Another daycare v.? thread: home daycares v. institutional ones

[luckytwenty]

I am not sure if the word "instituitonal" is correct--you know what I mean, though. One that's not in some nice lady's house, but is in a stand alone building or part of a larger center. I'm trying to weigh which one is best for us. I like the homeiness and warmth of a home daycare but I also like the way ages are segregated with more "official" places and would love some feedback.

We're looking at two possibilities right now. One is indeed a nice lady's home. She's more than just nice--she's extremely smart (she has a law degree!) and all of the food is organic and kosher. We have used her drop-in service for my daughter a few times and it went very well. I know the baby would get a lot of love, and when he's old enough for solids, fresh, homemade organic baby food! And unique art projects and learning opportunities that he probably wouldn't get elsewhere. I think this daycare provider is especially talented and bright and feel like it would be wonderful to expose my baby to someone so special.

The thing I worry about: she has to follow state mandates of course for teacher/child ratio, but she has a real mix, with most of her children being between 18-36 months, a few infants, and in the afternoons, a few elementary school children. She has staff that comes in when she has more than whatever the ratio is. She also offers a "drop in service" (which I've used occasionally), which means there's often a new kid hanging out for a few hours. Again, I know she follows whatever state regulations there are, but I wonder about having random toddlers and older children in a room with little infants? As a mom, I like structure and routine and regular naptimes. How can she enforce that when she has so much flux day to day?

There are other home daycares in the area as well that I could look into--but I really like this woman and wonder if my concerns aren't really justified?

The other place we're seriously considering is new, and part of a synagogue that already has a wonderful preschool and Hebrew school. It's two rooms for infants up to 15 months and/or walking, one room for sleeping babies and one for those awake. Ratio is 4:1 with a max of 8 infants. It's slightly less conveniently located but any daycare options for us will require going a bit out of our way for the commute. We're touring tomorrow.

Any thoughts?

[elephantmeg]

I'd say the woman sounds awesome. And really in a family there is the flux of kids in and out from school etc. We did home day care for a long time and the older kids really loved the little ones and the little ones learned so much from them!

[egoldber]

I think it's just what you are comfortable with. We prefer a larger center. I like the accountability and the coverage for vacations and sick leave. I also prefer there to be a manager/supervisor that I can go to if there is a teacher issue.

We have used an in home daycare a couple times for coverage when our center was closed (Jewish center, closed for Jewish holidays) and while she was lovely, it was just not a situation I would be comfortable with on a full time basis. The mix of ages (infants to elementary) bothered me quite a bit. But obviously others like that.

[HIU8]

We've been in your same situation and have done both (although the in-home one was not Kosher--I wish it had been though).

Pro's to the in-home situation: DS went to an in-home daycare from 3 months until 21 months. Really a great situation for an infant. DS was held a lot and the other kids played with him and he got to eat when he was hungry. The lady was really close to my house and open no matter what (open even when snow closed everything else down--except of course my office).

Con's to in-home: for DS the con was that the lady who owned this daycare was not kosher. She also at the time had a small child and when he was sick, he was there (so other kids would get sick). Although he was not allowed in the same areas as the other children when he was sick.

Pro's to the shul daycare: Since DS was 21 months old he has been at our JCC daycare (and DD is there now as well). Once DS got to almost 2 we really felt like we wanted more emphasis on Jewish holidays etc...--which he was not getting before at daycare (but was at home). He also was now with other kids his age and in a more preschool like environment. The hours were about the same and it was convenient for DS to take him and me to pick him up. Plus, they have options for before care, just preschool, aftercare etc... (so it worked out nicely when I went part-time). Plus, it's Kosher.

Con's: lunches are dairy only and DS is picky (although DD could care less). It it more like school (depends on how you feel about a school environment at a younger age).

Overall, we are very happy that we chose the JCC program. However, in the very beginning it was more than wonderful to have DS cared for in a more personalized level than with multiple babies in a room.

[klwa]

I agree with Beth that it's going to really depend on what you're comfortable with. I feel much better with a center rather than an in-home situation. They're open every day I'm at work (excepting snow conditions), so I don't have to burn leave because the in-home is sick or is on their own vacation that may or may not conicide with mine. Depending on the center depends on the amount of hugging that's going to happen. (Ours refuses to go after Star ratings because of the rules regarding initiating child/instructor interaction, but the kids are hugged & loved to pieces & leave well prepared for kindergarten.)

[bubbaray]

I think it's just what you are comfortable with. We prefer a larger center. I like the accountability and the coverage for vacations and sick leave. I also prefer there to be a manager/supervisor that I can go to if there is a teacher issue.




:yeahthat:

Having done both, *we* prefer a center over in-home, mainly for the coverage issues we had with in-home care.

[billysmommy]

I think it's just what you are comfortable with. We prefer a larger center. I like the accountability and the coverage for vacations and sick leave. I also prefer there to be a manager/supervisor that I can go to if there is a teacher issue.


This is how we felt as well. We looked at some wonderful in-home places but liked the larger centers better for the reasons Beth stated.

[Sweetum]

We were in the same situation about a month ago. We decided to with a home-based daycare because we felt that the care-providers are not changing shifts are there is no variability in that. It would be this one person or 2 people (or in some cases 3) throughout the day, everyday, and that's it. In a larger daycare (chains, as I call them), we observed, that not all care-givers in all shifts were caring, and there was no way we could pick who was to take care of DS. We also noticed that their way of getting a child acclimatized to the daycare was to let them cry till they accepted that mama/dadda are not going to be here and I'd better get used to it, and not by bonding with the care-giver. Not to say all care-givers are like that or all such centers are like that, but that was what we saw at all places we visited. The only reason we were considering those were because of how structured they were, how they had specific activities (given that we can't do them with our kids, we want the care-giver to do them) and that they had good security systems.

We are glad we decided to go with our home-based. For DS it was importatnt to bond with the care-giver - he's not a very outgoing child at this point and is very anxious with strangers, even when we are around. And also becuase he was 15 mo, we felt he needed the nurturing and care that a home-based provider would give. again, not to say that the larger ones don't, but there is more variability. This current place has a 8 kids (so small), 2 care-givers (one is the owner), is a nice secure home, great backyard, and she cooks good food.

We are hoping to move him to a college/university CDC when he's 2.5. We found that these are very very good in terms of facilities and care. But they are hard to get into, and we got onto their waitlists. We think DS will have more things to do and explore. And even if there is some variability in the care-givers, he would be old enough (we thnk) to handle it at that time.

my $0.02

[luckytwenty]

We also noticed that their way of getting a child acclimatized to the daycare was to let them cry till they accepted that mama/dadda are not going to be here and I'd better get used to it, and not by bonding with the care-giver.


Ugh, that would really bother me. I sure hope the place I'm looking at doesn't handle adjustment issues that way. Right now it's only 1 teacher to 4 infants (and they don't even have 4 yet) so hopefully it's not quite that cold. :-(

[egoldber]

We were in the same situation about a month ago. We decided to with a home-based daycare because we felt that the care-providers are not changing shifts are there is no variability in that. It would be this one person or 2 people (or in some cases 3) throughout the day, everyday, and that's it. In a larger daycare (chains, as I call them), we observed, that not all care-givers in all shifts were caring, and there was no way we could pick who was to take care of DS. We also noticed that their way of getting a child acclimatized to the daycare was to let them cry till they accepted that mama/dadda are not going to be here and I'd better get used to it, and not by bonding with the care-giver. Not to say all care-givers are like that or all such centers are like that, but that was what we saw at all places we visited. The only reason we were considering those were because of how structured they were, how they had specific activities (given that we can't do them with our kids, we want the care-giver to do them) and that they had good security systems.

FWIW, our child care is nothing like this. It's also not a chain. The caregivers are extremely warm and loving. Most have been there for many, many years. They love and hug on the children and are extremely warm. She has two sets of caregivers per day, morning and then afternoon. But she knows and loves all 4 and they all adore her.

I know what you mean though. I worked in a daycare in the summers in college and in retrospect it was not a great place and I was a terrible caregiver. But there are terrific centers, just like there are terrible home providers.

[boolady]

FWIW, our child care is nothing like this. It's also not a chain. The caregivers are extremely warm and loving. Most have been there for many, many years. They love and hug on the children and are extremely warm. She has two sets of caregivers per day, morning and then afternoon. But she knows and loves all 4 and they all adore her.

I know what you mean though. I worked in a daycare in the summers in college and in retrospect it was not a great place and I was a terrible caregiver. But there are terrific centers, just like there are terrible home providers.

This is all true for ours, although it is part of a franchise. I have never experienced children being treated that way at our center. DD would never be at her daycare/preschool if I was not convinced that the staff there was kind and loving and that she was very bonded to the teachers she sees every day. She has always had a lead teacher and one or two assistants assigned to her room that are there every day, all day. She knows every teacher in that school, including the ones she hasn't even had yet, so if one of her teachers is sick, and someone else helps out, it's a familiar friendly face.

I'm sure there are center experiences that are not so great, but I know folks who have had very poor home daycare experiences, as well. It's really too individualized and I think you just have to go with what feels right after you've visited several places.

[mommylamb]

I think it just depends on the quality of care you get in the two options. We've done both. For us, the home based daycare has been FAR superior. But, we had concerns with our particular center. Also, my home based daycare is run by two people and they have someone who comes in when either of them is sick or if they go on vacation or have to be away for any reason, so my daycare never closes (with the exception of when the federal government is closed, in which case my office closes so it's fine). ETA: that someone is the same person, so they have the same sub all the time and the kids know and like her.

There are currently 7 children at his daycare. 4 of them (including my DS) just turned 3, so he has three other children his same age. But there are babies there and my daycare providers do an excellent job of juggling the different needs of different age groups. I've never had a complaint. His day is far more structured at school than it would be if I stayed home.

There are great centers too, but for us the home based model was better. I also think the quality of food that DS gets there is far superior to what he got at the center. They do a lot of home made things rather than industrial style mac and cheese (or the like).

The center we were at had some problems with the management (in my opinion) and I, while I loved the teacher in the infant 1 room (who actually is the one who started the home daycare, so he's with her now), the infant 2 room teachers were terrible and it was an awful situation. I am so much happier now, and it is so much better for DS. Then again, there are some fantastic centers out there (I'm sure).

I wouldn't worry about the different ages thing (or at least, that wouldn't be on my list of concerns when choosing). I'd focus more on quality of care, price, location, how long they are open each day, whether they close down periodically (as some home daycares do), cleanliness, quality of food, ratio, activities, etc.

[MontrealMum]

We were in the same situation about a month ago. We decided to with a home-based daycare because we felt that the care-providers are not changing shifts are there is no variability in that. It would be this one person or 2 people (or in some cases 3) throughout the day, everyday, and that's it. In a larger daycare (chains, as I call them), we observed, that not all care-givers in all shifts were caring, and there was no way we could pick who was to take care of DS. We also noticed that their way of getting a child acclimatized to the daycare was to let them cry till they accepted that mama/dadda are not going to be here and I'd better get used to it, and not by bonding with the care-giver. Not to say all care-givers are like that or all such centers are like that, but that was what we saw at all places we visited. The only reason we were considering those were because of how structured they were, how they had specific activities (given that we can't do them with our kids, we want the care-giver to do them) and that they had good security systems.


Our daycare, which is a government-certified center and not a chain, is nothing like this. DS has one main teacher and one aide all day long. There are no "shift changes". Another teacher-aide pair are next door, and all the rooms are buddied up like this for relief for adult bathroom breaks etc. Each pair of rooms has kids the same age, and they do playground activities and walks together.

Teachers/aides only work a max of 4 days a week, so staff is rotated through the center so that DS has a different teacher on Fridays. But she's the same teacher all year long, as is the M-Th. teacher. He'll be having the same teachers next year as well.

Everyone in the center knows DS' name including the directress and many of the other parents, and I'm well satisfied at the bonding between DS and his caregivers. There are plenty of hugs and kisses, and he's fond of all of them. I've never seen a crying child not being comforted by a staff member. DS readily gives kisses and hugs to his teachers upon leaving each day, and he's the kind of kid that really rations out his affections, so I know it's genuine.

I especially like that our larger center is able to easily cover staff illness, often with someone that DS already knows. I like the organization and the predictable scheduling, and I like that if there's an issue, there's a directress who oversees everything. I also like the security precautions our center has in place, and the fact that they've been very accomodating of DS' food allergies (which he's now outgrown). All food is prepared on site and the menu was created by a dietician.

You've got to go with what works for you. There are downsides to both centers and home-based, and bad seeds among both. But we've been extremely happy with our CPE.

[wimama]

We were in the same situation about a month ago. We decided to with a home-based daycare because we felt that the care-providers are not changing shifts are there is no variability in that. It would be this one person or 2 people (or in some cases 3) throughout the day, everyday, and that's it. In a larger daycare (chains, as I call them), we observed, that not all care-givers in all shifts were caring, and there was no way we could pick who was to take care of DS. We also noticed that their way of getting a child acclimatized to the daycare was to let them cry till they accepted that mama/dadda are not going to be here and I'd better get used to it, and not by bonding with the care-giver. Not to say all care-givers are like that or all such centers are like that, but that was what we saw at all places we visited. The only reason we were considering those were because of how structured they were, how they had specific activities (given that we can't do them with our kids, we want the care-giver to do them) and that they had good security systems.


Yikes, I would have left my DS at a center like that either.

The top three reasons I chose a big daycare center are: dependability, accountability/security, and age appropriate activities.

Our daycare center is large, but it still has a family feel to it. We love our center. DS has been going there since he was 7 weeks old and he will continue to go every summer at least once he starts K4 next year.

There are two main teachers/providers in every room. Sometimes during the early morning or later evening hours or break time, other providers fill in. They have communication sheets they send home with the kids, so we always were aware of how our DS day went, even if both of his regular teachers was gone. My DS has been very attached to some of his teachers. Some providers really sync with him better than others. But, he knows and seems to like every teacher at his daycare. One of his favorite teachers always asks him for hugs, they really get each other and have a special bond. Crying babies and kids always get held at drop off. They aren't left to cry. When my DS went through his separation anxiety phase, his little friend would meet him at the gate, give him a kiss and hug and take him by the hand and lead him into the class. It was so cute, of course my DS was 18 months old when he decided to get separation anxiety.

The center also has mostly solid wood gates for doorways, instead of doors and half walls between rooms. There are only two exceptions, which are the youngest two baby rooms. They have solid doors, to keep things quiet. And, the center is laid out so you have to walk through other rooms to get to other parts of the center. There is someone always in ear shot, to hear or see if something inappropriate is going on. And, they have video cameras in every classroom that link up to monitors in the directors office. I like that set up. I don't like or trust closed doors. Which is the main reason I worry about a home daycare environment. I worry about what would be going on there when I am not there. Is my DS parked in front of a TV? Are there other family members or friends that stop by and have access to the children? And, now after watching our Catholic churches videos about child molestation and abuse, I am even more paranoid about that type of stuff.

My DH and I own our own business and we can't just cancel out a days worth of appointments, if the daycare provider gets sick. We don't have back up child care. We need a dependable provider. Our center has closed early once and closed once due to snow in the last four years. And, we live in a very snowy climate. We need that stability.

My DS is the type of kid that needs variety and lots of interaction in his days. He gets board if we spend two days in a row at home. I think he would be easily board in a home daycare environment. His daycare always has age appropriate activities, crafts and learning units. They go on field trips throughout the year and have a special summer program that has special activities planned just about every week.

It is all about what you feel comfortable with. Not all home daycares or daycare centers are created equal. Finding a daycare that is the right fit is worth the effort.

Good luck to you!

[AnnieW625]

We chose an in home center, but I also looked at two non home centers. I never went to daycare so I always knew that I wanted either a nanny or an in home center as my first choice. The two non in home centers were quite nice, but had really long waiting lists. One is even at the end of our block. Being from a smallish city in Northern California I didn't quite understand the need to get on wait lists the minute you conceive so I really missed the mark on the non home centers.

[Sweetum]

I wouldn't worry about the different ages thing (or at least, that wouldn't be on my list of concerns when choosing). I'd focus more on quality of care, price, location, how long they are open each day, whether they close down periodically (as some home daycares do), cleanliness, quality of food, ratio, activities, etc.

I agree. Our home-based daycare does have a vacation week (going on now, so DH is home with DS), and that is quite inconvenient (esp given that it's only been a month there!). Some parents even like the interaction with different ages - helps them learn/teach.

I'm glad to hear that not all centers are like that - guess we just picked the wrong ones to visit! I can tell you and so can DH (we visited separately, and we both spent time there with DS to know how it's like there) that the kids too weren't very attached to the care-givers. To us it seemed like the care-givers were just about keeping them engaged. So, I think it's good to spend some time there if you can, before you make your decision.

Also, our neighbor's kid - same age as DS is in a larger daycare - we visited that too (and it was just about ok for our needs) is doing great! And she's a very social child. So, I think it also depends on the child.

[luckytwenty]

Thanks, this is all really reassuring. I'll definitely look around, and this helps me know what to look for. My older kids were home with me until the youngest was 2 (at which point we did preschool + aftercare) so it's a new and kind of scary territory for me.