Would you have your DD wear the dress from MIL..even if you don't like it?

[alien_host]

I know this sounds ungrateful.....MIL bought DD a dress in a color that doesn't look great on her...and the dress is a size too small, although it just fits....a little short but would be OK I guess. We have a family get together this weekend. Would you just have her wear it? She did give me a gift receipt, but I feel like I can't return it b/c she will be insulted....I did mention to her that she wears a 5, not a 4 but she said she only could find a 4. :rolleyes

So just suck it up and have her wear it or what? ;) I have other dresses that I love so much more that I would rather have her wear but do I "take one for the team"?

TIA!

[cvanbrunt]

Take one for the team. I'm guessing MIL will be thrilled and its really not that big a deal, is it? Unless you are getting formal family pictures taken. Then I might pick another dress.

[Wife_and_mommy]

I wouldn't put clothing on my child that is too small. That's the perfect reason to return it. "I tried it on her and it doesn't quite fit. And ,darn it, they were out of that pattern too." ;)

[cono0507]

agreed. have her wear it to the get together. if she never wears it again, no big deal, but it is worth it not to hurt feelings, IMO. BTDT - my mom has interesting taste in kids clothes! :)

[fivi2]

agreed. have her wear it to the get together. if she never wears it again, no big deal, but it is worth it not to hurt feelings, IMO. BTDT - my mom has interesting taste in kids clothes! :)

:yeahthat:

I do it all the time.

[Cuckoomamma]

Definitely bring it back and use the size as an excuse. She's already built in the reason why you won't find the same color in the correct size. My MIL has done the same thing many times.

One year I felt really bad that dd was wearing an unflattering dress at her bday party and wasn't as enthusiastic about the dress with her. Learned from that and then started exchanging whenever possible. Now we don't see MIL, so it's gotten really easy. She usually sends a size that is borderline, and I can just say to the girls that it doesn't fit rather than point out that I wouldn't let them wear a hoochy mamma outfit or whatever :-)

You've got your out, go for it!

[alien_host]

agreed. have her wear it to the get together. if she never wears it again, no big deal, but it is worth it not to hurt feelings, IMO. BTDT - my mom has interesting taste in kids clothes! :)

I've been leaning towards just having her wear it for a month now...it just seems like a total waste of money, but I guess that's how it goes! It's not a big deal and I don't want to hurt her feelings but I just hate wasting money since it is smallish she won't get a full season out of it. But I guess since I don't love it that's a good thing? ;)

Man I sound horrible!

[goldenpig]

Have her wear it once but keep the tags on and then return it. Then if asked say your DD outgrew it already since it was small. :icon_twisted:

Seriously though, this comes up a lot with my MIL. She always brings clothes for the kids and sometimes they're super cute but sometimes NMS at all (think frilly white lace Winnie the Pooh dresses for 3 yo DD, or polyester infant clothes that she saved from DH's time--that he never actually wore!). I keep trying to tell her not to buy more clothes (we have plenty) and save her money but she keeps bringing stuff. If you want to take the hard line with your MIL, just return it and if asked explain why. But otherwise, it's not your money so don't worry about it too much and donate the clothes when you're done with them (which could be right away!).

[swissair81]

I would not make my child walk around in clothes that were really too small. Maybe my mil is different, but she bought matching dresses for my girls & while the younger dd's dress was perfect, the older dd's dress was simultaneously too big AND too small in different places. She gave me a gift receipt & I used it to get something else.

[mom2binsd]

Have her wear it, take a pic with MIL, then bring an extra outfit as backup (I always do anyway), then inevitably DD will drop food on it and you can change her into your preferred outfit (to ensure said switcheroo, provide DD with a popsicle!).

[cono0507]

Have her wear it, take a pic with MIL, then bring an extra outfit as backup (I always do anyway), then inevitably DD will drop food on it and you can change her into your preferred outfit (to ensure said switcheroo, provide DD with a popsicle!).

love this! :)

[alien_host]

Have her wear it, take a pic with MIL, then bring an extra outfit as backup (I always do anyway), then inevitably DD will drop food on it and you can change her into your preferred outfit (to ensure said switcheroo, provide DD with a popsicle!).

OMG that is brilliant! LOL!

[luckytwenty]

Only if it were handmade or purchased as a souvenir abroad or something--it just sounds like it was a dress she liked, and it's not working out, and she provided the receipt...I don't know, I think in cases like these, it's better to just be open and say "She really needed a size 5" or whatever. But then again, my MIL will tell us if she exchanges something we get her and I have never been hurt by it.

[brittone2]

I'd have her wear it provided it isn't obviously ill-fitting.

It gets trickier IMO when my mom/MIL send clothing like a holiday dress (Christmas or Easter), etc. and I don't like it. This is particularly problematic if for some reason they are thinking it would be a great holiday dress for professional photos, etc. In those cases I try to have DD wear it at a time they'll see it but not necessarily *on* said holiday or for photos. For a regular get together I'd suck it up and have her wear it once before donating.

[DebbieJ]

I would exchange it. It doesn't fit!

[sunshine873]

I truly think either way is acceptable.

1 - have her wear it for that occasion. It saves feelings, etc.

2 - return it and get something that is the right size & that you like! I would tend to go for this option, especially since she provided the receipt. I'm kind of with you that it seems like a waste of money the other way. But...there's something to be said for doing a small thing to make MIL happy. I do love the popsicle suggestion. hehe!

[fivi2]

I'd have her wear it provided it isn't obviously ill-fitting.

It gets trickier IMO when my mom/MIL send clothing like a holiday dress (Christmas or Easter), etc. and I don't like it. This is particularly problematic if for some reason they are thinking it would be a great holiday dress for professional photos, etc. In those cases I try to have DD wear it at a time they'll see it but not necessarily *on* said holiday or for photos. For a regular get together I'd suck it up and have her wear it once before donating.

lol - the Christmas my girls turned 2 we had 4 dresses (for each dd)! I had picked some out, then got ones from my mother, my step-mother, and my MIL. That was an interesting Christmas to be sure! We actually did outfit changes - took pictures opening MILs gifts in her dresses, step-mother's gifts in her dresses, then went to my sister's (where my mother was) in my mother's dresses. However, I used *my* dresses for the Santa pics that year. It was a mess.

[maestramommy]

I would at least return and exchange for a larger size. If MIL asks you can say it was too small. I mean, that's reasonable. She did leave you a gift receipt, so I don't think she'd be offended.

[♥ms.pacman♥]

i would *not* put clothes on my kid that were too small, that's unfair to the kid. i know my DS hates it when his clothes are too tight, so i would never do it just to please a relative. and i maybe my mil is different but if i took it back and exchanged it for something else, i know she would not be insulted at all. like PP said, she did give u a gift receipt, so i see nothing wrong with exchanging it.

[HIU8]

My MIL bought DD a dress I absolutely despised. She bought it at BJ's. We are not a member and there is not one near us, so I could not return it. I have and will return stuff from MIL and my own mother that I feel will not look good on DD or that is to small. I have absolutely NO issues doing that. Anyway, A friend asked me if she could borrow it for her DD. So technically it got worn (and when MIL asked if it was worn I said yes).

[JTsMom]

I'd return it. It would feel like too big of a waste for me not to.

[ChefGirl]

That just happened to us last weekend for DD's be-lated birthday. We got an outfit (from God knows where) for her 5th birthday but the size is 4T. And, we have told MIL repeatly that DD does NOT like pink. She's not your typcial girly girl who likes pink. Her favorite color is BLUE! Anyway, I showed the outfit to DD, she had this "I dont' want anything to do with THAT" look!

I REFUSE to put anything on my child from MIL, b/c 99% of the time they are just ridiculous and plain UGLY! She has no taste whatsoever! We neglected to prepare a list for her this year. So once again, we got junk instead!

[infomama]

Definitely bring it back and use the size as an excuse. She's already built in the reason why you won't find the same color in the correct size.
This is what I would do.

[Moneypenny]

I would return it and get something that fits. I just can't stand to be wasteful with anything.

[PearlsMom]

If it wouldn't be uncomfortable for your DD to wear, I'd put her in it and make MIL happy. It's a cheap way to score points. Then donate it. I wouldn't feel bad about not getting a full season's wear out it - maybe some family whose DD would look great in that color will find it at the Goodwill and she'll have a great time in a barely-used bargain.

[Roleysmom]

I think you should take one for the team.

I put my DD1 in a dress my MIL bought specifically for her first birthday that I hated. It was too foofy and not my style at all. But it wasn't worth the hurt feelings to say anything. So she wore it as intended for her birthday. And we have about 100 pictures of her in it on her first birthday. Oh well!

[newg]

Return it for something similar in style (that you like) and in the size that your DD can wear for a while.
Then you can tell MIL that because DD is growing so much her outfit didn't fit, but you did your best to find something similar in a size that does fit her.

FIL bought a dress for DD at christmas for easter.....it was okay looking, but I not really the style I go for and totally the wrong size for four months later! So I used size as an excuse and waited a bit so I knew they wouldn't have any more of the dresses and then returned it for a different dress that DD and I would like.

[Indianamom2]

I say keep it, have her wear it at least once for MIL and then add it to a donate/outgrown pile. It will go a long way toward keeping the peace with your family and it will be in EUC for donation to someone who may absolutely love it/need it. Win-win situation!

[SunCB]

Have her wear it and take pix so you can send (or print if needed) them to her. You can say she wore it even if it was just for the few mins for pix then you return it and get something else in her size that you like!

My MIL saved several pieces of clothing that my SILs wore. I took pix in them so I could say she had them on and now most of the clothes are packed back up as MIL wants certain pieces back :roll so I figured I would just give them all back as most I really do not care for (1 or 2 are alright). Not sure what she is going to do but if we have another DD (hoping and praying DH wants to try for just 1 more) then I am sure I would have to put her in them too which fine.

[fattytuna]

how much smaller? like one pp mentioned, if it doesn't cause your DD discomfort, just let her wear it. she won't ever have to wear it again after that. and it's really up to you whether or not you want pictures taken with the dress on.

like Roleysmom, my mom and mil bought three dresses for DD for her first birthday party, one of which looked like something that belonged on Miss Havisham - i'm not kidding you, it came all the way down to the floor, except it was pink. neither woman ever bothered to ask if i, DD's mother, perhaps would like to dress DD the way i wanted on her 1st birthday. but i decided to just take a deep breath and let it go. DD changed three times that day and wore all the dresses they bought her. my mom and mil were beaming the whole time and i thought DD was going to go blind from all the flash off their cameras.

fight the fights worth fighting for :)

[BabyMine]

I would put DD in it and take a picture then return it. At least MIL will see her in it.

My MIL does this all the time and it drives me up the wall. I even email her the sizes and she just ignores it.

[JBaxter]

Im with the return it posters. I hate to only wear something once it just seems wastefull especially of its already to small. I would just tell MIL it was "way" to small and get something your DD actually looks nice in and is cofortable

[MamaMolly]

[QUOTE=fivi2;2768362]lol - the Christmas my girls turned 2 we had 4 dresses (for each dd)! I had picked some out, then got ones from my mother, my step-mother, and my MIL. That was an interesting Christmas to be sure! /QUOTE]

OMG I think you might be my long lost sister! My mom, sister and stepmom *all* buy DD holiday clothes. Easter and Christmas! It drives me N.U.T.S. Absolutely nucking futs. None of them have my taste. My sister comes closest, my mother always buys overly fussy clothes and my stepmom prefers leopard print, fake fur, polyester and icky frothy lace. :eek: I know they love us and it gives them pleasure to dress DD for special occasions, but I'm her mama and that is MY pleasure. It is so pushy and rude IMO, especially when they think their dress should be 'the one' in the photos.

OP: I would have DD wear the dress and facilitate an outfit change like a PP mentioned. I have actually done this. :bag

If she had just bought one in the right size I would say don't bother, but I think it matters to her because she bought one knowing it might not fit, so she must have REALLY liked it. Think of the MIL brownie points you'll earn!!

[fivi2]

OMG I think you might be my long lost sister! My mom, sister and stepmom *all* buy DD holiday clothes. Easter and Christmas! It drives me N.U.T.S. Absolutely nucking futs. None of them have my taste. My sister comes closest, my mother always buys overly fussy clothes and my stepmom prefers leopard print, fake fur, polyester and icky frothy lace. :eek: I know they love us and it gives them pleasure to dress DD for special occasions, but I'm her mama and that is MY pleasure. It is so pushy and rude IMO, especially when they think their dress should be 'the one' in the photos.



Yeah - my sister often buys stuff too, but thankfully did not that year! My sister and step mother do okay, taste wise. My mother buys things that are too fussy and frilly, and mil sounds like your Step-mother with the fake leopard print and fake fur!

I know they are trying to be nice, but like you siad, sometimes *I* want to dress *my* children for special occasions!

[BelleoftheBallFlagstaff]

Have her wear it once but keep the tags on and then return it. Then if asked say your DD outgrew it already since it was small. :icon_twisted:


I wouldn't wear clothes too small for me,as a matter of comfort. I kinda feel like since she knew it was the wrong size and bought it anyway that is kinda disrespectful.

[s7714]

No, I wouldn't make her wear it. If it's too small and MIL asks just say DD tried it but it was too small. However, I don't feel obligated to put my children in clothing gifts just to show it off for the person who purchased it, so I may be the odd woman out.

[alien_host]

I decided to let DD choose the dress that she wanted to wear for the family get together...she did not pick MIL's dress ;) I did have her try it on and it was a little short.

I think I'll take it back for a store credit or see if SIL wants it for her DD. Thanks for the suggestions....and actually I should have her put it on tomorrow and I'll take that picture ;)