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ewpmsw
06-11-2010, 11:35 AM
Is your S/O or DH giving you a push present, or did you receive one with previous DC('s)? What did you receive?

This is a relatively new idea to me - I only heard of it when expecting first DC in 2008.

firemama
06-11-2010, 11:57 AM
That's funny, my husband and I just had this conversation. A friend of ours told him he HAS to buy me one, and it should be nice jewelry - diamonds! He asked me about it, and i don't think it's necessary. I am a minimalist when it comes to jewelry. I only wear my wedding rings every day. Sometimes (rarely) earrings or a necklace or a bracelet. I told him when we are done having children, I would LOVE a ring for each child to wear on my right ring finger. I want each one to have their birth stone, and have it go all the way around the band. Something like that. I figure we are spending so much money on all the new baby stuff, and with each kid eventually spending more and more, it is more practical to wait until we can afford something I will like.

dukie41181
06-11-2010, 11:58 AM
No push present here. We talked about it and didn't really see the need for the extra expense. Frankly, babies are expensive enough without having to spend extra cash on jewelry, purse, etc. Could put the money elsewhere for the new little one...i'd rather get something for the baby. Heck, I know my husband is in awe of what I've endured with the pregnancy, labor and delivery without his showing it matrialistically. Just my opinion thouugh.

luckytwenty
06-11-2010, 12:19 PM
My son was born a month after my 30th birthday, and I'd always wanted diamond stud earrings, so I guess was a combo push and birthday present. We don't spend a lot on ourselves in general, and it seemed like a good occasion to! I wear those earrings almost every day, and often think of my son when I wear them.

Money was tighter when my daughter was born, but my husband bought me a bracelet. Not diamonds, not especially expensive, but beautiful, and I do think of her when I wear it.

I want one of those little shoe charm necklaces for my third & final--might need to wait a few years, though, as we might have a big, expensive move a few months after the baby arrives.

I know people get all hot and bothered about this topic, but I like jewelry and really just have a few pieces that I wear--all given for sentimental reasons. My engagement and wedding rings, pearls given to me for the wedding from my ILs, and the earrings/bracelet. I'd want to have a few nice, key pieces whether I had children or not, and this way I associate jewelry I love with children and a husband I love.

sunnyside
06-11-2010, 12:20 PM
We're getting me a ring with baby's birthstone to commemorate the birth. I only have a tiny bit of jewelry. It's not really a push present because my DBF isn't buying it for me as a push present. In fact, I may pay for it myself. But I want him to pick it out with me because it is so sentimental.

My only jewelry is the Tiffany silver necklace he gave me for our first anniversary and the two pairs of earrings my mother gave me for special occasions (one pr. diamonds, one pair of topaz) and an opal ring from my Dad.

I don't really like the idea of obligating him or anyone to buy a push present and the wording is kind of ick to me. At the same time, I wanted another ring and have really taken to getting a special piece of jewelry for a special occasion. In this case the birth of my first child.

swissair81
06-11-2010, 01:01 PM
My DH got me flowers for the last few. Even if I was going to get a 'push present' it would be for the baby, so...

maestramommy
06-11-2010, 01:05 PM
I'd never heard of a "push present" before Dora was born and I came on these boards. None of my IRL friends ever talked about it, so if they got one I didn't know about it. I think a small gift is a nice gesture, but I never expected one. Dh got me flowers after the first two, and for Laurel he ordered a birth announcement to be put on our front lawn:p

This is NOT in any way a judgement on those who expect and receive such things, but for ME personally it's ridiculous to demand expensive jewelry for giving birth. I don't even ask for expensive jewelry for my bday, Christmas or anniversary. Dh got me a nice pearl pendant for our 5th (on sale at Macy's!:jammin:), and I've only worn it once because who can wear nice jewelry when you have 3 under 5??

Again, if your SO/DH likes to give you nice gifts as a "well done!" gesture, I think it's awesome. But it's not for everyone and I don't think there should be this pressure to make it that way. Do I sound grumpy? I'm really not :p

Andi98989
06-11-2010, 01:15 PM
Didn't talk about it and didn't get anything - other than my beautiful son! :)

♥ms.pacman♥
06-11-2010, 01:26 PM
i heard about push presents on another forum. however i never asked or hinted at anything when i was pregnant. looking back on it, i'm glad i didn't get any jewelry, as 5 months postpartum and i still can't even wear my wedding rings anymore (still too small after 3rd trimester). and forget necklaces or earrings..my son pulls on/grabs EVERYTHING.

i think the whole baby's birthstone on a ring thing is cool, but for whatever reason, i'm just not into it. i guess i've never been into fine jewelry. and as maestramommy says, when can u really wear nice jewelry once u have kids? i'm already tired putting effort into wearing non-clashing unstained clothes & putting makeup on. lol

i did get a nice LV handbag to use as a diaper bag a few months before DS was born. tho i don't consider that a "push present." i dont' know, if i ever want to get something, DH & I just talk about it, and if we agree then we get it. we dont' really need an specific occasion to get something.

BigDog
06-11-2010, 01:44 PM
I swear I nearly died on the table from the pain and exhaustion of pushing for 5 hours. I didn't NEED anything, but the sentiment definitely wouldn't go unwelcomed after that horrible death-defying experience. DH gave me a beautiful tiny diamond star pendant that he purchased for me during a week-long jaunt to Italy while I was 9mos pregnant at home. I love it. ;)

newg
06-11-2010, 01:46 PM
this is the first time I've heard of a 'push present'. I honestly can't remember if DH got me flowers or anything last time.

I did tell him I want some balloons on the mailbox this time so people know when we've had DD.

I guess the coach purse DH got me on vacation last month is my 'push present'....DH said it's an early "thank you" for all that I'll go through this summer and early fall.

luckytwenty
06-11-2010, 02:19 PM
Oh, you can wear nice jewelry after having kids, all right. :-P Rings and small earrings! Bracelets and necklaces might not be practical when you're home with the kids, but if you work in an office or even if you just go out on occasional date nights, you can wear them, too.

I think demanding a push present or expecting it to be extravagant is one thing, especially if you're wanting something that will deplete the family "pot" at a time when the money needs to be saved for important things--but I also am not of the "the baby is a gift enough for me" camp. Yeah, the baby IS the ultimate gift, but as the one bearing the stretch marks, leaky boobs, c-section scar and extra pounds while my guy remains skinny, comfy and not surgically altered, a sweet little something for me is certainly appreciated, as long as it's within our means.

MamaSnoo
06-11-2010, 04:16 PM
I have definitely heard of gifts for the birth, and had some friends who expected them (and big ones!) I had not heard the term "push presents" until today. LOL.

I did not talk to DH about a gift before DD. He did suprise me the first night with a pair of (small) diamond and saphire earrings. They go with a necklace he gave me before we married (and which I wore in our wedding), so they are a special remembrance for me.

I think if we try for DC2, I might tell him, no gifts, as costs will be higher (i.e. Childcare for 2). Of course, what I say has little effect on DH, so I might not say anything.

cindys
06-11-2010, 06:17 PM
DH felt that all I had been thru (years of fertility treatments) that I deserved a little something...

He had 2 blue sapphires (1 for each baby boy) added to my engagement ring.

Luckily for us, I had a 3 stone sapphire ring that I had gotten when I went to visit my brother in Bangkok when he was a Marine Embassy Guard, at the time I paid $100 for it.

So, I was okay with him doing it since we werent really out any money especially after all the money we spent to even get pregnant.

Mama to 3 boys...19, 4 & 19mos:heartbeat::heartbeat::heartbeat:

hillview
06-11-2010, 07:28 PM
Nothing here. It would have been nice but not a big deal.
/hillary

LexyLou
06-11-2010, 07:48 PM
Oh, you can wear nice jewelry after having kids, all right. :-P Rings and small earrings! Bracelets and necklaces might not be practical when you're home with the kids, but if you work in an office or even if you just go out on occasional date nights, you can wear them, too.

I think demanding a push present or expecting it to be extravagant is one thing, especially if you're wanting something that will deplete the family "pot" at a time when the money needs to be saved for important things--but I also am not of the "the baby is a gift enough for me" camp. Yeah, the baby IS the ultimate gift, but as the one bearing the stretch marks, leaky boobs, c-section scar and extra pounds while my guy remains skinny, comfy and not surgically altered, a sweet little something for me is certainly appreciated, as long as it's within our means.

:yeahthat:

I agree, if you are demanding something and your family doesn't have the money then it's not right but I agree, a little something is nice.

DD#1 DH just got me a little Tiffany Sterling Silver Necklace

DD#2 he combined with my 30th b-day and our 5 year wedding anniversary and bought me beautiful diamond stud earrings. It was a TOTAL surprise and I near fainted when he presented them to me. But again, it was a combo present.

wellyes
06-11-2010, 07:50 PM
Mine was: arranged for cleaning lady to start coming in :jammin:

maestramommy
06-11-2010, 08:41 PM
Mine was: arranged for cleaning lady to start coming in :jammin:

YO!:yay:Now THAT I'd go for!

yournamehere
06-11-2010, 08:45 PM
Never heard of push presents and I think it is kind of ridiculous. Then again my husband and I aren't really into exhanging gifts for b-days, xmas etc. I am really happy just having him as a husband and am not into materialistic things. sometimes if we see something "perfect" for that person we may get a 'just because' gift and those always have so much meaning and element of surprise.

jgenie
06-11-2010, 10:01 PM
DH will bring me gifts when he travels or if he sees something he thinks I will like but to associate a gift with the delivery of our DC would not occur to him. He bought me a ring when I was pregnant with DS1 and we were on vacation and a tennis bracelet when I was pregnant with DS2. They were not meant to be push presents but I associate each piece with each DC and will pass them on to them when they are adults.

Here's a poll I did when the subject came up during DS2's pregnancy.

Push gift poll (http://www.windsorpeak.com/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=346345&highlight=push+gift)

ewpmsw
06-12-2010, 12:48 PM
Mine was: arranged for cleaning lady to start coming in :jammin:

Must admit I have been "pushing" for this! Otherwise, we haven't discussed it and I'm not expecting a present from DH after delivery.

PearlsMom
06-12-2010, 03:55 PM
The only piece I would have wanted for a push present would be a ring, but DH just got me a lovely diamond right-hand ring for my birthday last winter, so I'm out of fingers I want decorated! So I don't think he'll get me anything, maybe flowers (but he's definitely going to clean up the house while I'm in the hospital).

SnuggleBuggles
06-12-2010, 03:57 PM
I'd have loved flowers but I really didn't expect anything.

Beth

MamaMolly
06-12-2010, 11:52 PM
DH knows I love sparkly things and trinkets (I guess my love language is presents!) and bought me a pretty sapphire heart pendant with DD1. He got it at Costco and it was a really good price! :)
This time around I'd been scouring Etsy for a mom necklace. I wanted two silver disks with the girl's initials. I didn't realize he'd noticed, but we were out shopping a few weeks before DD2 was born and he suggested we go into Tiffany's (!!) and bought me the necklace I had been wanting! It was very reasonable and so much fun because we picked it out as a family. http://www.tiffany.com/shopping/Item.aspx?fromGrid=1&sku=GRP03111&mcat=148204&cid=288216&search_params=s+5-p+1-c+288216-r+101566469+0+101323338-x+-n+6-ri+-ni+0-t+

I plan to give them to the girls when they get older.

fumofu
06-13-2010, 04:10 AM
I've never heard of a push present. Not expecting one either. If there are gifts involved I want them for our future DS, or to our house, or actually food and doing housework would be nice. :)

lil_acorn
06-14-2010, 04:19 PM
I heard about it when pregnant with my first. I didn't expect anything extravagant, but received a solitaire diamond necklace with our first. With our 2nd my DH outdid himself and I got another diamond pendant, which were two circles, one smaller circle inside the other. He said it represented both boys so it was really sweet. Not sure what he will do with #3! I told him I don't need anything but I am sure he will do something very special.

sste
06-14-2010, 04:51 PM
I used to feel that this would be just not my and dh's style. And I still think expecting DH to get me an expensive gift is not my style and I don't even like most expensive items, $$ jewelry makes me nervous, I am not into electronics, etc.

I would very much appreciate a letter or sentimental item from DH but the reality is that the man is so nervous in the last trimester he practically needs to be medicated and can barely form sentences much less shop for me and his taste in gifts is just not in keeping with mine. So, I have decided that I AM BUYING MYSELF MY OWN PUSH PRESENT THIS TIME AROUND!

For my "push" present to myself, I am starting with labor doula, nanny care part-time with the newborn, a pre-made meal thing (you go to the place and combine X number of meals yourself and take home and freeze), at least two postpartum massages, and I think I may splurge on some really lovely pregnant tummy and just newborn high end photos.

Green22
06-14-2010, 09:14 PM
For me, it was my beautiful daughter.

My friends have all received push presents, most of them diamond-related. One was a ring with pave diamonds and the birth stone of the son in the middle, 2 got diamond pendants. One friend got a ring with her monogram on it, but I don't think it was quite what she wanted (she isn't a jewlery person). : )

PearlsMom
06-15-2010, 02:16 PM
I'm due pretty much any day now, and I just had an inspiration: professional photos. I'm asking my husband to buy a package where we can get professional, candid photos of the family at newborn, 6 mos, and 12 mos. A number of the wedding photographers around here do that sort of thing, and their work is just gorgeous! I'm sure we'll be taking tons of photos of the baby ourselves, but I really want some nice ones of the whole family.

And maid service. :loveeyes:

citymama
06-15-2010, 03:03 PM
Never heard of these before. I will admit I would be touched to get one, but it would never occur to my DH and I'd never ask for one - I think that defeats the idea! I like the idea of something to commemorate the birth and your rite of passage. Since I am still waiting on a birthday and mothers day present (which will never materialize!) I'm not likely to get one of these! DH did get me a lovely Valentines day present this year, to his credit.

Where I'm concerned, the real gift is all the cooking, chauffering, bedtime, school drop off, playtime etc he is doing. Beats a diamond any day, IMO.

sunnyside
06-15-2010, 04:21 PM
Never heard of these before. I will admit I would be touched to get one, but it would never occur to my DH and I'd never ask for one - I think that defeats the idea! I like the idea of something to commemorate the birth and your rite of passage. Since I am still waiting on a birthday and mothers day present (which will never materialize!) I'm not likely to get one of these! DH did get me a lovely Valentines day present this year, to his credit.

Where I'm concerned, the real gift is all the cooking, chauffering, bedtime, school drop off, playtime etc he is doing. Beats a diamond any day, IMO.

I totally agree with that too.

I'm not sure how guys find out about stuff. My BF does NOT like anything that smells of materialism, obligation, expectation, etc. If he thinks he is being compared to someones else's BF or Husband it upsets him, and rightfully so. He does plenty and I would hate for him to feel any pressure around a push present. I told him about it and what it was so he would know, and I told him that I'm going to get a ring and he said he'd buy it if that is what was expected of him. I told him it's not like that at all. I just really want one to commemorate the birth, but it doesn't matter if it's my money or his money etc. In fact, my parents were going to get me one when they went on a trip a few months ago but couldn't because we don't know if she'll come in June or July.

Anyway, I'm looking forward to us going and choosing something, and I dont' care at all who pays for it. As he has told me, it is merely a plink in the bucket compared to how much the baby is going to cost LOL. I wonder what finger I should put it on.....

wellyes
06-15-2010, 04:42 PM
I totally get that the idea of an expensive gift as some sort of quid pro quo for *giving birth* is absurd. Of course it is. I don't think that's what "push presents" arose from though. I think it's a distasteful name for a really nice idea..... that a gift or material object is given special family meaning because it marks a turning point.

In 30 years I'd rather hand down to my daughter one small necklace / ring/ token that was given to me to commemorate her birth than a whole jewelry box full of stuff that I'd bought just for the heck of it. Family stories & the memories we make from them are so much more valuable than objects, in the end.

sunnyside
06-15-2010, 06:11 PM
I totally get that the idea of an expensive gift as some sort of quid pro quo for *giving birth* is absurd. Of course it is. I don't think that's what "push presents" arose from though. I think it's a distasteful name for a really nice idea..... that a gift or material object is given special family meaning because it marks a turning point.

In 30 years I'd rather hand down to my daughter one small necklace / ring/ token that was given to me to commemorate her birth than a whole jewelry box full of stuff that I'd bought just for the heck of it. Family stories & the memories we make from them are so much more valuable than objects, in the end.

I know, it's interesting. It's like it makes sense to want to get something for the occasion, but then you feel bad for wanting something because it can be looked at as materialism etc, when it's not really that, it's more sentimentality. (Is that a word?)... I don't like getting jewelry gifts for the most part, because I only want ones that mean something. I told DBF that I don't ever want another necklace because I"m not sure I ever want to take off the one he gave me for our first dating anniversary LOL.

ewpmsw
06-15-2010, 08:17 PM
I posted the question about push presents (not a name I'm fond of) because I was blown away by the number of women who asked me what I was getting the first time around. With this second pregnancy, I haven't heard it as much. It's quite common where we live, apparently. I'd never heard of them until I got pregnant with #1 and then had all these women who were like, "You're NOT getting a push present?" Ummmm... No... But I don't feel like DH owes me one. As much as I gripe about him, he is a wonderful father and partner and makes it possible for me to be a SAHM. We're having children together, I'm not having them for him. As pp'd, I'm not opposed to gifts commemorating the birth, or flowers, or sweet gestures of any kind. I also agree that the materialism of the term is a turn-off. I've read about push presents on other sites and the threads were very different from this one. More along the lines of "I'm entitled to something because I'm pushing his kid out!" The man should get some kind of "putting up with the pushy wife" present for making it through two really crabby pregnancies with me!

AnnieW625
06-16-2010, 01:26 AM
I had never heard of them until about the time DD was a year old and the first time I read a post about them on a beauty board I frequent I was horrified. The economy was good then so I think you heard a lot about it then and not so much now. We did get a new car when DD1 was 4 mos. old so that was probably as close to one as I'll ever get, but I had to give up my sporty two door Accord for a new car (still miss that car!):shake:. He he, and really that's fine with me. I'd rather have a husband who helps out and loves to play with the kids than one who feels like they have to give their wife an amazing gift for giving them a child (no offense of course!).

luckytwenty
06-16-2010, 10:02 AM
I'd rather have a husband who helps out and loves to play with the kids than one who feels like they have to give their wife an amazing gift for giving them a child (no offense of course!).

Me, too--but there are husbands who do both. My own husband couldn't be more involved, helpful or loving, and he got me gifts. Not gigantic extravagant multi-carat gifts, but thoughtful items that he wanted to give me because he appreciated how much I went through with my pregnancies, c-sections, nursing struggles in the beginning, etc. It's not mutually exclusive.

Jenn850
06-16-2010, 11:03 AM
On our honeymoon, DH and I went to Italy and noted that in many of the museums, etc. there were these round paintings. We were told that they were commissioned by the husband when a woman got pregnant, and then that he would serve her the first breakfast after the birth on it. It sounds extravagant even for Florence. I think a birth is a big right of passage or life changing moment and it is natural for dad who watches alot of the struggle to want to make a gesture. Obviously women are not conceiving because they had their eye on something shiny. But I will absolutely agree that expecting big gifts on any occasion is ugly.

My husband gave me a beautiful diamond necklace when dd was born. I was completely blown away. He also brought home flowers the day before the planned section (I was devastated that I didn't get to go into labor because she was breech) I thought that was his gesture. If I were going to hope for anything, it would have been a coaster maybe with a picture of Mary on it;)

That said, I do not take off that necklace, and I love to tell dd that her daddy gave it to me because we were so happy she was born.