DH you are the laziest person I've ever met

[KrisM]

Seriously. I did laundry late last night and folded all the shirts and pants and left them on the washer, because he was in bed already and I didn't want to wake him. This morning, he went to the laundry room and picked out a shirt a pants to wear and went upstairs to get dressed, leaving the rest of the clothes there!

[arivecchi]

Oh yeah, I recognize this technique. SO irritating! Maybe hide the clothes next time. :icon_twisted:

[mytwosons]

I think you are going to have to wake him up next time. :icon_twisted:

[cvanbrunt]

I hear you sister! My fantastic life mate is apparently allergic to opening his drawers. I put all the clean folded laundry on his side of the bed. He ignores it until he wants to go to sleep then puts it all on the floor right next to the bed. Seriously, DH? You are unbelievable. Our four year old can put her laundry away.

[TwinFoxes]

DH once got something out of the dryer, and put the rest of clean clothes that were in the dryer into our downstairs kitchen's sink. So he had them IN HIS ARMS, and yet couldn't muster the energy to bring them upstairs...I guess they were soooo heavy he just had to put them in the sink. :rolleyes:

[twowhat?]

Seriously. I did laundry late last night and folded all the shirts and pants and left them on the washer, because he was in bed already and I didn't want to wake him. This morning, he went to the laundry room and picked out a shirt a pants to wear and went upstairs to get dressed, leaving the rest of the clothes there!

Uh oh, I am your DH :bag

I just don't have the energy and putting away laundry is low on my priority list. I do, however, do a ton of other things...I'm thinking this is just ONE example of your DH's laziness!!

[boolady]

Uh oh, I am your DH :bag

I just don't have the energy and putting away laundry is low on my priority list. I do, however, do a ton of other things...I'm thinking this is just ONE example of your DH's laziness!!

I was just hoping that this is one on the list, because there are many weeks when most of my clean folded laundry is in a stack on the shelf in my closet and I choose what I need from there. It's just not a big deal to me, but I am very neat overall (I think).

[KrisM]

I was just hoping that this is one on the list, because there are many weeks when most of my clean folded laundry is in a stack on the shelf in my closet and I choose what I need from there. It's just not a big deal to me, but I am very neat overall (I think).

Oh, there are many times I don't put away laundry. But, if I was in the laundry room, I would definitely bring the entire stack of folded shirts, rather than picking through to find one to wear and carrying only that up stairs. The stack might sit on my bed all day, but that's okay. I don't even care that he didn't put it away. I just thought he could carry them all upstairs!

And, yes. If I forget to pour milk at dinner, he'll pour his own, but no one else's. He'll get up and get himself a napkin, but no one else. Garbage recently became my job because he forgot about half the time and then was too late about half of the other times. Quite lazy.

[fivi2]

I was just hoping that this is one on the list, because there are many weeks when most of my clean folded laundry is in a stack on the shelf in my closet and I choose what I need from there. It's just not a big deal to me, but I am very neat overall (I think).

Dude, my laundry sits in the dryer until it is time for the next load to go in! I will pick through and grab clean clothes for all of us and then just leave the rest... :bag

[ett]

Dude, my laundry sits in the dryer until it is time for the next load to go in! I will pick through and grab clean clothes for all of us and then just leave the rest... :bag

Recently, I've only been folding enough clothes out of the laundry basket, so that I have enough space to unload the next load of clean clothes.:bag

[mousemom]

Dude, my laundry sits in the dryer until it is time for the next load to go in! I will pick through and grab clean clothes for all of us and then just leave the rest... :bag

This is so the way we operate too! Sometimes we even pull the dry laundry out of the dryer, do another load and then pile the first load back in. Folding and putting clothes away is a rare event around here. But we're both ok with that.

To the OP, sorry your DH isn't doing his fair share!

[sste]

This laundry laziness is a common DH affliction. I have caught my DH putting perfectly clean clothes in the hamper because it is easier (FOR HIM THAT IS!!) than folding and putting them away.

I agree that hiding his clothes is a reasonable response. :) Or I like to put whatever I want my DH to put away on his pillow . . . no way to avoid that if he wants to get into bed.

[KrisM]

Dude, my laundry sits in the dryer until it is time for the next load to go in! I will pick through and grab clean clothes for all of us and then just leave the rest... :bag

I do that too.

Maybe what's bugging me is that instead of helping by taking all 6 shirts up, is that he didn't. Laundry falls to me, so if I leave it, I don't care. But, for him to specifically NOT help me out by carrying the other 5 shirts up really bugged me.

[boolady]

But, for him to specifically NOT help me out by carrying the other 5 shirts up really bugged me.

I get that. DH will somehow look at three things sitting on the steps to go upstairs and magically carry only the item that's his. I particularly love that things that belong to DD somehow default to being my responsibility. You know, because since I carried her for 40 weeks, I have to carry all of her cr*p until she graduates from college.

[arivecchi]

I like to do small experiments with DH to see just how lazy he is about house chores. For example, I will leave our huge hamper basket right smack in front of the stairs so he HAS to see it on his way down and hopefully take it down to the basement. No such luck. He walks around it. Seriously dude? :banghead:

[WolfpackMom]

I like to do small experiments with DH to see just how lazy he is about house chores. For example, I will leave our huge hamper basket right smack in front of the stairs so he HAS to see it on his way down and hopefully take it down to the basement. No such luck. He walks around it. Seriously dude? :banghead:

DH always leaves his dirty clothes on the floor. My mom suggested I do what she did with my dad when they were first married, she kept moving the hamper closer and closer to where his clothes were next to the bed until eventually it was right next to it and he couldnt get in bed. Took about 10 years for him to get it.
My DH is so lazy about dirty clothes that when they aren't behind the bath room door, under or on the bed, or all over the floor, they are on top of the hamper. Because just simply lifting the lid and putting them inside would be way too much. I am lucky though DH is pretty good at helping with washing laundry once we have let 3 weeks worth pile up :bag and he has nothing left to wear...but getting said laundry put away or getting any help with DS' laundry is push and shove.

[KrisM]

I get that. DH will somehow look at three things sitting on the steps to go upstairs and magically carry only the item that's his. I particularly love that things that belong to DD somehow default to being my responsibility. You know, because since I carried her for 40 weeks, I have to carry all of her cr*p until she graduates from college.


I like to do small experiments with DH to see just how lazy he is about house chores. For example, I will leave our huge hamper basket right smack in front of the stairs so he HAS to see it on his way down and hopefully take it down to the basement. No such luck. He walks around it. Seriously dude? :banghead:

Yes to both of these as well!

We go on vacation - I pack and pack and pack and he packs his clothes.

Dinnertime - I get food for everyone and he gets his own.

Maybe it's not laziness. Maybe it's just his lack of being part of the family.

[arivecchi]

I think it must be a lazy male gene.

I have been so tempted to just put any clothes I find on the floor in the garbage. I bet he would clean up his act quickly that way.

And yes, the best he will do is put stuff on top of the hamper lid as the PP mentioned. What the heck?

I also love how he constantly leaves dishes/glasses all over the place as if we had a clean-up fairy that picks stuff up after him.

CLEAN UP AFTER YOURSELF! YOU ARE ALMOST 40! :6:

This BP is cathartic! Thanks Kris! :)

[boolady]

Maybe it's not laziness. Maybe it's just his lack of being part of the family.

You know, when I tell DH that his seemingly complete sense of self-involvement would lead one to believe that he doesn't function like a full partner/family member, he acts like I'm crazy and tells me that it doesn't mean that at all. It actually hurts his feelings, so I think he doesn't see it, or at least doesn't mean it that way.

I have my own theories about DH's sense of self-involvement, which may not be relevant to everyone else's DHs, but I think in his case, it comes from seeing his father be essentially an independent contractor rather than a fully-involved family member. That's why I do see it as a lack of being a part of the family, like he thinks or subconsciously believes he's free to participate when he feels like it and sit back and do his own thing when he doesn't. He's a much diluted version of his father, though.

What makes me suspicious that at times it's just sheer laziness is the fact that when I'm not around, stuff gets done. DH is home one day per week alone with DD, and somehow, on that day, she gets breakfast and lunch, he is able to help her choose an outfit and brush her hair, he is able to remember that she needs snacks and help in the bathroom sometimes, and the like. I honestly don't know what I think anymore. He's not a bad guy at all, just frustrating at times. And he does like to clean (like vaccuum and dust), so I have to give credit where it's due.

[KrisM]

You know, when I tell DH that his seemingly complete sense of self-involvement would lead one to believe that he doesn't function like a full partner/family member, he acts like I'm crazy and tells me that it doesn't mean that at all. It actually hurts his feelings, so I think he doesn't see it, or at least doesn't mean it that way.

I have my own theories about DH's sense of self-involvement, which may not be relevant to everyone else's DHs, but I think in his case, it comes from seeing his father be essentially an independent contractor rather than a fully-involved family member. That's why I do see it as a lack of being a part of the family, like he thinks or subconsciously believes he's free to participate when he feels like it and sit back and do his own thing when he doesn't. He's a much diluted version of his father, though.

What makes me suspicious that at times it's just sheer laziness is the fact that when I'm not around, stuff gets done. DH is home one day per week alone with DD, and somehow, on that day, she gets breakfast and lunch, he is able to help her choose an outfit and brush her hair, he is able to remember that she needs snacks and help in the bathroom sometimes, and the like. I honestly don't know what I think anymore. He's not a bad guy at all, just frustrating at times. And he does like to clean (like vaccuum and dust), so I have to give credit where it's due.

Interesting post. It is very familar sounding. I recently gave DH a hard time when he really insisted that I come to a Blues festival with him and the kids. I wasn't interested and thought he could just take them. He thought it should be a family thing, so I did go. But, I pointed out that when the thing I want to do as a family doesn't interest him, he doesn't go.

And, I went away for a weekend in March and he and the kids managed fine. It's like he loses a piece of his brain when I'm around and makes me make all the decisions, big and small, and do everything regarding the kids and house.

[boolady]

It's like he loses a piece of his brain when I'm around and makes me make all the decisions, big and small, and do everything regarding the kids and house.

This is exactly how I feel. I tell him that when we're all together, everything just defaults to me for no apparent reason. He says it doesn't, I say it does, he says it doesn't, blah blah blah. Argh.

[DebbieJ]

I like to do small experiments with DH to see just how lazy he is about house chores. For example, I will leave our huge hamper basket right smack in front of the stairs so he HAS to see it on his way down and hopefully take it down to the basement. No such luck. He walks around it. Seriously dude? :banghead:

:yeahthat:

My DH is blind to laundry baskets, I swear.

[niccig]

:yeahthat:

My DH is blind to laundry baskets, I swear.

I put the laundry basket on the couch, right where DH sits to watch TV. He'll fold, but he won't put it away, so only half gets done.

DH used to do the laundry, and I would have no underwear left, he would tell me to buy more like he has. He has enough underpants for 3 weeks. I told him to stop being lay and put the washing machine on.

[PMJ]

I hear you sister! My fantastic life mate is apparently allergic to opening his drawers. I put all the clean folded laundry on his side of the bed. He ignores it until he wants to go to sleep then puts it all on the floor right next to the bed. Seriously, DH? You are unbelievable. Our four year old can put her laundry away.


HAHA, Mine does the same thing. What is wrong w / them?! And then he gets upset when I actually "tell" him to do it - but I say, "Well, you never do it on your own, so you have to be reminded!"

[momof2girls]

I hear you sister! My fantastic life mate is apparently allergic to opening his drawers. I put all the clean folded laundry on his side of the bed. He ignores it until he wants to go to sleep then puts it all on the floor right next to the bed. Seriously, DH? You are unbelievable. Our four year old can put her laundry away.

:yeahthat: that is my husband! plus i awake to dirty socks in front of the couch every morning....my morning is not complete unless I am putting hus dirty socks into the hamper.

[jent]

I think it must be a lazy male gene.


I agree. I don't know what it is about DH's and laundry, but it seems to be universal.

My solutions have been to 1) just fold DD's and my stuff, and leave DH's stuff in a basket. It's up to him to live straight from the basket vs putting it away himself (he usually chooses the basket). And 2) ignore the pile of half-dirty clothes on his side of the bed. If he wants them washed, he can get them into the laundry himself. And since he has the side of the bed by the window, I can't see them from my side, so I just pretend they aren't there.

Though, I have to give my DH his due-- after years of nagging/complaining about his laundry skills, he has started doing laundry more often and even help folding it. It's the least he can do as he works fewer hours than I do, but still, I have to say I'm impressed. Except when he puts my brand-new sweaters in the dryer.

[MamaMolly]

It's like he loses a piece of his brain when I'm around and makes me make all the decisions, big and small, and do everything regarding the kids and house.

I once asked DH if he put the wedding ring on his finger and his head up his a$$. It was over pork chops. The man who made dinner for his family since middle school asked me how to tell when the porkchops were done. Duh.

And when DH put his clothes in the middle of the bathroom floor *next to* the hamper I moved the hamper to the middle of the bathroom floor. So the next morning when he asked me why the hamper was in the middle of the bathroom floor I told him it was because it was where he left his dirty laundry so I was helping him get them into the hamper.

One time I called him into the bathroom in a panic because the 'toilet was broken'. He came running and asked me what was wrong and I pointed to it and said that the little thingy that automatically makes the seat go down was broken!!!!! He got the point.

[jgenie]

We go on vacation - I pack and pack and pack and he packs his clothes.

Dinnertime - I get food for everyone and he gets his own.


This is the same at our house. It's actually easier when it's just DC & I - I have to do everything but I don't have anyone questioning why or how I do it.

[sarahsthreads]

I get that. DH will somehow look at three things sitting on the steps to go upstairs and magically carry only the item that's his. I particularly love that things that belong to DD somehow default to being my responsibility. You know, because since I carried her for 40 weeks, I have to carry all of her cr*p until she graduates from college.

Yeah, why is that??

I wouldn't call my DH lazy, but just like he has selective hearing, I'm also convinced he has selective eyesight. The laundry could be piled to the ceiling, but he'd never think to do it unless he'd somehow run out of clean underwear. My favorite is when he pulls his last pair out of the drawer and says "we should do the laundry today" and then heads off to work. Um, OK, *we'll* get right on that...

Also, I'm apparently the only person who walks upright on two legs in this house who sees an object on the floor and picks it up simply because it doesn't belong there, not because someone else asked me to. I sort of expect that I'll have to point out to the kids that there are toys/papers/shoes/whatever all over the floor that need picking up, but DH? You're 35 years old, can you not bend over to pick stuff up instead of just stepping on or over it? (Maybe it's the extra 11" and 11 months he has on me - maybe he can't actually see all the way to the floor anymore??)

Sarah :)

[sariana]

I think it must be a lazy male gene.

I don't think so. In our household, it is just the opposite. If DH were to return from deployment tomorrow, he would have to sleep on the couch because his side of the bed is covered with (clean) clothes. I am pretty good about putting away DC's clothes, but my own? All over the room, or the back of the couch, or, yes, in the dryer.

I'm worse about almost every other household chore. I absolutely hate to clean and put everything off until the last possible moment--sometimes months.

When DH is home, he constantly is cleaning something or complaining that something hasn't been cleaned up. He unpacks immediately after trips. Me? The suitcase from my trip to see him last month? Still in the middle of the floor, not even empty yet.

And our den looks like a tornado hit and left every single piece of paper in the world on some surface--top of desks, floor, file cabinet, everywhere.

[niccig]

I'll add mine to the list.

DH needed help serving pie. He wasn't sure how to get it out of the pie plate without messing it up. SERIOUSLY..it's pie that WE are eating, we're not in a restaurant. It doesn't matter how it looks.

Stuffing favour bags for the party is too much. I just walked away and left him with his part of the favours.

I'm supposed to stop what I am doing of party prep, so I can go clean off the dining room table, so you can wrap DS's presents. YOU can clean off the table, yes it is my work things, but just stack them in a pile at the end of the table. No, I don't mind. NO I WILL NOT COME AND DO IT.

Seriously....how inept how you?!?!

[Puddy73]

I wouldn't call my DH lazy, but just like he has selective hearing, I'm also convinced he has selective eyesight. The laundry could be piled to the ceiling, but he'd never think to do it unless he'd somehow run out of clean underwear. My favorite is when he pulls his last pair out of the drawer and says "we should do the laundry today" and then heads off to work. Um, OK, *we'll* get right on that...



This is my DH exactly! Perhaps we have some sort of special female gene inherited from our prehistoric gathering duties that allows us to spot items to be picked up. The "we should" comments are also a personal pet peeve of mine. If you want me to do something, please ask me instead of making a passive-aggressive whiny comment.