. This is what works for us, and I know others always spend Christmas elsewhere and it works for them. Just thought I'd put it out there.

[tiapam]

We are expecting a newborn this fall, and will be traveling for Christmas with an approximately 3 month old. We typically drive this trip to allow for presents, etc., especially since we'll now have all of the baby stuff, too.

What are the logistics for a long drive with feeding, etc.? How long should I expect this to take? Usually we do the drive in two days, with approximately 10 hours on each day. Stop are about every 3-4 hours for gas/food. But are 15-20 minute stops. How much will stopping to feed, etc. realistically add to the travel time?

So this is your first/only child? I am all for close families, but I would not do the Thanksgiving trip and then the Christmas trip. I would choose one (probably Christmas) and fly if possible. DD was born in early October and we drove about half as far at Christmas. Any earlier would have been hard for me but I did have a C section. I recall DD slept a lot but also had to eat a lot. She would not take a bottle so it was all breastfeeding. Sorry if overstepping but you just might not be up to it, especially with dogs, though if you are, hats off to you!

[saboater]

Yes, this is the first child. I've been considering dropping Thanksgiving, how tired do you stay after giving non-cs birth?

[WatchingThemGrow]

Yes, this is the first child. I've been considering dropping Thanksgiving, how tired do you stay after giving non-cs birth?
Depends on how long your baby sleeps at night. One of ours slept 5-6 hours straight when she was 2 mos old. I felt like a new person the next day. She was tanked up on formula though, because we had milk supply/feeding issues.

I think it would be really, really hard on everyone to spend two 15 hour days in the car, then a few days with family, then two more 15 hour days going home. I say 15 b/c it WILL take longer with an infant who has a blowout, spits up, needs to be held, plus parents who are sleep-deprived, most likely. We visit my family 2x/year by plane and ask them to come to us at least 1x/year, more if they can.

[SnuggleBuggles]

Yes, this is the first child. I've been considering dropping Thanksgiving, how tired do you stay after giving non-cs birth?

Very tired though you find a way to function after not too long.

I would also skip one of them and create your own family traditions at home.

Beth

[Jelly Bean]

I have a 9 mo DD and we went to Florida for Thanksgiving when she was 3.5 mo. We flew. Before she was born, DH and I agreed that we would have her and then decide what to do about our annual Thanksgiving trip - drive, fly or not go.

I think the underlying point to what everyone is saying is that you just don't know until you have the baby. He/she might be fussy, hate car seats, have acid reflux, etc. I am still so tired 9 mo later that I myself couldn't bear a 20+ hour drive!

I say wait until you have the baby and then decide. Oh and we didn't go anywhere for Christmas last year because everyone offered to come to us! They were sooooo understanding about us having an infant and wanted to see her so they were happy to come.

[saboater]

I have a 9 mo DD and we went to Florida for Thanksgiving when she was 3.5 mo. We flew. Before she was born, DH and I agreed that we would have her and then decide what to do about our annual Thanksgiving trip - drive, fly or not go.

I think the underlying point to what everyone is saying is that you just don't know until you have the baby. He/she might be fussy, hate car seats, have acid reflux, etc. I am still so tired 9 mo later that I myself couldn't bear a 20+ hour drive!

I say wait until you have the baby and then decide. Oh and we didn't go anywhere for Christmas last year because everyone offered to come to us! They were sooooo understanding about us having an infant and wanted to see her so they were happy to come.


The hard part is that I miss seeing my extended family, especially grandparents in their mid-80's who can't travel this far. I can't get away again until summer if I miss Christmas.

We may have to wait and see how we feel for the trips.

[larig]

We did a 23 hour car trip (straight through) with an 18 month old DS and a 11 year old dog. We have to drive because the dog won't go to a kennel (won't eat). We just left at DS's bedtime. I drove all night, so by the time DS woke up we had already done about 1/2 the trip. We didn't make the same trip when he was 6 months old, but I think if we had it wouldn't have been too bad. We did rent a minivan for the trip, so we all had plenty of room to stretch our legs. DS did great. Sure he was tired of being in the car by the end of the trip, but we kept him entertained and it's even easier to entertain a 3 month old (who really will be sleeping a whole lot still).

I'm certainly in the minority on this, but if you plan well, it can be done, and you'll survive. You'd feel a lot worse if you didn't go and missed out on seeing some of your older family members. And I totally understand about wanting to take the dogs too, driving is your only option. I know I'd want to be there, and totally understand why you want to make it work.

[wellyes]

The hard part is that I miss seeing my extended family, especially grandparents in their mid-80's who can't travel this far. I can't get away again until summer if I miss Christmas.

I understand, same here. I do like the suggestion to pick Thanksgiving OR Christmas. That is a very very normal transition once you have your own child. People will understand.