So this is still bothering me

[niccig]

I drop DS off at summer camp and was talking with 2 other mothers. Our 3 boys do a lot together, so we're often together. Sometimes we do have individual play dates, but mostly it's all three of us. We all stayed back to see something that was happening at camp and we were the last 3 in the parking lot. As we're about to go, I see this weird look between the 2 mums. I didn't say anything, and then as we leave I'm following them out of the parking lot and they both turn and go a different way then they normal would. Then it hits me, they're both in workout clothes, which they normally don't wear to drop off, and that plus the weird look and both going a different way than normal, they're probably going to yoga or pilates or something together.

I don't care that they're doing an activity that they didn't invite me to. But I do care about the awkward look as it made me feel that something was up. Just tell me "Nice chatting, we've got to go as doing yoga together" What's so hard about doing that?!

[PMJ]

Hmmm, that is strange.

why wouldn't they invite you? What is the big deal? And def, why would they not just tell you, unless they are hiding something.

Maybe they are planning something for you... is your bday coming up?!

[Pennylane]

It would bother me too, mostly because it sounds like they were being sneaky about it. They should have just said "Me and (blank) are going to the gym, want to join us?".

Sorry it bugged you!

Ann

[niccig]

I don't think they're doing anythng for me. I think that they organised to go to the gym/yoga/whatever together, and didn't think about inviting me. Which isn't a big deal at all, they don't have to ask me too. It's not like we have to do everything together all the time. But it got awkward when I was there and maybe they feel like they should have asked me too.

They don't have to ask, I don't expect to do it all together, but you dont' have to act akward so then I think something sneaky is up you know. Just be upfront. "see ya, we're heading to yoga." would have been fine rather than a awkward look and goodbye to me.

Oh well...I'll just ignore and go on with my day,

[poohbear]

I don't think they're doing anythng for me. I think that they organised to go to the gym/yoga/whatever together, and didn't think about inviting me. Which isn't a big deal at all, they don't have to ask me too. It's not like we have to do everything together all the time. But it got awkward when I was there and maybe they feel like they should have asked me too.

They don't have to ask, I don't expect to do it all together, but you dont' have to act akward so then I think something sneaky is up you know. Just be upfront. "see ya, we're heading to yoga." would have been fine rather than a awkward look and goodbye to me.

Oh well...I'll just ignore and go on with my day,

I think you're right. People can just be crappy sometimes. It's a bummer. I wrote in another thread that sadly, life doesn't really change that much from 7th grade when you really break it down.
My best advice: don't ever do the same thing to someone else ;)

[cath_b]

Could it be that they made plans a little late and in haste that they totally forget to ask you? Because I do this sometimes when I'm on the phone with 1 mum friend, I make plans with her and when all is said and done I remember the other mum and it's too late to call because of time constraints. The only difference is I actually apologize to the 2nd mum and honestly say that I did not mean to "exclude" her. But I will feel really weird about it (it will bug me the entire day) so as not to make things weirder, I apologize instead of having a "strange look" on my face as if I'm hiding something. Maybe they just didn't know how to tell you?

[wencit]

:hug:

I'm sorry it's still bugging you. It's always terrible to feel excluded. :(

However, maybe they thought it would have been even MORE awkward to say, "Well, see ya, Nicci! Barbie and I are going to go to yoga class together! Bye!" Almost as if they were rubbing your face in it. Perhaps they were hoping you wouldn't notice what was going on. Or maybe they thought you'd be really, really hurt that they were doing this activity together without you, and so they didn't want to mention it in order to spare your feelings. My guess is that the awkward look was more because they didn't know what the "right" thing to do was in that situation, rather than having any sort of malice to it. At least, one can hope.

Just a thought. I'm sorry you felt so bad about it.

[sste]

I agree they completely made not a big deal situation into a larger deal with these looks between them. It reminded me of that socially awkward period in late middle school/high school. But, at this point two grown women should be able to say, "See you later, we are off to yoga" or even better "We just signed up for yoga, let us know if you are ever interested, it is a pretty good class."

I am way too sensitive about things like this and I would be upset too. It sounds to me like they were using a "workout buddy" model to plan to go to class together . . . sometimes if you invite 3 or more but not an entire group that is much worse than just grabbing an individual friend in terms of hurt feelings. Of course you know all this. It is just the glances between them! Its a bit conceited to assume that your not attending yoga with them is a significant event requiring meaningful glances.

[liz]

But, at this point two grown women should be able to say, "See you later, we are off to yoga" or even better "We just signed up for yoga, let us know if you are ever interested, it is a pretty good class."


:yeahthat:. Sorry you were put in that position.