Playdate help

[bubbaray]

We're having our first "real" playdate today. You'd think I'd be a bit more organized, but, well, I'm not (have been sick, that's my excuse).

It will be my 2 girls (6, going into G1 and 3.5) and 2 siblings (girl 6, going into G1 and boy 4). The children all know each other from afterschool and daycare. Their mom is a home ec teacher and has had us over for a number of playdates. Last time, the girls sewed Build-A-Bears! It was too hard for her DD after a few stitches. My DD was OK with the craft, didn't need help. But, I'm not creative and can't figure out a sewing craft. Plus, I need something that the 2 younger siblings can do, hopefully without too much help.

I have packs of foam crafts from Michaels. I was thinking doorknob hangers. I have stickers to do names, etc. I also have foam photo frames.

Also, what about snacks? This mom always has amazing snacks for playdates and parties. Me, not so much. I was thinking I could just grab a fruit tray and/or a veggie tray, maybe cheese & crackers (both my girls have food allergies, as does her daughter -- thankfully, her DD's is one of my girls' FAs, so we're a-OK to handle that). They will likely come over around 2pm or so.

The weather is kinda sketchy right now (forecast is for sun, but it rained overnight). We have a Rainbow play set outside. No more pool due to the racoon party the other night, but I don't think it would be warm enough for the pool anyway.

Thoughts? Is the foam craft OK? What should I serve the mom? Tea? Coffee?? I'm thinking tequila shooters are probably not appropriate for a playdate....

TIA

[KrisM]

I don't worry much when kids come to play. I've never had a specific activity for them to do - they just enjoy playing together with someone else's toys. But, if you feel like you need to do something, I think the doorknob craft sounds absolutely fine.

For food, again, I just wing it. I generally serve whatever snacks I have on hand for my kids and just serve the others the same. But, I don't have moms coming as well - just kids. Kids are easier, IMO. I think your choices of food are fine as well.

I wouldn't try to duplicate what the other mom does for playdates. Do whatever works for you. If you like to bake, you could bake cookies together. If you like sports, you could get them outside for a quick game, etc. The kids will just have fun together anyway.

[Seitvonzu]

i think you are maybe overthinking? i'd just do what you think you can handle. i'd leave if really open (i know sometimes this is hard)-- let the kids start out with free play and if they seem like they need direction, pull out the doorknob or photo frame crafts. i like the frames since it's summertime and they could use it for vacation photos! :)

i'd just do whatever snack you'd give your kid. i wouldn't go buy something special (unless i was at the grocery store anyway and needed the "excuse" for a treat ;)). i do tend to bake something for playdates, but ours are always in the morning (10-12) and involve hungry toddlers. i also sometimes have a structured thing, but usually not (it's usually 5 toddlers + moms and gets crowded)....if we have one friend over, i might set up something "special" like painting or special toys. sometimes i have "theme" playdates.

i'm saying that stuff not because i think you should do it AT ALL. i think i'd have more playdates if i wasn't so weird about "food/activities/cleaning every little thing." i think it's perfectly fine not to set your standard the same as the other mother. the kids will still have fun. she's probably doing those activities/snacks more for herself than the kids (i know i do it for me-- i love to "entertain" and it seems like the only excuse i get is playdates)

most importantly- have fun ! :) your kids will love it :)

[Ceepa]

I don't worry much when kids come to play. I've never had a specific activity for them to do - they just enjoy playing together with someone else's toys. But, if you feel like you need to do something, I think the doorknob craft sounds absolutely fine.

For food, again, I just wing it. I generally serve whatever snacks I have on hand for my kids and just serve the others the same. But, I don't have moms coming as well - just kids. Kids are easier, IMO. I think your choices of food are fine as well.

I wouldn't try to duplicate what the other mom does for playdates. Do whatever works for you. If you like to bake, you could bake cookies together. If you like sports, you could get them outside for a quick game, etc. The kids will just have fun together anyway.

I agree. Kids like playing with other kids' toys. As long as you set aside toys maybe you don't want the younger kids to get into (more delicate ones or messy ones) and set aside toys neither of your DDs would be keen on sharing, then you're all set.

As far as food, I just make sure we're FA-safe for everyone and have a variety of healthy finger-food snacks to offer.

[gatorsmom]

I think what you have planned would impress the heck out of me. Go with the fruit and cheese and crackers or just pretzals if you dont' want to deal with greasy foods (cheese and crackers can get all over furniture. Pretzals not so much).

Also, Melissa, keep in mind that when she hosted your family, she might have felt like she needs to go above and beyond since she's a teacher.

Have fun and relax. What you have planned sounds just perfect. :)

[SnuggleBuggles]

Don't forget the main word in your event- PLAY. It's a playdate. In my universe that means the kids come over to play! No activity is necessary! The kids will be excited to play with new toys and your dds will be excited to show them off. Easy peasy. I agree with the snack suggestions- crackers, fruit, cheese. Cut up some grapes or get some blueberries. Relax! Make it easy on yourself...and help break any cycle of one upsmanship. :)

Beth

[dcmom2b3]

M -- what you have planned makes my playdates look like a rugby scrum by comparison.

Relax! Everything will be great!

[pb&j]

Wow, I would never expect organized crafts on a playdate!!

My expectation for playdates is play w/other kid's toys and eat crackers.

[WatchingThemGrow]

Have a great time, Melissa! I'm sure it will be fun for everyone. I wouldn't worry about planning anything to do, but tell your older DD that you have a doorknob craft project if they start to get bored. Bring out those crazyforts!

[bubbaray]

Thanks ladies. Well, she cancelled. Left a VM while we were at church. I returned her call when we got in around lunch. They might come later this afternoon, but not likely. She wants to do one during the week. Yeah, well, I work. So, weekdays don't work. My girls are very upset.

This is why I just don't bother.

Must go. Little people are fighting.

[Seitvonzu]

ohmygosh :( what a bummer! did she give a reason? i feel just terrible for your girls-- and i would personally be a little annoyed (playdates can be alot of work for ME because i have high standards for cleaning when i have guests...particularly if they've never been over before)

:(

i think she failed. bigtime!

[ett]

Oh, that's a bummer! I can't believe she canceled so late. I hope she had a really good reason because it is not cool to cancel the day of.

[SnuggleBuggles]

That sucks. I'm sorry.

Beth

[bubbaray]

I hope she had a really good reason because it is not cool to cancel the day of.


Not really. They were going to go to a toy store before coming here (our house is on the way home from that store). They want to go to the store later now.

I think she didn't want to do a weekend at all. *I* can't do weekdays. She kept asking me today if I could take a day off?! Um, no. Not to host a stupid playdate.

[SnuggleBuggles]

And you know, she might have good snacks and fun crafts but unless she has a darned good last minute excuse (child throwing up...), her etiquette bites. :(

[SnuggleBuggles]

Not really. They were going to go to a toy store before coming here (our house is on the way home from that store). They want to go to the store later now.

I think she didn't want to do a weekend at all. *I* can't do weekdays. She kept asking me today if I could take a day off?! Um, no. Not to host a stupid playdate.

That is about the dumbest thing I have ever heard...actually both of them are stupid. Asking you to take a day off work?? Bailing to go to the toystore? If a playdate is on my calendar I make that the priority.

Beth

[bubbaray]

That is about the dumbest thing I have ever heard...actually both of them are stupid. Asking you to take a day off work?? Bailing to go to the toystore? If a playdate is on my calendar I make that the priority.




I'm really sad for my girls. I emailed this mom and another mom last week (over a week ago). The original plan was to meet to a local waterpark (walking distance for the 2 other moms, close drive for me). 3rd mom's email bounced back saying she was on vacation. I couldn't find her cell number, but once I did find it, it was her work cell. DD#1 thinks that family is in DL. 2nd mom called me Friday b/c it was raining and the weather looked sketchy for today (the waterpark only comes on at certain temperatures). So, we arranged for her to come by after the toy store thing she was doing with her kids.

I dunno, my kids have lots of friends at school and daycare. But we just never have other kids over. Our weekends are crazy insane during the school year with activities (ballet, swimming, skiing) and in the summer we are away or on daytrips a fair bit in the summer. That leaves weekdays. I rarely get home before 6pm on days I go into the office. The girls are supposed to be in bed or headed that way by 7:30pm. Besides, if we have anyone over at night (guests or relatives), it really throws their bedtime routine off.

Where is the irked smilie??

ETA: The toystore thing didn't come up until Friday. Maybe she thought we should cancel altogether? When I em'd initially, Sunday was entirely clear for her. We waited a couple of days hoping to hear from mom #3.

[ett]

That is about the dumbest thing I have ever heard...actually both of them are stupid. Asking you to take a day off work?? Bailing to go to the toystore? If a playdate is on my calendar I make that the priority.

Beth

:yeahthat: I'm so sad for your girls.

[gatorsmom]

And you know, she might have good snacks and fun crafts but unless she has a darned good last minute excuse (child throwing up...), her etiquette bites. :(


:yeahthat: I completely agree. I'm sad for your girls too. She 's a teacher so it's normal that she has fun activity ideas but she should also know how kids can get their feelings disappointed so easily. She should know better than to use pathetic excuses to not show up.

This is why I often don't want to bother either.

[Melbel]

And you know, she might have good snacks and fun crafts but unless she has a darned good last minute excuse (child throwing up...), her etiquette bites. :(


:yeahthat: I am po'd for you and disappointed for your girls. The last minute cancellation was absolutely not warranted. When I was working, it was very hard to arrange playdates because the SAHMs generally only wanted to do so during the week, after school.

[sste]

That sucks. Apparently, manners are not part of home economy!

FWIW my much younger child can get over most disappointments with a decadent enough ice cream treat. Maybe home-made sundaes today . . .

I have come to the conclusion that friendships/play dates/social life in general needs to be managed with a "diversification of risk" strategy. Mutual-fund style. In other words, a number of darts thrown out there and ultimately some will hit the target. Obviously, not easy when everyone is so busy but I think very helpful.

[maestramommy]

Wow, I've hosted and attended small playdates, and we don't do anything! The host provides the snack, and that's about it. I've had a standing playdate with a family with 4 kids for a few months now. This family has a ton of toys, and in the summer we have a pool, but even with our toys it's always enough to hold the kids. Our playdates generally run about 2 hours.

I'd say do a craft if you are really into those things, or your girls are, but otherwise it might be too much pressure, and these things are supposed to be fun and relaxed, even for the parents. You can offer your friend coffee or tea, that's what I usually do. My friend ALWAYS has coffee going, which is nice for me:D

ETA: just read your update. Man that really sucks. And I agree with Snuggle, that is a pretty lame excuse. I get that things happen, but that wasn't right. I'm sorry your girls were disappointed.