Is this tacky regarding wedding registries?

[wencit]

I'm not going to be able to attend my dear friend's wedding later this year, so I've decided to get her something nice from her registry, in the $200-$300 range. There's a pots & pans set from her registry at Macy's that is currently on sale for $300, but if you include tax + shipping, it becomes almost $350 for me, which is out of my price range. However, I found the same set at Amazon for $250 with free shipping. Do you think it would be tacky of me to go to Macy's and ask them to remove the item from her registry, then purchase the set from Amazon and ship it directly to her home? My friend is most likely going to know it's from Amazon because it will have the packing slip and possibly come with Amazon packaging.

So tell me, do you think it's tacky to purchase a registry item from someplace other than the store it's registered at, just to save some money?

[♥ms.pacman♥]

i don't know if it's "tacky", but i wouldn't do it...i 'd probably just find something that is $250 or less on her registry and get that. when it comes to wedding gifts, i just decide how much i want to spend and just get something that totals to that amount on the registry, or i give a check.

the other thing is,i don't know if you can really ask Macy's to take something off her registry that u bought somewhere else...i'm sure some of the salesppl would say they're not allowed to do that. i mean, how would they know you were telling the truth and you had already bought the correct item? (i can imagine bride getting upset because store took a registry item off bc someone asked, but then either got a slightly different item or never got it). plus, Macy's would be losing $$$ (the whole point of their registry is that so guests buy their gifts from Macy's).

[luckytwenty]

I personally think it's savvy and received a few of my china pieces from a place other than where I'd registered, and didn't mind at all. Why would a friend want you to spend more money than necessary to get her a gift she specifically wanted?

[luckytwenty]

Oh, but I don't know that Macy's would cooperate. I would just send the gift from Amazon and maybe note on the gift receipt, "I saw this on your Macy's registry."

[ohiomom1121]

I recently had a baby sprinkle that I registered for. A few people found things elsewhere and just let me know so I could remove them from the registry. I don't think it's a big deal at all-I'd rather someone got a deal! And I doubt Macy's would do that anyways...I remember DH's grandma didn't like something I registered for on my wedding registry and she wanted to upgrade me but they wouldn't take the original off the registry.

[WatchingThemGrow]

I would be so happy if you did that for me. Giving an extra $100 to Macy's seems crazy! Since she's a dear friend, just ask if she'd be okay with it. And grab them quickly before the Amazon price changes.

[almostmom]

I would order the cheaper set and send it. If she gets another set from Macy's she can return it and get something else. I know when we registered at Crate and Barrel we could return gifts for cash!

[soontobe]

I would do it as long as you know that she is able to return things with no problem to Macy's just in case someone else buys the one from her registry. you don't want her to be stuck with 2....

[TwinFoxes]

I don't think it's tacky. Will she have a problem returning it though if she ends up with two, or changes her mind or whatever? That would be my concern.

As for Macys, I would just fib and tell them "oops I bought a gift off my friends registry the other day and forgot to tell the salesperson. Can you just take it off now?"

[mom2beofboy/girltwins]

I think it's fine to do this, but I wouldn't count on Macy's taking the item off the registry for you. I did this for a baby shower - figured I could get her more stuff if I was able to get the same things for less, but when I talked to Target and told them I had "forgot" to remove it off the registry they said they had "no way" to access it unless you were purchasing something. I think they said something about showing them the reciept, but of course I didn't have a Target one....

[Binkandabee]

I'd do it and just make sure you give her everything she needs to return your item to Amazon if she gets a duplicate. I am almost positive Macy's won't remove an item without it being purchased at Macy's...that's what registries are for in the minds of the store!

You could also just tell her and she can remove the item herself.

[kijip]

I do this as needed. I don't think it is tacky. Your friend wants that item, not for you to be overcharged. I just call BRU or Macy's or wherever and let them know that I bought that item "but for some reason it didn't show up as fulfilled" They always take care of it for me in 2 seconds.

[nov04]

I work at a store that does registries, we take things off frequently for guests who buy them elsewhere. It's in the best interest of the store to keep their bride happy and if that means a few guests buy elsewhere, that's fine.

[wellyes]

I think you should definitely go for it. Save the $100 and ask Macy's to adjust the registry. If they decline, she'll be able to return the registry item. I don't think it's tacky, personally. You're giving her exactly what she's asked for. Tacky would be getting a lower-end model but telling Macy's you'd gotten her the set she'd requested.

[vonfirmath]

I've done it before -- ordered an item somewhere cheaper than the place it was on the registry.

[DietCokeLover]

I don't see any problem with that at all. If someone else purchases the same thing, she can always return it to Macy's and have a credit in order to purchase things she did not receive.

[Octobermommy]

I do this as needed. I don't think it is tacky. Your friend wants that item, not for you to be overcharged. I just call BRU or Macy's or wherever and let them know that I bought that item "but for some reason it didn't show up as fulfilled" They always take care of it for me in 2 seconds.

:yeahthat:

[alien_host]

I don't see any problem with that at all. If someone else purchases the same thing, she can always return it to Macy's and have a credit in order to purchase things she did not receive.

:yeahthat:

[MamaKath]

I don't think it is tacky. Personally in this economy I think it is probably even more acceptable than in the past it might have been. Everyone is finding they need to look for deals. Most places are really good about removing stuff, since it often doesn't automatically come off anyway.

[bostonsmama]

Do it! You are a loving and generous friend to get her EXACTLY what she wants--when I registered, it wasn't b/c I wanted to help out Macy's, I just wanted a store that sold both online and b&m. I can't tell you how many people saw what was on our registry and went out and got something (like a pots/pan set from the same store in which we registered) that was not at all what we wanted (and $150 cheaper--but of course it's what they could afford). Anyways...go for it!! :)

[katydid1971]

Its been 11 years since I got married but I registered for the same items at a different places because DH's and my families are from different areas. When I got tow of something, like pans, I would return the Macy's one to Macy's and use the credit to buy things that didn't get purchased in the first place (like some of the more expensive china pieces). If you get her the pots from Amazon she can always return the pots from Macy's and use the credit for something else.

[Globetrotter]

I would be happy if my friend got a deal, but that's me :rotflmao:

I am always more impressed by people who don't pay retail, so this would never offend me. Just tell her so she can remove it from her registry. I probably wouldn't do this for an aquaintance, but for a good friend, sure!

[BabyH]

I would be so happy if you did that for me. Giving an extra $100 to Macy's seems crazy! Since she's a dear friend, just ask if she'd be okay with it. And grab them quickly before the Amazon price changes.

:yeahthat:

[ewpmsw]

Oh, but I don't know that Macy's would cooperate. I would just send the gift from Amazon and maybe note on the gift receipt, "I saw this on your Macy's registry."

:yeahthat:

[HonoluluMom]

Personally, I would do it only if you (not the bride, who probably has a million things she needs to do) can get the item off of the Macy's registry.

[AnnieW625]

I would just order from Amazon and not worry about the Macy's thing. Worst case scenario if she gets two she can return them to Macys and then get $350 in store credit as long as the giver gave them a gift receipt. I personally don't trust Macys as far as I can throw them in the registry department and I have been married for 7 years. I now shop at other places for weddings over Macys. Remember a registry is just a suggestion:). I also like the suggestion of adding "saw this on your Macy's registry" to the gift tag line on the receipt for Amazon.

[DebbieJ]

I've done this plenty of times. The last time was from Target and I just called them and they marked it as purchased.

[poppy]

I did this exact thing for a good friend, except it was BRU. I bought from Amazon for the free shipping and she took it off her BRU registry herself.
She was happy to get the gift and it was fine. You can mention it to your friend so she can go online and take it off or mark it as purchased. It was not a big deal at all.

[MamaSnoo]

We have been married for a few years now, but I did register at Macy's. Even back then, they had a nice online site for the bridal registry where you could update things (you did not remove as I recall, but change the quantity received) if you received something from another store or if someone forgot to tell them it was for the registry. This happened all the time with my wedding, and it was no big deal. I was also able to return duplicates when needed.

It was really not a big deal. I would think that if she is close friend, she would be pleased to get a nicer gift, and happy that you got a deal. I would go for it!

For people we don't know as well, I usually stick to the registry.

[Melaine]

I would be so happy if you did that for me. Giving an extra $100 to Macy's seems crazy! Since she's a dear friend, just ask if she'd be okay with it. And grab them quickly before the Amazon price changes.

:yeahthat: And that sounds like a REALLY nice gift. No shame in doing this, IMO!

[creativelightbulb]

this is not tacky IMO...smart even!

I'd order from Amazon...

you CAN just call Macy's or go to the store and let them know that you/or blame it on your mother (older folks make good scape goats) purchased the item at another Macy's or ordered online and forgot to have it removed...if they ask for proof say you simply don't have it... :shrug:

if that doesn't work I wouldn't worry anymore about it

[wencit]

Thanks, everyone! I just wanted to make sure I wasn't committing some kind of social faux pas. :)

OK, another twist just came up that I need your help with. Now through August 15th, if you purchase at Macy's, you get 2 extra pans for free, but no such deal going on at Amazon. If I buy the set at Amazon now and have Macy's mark it as purchased, my friend, who might be keeping an eye on the registry, may wonder if I kept the extra 2 pans for myself, KWIM? On the other hand, if I wait until the Macy's sale is over to ask them to mark it as purchased, someone else could buy the same set in the meantime. And if that's the case, I don't want to deal with shipping this gigantic pots & pans set back to Amazon! Or I could wait until the Macy's sale is over to purchase from Amazon, but then I run the risk of the price going up, as a PP mentioned.

Argh! If you can't tell, I have a tendency to overthink things! :banghead:

[TwinFoxes]

Ok, wow, I thought I was an over-thinker! I would still buy the pots at Amazon. I can't imagine she'd wonder "hey, where are my two extra pots...my dear friend who just spent $350 is actually a tight wad!" I think I'd probably expect my friend to keep the two extra pans after spending $350 on me. She probably doesn't even know about the promotion.

You are a nice friend.

[wencit]

Ok, wow, I thought I was an over-thinker!:bag I know! I'm terrible about it. My DH is a saint for putting up with me all these years.

You're right, I'm just going to buy the set from Amazon and not give it another thought. Thanks again for everyone's help!

[Sweetum]

Well, she would know that you didn't get them since you bought the gift from Amazon and not Macy's. But eventually, and that's when she would find out that she wasn't getting the pans in the promotion! So, you're still okay, IMO.

[Katigre]

I used to work in bridal registry for Macy's and it was no issue at all to mark something on a registry as 'bought' even if it was not from Macy's store. Just call and ask for the bridal registry desk and include the registry number when you tell them.

I would absolutely order it from amazon.com instead :).