SammyeGail
06-23-2010, 11:38 PM
It just makes me what to cry. Jonas, who has autism, is in a big 'autism' camp this week. When Noah was having some behavioral problems last fall my school system said they didn't have anything to help him but to send him to Jo's school, I was put off at first but then decided it was worth a try, a one on one teacher, etc. It did help him, he was showing signs of AD/HD.
So Noah was able to go to the camp also and we wanted him to go. He's loved it. I had planned to go to the horseback riding, it was something I wanted so much to see and be there for, but I didn't really think it thru.
We will be outside 1/2 a day. I am just crushed. My chronic fatigue is not as bad as it used to be, but its still here.
I have tried many times doing 'outside' when DH takes the boys out, (just did it Monday) withing about 3 minutes I am dizzy and know I am about to collapse. DH has helped me to the door and I've lied in the foyer. It sucks. It breaks my heart when the boys want to go outside and I can't take them. Jonas doesn't understand at all, Noah will sort of understand Mommy has boo-boo's inside, but he forgets the next day. I feel awful for them, its not fair for them.
I'm just so sad and I can't think of any way I could possible go without getting sick and passing out. I know my body, I know what will happen. I hate this illness so much right now.
I know nobody want to hear anyone throw a pity party, this just meant so much to me and I feel like an idiot thinking I could go in the first place :banghead:.
I'll get over it, won't fester in it, I just needed to vent. I've missed things before. Other parents miss things, other parents are going to miss the horseback riding.
Positive side: I've got to see lots of wonderful and funny things my boys do. Watching my DS with mild autism dance touches my heart so much I cry. Noah can be so affectionate and does such silly things I literally LOL.
So Noah was able to go to the camp also and we wanted him to go. He's loved it. I had planned to go to the horseback riding, it was something I wanted so much to see and be there for, but I didn't really think it thru.
We will be outside 1/2 a day. I am just crushed. My chronic fatigue is not as bad as it used to be, but its still here.
I have tried many times doing 'outside' when DH takes the boys out, (just did it Monday) withing about 3 minutes I am dizzy and know I am about to collapse. DH has helped me to the door and I've lied in the foyer. It sucks. It breaks my heart when the boys want to go outside and I can't take them. Jonas doesn't understand at all, Noah will sort of understand Mommy has boo-boo's inside, but he forgets the next day. I feel awful for them, its not fair for them.
I'm just so sad and I can't think of any way I could possible go without getting sick and passing out. I know my body, I know what will happen. I hate this illness so much right now.
I know nobody want to hear anyone throw a pity party, this just meant so much to me and I feel like an idiot thinking I could go in the first place :banghead:.
I'll get over it, won't fester in it, I just needed to vent. I've missed things before. Other parents miss things, other parents are going to miss the horseback riding.
Positive side: I've got to see lots of wonderful and funny things my boys do. Watching my DS with mild autism dance touches my heart so much I cry. Noah can be so affectionate and does such silly things I literally LOL.