I feel like DH is deployed...

[lmwbasye]

we just moved here. He did a 15 monther to the sandbox and then 10 months in a military school so now we're back to the Army life. This is week one and I'm exhausted and that's with both kids in camp (which is supposed to end today). While we are stationed here, he's going to be working 5:30 a.m. until 6 p.m. Kiddos go to bed by 7:00. They gave him his work Blackberry yesterday and he had to "work" on the phone until bed. Saturday mornings, he's always at a road race, triathalon or biking with the triathalon club, which takes up most of the morning.

My boys keep asking where Daddy is and I flat out had to remind them of the deployment and that we won't get to see Daddy nearly as much as when we were in KS. Poor things.

Oh, and he has orders to deploy a year from now.

Sigh.

[happymomma]

Man, that's hard especially with 2 little ones. :hug5:

[AshleyAnn]

Uggg...That sucks. DH is reserves and keeps being asked to volunteer for special stuff that takes him away from home and we kepe agreeing to it because we can't afford not to so in the 8 months of DD's life he's been around for 3. I'm a single mom with a wedding ring.

[DebbieJ]

Laura,

(((HUGS)))

Thank you to you and your DH for all your sacrifices!

[longtallsally05]

Another military wife/SAHM here...mid-deployment. I can relate to your situation because my DH used to have tunnel vision when it came to doing his own thing vs doing stuff with the children. I'm guessing your DH is kind of clueless about this. May I suggest having a frank conversation with your DH informing him that the children are asking where he is all the time? Be sure to add that you feel sad because you don't know what to tell them without hurting their feelings. I don't mean to be harsh, but your DH, not you, is the one who ought to explain why your DH is spending his Saturday free time training for triathalons instead of being with his children while he has the opportunity. If your DH is anything like mine, he'll do anything to avoid having that conversation with his children (which is why he is letting you field the questions right now) and he will either scale back the triathalon business, or he'll start looking for activities they can do TOGETHER during his limited free time. If he protests, remind him that you know active duty military people are allotted time for PT during the duty day, so it's not like he has to stop running/swimming. Also, there will be opportunities for triathalons in the future when your children are older. They won't always think their daddy is a rock star, but they do right now, and that ought to be a pretty gratifying experience while it lasts. Good luck!

[marge234]

Laura,

(((HUGS)))

Thank you to you and your DH for all your sacrifices!

:yeahthat:

[Hawkeyewife]

Another military wife/SAHM here...mid-deployment. I can relate to your situation because my DH used to have tunnel vision when it came to doing his own thing vs doing stuff with the children. I'm guessing your DH is kind of clueless about this. May I suggest having a frank conversation with your DH informing him that the children are asking where he is all the time? Be sure to add that you feel sad because you don't know what to tell them without hurting their feelings. I don't mean to be harsh, but your DH, not you, is the one who ought to explain why your DH is spending his Saturday free time training for triathalons instead of being with his children while he has the opportunity. If your DH is anything like mine, he'll do anything to avoid having that conversation with his children (which is why he is letting you field the questions right now) and he will either scale back the triathalon business, or he'll start looking for activities they can do TOGETHER during his limited free time. If he protests, remind him that you know active duty military people are allotted time for PT during the duty day, so it's not like he has to stop running/swimming. Also, there will be opportunities for triathalons in the future when your children are older. They won't always think their daddy is a rock star, but they do right now, and that ought to be a pretty gratifying experience while it lasts. Good luck!

GREAT POST! I totally agree, maybe DH simply doesn't understand how much he is missing out with the kids. It took my husband until our third child came along to understand what he was missing.

We've done 3 deployments with kids and a very tough year in Naval Test Pilot School (which I thought was even more difficult on the family than a deployment) and next week are moving back to VA for DH's next sea tour (and work ups and deployments within the next year). My husband seems to turn inward when faced with a deployment or difficult work situation but over the last few years he realized that when he is home, family comes first and when things are less intense at work, he makes time for all of us! We would never have been able to have four kids in the military if this hadn't happened. Military families make so many sacrifices for their active duty loved ones whether deployed or not. Unless you have gone through it I think it's hard to understand how all-encompassing military careers can be.

I hope you can work things out with your husband and best wishes for you and your family with your upcoming deployment. Take Care.

[SnuggleBuggles]

Another military wife/SAHM here...mid-deployment. I can relate to your situation because my DH used to have tunnel vision when it came to doing his own thing vs doing stuff with the children. I'm guessing your DH is kind of clueless about this. May I suggest having a frank conversation with your DH informing him that the children are asking where he is all the time? Be sure to add that you feel sad because you don't know what to tell them without hurting their feelings. I don't mean to be harsh, but your DH, not you, is the one who ought to explain why your DH is spending his Saturday free time training for triathalons instead of being with his children while he has the opportunity. If your DH is anything like mine, he'll do anything to avoid having that conversation with his children (which is why he is letting you field the questions right now) and he will either scale back the triathalon business, or he'll start looking for activities they can do TOGETHER during his limited free time. If he protests, remind him that you know active duty military people are allotted time for PT during the duty day, so it's not like he has to stop running/swimming. Also, there will be opportunities for triathalons in the future when your children are older. They won't always think their daddy is a rock star, but they do right now, and that ought to be a pretty gratifying experience while it lasts. Good luck!

I think that is an awesome reminder for all parents.

I'm sorry you are going through all this. Thank you to you and your family.

Beth