My co-worker dies leaving a wife and 2 babies...

[cindys]

My co-worker wasnt feeling well last tues..Went to the hospital that evening and died yesterday...

He had cancer of the esophagus (never smoked but his Dad died of the same disease when he was 52) and once diagnosed he went into a coma and his organs started failing...All this happened within a week...He was 48..

He was a wonderful man who met his wife here at work, they married 7 yrs ago and have a little boy who is 6 and a little girl who is 3.

I am heartbroken that his babies will grow up without their Father..My heart is so heavy...

I know his wife (I actually helped plan her bridal shower) and children and would like to do something to help.

After their first baby, she became a SAHM...

I am just at a loss how to help..She has family staying here for a few weeks but they will all go home and she will be here alone..

Any thoughts?



Cindy
Mama to 3 boys...19, 4 & 20mos:heartbeat::heartbeat::heartbeat:

[HIU8]

Is someone setting up a fund for the kids for college or anything (is that something your company might start)?

Can you offer babysitting or help with care so she can look for a job (I am assuming here that she has to get a job---but I don't know).

What about meals done and frozen for her (or a service that provides that)?

[HonoluluMom]

That's so sad - he's so young.

I know people grieve differently, so the only thing I can think of is to make sure you let the wife know that you're there for her and keep letting her know this, especially after the visiting family leaves.

[wellyes]

That's just awful. I'm so sorry for that family. I hope he had great life insurance because dealing with grief *and* money woes is ... I can't even imagine.

The story reminded me of my grandfather - he too was diagnosed with esophageal cancer and was dead in a week or two. While it's a comfort that there is not a lot of suffering, it's terrible that it's a form of cancer that rarely gets diagnosed until it's far too late.

[cindys]

I would like to say that my company would do something like that but I doubt it.

Our co-workers here have collected money for her and the children.

Her oldest is in a private daycare but I believe the baby stays home with her still.

I live over an hr away from her and I work noon-8pm...I have offered to come over on the weekends..

I had thought of the meal plans for her...I will check that out.

[KrisM]

How very sad.

When one of our neighbor's wife passed away, we made a schedule to bring him and the kids meals twice a week for 2 months. He seemed to really appreciate it.

[BelleoftheBallFlagstaff]

My dad had the same cancer, but smoked.... Make sure his family is mindful as the kids get older about checking. There is a bacteria Heliobacter, that is linked to ulcers and esophageal CA.

I will keep them in my thoughts. What a tragedy. I lost my mom at 5. Now I love hearing little stories about her. Maybe your co workers could buy a pretty journal and jot down some stories and kind words. Te kids will appreciate it later on.:grouphug:

[cindys]

The journal is a wonderful idea!!!

I will do that!!

Wow, thanks for that suggestion!

[BelleoftheBallFlagstaff]

The journal is a wonderful idea!!!

I will do that!!

Wow, thanks for that suggestion!

I have a letter my mom wrote me after she was diagnosed, means the world to me.

When they get older and want to know about their dad, it will help. My dad didn't like talking about my mom, too painful. But, I missed out on a lot of info because of it.

A pretty journal with kind words and funny stories will mean so much one day. Glad I could use my experience to help!

[BabyMine]

No advice other than what was mentioned but I'm sending P&PT to the whole family.

[shawnandangel]

I have a letter my mom wrote me after she was diagnosed, means the world to me.

When they get older and want to know about their dad, it will help. My dad didn't like talking about my mom, too painful. But, I missed out on a lot of info because of it.

A pretty journal with kind words and funny stories will mean so much one day. Glad I could use my experience to help!

I just wanted to say what a wonderful idea this is, and so very thoughtful

[infomama]

I just went through this last year but the mama passed. Kids were one year older than your co workers. We helped out with meals and getting the kids around. We have him over and he seemed to really enjoy spending some time away from home. Both kids are in grief counseling and I think that is important. He was very focused on keeping things 'normal' for them and he just couldn't. We did his grocery shopping, someone cleaned his house..everything helped. Just be there for him. I'm so sorry.

[crl]

Along the lines of the journal, if you have any pictures of him, I think his kids would appreciate those down the road.
Catherine

[hillview]

P&PT how sad.
/hillary

[TwinFoxes]

How incredibly sad. My heart goes out to her and her children. I'm just following through and doing just anything will be appreciated. It's very kind of you to want to help.

[MamaKath]

P&PT going out to them. So very sad! I can not even imagine how that would be, my heart hurts for them.

A friend of mine waits a few weeks to send cards, etc., since it is typically the time that the reality starts to hit. Then she follows up with a meal at some point. It sounds like this family could use some of that, maybe even trying to arrange something in your schedule that she could depend on by inviting her over periodically or delivering dinner.

And photos, as was previously mentioned would be really nice. An idea might be to have your co-workers help put together a book about him; everyone do a page type thing for his family. Many office supply stores make color copies and can copy the album pages depending on size. This would allow 2 books to be made from the original for each of the children to have one of their own as well.

[DrSally]

That's so tragic and sad. I'm so sorry for the family. I love the journal idea. Also, any practical help you can give. DH had ulcers as a child (when his parents divorced). I wonder if there's any way to test for the bacteria mentioned.

I also hope the children are able to get grief therapy.

[BelleoftheBallFlagstaff]

That's so tragic and sad. I'm so sorry for the family. I love the journal idea. Also, any practical help you can give. DH had ulcers as a child (when his parents divorced). I wonder if there's any way to test for the bacteria mentioned.

I also hope the children are able to get grief therapy.

There are a few tests, blood, breath and a more invasive one.

"Infection with the Helicobacter pylori bacteria causes inflammation and ulcers in the stomach lining, which may lead to a condition called gastric atrophy (cells that line the stomach are destroyed). This condition may increase the risk of developing squamous cell cancer of the esophagus." (http://www.cancer.gov/cancertopics/pdq/prevention/esophageal/Patient/page2/print)

[bubbaray]

I'm so sorry - P&PT for them all.

[DrSally]

There are a few tests, blood, breath and a more invasive one.

"Infection with the Helicobacter pylori bacteria causes inflammation and ulcers in the stomach lining, which may lead to a condition called gastric atrophy (cells that line the stomach are destroyed). This condition may increase the risk of developing squamous cell cancer of the esophagus." (http://www.cancer.gov/cancertopics/pdq/prevention/esophageal/Patient/page2/print)

Thank you!

[Kitten007]

Nothing to add.

Sending lots of P&PT for the family.

[BelleoftheBallFlagstaff]

Thank you!

Looked into everything esophageal CA when my dad was diagnosed.Glad to help!

[carolinamama]

My heart goes out to that family. P&PT for them. No other suggestions than those already mentioned.