One more L&D spin-off: How much do you remember of yours?

[ourbabygirl]

I'm impressed that so many of you remember your labor and delivery experiences (with great detail) with each of your children.... mine was only 19 months ago, and I can't remember that much of it at all. I remember how quickly things happened, and how physically & emotionally tired I was after only an hour or so of pushing (I think I was 'only' in labor for about 4-5 hours). I also remember not being 'emotional' after giving birth and having DD on my chest; I totally expected I would cry with emotion (happiness/ whatever), but I didn't, so that was a bit disappointing. I'm wondering if that and the fact that I don't remember much about the experience is because I had an epidural, or if that's not related.
I don't mean or want to start a(nother) controversy about whether or not it's better to have a natural childbirth, but I am wondering if those of you who've had both remember things differently. That is, if you've had an epidural and/or other drugs with one childbirth, but no drugs with another, do you remember more of your labor with one or the other? Or maybe it's more a function of how fast or extreme one's labor is; if it's longer or super great/ super terrible, maybe you remember more?

Please fill us in with your thoughts! :)

[maestramommy]

epidural with the first two, unmedicated with the last. I remember all 3 very clearly. The biggest thing I remember is that the last labor hurt like a b*tch and at one point I was wailing so loudly I was embarrassed about it afterwards:p. Funny thing, pushing Laurel out hurt less than the contractions near the end.
I had watched a video on childbirth in classes, and all the women cried at the end. In fact I was crying along with. So I was really surprised when I didn't cry at my own birthings. I was happy, but rather more like, "wow that was cool!" I thought maybe it was because I had the epi, so it wasn't this HUGE experience. But I didn't cry at the end of Laurel's either! I was just relieved it was over. Later on I did wonder if there was something wrong with ME :P

I probably should mention that my longest labor was less than 8 hours from start to finish. So I wasn't exhausted or anything.

[AbbysMom]

I was going to post in the other thread about the benefits of non-medicated birth but your post is right on target with my experience. I wanted the epidural for both births. It did not work for my first and after three tries, by the time we realized it wasn't going to work, it was too late for any pain meds so I gave birth to my DD1 with no epidural or drugs. With my 2nd DD, I walked into the hospital without much discomfort at 7 cm dilated, immediately got an epidural, and pushed during commercials of a baseball game. I never wanted a medication free labor but when I look back on both experiences, I BIRTHED DD1. It was a major life-altering birthing experience. I had a 3rd degree tear and didn't feel it or care about anything with my baby on my chest. The birth of my second daughter was not as much the experience of giving birth to a baby that the first was. When she was on my chest, I didn't feel like it took much effort from me b/c I couldn't really even feel myself pushing. I was joyful she was there but didn't feel as emotionally charged about the entire experience. It was lovely.

Having said that, I remember both experiences equally. The whole long drawn out painful first one and every minute of the easier less painful labor and delivery. But I think that may be b/c I was induced the first time and went into labor naturally for the second and they were VERY different experiences!

[billysmommy]

I can totally remember the births of both boys.
They were both 3 weeks early and fast ~ Ds1 my water broke at 4:30pm (no contractions at all prior), contractions started at 4:45 at 5 min apart, got to the hospital at 5:30, epidural at 6:23 and Ds1 was born at 9:36pm. The OB who delivered him was hysterical....he was telling DH and I jokes in between contractions while I was pushing and I think I ended up laughing him out. We found out afterwards the OB does stand-up on the side.
Ds2 I started having contractions ~9:15pm and called my mom to come up. She lives ~1.5 hours away and I wasn't taking any chances. She got to our house about 11 and I was at the door ready to go to the hospital. My OB was on that night and when we got there at 11:20 I told him I wanted the epidural. I got it at 12:32am and Ds2 was born at 2:14am.

I remember being very emotional when I held each of them after they were born and as they nursed the first time but I'm not a crier. That's DH's job :)

[LarsMal]

I remember all 3 pretty clearly.

Highlights:
DS: I was 38 weeks and thought I was leaking fluid so they put me in the hospital on a Friday night. I was starting to contract on my own, but they wanted to give me cervadil and then the next morning start petocin. I'll never forget the doc who came to put the cervadil in....hubba hubba...H.O.T!!!!! Too bad I was clearly off the market! ;) He inserted the cervadil while watching the football game over his shoulder- typical male! That night sucked and was all the pain I cared to experience. Didn't get my epidrual 'til late the next afternoon, it wore off on one side and when they told me to flip to the other side I thought DS was going to fly out. 15 minutes later and a couple pushes and he was out. Funny thing was my OB had joked about 30 minutes earlier that I was his only patient that day, could I hurry things along so he could get out of there. I think he felt a little guilty about that when they yelled for him to come back in so soon!

DD1: Contractions at 38 weeks, another Friday night, breech baby. I discovered contractions with a breech baby SUCK!!!! Got to the hospital (New Year's weekend). I guess everyone who could do an elective c/s decided to do it that day for their tax credit! The sterlizing machine broke so they didn't have any sterile instruments to do my c/s. Talk about panic! I guess they finally got some from the ER. I could feel a little too much during the c/s so they gave me more meds and practically knocked me out. When I started to come around I wanted to take pictures of the baby and hold her- clearly could do neither!

DD2: Very routine scheduled c/s. I remember it all, but nothing out of the ordinary. I got wheeled to recovery with her in my arms and nursed for the first time right then (did not happen with my first c/s) so that was pretty special.

[brgnmom]

my L&D experience with my DS was more than 3.5 years ago, and I remember it very well -- even though I ended up choosing an epidural and low-level of pitocin after 24-plus hours of being in labor at the hospital. My OB is very pro-medication-free L&D experiences and respected my hopes for having one, except because my dilation was stalled at 4 cm for many hours, she recommended that I get the epidural and low-level of pitocin, in order to prevent a c-section.

My DH and I had taken the Bradley birthing classes, and I was set on birthing med-free, but I was very relieved once I got the epidural and low-level of pitocin at 6 pm on the day that my DS was born at 40 wks, 3 days. I could actually relax during the contractions and I was able to continue dilating from 4 cm onto 10 cm in about 5 hours, which was great progress considering that I was stalled for awhile at 4 cm. I pushed for 30 minutes and I was so happy and relieved to hold my DS in my arms and nurse him within a half an hour of giving birth. He roomed in with us, and I did not feel that getting the epidural prevented me from enjoying my L&D experience. In fact, I felt like I was able to rest more with the epidural, so that I had enough energy for the pushing stage. I was exhausted from feeling every one of the contractions when I was med-free, and after getting the epidural, I felt some relief... as did my DH who doesn't like to see me in pain. I don't think anyone should feel bad, guilty or less proud of her birthing experience if it's not completely med-free. I admire moms who go the med-free route successfully, but I don't regard other moms (including myself) with less respect because we do opt for the epidural.

Going back to the OP's question, yes, my L&D experience is still very clear to me, even though it'll be almost 4 years in a couple of months. And I do plan on being open to receiving the epidural with DC2 this autumn.

[boolady]

I remember everything, or at least it feels that way. Went into hospital at 41 weeks to the day, with no effacement and no dilation, but due to rising BP. Got cervadil that night, started feeling it almost immediately, despite them telling me that I would not. Remember being up the whole night, getting the pitocin the next morning, DH STILL not being there yet, even though it was like 8:30 a.m., and him strolling in with a cup of flavored coffee for himself. The smell of it was so bad I started retching, and made him get rid of it. Little did I know, he just dumped it into the bathroom sink. So, about 3 hours later, when things were really starting to transition, I had to go the bathroom, and am sitting there trying to tinkle when I am overwhelmed by the smell of the flavored coffee that is lingering in the drain of the sink. Puke everywhere.

Come out of the bathroom to find that while I was in the bathroom, DH took it upon himself to go down to the cafeteria and get himself a cup of non-flavored coffee, thinking that it wouldn't bother me. Ugh. Manlogic. Um, no, lots more puking. Lots.

Went another couple of hours without epidural, but eventually asked for it. The nurse I had (who was awesome) told me that I had gone a lot farther than most of her patients without any meds, and I have no regrets. DD was born 4 hours later, perfectly healthy and alert, a state in which she stayed (loudly) for the first five months of her life. I had a small tear...doctor mentioned doing epi, and I asked if she could not. She said that was fine.

Looking back on it, I really think my practice, despite being rather conventional, did not push things I didn't want. When I was at 39.5 weeks and had been dealing with a slightly elevated BP, I told them that I did not want to schedule induction then. They were fine with that, and were willing to just monitor my BP every few days. It wasn't until it started noticeably rising despite taking it really easy that they encouraged me to be induced, and I don't know if it was necessary, but I said okay. They didn't do the epi when I didn't want it, and I know they were concerned about DD's heart rate dropping a lot during contractions. Lately, that's the reason articulated for all of my friends' c-sections (and I am not being critical) but I didn't want that to happen. They never suggested it. They monitored it closely, and the doctor stayed in the room for about the last 1/2 hour of pushing, rather than running in the door to catch DD, in case the cord was around her neck. Maybe not the least interventional birth ever, but given everything, I'm glad it went down the way it did (except for the coffee:)).

[american_mama]

I think I remember my births so clearly for two reasons: 1) they were pretty straight-forward, not terribly stressful, no huge factors that would make memory difficult and 2) I wrote detailed birth stories after all three. The first "story" was kind of a fill-in-the-blank set of questions that I'd gotten at my childbirth class, and the others were just stories I wrote for email or here.

I think some drugs for some women do make them feel loopy and impede memory, but I don't think it's a standard effect of epidurals at all. I think it's your degree of exhaustion and emotional/physical stress that impact memory much more than drugs. And then it's just standard memory tricks that can help boost that memory - writing down what you remember, asking DH and your doctor what happened, looking at photos and asking question to jog your memory.

[egoldber]

I remember all 3 birth experiences very clearly. The only part I don't remember is after my oldest was born they gave me an anti-anxiety drug in my IV (standard protocol at my hospital for c-sections during suturing) anf it made my blood pressure drop and was in and out of consciousness. So I missed a LOT of the typical post birth stuff (weighing, measuring) and was too loopy to hold her right aftewards.

This was very upsetting to me and when I had my planned c-section with my youngest DD I told the anesthesiologist specifically that I did NOT want that, that I wanted to be "clear and alert" during and after the procedure.

[klwa]

I remember a good bit of both, but with DS, I had IV narcotics (Stadol) & I think they messed up my time line a bit. DH tells me that the things I remember happened in a different order at times, but other than the 2 hours the drug was in me & working (3rd shot went in as I was starting full blown transition & had an basically an hour long contraction. I remember everything from that point on.), I've got a good clear picture of everythgin that happened.

[MoJo]

I remember a lot of mine, which was after almost two sleepless nights and an epidural.

I don't know (and don't think I knew then) how long the labor was/how long the pushing was. I told the rest of the story in the natural birth thread (wanted natural, but it didn't work out that way), so I'm not going to repeat it here.

I am very emotional, and I cried at EVERY (that would be dozens) childbirth video over the course of my pregnancy. So I was very surprised that I didn't cry when DD was born, and I too thought that was weird/wondered if something was wrong with me. The other thing that surprised me was that I wasn't particularly interested in LOOKING at her right away after waiting all that time to see her. . . she felt SO WONDERFUL snuggled on my chest that I didn't want to pull her away to see her.

I am guessing meds played a part in all that. The nurse commented afterwards that sometimes they do that, but they didn't tell me they gave me anything other than a standard epidural. I didn't feel loopy or out of it at all. The only other sign I had was my friend, who I talked to while still in the delivery room, said I sounded VERY good for someone who had just given birth.

And DH asked me in the delivery room (after she was born) if I still wanted another, to which I unhesitatingly answered "Yes."

[Seitvonzu]

i had a pretty easy labor/delivery and yet, i still choose an epidural. i should up to the hospital at 6cm because i was three weeks early and had NO IDEA i was in labor until my water broke (very dramatically...it might have already partially broken in the middle of the night, but i wasn't "leaking" so i went back to sleep!). anywho, we showed up at the hospital my doctor was right there and able to check me quickly and the anethesiologist was right there (basically), so i had about 1 minute to decide on the epi. it was in my "i'll think about this at 2 weeks out" (i was a planned induction due to gestational diabetes and my doctors feeling confident i wouldn't go early ;P) needlesstosay, i never go to the "thinking about medication" stage!!!! but , when they asked i looked at DH and his face said it all- so i took the epidural. i know this isn't the best reasoning in the world, and i probably could have done without...but honestly, i always knew i was NO HERO. (when people would ask about medication i'd say "i'm not a hero, i'm sure it's there for a reason and i'll know if i need it when i need it) across the hall was a woman who was SCREAMING for an epidural about 30 minutes after i got mine...(apparently the anesthisiologist got really busy after me...so people were having to wait, i waited all of 5 minutes)

i had a successful epi. honestly, hearing people's stories about them scares the pants off me now, but i was DEFINITELY an "ignorance is bliss" birth story!!!! i'm glad i didn't think too much about headaches afterward (i get migraines so the after headache is my biggest epi fear).

i don't feel like the epi made me "forget" anything. as soon as i had it i was on the phone with my mother "hi mommy, i'm having a baby!" she was like "what? when?" i said "The doctor said in 4 hours!" hahahaha :) i slept a little. dh called some people. it was fabulous :) i watched the contractions on a monitor and laughed about them. seriously. i don't feel like my brain was foggy at all-- i thought that's why people did epis vs. narcotics? i could be wrong, like i said- i never got to that research phase!

i always am saying to DH that i could have done it without, but honestly , there was no reason to in my case... hindsight and all that, but i think epis are great ;)

[daphne]

The only part I don't remember is after my oldest was born they gave me an anti-anxiety drug in my IV (standard protocol at my hospital for c-sections during suturing)

That's interesting. I had no idea they gave that routinely. Why? It boggles my mind how little we are informed about things, sometimes.

[egoldber]

i don't feel like my brain was foggy at all-- i thought that's why people did epis vs. narcotics? i

The problem is different meds affect people very differently. In general the epidural is less likely to make you foggy. But some people do not react well to the meds in the epidural, but don't realize until it is too late. Also, some people experience blood pressure drops with the epidural (which can make you woozy and lightheaded). This is relatively common and is one reason they push IV fluids when you have an epidural.

[egoldber]

I had no idea they gave that routinely. Why?

This is generally the longest part of the surgery. It can take awhile (it took 45 minutes for me). It's boring. Some moms have trouble with their uterus contracting after the c-section and they may needs to give more meds, etc. Sometimes moms freak out. Not all hospitals do this, but at many hospitals, an anti-anxiety med is standard to give to moms via IV after the baby is out.

[daisymommy]

I personally feel like every last detail of all 3 births is burned into my permamnent memmory. But I'm a person who typically is like that with everything (memories) in my life.

[daisymommy]

[QUOTE=egoldber;2721483 Also, some people experience blood pressure drops with the epidural (which can make you woozy and lightheaded). This is relatively common and is one reason they push IV fluids when you have an epidural.[/QUOTE]

My blood pressure dropped so low during pushing that I passed out for a moment. There was a team for me and one for the baby. They actually said it's not uncommon for mom and baby's blood pressure to drop because due to the epi, but uncommon for it to be so bad that you black out...but it does happen.

[lchang25000]

I remember it all since I wrote everything down. :D Everything went very smoothly and I didn't feel a thing at all the entire L&D since I got the Pitocin and epidural at the same time!

[gatorsmom]

I labored for 14 hours with my first pregnancy and ended up with a c/section and then had 2 scheduled c/sections. I think I remember the last 2 c/sections more clearly than the first simply because they were the most recent!

Honestly, though, I wanted to respond to the other thread but it got so heated I decided to stay out of it. The truth is, I tried everything I could to avoid a c/section with the first pregnancy and it didn't end up that way. And I'm still glad I scheduled the last 2. I never feel bad about how I got my babies or the fact that I didn't experience vaginal delivery until I read one of these threads. I never thought there was a reason to feel bad about any kind of delivery- I'm just so happy I have those babies! Some people never get experience any of that so I'm very thankful I have my 4 kids.

Knowing what I do now, if I had to go back and change anything, I would siimply have done more researched and become much, much more knowledgeable. THEN I would have gone in with an open mind and just focused on the goal- getting the baby in my arms. jmho

[Katigre]

I remember both labors the same, I made sure to write my birth story within a day or two of giving birth because I knew the details would fade over time (and they have). But when I reread my birth story it helps bring back what happened.

[Tondi G]

I remember my 2 natural births very well. I guess it helps that my OB moved practices and the boys were delivered at different Hospitals. My births were different... DS1 was born with the cord around his neck twice, blue and pretty much lifeless. Super scary but he bounced back quickly. DS2 had only his head out and was already looking up at his daddy and licking his lips.... so much more aware and it was a much easier delivery as a whole. It's funny to me that I had PPA/PPD after DS2 ... overall his birth was easier and he was a much more mellow/happy baby... I guess you never know!

I typed out my birth story after DS1 was born... I guess I should type out DS2's birth story so I have it.

[mikeys_mom]

I remember all 3 of mine very clearly. I had 3 c/s's - 2 scheduled and 1 was an attmpted VBAC. Scheduled c/s's I had a spinal and the attempted VBAC I had an epi. Since mine were c/s they were pretty quick and straightforward. Even my attmpted VBAC, I only dilated to 4cm when I developed a fever and baby's heartrate was dropping. I never got to anywhere near the transition or pushing stage. I don't have any long story to recall, but I do remember how I was feeling emotionally for each birth and what my specific fears and worries were as well as the excitement.

[infomama]

I remember both like they were yesterday and I have them written down when my memory fades. I never want to loose those experiences.