Nearly two years old is on my last straw... HELP!

[MacMacMoo]

DS will be two in Aug. He has some bad bad bad habits that need to be addressed. But I don't even know where to start.

-DS uses my hair as his lovely. It started innocently. He would play with my locket when he had his bottle as a baby. The locket would sometime get tangled in my hair and so he started loving on my hair instead. I'd tried offering lovies. Tried keeping my hair out of his reach. nothing worked, probably because in the end he'd still end up with my hair. He's picky to, I've gone as far as getting a hair cut and given him the locks. He rejected it, he likes the ones attached to my head.

-I can't figure out how to make him go to sleep. I can see him give all the cue: eyes rubs, yawning, flumping on the floor. But I can't get him to fall asleep!

-He's favorite place to sleep is in our bed with us. We were able to get him to sleep on a twin mattress in his room for a few nights, but not happening any more. past three night were a no go. Prior the sleeping in his room, ended with him waking up in the middle of the night and coming into our bedroom and crawling into bed with us.

-He'll stay asleep if someone is next to him. As in after he crawls into bed with us at night he'll stay asleep. if I get out a 7, he's up at 7. if I get out at 10 he wakes up at 10.

-We have tried cry it out a few times in his life (back when he was in a crib), but he'd cry and cry cry and never go to sleep.

-one method that use to work is I'll sit on his bed and he'll sit next to me. hop out and play. and check on me every so often. Finally he'll be ready to go to bed and crawl in and fall asleep. Lately that hasn't been working.

I guess the ultimate question is how do I get DS to settle himself down and go to sleep without DH or I there. I don't mind sitting and reading him books, but I can't stand laying there waiting for him to fall asleep anymore.

[sads]

I was hoping someone would reply to your message since we're in the same boat! DD is 28 months, refuses to sleep anywhere but in our bed (unless I sleep with her in the full-size bed in her room.) I bought the No-Cry Sleep Solution for Toddlers and we're going to try some tough love over the next few weeks to get her at least into the toddler bed in our room, since her baby sister is due to arrive any minute! I keep hoping for a miracle - I have friends who keep telling me that their DC "suddenly" started sleeping on their own and through the night at the age of ___ (usually 3ish) but I think I know better now than to leave it up to miraculous chance!

[hillview]

I had this on my list to respond to. Sorry!!

So I would tackle one issue at a time. Maybe start with sleep and let the hair thing go.

I think there are some options for what you want to do. If it were me I would say that I want DC to sleep in his room and so I woud start there (vs your room and THEN move to his room). So I'd start by having him fall asleep there. Maybe with you in with him (is there a bed you can both sleep in or a mattress you can put on the floor?). Then after a week or 2 (I find it takes a week or 2 to have things settle into a routine. Then I would work on leaving him alone in his room. DS2 falls asleep in his room with a parent next to him but he will STAY in his room once asleep. So for us that works. For DS1 we had to basically not cry it out BUT bring him back to his room 100 times a night for a week or so.

Whatever you pick to do, do it for a week. It really does take a lot of time. I originally tried one thing for a night or 2, decided it didn't work and then tried another thing and so on. DC never had a chance to learn the new routine.

Good luck!
/hillary

[TwinFoxes]

I only have experience with our two, and I don't know if what we do will work newly on a toddler, because we've been doing it forever. We have a bedtime routine that we really stick to. First it's diaper changing and PJs. They head to bed at 7. Sometimes it's 7:15, rarely 7:30 (like if we're out at dinner or something). But we aim for 7. We sing our "sleepy song" which is only about 8 words, but we've done it since I can remember. The girls hear it and head to bed. We read several stories. I turn out the light, sing a little more sleepy song, turn on their little musical carousel and cover them with their blankets. They'll sometimes play around saying "uh oh" and take the blankets off themselves. But we only let them do that once or twice, and then it's "no more uh ohs".

I really think having a routine is the key to our girls being good sleepers. I hope it helps. I don't think you have to do things like we do, but I think having a routine with specific steps is key. I wish you luck, I can't imagine dealing with this. :hug: