Some days, I wish I was my dog.

[Kestrel]

5:10 AM. Alarm clock goes off. Dog very reluctantly rolls over so I can get out of bed without stepping on him. As I close the bathroom door, he jumps up on the bed to snuggle with DH.

6:15 AM. I leave bathroom to go downstairs to eat. DH and dog are both snoring, cuddled up in similar poses.

6:25 AM. Sitting with cold cereal when dog wanders downstairs and "woofs" to be let out. He quickly pees, then comes and sits in front of his food dish until I serve his breakfast kibble.

6:40 AM. Put breakfast stuff away, grab packed lunch and head to the door. Dog, who is done with breakfast, goes back upstairs and jumps back on the bed as I'm headed out into the pouring rain to get to work.

Some days, I wish I was my dog.

[wendibird22]

Me too. Me too. My dog lives the good life. On my sofa. All.day.long. Or he sunbathes in my driveway only getting up to move to the grass when the pavement gets too hot.

[carolinamama]

I'd love to have my dog's life for a day or two.

[niccig]

Me too. Me too. My dog lives the good life. On my sofa. All.day.long. Or he sunbathes in my driveway only getting up to move to the grass when the pavement gets too hot.

This is our dog too. I normally get to bed after DH. Every night the dog is lying on my side snuggling with DH - she was his dog before DS and I - and she is very pampered. I love her too, but yes I would like to swap places sometimes.

[Dream]

Don't we all wish that:) Mine's not allowed in our bed though. And he's an early waker, needs breakfast at 6 am and sleeps the whole day and prepares and ask for dinner since 5pm but only gets it at 6pm and off he goes to sleep.

If I sleep in past 6am he has the nerve to bark the place down 'coz his breakfast is late.

[gatorsmom]

This is our dog too. I normally get to bed after DH. Every night the dog is lying on my side snuggling with DH

At least she's warming up your spot for you until you get to bed!

[Penny's Pappa]

From the Interwebs:

Excerpts from a Dog's Diary:
8:00 am - Dog food! My favorite thing!
9:30 am - A car ride! My favorite thing!
9:40 am - A walk in the park! My favorite thing!
10:30 am - Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!
12:00 pm - Lunch! My favorite thing!
1:00 pm - Played in the yard! My favorite thing!
3:00 pm - Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!
5:00 pm - Milk bones! My favorite thing!
7:00 pm - Got to play ball! My favorite thing!
8:00 pm - Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite thing!
11:00 pm - Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!

Excerpts from a Cat's Daily Diary:

Day 983 of my captivity.

My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength. The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet.

Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely made condescending comments about what a "good little hunter" I am.

Bastards.

There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of "allergies" I must learn what this means, and how to use it to my advantage.

Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow -- but at the top of the stairs.

I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches.
The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released -and seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously a moron. The bird's got to be an informant. I observe him communicate with the guards regularly. I am
certain that he reports my every move. My captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe. For now...

[wendibird22]

From the Interwebs:

Excerpts from a Dog's Diary:
8:00 am - Dog food! My favorite thing!
9:30 am - A car ride! My favorite thing!
9:40 am - A walk in the park! My favorite thing!
10:30 am - Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!
12:00 pm - Lunch! My favorite thing!
1:00 pm - Played in the yard! My favorite thing!
3:00 pm - Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!
5:00 pm - Milk bones! My favorite thing!
7:00 pm - Got to play ball! My favorite thing!
8:00 pm - Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite thing!
11:00 pm - Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!


:ROTFLMAO:

Proof that my dog lives the good life. This is his "spot." Day in and day out this is where I find him. Sometimes belly up.

http://farm5.static.flickr.com/4137/4879769172_f9c1594a3e.jpg

[BabyBearsMom]

From the Interwebs:

[U][B]Excerpts from a Cat's Daily Diary:

Day 983 of my captivity.

My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength. The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet.

Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely made condescending comments about what a "good little hunter" I am.

Bastards.

There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of "allergies" I must learn what this means, and how to use it to my advantage.

Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow -- but at the top of the stairs.

I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches.
The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released -and seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously a moron. The bird's got to be an informant. I observe him communicate with the guards regularly. I am
certain that he reports my every move. My captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe. For now...

Did you write this yourself or did you find it somewhere. Regardless :hysterical::hysterical::hysterical:

[Penny's Pappa]

Oh I wish I could lay claim to that masterpiece, but no. It's been on the Internet for some time now.