Passive-aggressive much, MIL?

[gobadgers]

So, MIL knows that I'm not a big fan of Dora. DD watches it on TV occasionally and, of course, likes it. Not obsessed for life... just likes Dora (about as much as any other show she sees).

When MIL and FIL came to visit, they came LOADED UP with Dora toys. OK fine, I was a little annoyed to have that much junk in the house, and also I find it a little sad that you want to bond with your granddaughter over licensed characters but whatever. And in general we get along just fine so the rest of the trip was without incident.

Well, they've been gone for less than 2 weeks before a package shows up in the mail with MORE DORA. Towel, sunglasses, underwear, hair bands. Everything in the package was Dora. Really? Is that really necessary? Couldn't you have found something nice if you wanted to send a package to your granddaughter?

I know this is small potatoes compared to many in-law issues. But it really has that aggressive feeling of testing a boundary. (Oh, another reason it gave that vibe was that it also contained one of those greeting cards that sings when you open it, which is known to be step-MIL's trademark). When we skyped with MIL so DD could thank her, the only thing I said was something about never having seen so much Dora stuff in one place. I need to let it go under the bridge, but I'm fairly annoyed.

[WatchingThemGrow]

Oh, yeah...my stepmother does the same kind of stuff- like with the Easter Bunny and Halloween and Santa - all that we just don't "do." I just kinda say, "oh, thanks for the package" and don't goo over it all. Hoping my lack of gratitude will slow it down.

[AshleyAnn]

Oh wow. yeah tha would annoy the crap out of me. My in laws are big into licensed characterd crap so I know its coming my way and I am dreading it. I can't stand dora so you get double pity from me.

[R2sweetboys]

Okay, I know this is the bitching post and you have every right to feel annoyed. We've gotten our fair share of junk over the years from well-meaning family members. But... I think it's nice that your IL's take the time to go out and buy something for your daughter that they think she will like. I'm sure that they don't share/understand your views against licensed characters. There are many grandparents that have little to do with their grandchildren. It's wonderful that they want to bond with your daughter, even if it isn't exactly the way you would choose. And hey, they don't live close so maybe you could make some of the junk disappear until they visit again. :wink2:

[belovedgandp]

So sorry. Yes, she probably knows exactly what she's doing and doesn't care.

My ILs go overboard with the same thing. They get it in their head that we like a certain thing and that is the only idea they have for us. Over the top crappy stuff too just in multiples.

[California]

It sounds like your MIL has a picture in her head of who your DD is, and she sees that instead of taking time to get to know the real little girl. I would find that frustrating too, especially when she pushes her fantasy on your kid by buying her a bunch of Dora stuff that your DD really isn't into. Head to toe Dora is a little much!

But... at least it's Dora and not Bratz :)

[catsnkid]

Ughh I hate that crap. I never buy it unless it is really good quality winnie the pooh at a thrift store or it is snoopy (I make an exception :) ) However MIL is always buying us licensed stuff of the WORST quality (think polyester k-mart). Plus I just found out if I ever have a DD she is going to go crazy with the American Girl stuff..

[MamaMolly]

Aside from filling your house with stuff you don't need or want and showering your DD with toys 'just because' I have got to say ITA that your MIL is totally passive aggressive. You have stated your preference for your child. Why would she think it is fine, fun or funny to go against your wishes???

Seriously, I'd find out what she doesn't like and send it to her in copious amounts for every.gift.giving occasion. Be it red wine or schlitz malt liquor. Be sure to include a singing card, preferably a Dora singing card!

[gobadgers]

Thanks for the commiseration, ladies, I needed it!


Okay, I know this is the bitching post and you have every right to feel annoyed. We've gotten our fair share of junk over the years from well-meaning family members. But... I think it's nice that your IL's take the time to go out and buy something for your daughter that they think she will like. I'm sure that they don't share/understand your views against licensed characters. There are many grandparents that have little to do with their grandchildren. It's wonderful that they want to bond with your daughter, even if it isn't exactly the way you would choose. And hey, they don't live close so maybe you could make some of the junk disappear until they visit again. :wink2:

About this, you are correct that we are lucky to have grandparents who are involved in the kids' lives. I would argue that going out and loading up on Dora accessories is not the same as making a real effort for DD though. If anything, it reads as a bit of a slap in my face, the mother who doesn't think it's in my DD's best interest to be overexposed to Dora.

A MIL who consistently crosses the line is a problem, and it starts with crap like mine pulled last week. Thus, my vent in this forum ;)

[gobadgers]

Seriously, I'd find out what she doesn't like and send it to her in copious amounts for every.gift.giving occasion. Be it red wine or schlitz malt liquor. Be sure to include a singing card, preferably a Dora singing card!

Ooh, this sounds tempting right now :icon_twisted: