"TV-free" households, how'd you do it?

[bostonsmama]

Our cable pkg expires next month, so we're ditching it after 6 years. We plan to disassemble our entertainment center as well, only having a small TV w/ blu-ray player for the occasional Redbox rental for DH & I or a weekly football game via digital bunny ears. We've lived w/out cable before, and we barely watched any TV at all, but w/ DD on the way, we'd like to raise her w/ as little TV/video exposure as possible, at least until she turns 3. I read Ellen Currie-Wilson's The Big Turnoff and was so inspired. I already don't watch much TV (most days it doesn't come on), so I'm not worried about myself missing out, but I have a few questions:

1) How hard is it to raise a firstborn child w/out TV? What are your "saving graces" for showering, getting a moment alone, etc, that all the moms say DVDs are great for?
2) How neurotic do you get about it? I mean, there are screens EVERYWHERE--restaurants, malls, friends' houses--and often babysitters use TV as the universal pacifier, so it's hard to find one who won't want it there as an option, even my own mother, who thinks Sesame Street was the reason we were all "so smart." (eyeroll) Do you leave, ask the TV to be turned off, ask for a different activity, etc?
3) When you go places where there is going to be a video/movie/TV show as part of the entertainment (bday parties, playdates, church daycare, etc), what do you say/do? At what point are you making your child an outcast or looking like a "fringe" parent?

I have a SIL who raised her first w/out TV, but then #2 came along and it was a game-changer, so I know it's not possible for everyone/all situations, but I'm curious if anyone has words of wisdom/encouragment. Thanks!

[AnnieW625]

With one kid it's easy, you leave the tv off when they are up; with two kids it's more of a challenge. DD1 thinks that DD2 likes Olivia, Dora, Max & Ruby, & The Wiggles, just like she does.

1. TV is our saving grace in the AM as we have an early riser and we both work. I've been a littlelax being off work, but in the AM DD1 gets 1 half hour show while DH gets ready (I leave before that). She can watch PBS, Disney, or Nick Jr.; all three are commercial free. In the PM if she follows the rules and eats dinner she gets two shows (usually one before, and one after).

2. In restaurants it's usually just sports and that doesn't bother me at all. At daycare when it's rainy or on special babysitting night there is tv, all other times it's off, and the babies are usually kept in a different room. I do find it ironic though that our HMO Kaiser is big on no TV before 2 but they have tvs in their pediatric waiting rooms, and pharmacies.

3. Our church daycare and church don't have tvs or screens (one benefit to being Catholic' there is never extra money for that:)) in the church or the classrooms. Birthday parties have all been outside this far so that hasn't been an issue. Movie parties/sleepovers might start at 6-8 but that's apprpriate IMHO.

ETA: also imho I only think one tv per household is necessary; that's all we have and all I grew up with. Also wanted to add that with DD2 I have watched way less TV than I did when I was on maternity leave with DD1. I bought a recliner/glider for DD2's room and I feed her mostly in it. Right now as I type and will get ready for dinner DD1 is watching her show and I have DD2 in the Bumbo seat turned away from the TV and she'll be going into the kitchen with me in a minute.

[alirebco]

I think it's especially easy to raise your firstborn without tv until the age of 3. DS is 2.5 and doesn't yet watch tv. We watch tv when he goes to sleep though but it's never on during the day when he's awake and I'm a SAHM.

1) When DS was really little, he was in the bouncer when I showered or I would shower at night when DH was home. When he got a bit older, I would use the exersaucer and then around 10 months, I would bring him in the shower with me. He would sit on the floor with some toys and I would clean him too :) Oh and getting a moment alone, means utilizing naptime and also encouraging independent play as they get older. Holding a few "special" toys back and saving them for those moments would work. I would also wear DS on my back when prepping/cooking dinner from 10 months up to 2 years and he loved it. He would just watch and I would be able to do so much housework without him getting in the way and he never fussed about it. Now I try to prep as much during prep time or do crockpot or oven meals where I don't have to constantly stand over the stove.

2) We never really encountered tv at restaurants but I guess you can just try positioning them away from it? Unless you're going to a sports bar. As for babysitters, if you're paying them, just tell them no tv. I know some parents who use parental controls for the cartoon stations so their kids don't put it on themselves and I guess you could do it for the babysitter too. But really they should follow your wishes. At friend's houses, if we're over, we are normally not watching tv or at least kid tv. DS is never interested and would rather play with the other kid's toys since they're new to him.
3) We have never been to a party where tv/movie was the main entertainment. I think even at 3, a lot of people don't take their kids to a movie theater since it tends to be too loud for most children. And at a playdate (at least while kids are young), I expect kids to be playing, not watching tv since obviously they can do that on their own and not with a friend. I guess you can always decline if you feel your child is not ready for it.

I have found that it's easier that I thought to do no tv. We go see lots of friends or do other activities during the day and I can always put on music at home to break things up. Other kids DS's age who watch a lot of tv can't tell that he doesn't and I'm sure they wouldn't care. He's not a teenager yet :)

[maestramommy]

We are an "almost no TV" household. We've only had the bunny ears since we got married. Our kids watch vidoes. They don't even watch streaming video, partly because my computer is just not up to it:p

They only get to watch TV on days the sitter is here, so roughly twice a week. I figure they make up for it by watching up to 90 minutes some days. On some rare occasions of desperation I have let them watch a short video (less than 30 min) on a non-sitter day but I have made it clear it's an exception. They don't play computer games yet, and we don't have Wii or anything.

It has made for some really rough days, esp. when we first started doing it. But now they actually spend extended time playing or reading, so there is an upside to it. Making dinner is the hardest time of day, but I just suck it up, try to do some prep while they are napping, or just make really easy dinners. The most difficult part about it all is having to break up fights when I'm in the middle of stirring something.

BTW, raising the firstborn without a TV was a cinch. I just didnt' turn it on when she was awake. The game changer was when I was preggo with Arwyn and Dora was super clingy. I just needed a break, even if it was only 10 minutes. For a while it seemed like the kids were watching a ton of TV when Laurel was born. Then one day I took away the TV for a week from Dora as a consequence. That's when I noticed the difference in the kids' play. So I decided to bring it back in very limited amounts for specific situations. I decided it might be cruel to leave them with a sitter with no TV:p, which is why they get to watch when she comes.

[sste]

We are a previously no-tv household, now a very low-tv household. We did zero until DS was 2; then when he was about 2.5 we started doing one short video several times per week because I was so exhausted/ill second trimester we just all really needed that 17 minutes to twenty-two minutes!

My advice for no TV:

1. Make sure your DH is on the same page. I think we would still be a zero-tv household except that DH really did not agree with me on this and would pop in the video (and once he started with that then the requests and whining for it started). I am a little irritated with DH over it but I do understand he was in survival mode.

2. We never did this but I have heard good reports of books on CD to occupy little ones. DS still loves his books . . . but I have noticed a decline since introduction of tv. Books just cannot compete with tv imo.

3. Personally, I would not avoid tv outside of your house at restaurants or the occasional kid party or something. I think there is a danger - - cvanbrunt has posted research on this - - of making something forbidden fruit. I really don't see the gain in absolutely forbidding it in all contexts - - zero harm from a tiny amount of tv. And kids understand the distinction between allowed outside the house versus allowed inside the house- - your toddler probably won't even understand that tv is possible inside your house!

4. Keep special box of high-interest toys in reserve for when you need to shower/cook. Only give your DC the box at that time.

Good luck!

[brittone2]

It was easier with my oldest. I did start allowing him to watch things like Blue Planet, etc. once he was probably around 4, and then once she was 1.5-2 DD saw some of that. But TV is very infrequent here even with 3 kids. They might watch something once every week or two. More in the cold months (when I was pregnant we did a family movie night once a week so I could sack out and relax on a friday night with them). In warmer weather, etc. it is probably once or twice a month. I do allow them to use the computer in small amounts (BBC kids, starfall and Tumblebooks in our library's online system).

Restaurants haven't been a big deal overall. I wouldn't make a big thing of it and yes, they will watch. The only place off the top of my head that annoys me is Red Robin which in my area often has kid stuff on, many screens in the restaurant, and in the bathroom which I find over the top annoying. BUt we still go there sometimes ;)

The birthday party thing was never an issue. My kids have given blank stares to the dentist, grocery store checkout person, etc. when asked if they like certain characters etc. but they are pretty good at just moving the conversation along. As they get older they kinda figure out enough about pop culture to at least know what is being talked about anyway. Socially it has never been a big thing for my kids...they just find something else to talk about. In school I'm sure that's a bigger issue.
When DS1 was young I wasn't wild on TV being on at my parents' etc. but I've since relaxed about that. I still don't like the kids being plopped in front of it intentionally, which my parents do sometimes. I try to roll with it. (eta: at friends' houses I never made a big deal out of the TV being on or anything.)

When they were infants they just hung out in the bouncy seat while I showered, etc. When DD came along and I needed DS1 to have quiet time I used books on CD to keep him occupied without TV. Both kids enjoy books on CD and I find them handy.

We have one TV, and it is in our bedroom. Not ideal, but DH and I do watch a little here and there once everyone's in bed. I don't like having it in our bedroom all that much but the upside is that it is mostly out of sight, out of mind during the day because it isn't in our main living area.

eta: for dinnertime I just include them in the prep from a pretty early age. Love the learning tower for this. Or playdoh. Now at 3.5 and 6.5 while I'm cooking they have chores to do like set the table, fill water glasses, get napkins out, or finish up non dinner related chores (shoe roundup, water plants, etc.)

[cono0507]

I didn't turn on the TV for DS until DD arrived! LOL. So he was pretty much TV free until 2.5yo. Agree with PP - exersaucer while you are showering until baby is too old for it/can get out of it. AFter that, DS played with toys/books on the bathroom floor while I showered. For cooking, etc, when he was highchair aged, I'd bring the highchair right up to where I was working, give him toys/measuring cups/etc and let him play while I cooked. He went through a phase for a few months when one of his favorite things was to push a chair up to the sink and play with soapy water and his toys while I was in the kitchen working.

I didn't get worked up if there was tv on at friends' homes/grandparents/out and about. He spent the bulk of his time away from screens and IMO the occasional show/tv time didn't hurt him. However, if I was paying a babysitter, there would not be TV allowed during that time (I've gotten a lot more lax about it after he was 4 or so).

We are not TV free but for those first 2.5 years or so, TV was never on when DS was awake.

[citymama]

We don't own a TV. Nada. Haven't for about 8 years. For me the only times I miss it are Oscar night (another excuse for attending Oscar night parties!) and during the elections (go to a neighborhood bar for the debates!).

For DD1, she had zero TV/DVDs till about 2.5 or 3. The only time she watched anything was when she visited her cousins and had no interest at that time. Then we took a long trip to Asia and she watched hours of Dora on the plane entertainment system! Since then, she has rationed "watching" time on my laptop - usually a National Geographic DVD from a set we own, or something borrowed from the public library. She can watch up to 30 minutes at a time, and is fine with that.

So we're TV free but not completely DVD free.

When we go to hotels where there is TV, she doesn't know that TV means endless hours of watching, so she doesn't ask. When we visit her cousins, they have on-demand but she still only asks for Max and Ruby! And again, it's up to 30 minutes at a time.

Incidentally, I grew up in a TV free household till I was 10 as well.

[o_mom]

As an infant firstborn, it was pretty easy to have no TV. Just don't turn it on and they tend not to even think of it as an option or expect it. Showers were during naps or I would bring him in the bathroom in a bouncy seat, then the exersaucer for a brief time. Once he was crawling/sitting well, I babyproofed the bathroom and let him play on the floor while I showered or would bring him in the shower with me. Cooking, etc., was the same thing - prep stuff early in the day and let them play near you or even wear them while you cook (works best for a back carrier).

I don't really limit it when we are out places I figure that the little bit they get there isn't really what I'm trying to avoid. I have never been to a birthday party or playdate where that was the entertainment... I know some school-age kids will have a movie theater birthday, but that's about it. I figure it's like sugary stuff - if they spend 90% of their time at home not getting it, that other 10% of the time is OK with me. Through about 12 months at least, though, it didn't even really come up and very rarely until closer to age 2.

We go through phases of using it more or less - when the boys were around 18-24 months, there was usually a period where I would use it for a shower (I could see them from the shower), but that was only 2-3 times a week for 30 min. When we travel, I have no issues using it in the van and when they are sick if it keeps them on the couch and not puking all over the house I'm all for it. :)

A daycare or full-time sitter I would expect to not use it at all for infants and extremely limited for older toddlers or preschoolers (once a month as a special thing, etc.). One-off sitters... I'm not going to leave them without the option, but would expect that it not be their main/only tool, especially if they are un-paid (like relatives).

At this point, my youngest is 3, so I'm not as uptight about it. We will have movie nights or throw the kids in the basement with a DVD so we can have friends over for dinner, etc (which we couldn't do if there was only one TV ;)). They are pretty well established in a pattern of little to no TV, though. Now that DS1 is in school full-time, we are going with no TV after school during the week and it's not really something that comes up.

[hillview]

1) How hard is it to raise a firstborn child w/out TV? What are your "saving graces" for showering, getting a moment alone, etc, that all the moms say DVDs are great for?
Neither kids watehced tv until they were 2. DS1 didn't watch til he was 3.5 (with DS2 he watched at age 2.25). We didn't miss it b/c we didn't know what we were missing. For the shower I'd put a toy down or put them in the pnp with a toy. It worked fine.


2) How neurotic do you get about it? I mean, there are screens EVERYWHERE--restaurants, malls, friends' houses--and often babysitters use TV as the universal pacifier, so it's hard to find one who won't want it there as an option, even my own mother, who thinks Sesame Street was the reason we were all "so smart." (eyeroll) Do you leave, ask the TV to be turned off, ask for a different activity, etc?

Not at all. When we were out and about I ignored it and the boys never got that into it / asked for it at home. That said, our babysitters/my parents etc were told NO NO NO tv. Ever. We didn't have a working TV til DS1 was 2 and even now we have it in a room that isn't part of the regular floor plan so out of sight ...


3) When you go places where there is going to be a video/movie/TV show as part of the entertainment (bday parties, playdates, church daycare, etc), what do you say/do? At what point are you making your child an outcast or looking like a "fringe" parent?


On occasion I wouldn't care at all. Every week somewhere we'd find another solution. Good luck!
/hillary

[SunCB]

Not totally TV free but cable free for several yrs but at some pt DH has said he would like it back so we can have the history channel and espn for him. VHS tapes, DVD player, and the computer (there are a lot of free online shows) is how we go about watching anything. Our boys have access to these also but it is limited to what we have or get them and how long we want them to watch.

Yes, TV is great for showers or a little adult time once youngest is asleep since my boys are a little older as it can keep them from fighting mostly. I typically showered when the youngest was asleep so I did not have to worry much and when they got old enough to sit then a few toys at my feet along with baby was the way I showered.

I am not worried about TVs in other places bc if I was then it would just be way to stressful. The TV is always on at the gym playcare and the kids are there almost every day M-F for at least an hr. I also have 2 portable DVD players when I am driving a long way or have to take all 3 kids shopping as it helps to keep them occupied.

With only 1 LO, I think it would be pretty easy to be cable free (we were not until pregnancy #3). I do like a few shows (online) since that is usually when I get to relax and do my hobbies (crochet or sew) so no TV would work IF I wanted it to but I enjoy it having a show to watch also.

[swissair81]

On occasion, I let my kids watch selected DVDs that I have personally picked out & prescreened. I will admit that I have let them watch more than I would like since I have not been feeling well. Usually though, they get to watch once in a blue moon. We have plenty of toys & there are 3 of them, so they amuse each other. I am looking forward to going back to once in a blue mood mode. I am getting so tired of Wiggles & Barney.

As for other people's houses, most people around here don't use TV or movies as entertainment, without squaring it with all the parents first.

[nov04]

It was absolutely simple to raise dd1 without TV until 2yo. I think we could have gone further if I'd tried harder. But I'd met the goal we'd set and she needed much more input than I could give her on my own (as a sensory-seeking child) without going nutty.

with dd2, it was absolutely impossible for us, although I know other families around us did it relatively easily.

Our ped prefers no TV until 3, he calls it the gold standard. But knows that different families have different needs and situations.

GL

[ShanaMama]

We have no TV in our house at all. My kids' only knowledge of Sesame Street is from the books (oooold- from my MIL; they happen to be great books) & they only know characters from the various licensed things we have around the house. I actually grew up without TV, so I don't miss it.
With my first young baby I would shower when the baby slept or DH was home. Now, at ages 2 & 5, I rarely shower when DH isn't home. But my kids are pretty good at keeping themselves busy with coloring, playing with dolls or lego. My kids also play with the neighbors almost every day, which helps during supper prep or if I need a little downtime.
We have internet, so we can really access anything. My kids watch a DVD probably once every 6 months as a really special treat (aka sheer desperation on my part).
I am not crazy neurotic when we go out. My 5 yo loves shopping at Gymboree cuz she gets to watch the video there! They like to look at the TVs at Target & Costco. I try to avoid them because I have no control over content & I find them to be too scary.
I think you are doing your DC a huge favor. It will take effort but IMO it's worthwhile.

[KpbS]

We aren't TV free but are pretty militant about not letting our under 2 yo watch any tv. It is complicated when public places have tv like our former ped office and oftentimes their selection is NOT what I would ever choose :rolleyes: When they were little I would just bring books to the ped office and read to them while we waited instead or really little I would just turn their stroller away from the tv!

I let my DC watch a few minutes of Sesame Street after they turn two and usually that is all they are interested in until they are closer to 3. It is harder w/ multiple kiddos but it can be done! The only tv on during the daytime when kids are awake here is the few kid programs that I have dvrd. DH and I never watch anything during the day (with the exception of a few NFL games on Sundays ;) during FB season). It can be done!

[DrSally]

We aren't a "no tv" household, but a "controlled tv" one. We just never have the tv on when the kids are awake, unless it's a specific recorded program (no commercials) for DS. He generally watches a show when DD is sleeping. She's 2 yo and doesn't watch any tv (no interest). He usually watches one 30 minute show per day, occassionally 2.

In terms of using tv to get a break, just never get into the habit. Just like the exersaucer, I think it's too easy to let it go on and on and lose track of the time. Pretty soon, they're watching while eating, etc. Luckily, my kids were/are content to sit in the PNP and play while I'm showering.

I detest when there are violent/adult shows on in the background, but can't do anything about it b/c we're at someone else's house. I usually go to another room with the kids, even if it means removing ourselves from the social action. Some people have the TV on *all* the time.

ETA: DD is going to a MDO program this fall and they do watch some tv at the end of the day (after clean up, so the kids don't mess up again, I think). I've been thinking about this b/c DD really doesn't watch *any* tv, and I'd rather she didn't get a taste for it, KWIM? I'm going to talk to the teachers to see how strict they are about letting the kids play vs. making them sit and watch the show. I'd prefer if she can be free to get up and walk around instead of being told to sit down and watch. At a daycare situation, I'd prefer if there were very little tv. Unfortunately, many daycares use videos everyday for a certain period of time, even for babies.

[wellyes]

How hard is it to raise a firstborn child w/out TV? What are your "saving graces" for showering, getting a moment alone, etc, that all the moms say DVDs are great for? No TV is easy with one. Think of it this way, most people in the world don't have TVs. Our grandparents grew up without TVs. There is nothing you need from a TV for babies or toddlers.

Before they're crawling, if you need a shower or just a break, that's what exersaucers and jumperoos and playyards are for. The kid is contained and entertained.

After they're mobile, babyproof a room and gate it off. Put in a bunch of "projects" / distractions that the kid can do: play kitchen, chalkboard, play-doh.



I have no problem with DD watching an occasional video when out visiting a relative or whatever. It's like cake: they know it's a treat, may ask for it again the next day, but just say nope and they'll move on.

I detest when there are violent/adult shows on in the background, but can't do anything about it b/c we're at someone else's house. I usually go to another room with the kids, even if it means removing ourselves from the social action. Some people have the TV on *all* the time.

Oh my goodness I hate that. One set of parents we know watches stuff like Bones and CSI while we're visiting. I mean, c'mon. Toddlers present. Shows that are literally about CORPSES and murder are not a good idea.

[Clarity]

1) How hard is it to raise a firstborn child w/out TV? What are your "saving graces" for showering, getting a moment alone, etc, that all the moms say DVDs are great for?
2) How neurotic do you get about it? I mean, there are screens EVERYWHERE--restaurants, malls, friends' houses--and often babysitters use TV as the universal pacifier, so it's hard to find one who won't want it there as an option, even my own mother, who thinks Sesame Street was the reason we were all "so smart." (eyeroll) Do you leave, ask the TV to be turned off, ask for a different activity, etc?
3) When you go places where there is going to be a video/movie/TV show as part of the entertainment (bday parties, playdates, church daycare, etc), what do you say/do? At what point are you making your child an outcast or looking like a "fringe" parent?

I have a SIL who raised her first w/out TV, but then #2 came along and it was a game-changer, so I know it's not possible for everyone/all situations, but I'm curious if anyone has words of wisdom/encouragment. Thanks!

We're not totally tv free but pretty close so here's my 2cents.

1) You don't need the tv for down time at home. You need a helpful spouse and you need to be resourceful. Get on a schedule where you are up, showered and ready for the day before your dh heads to work. You can nap later when the baby is sleeping. I do think that it really depends on your infant's temperament. DD1 was a pretty pleasant baby and could entertain herself in her crib or swing for a few minutes. Mostly, I took dd1 into the bathroom in her bouncer if I had to, or I placed her bassinet in our bedroom where I could see her if I peeked out from the shower. I did chores, read, or yes, napped when she napped.

2) I'm not neurotic. I was careful to choose a daycare center that did not use the television at any point during the day. And, I will ask my parents/grandparents to think of my children when they have the tv on during our visit. (Gpa has a tendency to want to watch Discovery Health which I deem not appropriate for my kids.) Oh, and I will tell the girls when they've had enough "screen time" when visiting my very techified IL's. Otherwise I let it go.

3) My kids are not exposed to that much tv outside of my home, regardless of how prevalent it is in our environment. Sure, they've seen glimpses of tv at Best Buy or Gymboree but that's not what's important. What's important is what you are doing at home. My personal opinion is that worrying about incidental exposure is just going to drive you crazy.

Congrats again on the coming bundle, you're going to be a wonderful mama!

[ncat]

I've found it easier to severely limit TV with 2 than I did when I only had DD. Currently, DD gets to watch a PBS show or a video once every week or two. We did let her watch more during the World Cup. DS isn't really interested in TV yet.

A former boss of mine was a no TV whatsoever in the house family. Her experience (and my strong desire to not be generally crazy like her), really sold me on moderation. I was really disturbed when I ran into her with her family out to eat at a restaurant with TVs - her DS, DD, and DH were all transfixed by the TV, while she was trying to talk to them. Apparently vacations were an issue because her DH and DS would want to spend the whole day in the hotel watching the TV.

[Katigre]

We have been TV-free our entire marriage - 7 years - and through both kids. We have an old 16" TV connected to a DVD player that the kids occasionally watch videos on (though they're really not into TV).


1) How hard is it to raise a firstborn child w/out TV? What are your "saving graces" for showering, getting a moment alone, etc, that all the moms say DVDs are great for?
Easy in my case - I have noticed that kids not used to entertaining themselves with TV are pretty good at self-entertaining through play. I showered every morning from the birth of both kids without TV - had the baby on the bathroom rug, in the swing or in the shower with me (once they could sit up). As toddlers I'd bring them in the shower or just shut the bathroom door so they were in the room with me. For cooking they'd be with me or else I'd give them toys or snacks to eat. They also read - right now DD is refusing to go to sleep and she just got a book and is laying in bed 'reading' it. DS is also a huge reader and will self-entertain that way. [DS enjoys doing games on the computer - that is his main screen time and what he chooses over TV. He gets 40 minutes a day, 10 minutes for each year old he is]

Occasionally they will watch a DVD - they're not forever forbidden ;) - but it is at the child's request and as something special and fun, not a regular means of keeping them occupied.

Our main DVD's are slideshows their grandparents made them of photos set to music - things like birthdays, Christmas, special days so they like watching 10 minutes of photos of themselves and people they love and dancing to the songs. Another thing they 'watch' on TV are CD's b/c they'll put in a CD and the track numbers show up on the screen and they dance to it. DS asks to get a DVD from the library once in awhile and that's fine for him to get it and then watch it for a few days.



2) How neurotic do you get about it? I mean, there are screens EVERYWHERE--restaurants, malls, friends' houses--and often babysitters use TV as the universal pacifier, so it's hard to find one who won't want it there as an option, even my own mother, who thinks Sesame Street was the reason we were all "so smart." (eyeroll) Do you leave, ask the TV to be turned off, ask for a different activity, etc?
I'll ask for the TV to be turned down/turned off if no one is watching it and we're at someone's house but otherwise don't make an issue of it. In terms of babysitting, it's fine with me if a preschooler watches TV with their grandparents if they're over visiting. But if they're babysitting regularly (several times a week) I would ask her to limit watching to once a week.


3) When you go places where there is going to be a video/movie/TV show as part of the entertainment (bday parties, playdates, church daycare, etc), what do you say/do? At what point are you making your child an outcast or looking like a "fringe" parent?
I haven't found this to be a big issue. Playdates rarely feature TV b/c the kids are playing and we're outside at parks or the kids are so into new toys. Same goes for bday parties and church childcare - it's not normally a feature of those things so on the rare time it happens I'm fine with it. If it was a regular thing I would talk to the person in charge and ask if it could be modified.


I have a SIL who raised her first w/out TV, but then #2 came along and it was a game-changer, so I know it's not possible for everyone/all situations, but I'm curious if anyone has words of wisdom/encouragment. Thanks!
#2 wasn't a game changer for us TV-wise. 1st trimester of pregnancy with DD I did use TV a lot more than normal with DS b/c all I could do was lay on the couch - but past that not really. You can do it :).

Ultimately my main concern is what we're doing in our home - the things outside the home are more peripheral to my DC's experience of life their first few years so screen stuff there doesn't concern me - i'm not a hardcore black/white type of person though.

[pb&j]

We are not TV free, but in all honesty, DS didn't care at all for TV until he was nearly 2, so keeping him away from it was not all that hard. DD is 20 months and shows extremely little interest so far.

If I need a moment to shower, DD comes in the bathroom with me, and I set her up with some tupperware or legos to keep her busy. At this age, I'm not about to leave her unattended, out of earshot anyway, even if she loved TV. Putting DD in the PNP in the bathroom works, too.

I do try to limit TV, but I will admit that when I was very pregnant w/DD and when she was a newborn, DS watched all the TV he wanted and then some. But generally, he doesn't watch every day and when he does, it's 1-2 shows (~20 min). It has not been hard to limit his exposure. We don't do TV during meals, except special occasions (like the Olympics, or Shark Week), and almost everything DS watches is DVR'ed which helps limit his exposure to commercials, and helps us maintain pretty tight control over his viewing.

I haven't found it hard to avoid TV other places. We don't tend to frequent restaurants or stores w/TVs. Playdates w/other kids, they're usually more interested in playing with each other. And day care only uses TV on the rarest of occasions, so I don't worry about occasional exposure. I would not hire a day care or sitter that used the TV with any regularity.

So no, not TV free, but TV-light. It's not that hard. I'm not a fanatic about it. It's just how it is in our house.

[belovedgandp]

My kids have only had recorded programs or DVDs. I agree that first one was easier. With two I'd used TV to get me the afternoon nap I needed some days while pregnant, so DS1 knew what it was more (this was around 3) and thought that DS2 needed to watch it too. So DS2 saw a 30-minute program a week starting around 2 instead.

At 6 and 3 now, they have about 3 hours of screen time a week (TV, computer, Leapster).

My oldest will totally glaze over for a TV in a public place. Younger one not so much. Not sure if it's because ours is never on, but yes it does drive me crazy. DH watches maybe 2 or 3 hours a week after kids are in bed and isn't a sports guy, but he'll also stare at TVs in restaurants so I blame him.