Can someone help me to explain the not sitting in a carseat too long issue to DBF

[sunnyside]

Before he gets thoroughly annoyed with me.

I was hoping to get a stroller that the baby can go in from day one, but we'd decided to get a Maclaren Easy Traveler and now when I bring it up, he thinks I'm nuts for not wanting to walk through the park in it. I'm not sure there is anything truly wrong with using the Mac ET for a few months until she can go in the Bob, but I know nothing. I'm a rookie.

Can someone just tell me what the issue is so I can tell him. The only thing I can say is she might get a flat head and when I say that, he wants to know the difference between likelihood of getting a flat head in the car seat and a flat head lying flat in the stroller. I have to admit it sounds like hogwash.

Thanks!

[SnuggleBuggles]

There is a valid study about baby's airway being restricted while in the carseat position. It is an issue for babies more at risk (preemies...) but it makes me personally want to limit carseat time to when in the car. I really had no trouble transferring baby from car to carrier or stroller and around the neighborhood I wouldn't go get the carseat to take a walk.

In the stroller the baby has more ways to move around and hold their head so there is less flat head chance. Again, the flat head issue wasn't my motivation for not using the carseat when out for walks though.

Beth

[wellyes]

I've seen babies wearing helmets to try to reshape their heads due to the 'flat head' thing and it's not good. Having said that, I don't think a walk in the park with a Snap-and-Go type stroller will do any harm at all. I used a stroller like that with newborn DD often even though I had a bassinet. She HATED lying flat on her back from day 1.

It is definitely unwise to leave a baby in a carseat for a very long time: drive to the grocery store, keep the baby in the car seat propped in the cart while walking around the store, then drive to the mall, put baby in car seat stroller for an hour or two there, prop up a bottle while he's in the seat to feed him, drive home, the baby's sleeping so just bring the car seat into the house and leave it on the floor for another few hours. That happens, but it's obviously not good. Babies do need to be held, they do need tummy time, they do need to interact with their parents. For head shape, for emotional / social / intellectual development, and simply to be HAPPY.

But being in a car seat or being in a car seat stroller is not at all inherently dangerous or a cause of flat-head syndrome. Just spend way more time holding the LO (in your arms or in a baby carrier) than having him strapped into the seat and you'll be fine.

[hobie]

I never used a bucket seat with DS#3. He went straight into a convertable, and I wore him in a carrier while running errends, or running after his older brothers. A good carrier is way easier than dealing with a stroller or bucket seat.

[arivecchi]

I never used a bucket seat with DS#3. He went straight into a convertable, and I wore him in a carrier while running errends, or running after his older brothers. A good carrier is way easier than dealing with a stroller or bucket seat. Word.

As PP said, it is very important to limit the use of an infant bucket. I am a big fan of car seats are for cars, but I think limited use of an infant bucket outside the car is fine. I much preferred a stroller with a full recline and my baby carrier for my boys when they were infants.

[TwinFoxes]

they do need tummy time, they do need to interact with their parents. For head shape, for emotional / social / intellectual development, and simply to be HAPPY.

But being in a car seat or being in a car seat stroller is not at all inherently dangerous or a cause of flat-head syndrome. Just spend way more time holding the LO (in your arms or in a baby carrier) than having him strapped into the seat and you'll be fine.

I agree with this. I'm pretty sure flat head syndrome, which is pretty uncommon, is caused by other factors like not enough tummy time, and possibly other disorders. But I think you should ask your ped. Your DBF may be right, and you might be arguing over nothing. Or you could be right, and you'll have the ped to back you up.

[ShanaMama]

I agree with this. I'm pretty sure flat head syndrome, which is pretty uncommon, is caused by other factors like not enough tummy time, and possibly other disorders. But I think you should ask your ped. Your DBF may be right, and you might be arguing over nothing. Or you could be right, and you'll have the ped to back you up.

ITA with Twinfoxes & WellYes. It's not the carseat per se, it's the practice of not moving the baby, changing position, interacting with the baby. Truly, 'back to sleep' increases the flat heads but it's worth the trade off in decreased Sids risk.
I went to meet a potential babysitter for DD2- in home daycare. When I saw at least one kid just chilling in the carseat & I was told she'd keep my baaby in the carseat on the table (!!) to keep her safe from the toddlers I knew to run the other way.

[Piglet]

It is also about moderation. If you are walking out the door of your house and can put baby right in the stroller or in a carrier, do that. If you are running into the bank, baby is asleep in the car seat, then pop the whole thing out and do that.

The difference between the car seat and the stroller is the cramped quarters of the car seat and the angle. Compare trying to sleep on an airplane vs. trying to sleep in a bed. No matter how small the bed, it is still WAY easier to get comfy in it that on an airplane seat, YKWIM? You have a lot more room to turn your neck, etc. when you are in a bed. In a carseat, baby is kept "in position" to keep them safe, so there is no room to really stretch out.

Re: asking the ped - honestly I have never had a ped that was up-to-date on car seat issues. Great peds and all, but no ideal of the latest car seat news,

[KrisM]

For me, I did use the Snap N Go at the beginning, but he was never in the car, so I didn't feel bad about a 15 minute walk using the carseat as a stroller. He got plenty of tummy time and being held, I just didn't want another stroller at the beginning and since we didn't drive very many places, I used that.

With my other 2, they spent more time in the car and I would carry them on walks instead of using the carseat.

I agree that it'll depend on a lot of things.

[TwinFoxes]

Re: asking the ped - honestly I have never had a ped that was up-to-date on car seat issues. Great peds and all, but no ideal of the latest car seat news,

This may be true (although my ped applauded my decision to keep DDs RF) I think they should br up to date on flat head syndrome. That's more of a medical issue than a car seat issue.

[smcdonald2]

I never really thought about the flat head aspect of the "car seats are for cars" thing.

To me, it was more about the level of interaction (does the baby LIVE in the car seat?) and the potential breathing restrictions for small/at risk babies.

[crl]

This may be true (although my ped applauded my decision to keep DDs RF) I think they should br up to date on flat head syndrome. That's more of a medical issue than a car seat issue.

I guess so, but my ped was fascinated by my full-recline stoller with snuzzler for my newborn. He said people had asked him when they could start using a regular stroller instead of a snap n go but he had never known what to tell them. He's young and very up to date on vax and other stuff but obviously not on baby gear.

Catherine

[arivecchi]

It is also about moderation. If you are walking out the door of your house and can put baby right in the stroller or in a carrier, do that. If you are running into the bank, baby is asleep in the car seat, then pop the whole thing out and do that.

The difference between the car seat and the stroller is the cramped quarters of the car seat and the angle. Compare trying to sleep on an airplane vs. trying to sleep in a bed. No matter how small the bed, it is still WAY easier to get comfy in it that on an airplane seat, YKWIM? You have a lot more room to turn your neck, etc. when you are in a bed. In a carseat, baby is kept "in position" to keep them safe, so there is no room to really stretch out.

Re: asking the ped - honestly I have never had a ped that was up-to-date on car seat issues. Great peds and all, but no ideal of the latest car seat news, :yeahthat:



He's very up to date on vax and other stuff but obviously not on baby gear. :yeahthat: Peds are generally not up to date on car seat/stroller information.

OP, this article might be of interest.

http://www.mothering.com/green-living/car-seats-are-for-cars

[sunnyside]

Thanks everyone.

This is all very helpful.

His argument, which I'm kind of on board with is this: The baby is due July 3rd. Where we live it finally just stopped snowing and likely will start getting very cold again and snowy when she is just 3 or 4 months old. At that point, we aren't going to be strollering about the trails/parks like we would in Spring/Summer.

He'll be gone working out of town MOST of the time from when she is born until mid September when she is 2.5/3 months old. I wanted to go stroller around in the park and stuff on the trails for the little bit of sunshine we'll have after she's born and wanted to have her face me. He doesn't want to get some gigantic expensive stroller for that short time, when at 3 months or so we could use the Maclaren Quest.

So he thinks just put the car seat in the Maclaren Traveler and go, instead of getting something for that short amount of time.

After that, we were hoping to stick with the Maclaren Quest and a Bob Revolution. But he doesn't want to buy them until we need them. He keeps referencing the BBB where it says not to buy a stroller until baby is here. Which works except that he will be working in South Africa when baby gets here, so we have to figure this out ahead of time. And he is starting to think that the only stroller we need is the Mac Quest.

Additionally the parks I want to go to are a 5-10 minute drive from home. I work from home and we don't drive much so I'm just not sure she'd really be spending that much time in a car seat. And I do want to carry her as much as possible and am also trying to figure out what carrier is good for a tiny brand new baby and me. (I'm 5'3").

It's all so confusing!!!!

[GaPeach_in_Ca]

ITA with Twinfoxes & WellYes. It's not the carseat per se, it's the practice of not moving the baby, changing position, interacting with the baby. Truly, 'back to sleep' increases the flat heads but it's worth the trade off in decreased Sids risk.


FWIW, my nephew had plagiocephaly and had to wear a helmet and it didn't have anything to do with my sister's parenting. My nephew had torticollis, most likely because of in-womb positioning. Due to the tight neck muscle, he kept his head in a tilted position. I think this is a common reason babies end up with the misshapen head and need to wear the helmet or band.

I hate to think people are out there looking at babes in helmets thinking that it was caused by the parents ignoring their babies and leaving them lying down all the time. That may cause some cases, but not all.

Obviously, I'm a bit sensitive about this.

[boolady]

I hate to think people are out there looking at babes in helmets thinking that it was caused by the parents ignoring their babies and leaving them lying down all the time. That may cause some cases, but not all.

Obviously, I'm a bit sensitive about this.

I understand why you're sensitive, and, no, it isn't always the reason. I do work with someone who fully admitted to me, in a very carefree fashion, that he knew his child had to wear a helmet (she didn't have torticollis) because she loved being in the bucket seat and it was easy to keep her there and that "we can't just hold her all day long, and neither can the babysitter." Um, okay. It honestly mystified me how two well-educated adults could think that it's okay to do this for their convenience and their babysitter's convenience, and then were totally okay when the doctor told them that this was the reason.

I'm sorry if you're sister's getting judged, because that's just not right.

[TwinFoxes]

I hate to think people are out there looking at babes in helmets thinking that it was caused by the parents ignoring their babies and leaving them lying down all the time. That may cause some cases, but not all.

Obviously, I'm a bit sensitive about this.

I understand why you're sensitive. :hug: I made sure to say in my post that the syndrome is caused by other disorders, in addition to possibly not enough tummy time. I do think people look at kids with helmets and think the parents did something wrong. :( This is what I was trying to get at when I said that peds would be able to talk about the causes behind plagiocephaly. I don't think it's a about car seat knowledge, but medical knowledge.

I don't want it to seem like I think keeping a baby in a car seat for hours at a time is a good idea, because I really don't!!! But I think in OPs situation, a 30 minute stroll might not be that bad.

It's funny, because our girls weren't in their car seats very much at all, since they couldn't go out until they were several months old, and we used the BJCMD once we started really taking them places.

[wellyes]

I hate to think people are out there looking at babes in helmets thinking that it was caused by the parents ignoring their babies and leaving them lying down all the time. That may cause some cases, but not all. :hug: I don't. My personal experience / stories I've heard about kids who spend too much time in car seats are from an aunt & a cousin I have who both work at a daycare and see the full range of parenting. This is not an anti-daycare post, btw, DD was in the aunt's daycare for six months and it was great. Just sharing what I've seen and heard from for her about a small percentage of parents who, for various reasons, dramatically overuse the seats.

mishkamishka - I have another idea for you. If I were you I think I'd just get a Bob with a car seat adapter. Use the adapter for the first 2-3 months, then just use the Bob. It is a great stroller and probably all you need. I have a Mac Quest and I like it but I bought it when DD was about 12 months. It's really a travel/car stroller IMO, not as nice as a Bob. I think a Bob might be more comfortable as an everyday stroller for both you and the LO.

[Piglet]

It's all so confusing!!!!

Yes it is :) Just be glad you are here and not just randomly walking into a TRU and buying a huge beast of a stroller that won't work! I somehow don't see the Quest being your one and only stroller. It is just too wimpy for snow and other such excursions. I live in a snowy climate too (heck, there was snow on the ground yesterday). My 2 primary strollers are a 3-wheel air tire (Phil & Ted) and a Maclaren (older style). I am really hard pressed to go without one or the other. They are both so useful for different reasons. The Maclaren is the car stroller and the one that I use indoors. The P&T is the outdoor stroller and I leave it open in the garage for any walks.

[crl]

mishkamishka[/B] - I have another idea for you. If I were you I think I'd just get a Bob with a car seat adapter. Use the adapter for the first 2-3 months, then just use the Bob. It is a great stroller and probably all you need. I have a Mac Quest and I like it but I bought it when DD was about 12 months. It's really a travel/car stroller IMO, not as nice as a Bob. I think a Bob might be more comfortable as an everyday stroller for both you and the LO.

that's what I was thinking too. Maybe there is one stroller with full recline plus carseat adapter that you could get now. Like the BOB.

Catherine

[boolady]

My personal experience / stories I've heard about kids who spend too much time in car seats are from an aunt & a cousin I have who both work at a daycare and see the full range of parenting. This is not an anti-daycare post, btw, DD was in the aunt's daycare for six months and it was great. Just sharing what I've seen and heard from for her about a small percentage of parents who, for various reasons, dramatically overuse the seats.

This is interesting...was this just observation of parents, or were the car seats permitted in the infant room? At DD's daycare, as well as the five other places we visited, car seat buckets were not permitted in the infant room at all. I just assumed that this was a general thing. I just wasn't sure if you were talking about the parents' use at home/on their own, or that parents wanted their children in the buckets while at school. Just curious.

[codex57]

For people who bother to come onto sites like this, I do think it is hogwash. If you care enough to come onto here, you likely care enough to not leave your child sitting in a car seat all day. Others have already given (unfortunately) common scenarios of parents who do leave their kids in car seats all day.

The parents I encounter do interact with their kids, etc. I have no qualms about not mentioning the car seat thing even if I see the kid in their for a couple hours straight. I know it's cuz we're all going out somewhere, there's a decent bit of driving involved, etc. Normally, at home, the kid is never in the seat so to me it's really overblown for the most part (due to the people in my circles).

[dhano923]

An hour or two in an infant carrier won't do much. It's the babies whose parents leave them in the seat for hours on end. I've heard of people who would let their babies take all their naps and even sleep at night in the carrier! That's not what it's intended for. Put your baby in it, go to the store, the park, whatever, and then take him out when you come home. Just make sure your baby gets tummy time too.

[wellyes]

This is interesting...was this just observation of parents, or were the car seats permitted in the infant room? At DD's daycare, as well as the five other places we visited, car seat buckets were not permitted in the infant room at all. I just assumed that this was a general thing. I just wasn't sure if you were talking about the parents' use at home/on their own, or that parents wanted their children in the buckets while at school. Just curious.

No car seats in the infant room, ever. They work at a Kindercare, toddler room, so talking about the earlier experience of the kids in their care. I'd run the other way from any daycare that allowed infants to lounge in bucket seats.

[shawnandangel]

FWIW I have a Graco Metrolite and have never needed a Bob. I jog with DD almost every day using the Graco. The Bob is very expensive and doesn't have the storage space of other strollers unless you buy attachments.

The Graco Snugride snapped into the Graco Metrolite when DD was newborn and I used it to stroll her around. She never got a flat head. My ped said flat head comes from naptime and the baby sleeping on the same side of their head everytime. She said the important thing is to turn baby's head in a different direction for each nap.

[sunnyside]

Thank you everyone! This has been really helpful.

I think we'll be ok with using the car seat in the Easy Traveler a bit in the beginning. I have a wrap style carrier and an ergo that I can try to use too. I am just determined that we are going to get out and about pretty early and I need it to be as easy as possible because I'm going to be by myself for most of the first 3 months and am already really intimidated.

I think we'll probably go ahead and get the Bob too if I can get a good deal on one and the car seat attachment to get us started. Our season of nice outside weather is fairly short here and I think I really need to try to get out there. Example, today and tomorrow, the forecast is snow!!!! I'm afraid of having PPD and am hoping to counteract it a bit by going out to the parks with my friends I've met in yoga and aqua fitness that will also have new babies.

I'm not too worried about the flat head thing since I'll have so much time with baby to carry her and hold her etc. The breathing aspect of it makes me nervous, but I don't think she'll be in the car seat that much really.

Anyway, I am really grateful for all of your insights!!! Thank you! :cheerleader1:

[vonfirmath]

I've seen babies wearing helmets to try to reshape their heads due to the 'flat head' thing and it's not good. Having said that, I don't think a walk in the park with a Snap-and-Go type stroller will do any harm at all. I used a stroller like that with newborn DD often even though I had a bassinet. She HATED lying flat on her back from day 1.


1. I wouldn't listen to you if you were trying to keep me from going to a walk in the park with my baby in a Snap and Go stroller

2. Kids have gotten flat heads even when their parents are baby wearers, etc. The issue is more complicated than that.

[dogmom]

I think one of the reasons people recommend waiting is to see what your baby wants. My son would have probably been happy in a car seat, but I insisted on taking him out for everything and using the Zolo sling, and he was big. I was planning on doing the same with my daughter, but she hated the sling and was colicky. She did like the baby Born, but she needed to be pointed out to see things, which I managed to do with a head roll.

You husband is probably trying to be logical, and there is a lot of logic in it. But I remember my head spinning before the first trying to figure this all out ahead of time. The first three months takes both forever and no time at all to go by. Do what you think best, but remember your sweet one may decide to undo all your plans!

[bubbaray]

<snip>. He doesn't want to get some gigantic expensive stroller for that short time, when at 3 months or so we could use the Maclaren Quest.
<snip>And he is starting to think that the only stroller we need is the Mac Quest.




I think you will be very unhappy with the Quest as your only stroller, with or without a SNG. Most babies are not comfortable in the Quest at 3m. I suppose if you live in NYC and are doing the subway lots, its worth the tradeoff. But other than a strictly urban setting with no long walks, I really think its not enough stroller for every day with a small baby. The ride is pretty harsh for a small child, its not all that plush, the canopy is a joke, etc. Its a great travel stroller or car stroller that has *some* recline.

[wellyes]

I'm confused?

1. I wouldn't listen to you if you were trying to keep me from going to a walk in the park with my baby in a Snap and Go stroller

2. Kids have gotten flat heads even when their parents are baby wearers, etc. The issue is more complicated than that.
1. I wasn't, I was saying that's what I used!
2. Of course. No one argued otherwise.

mishkamishka I think you'll be a wonderful mama. Even though it is hard at time, especially since you'll be on your own, it's all worth it :) Good luck.