Need advice: Family wedding out of the country

[daisymommy]

UPDATE:
Bought my ticket (with Andrew as a lap baby) yesterday!!! :bighand:

Thanks everyone for being a sounding-board here, it really helped immensely! I even told DH that the moms on "the boards" helped me decide. He knows you gals are a big part of my life :wink2:

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Original post:

I could really use some advice from a neutral party, on what is such a hard emotional decision here.

My younger brother, who is 30, is getting married. He has had a horribly tough life due to some special mental issues, and we all really wondered if he would ever marry at all. He has met a wonderful lady, who understands him and his issues, and fit's him perfectly. I am so thrilled for him. He's been quite lonely, and lights up like sunshine when he's with her. They are getting married in October...In Canada. That's where she's from/lives.

After checking out airline prices + passport costs, we are looking at nearly $1,000 per person to go there x 5 people in our family = $5,000. I about choked. This is not including the cost of the hotel, food, rental car or taxi. We just cannot afford that at all! We're in debt, and have a small savings account.

So here are my choices, none of which are good:

Option A) I go by myself, leave DH home with the kids, and maybe the IL's would come help him out. He has never taken care of all 3 kids for more than a few hours, and it's like an panic attack/melt-down waiting to happen here on his part (on meds. for anxiety).

Not to mention that Andrew is still nursing 5 times a day, mainly before each nap/bedtime, as well as once during the middle of the night (kid you not...sigh). He will not, nor has he ever taken a bottle.

If I went alone, I would also have to be pumping. How do you work that in when you are out with a group traveling around and at events for 3-4 days? Especially when they are your male family? (my Dad and brother). I couldn't say in our ultra-conservative family, "sorry, I've gotta go use my breast-pump! LOL".

Option B) I go with Andrew, and leave the other 2 kids at home. This is certainly more manageable for DH. I would be able to nurse Andrew when needed. But I would have to put his plane ticket on a credit card, only adding to our pile of debt. Then we're talking about schlepping a baby around for several days in and out of pre-wedding and wedding events (he still takes 2 naps a day, plus an early bed time). He is also a TERRIBLE car traveler, screams his head off the entire trip. He would probably be better on a plane since I could hold him most of the time, but who knows, maybe his ears would hurt him, and he would be crying. He is also at that very active stage where he wants to be down crawling around on the floor all the time. It could be a very, very long flight.

Option C) I don't go at all. Now this option breaks my heart, and who knows how sad it would make my brother. He is a guy, so it may be not as big of a deal as I think, or maybe he would hold onto that forever, that I didn't come to his wedding. I haven't talked to him about this yet.

The wedding in Canada is for the "ceremony", not filing any paperwork--can't remember why; their lawyer told them it was the easiest and quickest way to navigate the system--and when they move to the US together, they are going to the courthouse for the legal formality.

I was thinking if I didn't go, I and a few of his friends could come, show our support, and take them out to a nice restaurant to celebrate after wards. Not quite the same, I know. But something.

If you all are wondering, they are having the ceremony in Canada versus here because she has a huge family and group of friends, versus our very small family, so it made more sense to have less people traveling.

Sigh. There just really isn't a best solution here. Please give me your objective advice. What should I do?

[kristenk]

Are you sure that the travel costs would be that high? The passport cost for kids can be as low as $40 for the passport card (good for crossing borders from Canada, Mexico, Caribbean, Bermuda) or $105 for the book. You don't need to do both.

[SnuggleBuggles]

Option B makes the most sense to me. I would look for a deal and try and make that work.

Beth

[daisymommy]

I didn't realize that the passport was cheaper for a child. For an adult, it was about a total of $100 for the card (including processing fee and photo.)

Plane ticket would be $800 (including tax and fees).

So $900 for an adult.

[stillplayswithbarbies]

a baby under two flies for free on your lap. You can even take your carseat and if there is an empty seat on the flight they will let you use it for the baby.

[roobee]

I think option B would work - I might be missing something on the date, but I don't think you need to buy a ticket for your son. My 18 month old is a handful and I wouldn't want to travel with him alone, but I'd REALLY hate to pay for a ticket if I didn't need to.

[sarahsthreads]

I would pick option B. I'd hate to travel with a baby and without DH, and I'd definitely try to find less expensive tickets if I could, but I would have a really hard time missing my brother's wedding.

Sarah :)

[Neatfreak]

What cities would you be flying between? IME, some search engines don't show all of the Canadian airlines ...

[lowrioh]

I would do Option B and fly with the baby as a lap baby. Since it is considered an international flight you may have to pay 10% of the fare for him plus the taxes but I'm not sure about that.
If not I'd go with Option A and hire an experienced sitter to come and help out your husband for the 3-4 days you are away. It would cost an extra couple of hundred dollars but probably cheaper than flying with the baby especially if you consider the price of your mental health :)

[Edensmum]

B you really have to go. Post the cities these ladies may be able to help. Funny enough my 30 year old LB is getting married in October too. We've spent a lot of time debating the very costly options for getting our family there. We will drive the 15 hours. We'll have too.

[mikeys_mom]

If the city in Canada is not too far from the US border, I would look into the cost of flying into the closest US airport and then renting a car to drive across the border. I am in Toronto and it is significantly less expensive to fly through Buffalo for flights to the US. Many people use this travel route.

[almostamom]

Option B makes the most sense. Save the money and keep him on your lap (easier said than done, I know). I would just hate for you to go with option C and regret it later.

Good luck,

Linda

[♥ms.pacman♥]

If the city in Canada is not too far from the US border, I would look into the cost of flying into the closest US airport and then renting a car to drive across the border. I am in Toronto and it is significantly less expensive to fly through Buffalo for flights to the US. Many people use this travel route.

:yeahthat:

when my cousin and i traveled from SF to visit our aunt in Canada, we found it was much cheaper to fly to Sea-Tac and then have her meet us there and drive across the border, than to fly into Vancouver.

[resipsaloquitur]

Clearly I am in the minority but I say stay home. I would write your brother and financee a very long heartfelt letter as to why you can't come (money and kids) and send a lovely, thoughful wedding gift along with a promise to take them out to celebrate when they were in town.

I had a destination wedding and I very much understood that not every one was going to be able to make it. Weddings are special but they are only one day- debt can last years. A horrible stressful trip with kids (or stay at home with kids for DH) can also have long lasting issues. And since she has a big family it's not like they are going to be alone if you don't go. At weddings the bride and groom rarely have more than a minute to spend with each guest.

Yes, it's sad. But in this economy I think it is important to stay responsible and practicle. But again, I know I am in the minority.

[wolverine2]

Anything but option C. My sister-in-law didn't come to our wedding from Australia, and though I wasn't mad, I was really disappointed, and still sad that she missed out on such a special day. To me, it seemed like family just wasn't a priority in her life (and knowing her now, 9 years later, it's true). I'd make the effort since it's your brother- even if your whole family doesn't go, it's important that you be there.

[daisymommy]

Thanks ladies. Let me get the city and airport names and post them here. Maybe I can find a better deal.
Also, I have read sooo many times that it is extremely unsafe to fly with a lap-baby (known as a flying projectile by everyone in the airline industry). What happens if I can't get him a free seat, and there is bad turbulence or some other emergency? I just don't know that I could knowingly endanger my son.

[wendibird22]

I'd probably try to go and bring the baby with me. Pumping sucks. And pumping for 3 or 4 days round the clock REALLY sucks. I've had to do it for business travel and wouldn't want to do it unless I absolutely had no other way. So, if I could bring my LO with me, I would.

[lil_acorn]

I vote for option B with the baby as a lap baby.

[writermama]

The passport cost for kids can be as low as $40 for the passport card (good for crossing borders from Canada, Mexico, Caribbean, Bermuda) or $105 for the book. You don't need to do both.

The passport card is only good for car or boat travel, it isn't accepted for flying.

(I just went through this decision of whether to get passport books or cards for our kids for an upcoming trip.)

[BabyBearsMom]

I vote B. Usually when you buy a seat for a baby you can get a discount. Try calling the air line. Personally, I'm not comfortable having my child fly as a lap baby, but if you are comfortable with that, you should do it.

[rkold]

Thanks ladies. Let me get the city and airport names and post them here. Maybe I can find a better deal.
Also, I have read sooo many times that it is extremely unsafe to fly with a lap-baby (known as a flying projectile by everyone in the airline industry). What happens if I can't get him a free seat, and there is bad turbulence or some other emergency? I just don't know that I could knowingly endanger my son.

Personally... in my experience of flying w/o a baby most flights are pretty sold out now a days so chances of a free seat are pretty slim. However, I think there are still discounted fares for children vs adults and would still make sure when pricing things out that you do that.

You need to get an actual Passport for each member of your family unless you are driving to Canada in which case you can get just the card. (I personally see no reason to get both) So depending on how close to the border the wedding is, you could fly to a US city, drive and get the cheaper Passport cards for everyone attending.

I've also noticed that prices on flights can really vary and believe it or not booking too far in advance doesn't actually always benefit you. Also, the airports you use can make a huge difference. I live about 1 1/2 hours from the NY metro airports and 30-45 mins from a smaller regional airport. It is generally cheaper though more inconvenient for me to use the bigger metro airports.

I think you should do option B. To me, this is not a destination wedding. The bride is from Canada, her much larger family is located there and that is why the wedding is taking place there. ^^; This is family, and while keeping to a budget is important, so is family.

But I would also definitely share the cities involved. Also try playing around with dates. Generally it is cheaper to fly on a Wednesday or Thursday and come back on a Monday or Tuesday. If it is just you and the baby, depending on the airline, a transfer might not be impossible and could save you a lot of money. Some airlines are really considerate and others are not.

[elephantmeg]

I'd vote B but in real life I did c. My only brother had a destination wedding within a couple months of when DD was born. We did not attend but did host a reception for him at our house (our parents paid for it but it was at our house) and then also went to the reception for them in Chicago-where they live. I couldn't see flying to JA with a tiny baby and staying at an all inclusive resort... and we could have afforded it. We had talked about it even before I got pregnant with DD-he had wedding plans and we were talking about TTC and he said to go ahead, lol

[writermama]

Call you brother and talk to him. Find out if he is even emotionally invested in having you specifically at the ceremony or if it isn't really a big deal for him. See if he likes the idea of you celebrating the legal ceremony in the states instead.

If after that conversation, you really come to the decision that you must go ... if it were me, I'd go with option B -- 1 ticket and one lap child (with a passport book - apply well in advance to avoid the $60 expedite fee). I did something similar when I had to visit a relative in a family emergency and it wasn't practical for the whole family to go, or for me to travel without my nursing baby. Yes it was difficult, flying alone was difficult, keeping an active crawler entertained and out of trouble was difficult, but I absolutely had to be there and it was manageable.

Hope it all works out.

[GaPeach_in_Ca]

Also, I have read sooo many times that it is extremely unsafe to fly with a lap-baby (known as a flying projectile by everyone in the airline industry). What happens if I can't get him a free seat, and there is bad turbulence or some other emergency? I just don't know that I could knowingly endanger my son.

Well, you have to do what you are comfotable with.

I don't have the statistics at hand, but isn't there a larger possibility of your child being injured in the car in a carseat than as a lap baby on an airplane? I tried looking, but didn't find much. I did see this:

From http://www.faa.gov/passengers/fly_safe/turbulence/:

Each year, approximately 58 people in the United States are injured by turbulence while not wearing their seat belts.

It just doesn't seem that risky considering how many people fly. That does not even say serious injury.

Anyways, it really depends on how you feel about it. Personally, I would choose and have chosen option B.

Good luck!

[DebbieJ]

I would do B. I did this two years ago when my brother got married in Montana. Granted, DS1 was older and more independent. We traveled with my dad and his wife and rented a condo with them.

[hopeful_mama]

Call you brother and talk to him. Find out if he is even emotionally invested in having you specifically at the ceremony or if it isn't really a big deal for him. See if he likes the idea of you celebrating the legal ceremony in the states instead.

:yeahthat:

That's what I would do too. Although I'd phrase the conversation as though I hadn't decided yet and wasn't sure what I'd do, just talking through the options, and sound him out to get his feelings on it. Then B or C, depending upon his reactions, your feelings, and the financial aspect.

[niccig]

I had a destination wedding too - Hawaii as it was half-way between Australia and the USA. My sisters could attend, DH's couldn't. We paid for the condo for my family members as their airfares were expensive. We weren't having a lavish ceremony, so we used money we saved from that for their accomodations. None of my friends from Australia could come. We knew going in that this would be the situation, but it was the right place for the wedding so my parents could be there. We also had a reception back in LA, and one of DH's sisters/DH made it to that. We were fine with that.

DH's cousin got married in Mexico, his sister wanted to go but could only afford the airfare, FIL/MIL shared a condo and paid for that.

Also post here for the travel details - we might be able to find a cheaper flight - I'm getting pretty good at doing that as we travel so much.

I would talk to your brother and to you family and see what options there are. Does anyone have frequent flyer miles that they can give you. If you can't go, I know it's upsetting but you will have plenty of other moments with your brother. I would then make it to the official ceremony here in USA.

[peanut520]

well the kids would not even need passports if they are under 16.
per http://travel.state.gov/travel/cis_pa_tw/cis/cis_1082.html
When returning to the United States from Canada, it is very important to note that all U.S. citizens are required to present a valid U.S. passport to enter or re-enter the United States via air. For entry into the United States via land and sea borders, U.S. citizens must present either a U.S. passport, passport card, NEXUS card, Enhanced Drivers License or other Western Hemisphere Travel Initiative (WHTI)-compliant document. The only exception to this requirement is for U.S. citizens under the age of 16 (or under 19, if traveling with a school, religious, or other youth group) who need only present a birth certificate (original, photocopy or certified copy), Consular Report of Birth Abroad, or naturalization certificate.

i'm very close to my brother and vote any option other than C. we actually went through the same thing because dh was laid off 2 months before my bro's wedding, and dh makes 80% of the household income. for me not going was not an option.

[AnnieW625]

I would do option B and keep Andrew on your lap. You can also take his infant seat or convertable seat on the plane and then if there is a window seat in a row with two open seats explain to the FA that you would like that seat for your son's carseat. I never bought a seat for DD1 before she was two and it worked out fine.

[smilequeen]

well the kids would not even need passports if they are under 16.
per http://travel.state.gov/travel/cis_pa_tw/cis/cis_1082.html
When returning to the United States from Canada, it is very important to note that all U.S. citizens are required to present a valid U.S. passport to enter or re-enter the United States via air. For entry into the United States via land and sea borders, U.S. citizens must present either a U.S. passport, passport card, NEXUS card, Enhanced Drivers License or other Western Hemisphere Travel Initiative (WHTI)-compliant document. The only exception to this requirement is for U.S. citizens under the age of 16 (or under 19, if traveling with a school, religious, or other youth group) who need only present a birth certificate (original, photocopy or certified copy), Consular Report of Birth Abroad, or naturalization certificate.

i'm very close to my brother and vote any option other than C. we actually went through the same thing because dh was laid off 2 months before my bro's wedding, and dh makes 80% of the household income. for me not going was not an option.

Children do need passports when traveling by air. ALL US citizens need passports when traveling by air. It is only by land or sea that a birth certificate is sufficient for a child. We go to Canada several times a year so both of my boys have passports and they are neccessary as we always fly.

Personally, I would do A or B, depending on the child. At 18 months I did not need to pump when I was away (I took it in case I got engorged but never did), but it is hard to leave a little one that age. I would NOT miss my own brother's wedding for anything in the world if I could prevent it. However, I would definitely keep searching for deals. Sometimes booking airfare too early can cause you to pay too much too. On the lap baby thing, I do think the risk is low, but it would not be my choice. For both the safety and convenience reasons I would take a carseat and buy a seat. I don't think it's the worst thing in the world to do the lap child if money is an issue though...

[peanut520]

Children do need passports when traveling by air. ALL US citizens need passports when traveling by air. It is only by land or sea that a birth certificate is sufficient for a child. We go to Canada several times a year so both of my boys have passports and they are neccessary as we always fly.

okay, that is the information i got from state department today. dd has a passport so i never thought about it when we travel, but was trying to figure out a way to save a little. i dont think it would hurt to call and clarify.

[TwoBees]

I haven't read all of the responses, but do you have to go for 3-4 days? Can you just go for the ceremony and catch a flight that night or the next day, making the round trip in 24 hours? And could you leave the baby with you DH or a relative for that amount of time? Yes, it would be exhausting for you but then you could go and not have to travel with the baby.

[vonfirmath]

Option B. Will grandparents/others be there to help out with the baby? Can you talk to parents and see what support would be there?

It really sounds like you can't miss your brother's wedding, but leaving a baby behind that young does not appeal either!

ETA: (Change baby to wedding in previous sentence)

Also: Just because you are there does not mean you have to go on EVERY event. Perhaps you will sometimes choose to stay back at the airport, have a "lazy" time so the baby gets his nap and such.

[catpagmo]

I would go with option B. If it were me, I wouldn't want to miss being there for my brother. Like many pp said, you can probably get some great tips on saving $ from the wise women and men of the BBB!

[momm]

Ouch.. tough call.
Can you throw them a reception here, for all the people who can't make the wedding? Would be more expensive than skipping, less expensive than all of you going, but definitely meaningful enough for him, to be worth the expense?

[Sweetum]

B

My brother missed my wedding and although I don't and never will give him a hard time for it, as it was not because he doesn't care, and I understand his reasons for doing it, I do feel a bit bad when I look through my wedding photos and miss him :(

I traveled to India with my son as a lap baby. At that time I didn't know of the "projectile" danger. But in all, it was quite convenient, and safe, as it turns out. But then, DH went with us. And since it's a 24hr flight, we put him in a bassinet for a lot of the time, and whenever there was turbulence, they would want us to hold him and put a belt around him that's attached to an adult's belt. On the way back though, it was tough since we did not get a bassinet. But that wouldn't be an issue for you. Be sure to take a sling/carrier (if your DS likes it), and travel as lightly as you can.

HTH.

[Ceepa]

Option B. Fly with the youngest and leave the others with DH.

[kerridean]

I guess I am the ONLY one, but I would go by myself.

Your DH can get help from the in-laws maybe? He is going to need to learn to take care of the kids on his own a little bit. What if you have to have surgery or get sick or something? I know you said he had anxiety issues, but so do other parents and they still manage. Sounds mean I guess?

You baby is nearly one, right? Does he really need a bottle at this point? Can he just be fed solid food and drink from a sippy cup for a few days? At one, my kids were being fed mainly the food the family ate.

I think pumping to maintain supply would be much easier then toting a baby on a plane and all around during the wedding activities. He is old enough that he will not forget how to nurse when you get back.

I guess I will get flamed, but there is no way I would miss my brother's wedding. Nor would I be brave enough to fly by myself with a 1 year old. So my only option would be A. That is just me though.

[daisymommy]

Thank you SO MUCH ladies, you have been so helpful! I'm heavily leaning to option B, and having Andrew fly as a lap baby, but bringing his car seat on board with me just in case.

My Dad and step-mom will be there to help a little bit, so that's a plus.

Even though DS is 1, I think it would be really, really hard to get him to go all day for several days without me and nursing. Until now, I really didn't care about that. And if I skip even 2 nursing sessions, I am engorged. So I think bringing him would be easier on me, baby, and DH. I'm a pretty strong capable mama who totes all 3 kids with me every.single.place. I go , everyday, without any help. DH works a ton, and we don't have any babysitters around. So even though it will be harder than say, going to the grocery store, I think I can manage...(I hope ;)).

I'm just waiting to find out exactly which airport I need to fly into, from future SIL, then I'll get back to you all, and maybe someone can help me find the best rate. I haven't flown since Josh was a baby, nearly 8 years ago, so I am by no means an experienced traveler or rate-finder.

[SoloMelody]

We were planning on attending DH's cousins wedding in Winnipeg in Sept. Flying from Sea-Tac to Winnpeg, was still expensive after finding cheap tix. Talking about $400/person ( 2 adults and a kid). We were going to fly into Fargo and drive across the border was working about $250/person.

This meant we would have to rent a car but that we would be doing anyway once we reached destination. DH has gotten good at finding discount tix. We never made this trip after all the planning coz the wedding was moved to Napa valley CA :yay: lot cheaper for us to get there!

Anyway let us know the cities....I am sure we can help!

[1964pandora]

Clearly I am in the minority but I say stay home. I would write your brother and financee a very long heartfelt letter as to why you can't come (money and kids) and send a lovely, thoughful wedding gift along with a promise to take them out to celebrate when they were in town.

I had a destination wedding and I very much understood that not every one was going to be able to make it. Weddings are special but they are only one day- debt can last years. A horrible stressful trip with kids (or stay at home with kids for DH) can also have long lasting issues. And since she has a big family it's not like they are going to be alone if you don't go. At weddings the bride and groom rarely have more than a minute to spend with each guest.

Yes, it's sad. But in this economy I think it is important to stay responsible and practicle. But again, I know I am in the minority.

I would also do this.

[fauve01]

I guess I am the ONLY one, but I would go by myself.

Your DH can get help from the in-laws maybe? He is going to need to learn to take care of the kids on his own a little bit. What if you have to have surgery or get sick or something? I know you said he had anxiety issues, but so do other parents and they still manage. Sounds mean I guess?

You baby is nearly one, right? Does he really need a bottle at this point? Can he just be fed solid food and drink from a sippy cup for a few days? At one, my kids were being fed mainly the food the family ate.

I think pumping to maintain supply would be much easier then toting a baby on a plane and all around during the wedding activities. He is old enough that he will not forget how to nurse when you get back.

I guess I will get flamed, but there is no way I would miss my brother's wedding. Nor would I be brave enough to fly by myself with a 1 year old. So my only option would be A. That is just me though.

nope, i would also go by myself and take my pump. i'd call all my friends and school people and relatives and ANYONE to find sitters to help DH at home.

Anne

[kerridean]

nope, i would also go by myself and take my pump. i'd call all my friends and school people and relatives and ANYONE to find sitters to help DH at home.

Anne

WOW....someone else like me!! WOO HOO.

[ShanaMama]

Thanks ladies. Let me get the city and airport names and post them here. Maybe I can find a better deal.
Also, I have read sooo many times that it is extremely unsafe to fly with a lap-baby (known as a flying projectile by everyone in the airline industry). What happens if I can't get him a free seat, and there is bad turbulence or some other emergency? I just don't know that I could knowingly endanger my son.

I didn't read all the posts, so this may have been adressed already. I wouldn't get too hung up over this. I've flown 13 hours flights with lap babies. Turbulence so bad that your baby becomes a projectile can't be all that common, or we'd have heard many more horror stories. Think about all the things on an airplane that are not in an overhead bin. Sure, everything is 'secured' before takeoff and landing, but during standard turbulence things just bounce around. IMO it's nothing like driving with an unsecured child at all. As someone once pointed out on the boards, if there is an airplane crash a carseat ain't gonna help one bit. Completely different dynamics than car accidents, and thankfully much less common.

FWIW I recently flew on SwissAir & they actually gave me an additional seatbelt to loop through mine to secure the baby on my lap. They also checked to make sure I was using it. ;) I was impressed- I've never seen that before & I've flown plenty.
To address your original post, tough question but I think you know in your heart that you can't not go.

[ShanaMama]

Thank you SO MUCH ladies, you have been so helpful! I'm heavily leaning to option B, and having Andrew fly as a lap baby, but bringing his car seat on board with me just in case.

My Dad and step-mom will be there to help a little bit, so that's a plus.

Even though DS is 1, I think it would be really, really hard to get him to go all day for several days without me and nursing. Until now, I really didn't care about that. And if I skip even 2 nursing sessions, I am engorged. So I think bringing him would be easier on me, baby, and DH. I'm a pretty strong capable mama who totes all 3 kids with me every.single.place. I go , everyday, without any help. DH works a ton, and we don't have any babysitters around. So even though it will be harder than say, going to the grocery store, I think I can manage...(I hope ;)).

I'm just waiting to find out exactly which airport I need to fly into, from future SIL, then I'll get back to you all, and maybe someone can help me find the best rate. I haven't flown since Josh was a baby, nearly 8 years ago, so I am by no means an experienced traveler or rate-finder.

I just read this & had to say that we sound similar, lol. Except I have 2 kids, not 3. My 2yo is still nursing & at age 1 would have had a very hard time being away from me for so many days. My DH would have an equally difficult time caring for both kids for so long. I am also the full time mom with a DH who is always working. A client of his called *our house* last night *Sat night* & wanted to meet with him at *10 pm*! When DH said he'd be available on Sunday the client responded why are you playing games with me aka not at my beckon call. Sorry for the hijack but just told DH I am a WOTHM & SAHM!
Anyway I think it will be much easier for your DH to deal with the older 2 versus all 3 & you will be just fine with Andrew. Nurse him through takeoff & landing & even more if it's nighttime or nap time. You will probably want to miss some of the events to accomodate him & chill. It might actually be a vacation for you having only him!

[salsah]

if you can find a less expensive way to go (just the you and the baby on your lap, fly domestic and then drive across the border) that would be great. but i'm not sure that i would go if the trip would be a substantial financial burden.

[jamesmom]

I would do Option B too with your DS as a lap baby, and try to get non-peak flights so there are fewer passengers and more room on the flights.

Glad you are leaning towards Option B! :)

[daisymommy]

Bought my ticket (with Andrew as a lap baby) yesterday!!! :bighand:

Thanks everyone for being a sounding-board here, it really helped immensely! I even told DH that the moms on "the boards" helped me decide. He knows you gals are a big part of my life :wink2: