Dear cashier at B&N...*update in post 22* :)

[WolfpackMom]

While I purchase this book on healthy sleep habits DO NOT feel it is neccessary to give unwarranted advice such as:
often it's the parents own fault
maybe your providing too much stimulation
there could be stress in your house affecting the child
again you may not even realize it but it's usually your own fault

Thank you lady. Really. I know all of these things but don't need a stranger telling me it's all.my.fault. When people buy sexual health books do you tell them how to spice it up? If you want to be helpful maybe tell me some real advice instead of telling me how I'm over-stressing my baby.

Geesh.

[elektra]

OMG. I would complain to the manager. The only unsolicited comment I would welcome from a bookstore employee would be, "oh I read that, it was good."
Other than that, I don't want to hear it!

Reminds me of the time I was buying a home pregnancy test and the cashier was asking me if I was excited and would I be happy if it was positive.

[♥ms.pacman♥]

WOW. i can't believe a cashier said those things! i would be:32:..i would have just said in a snarky voice, "oh really? he's just overstimulated?? there's just too much stress in my house?? wow, i had no idea!! well, since you just gave me such great advice, i guess i don't need to buy this book anymore!" :D lol

and as elektra said, i would talk to the manager. i think the bookstore management would want to know if store employees were insulting customers. i certainly would not want to return to a bookstore if i were to be judged on what type of books i bought.

[luckytwenty]

Wow, that's nuts.

What's wrong with people??

[WolfpackMom]

I really was so suprised I didn't know what to do or say. I just stammerred a "me too" when she said she hoped the book helped and went on my way. Normally I buy books used or go to the library so I probably won't be buying there again. I don't think she meant harm per se but talk about not knowing when to keep ones thoughts to herself.

[alexsmommy]

Wow. Catch me on the wrong day with that and that lady would have gotten an earful... as would her manager. Friendly chit-chat, fine. Unsolicited opinions...um...no.

[liamsmom]

I'm really horrified. I would have assumed B&N would have a strict policy about this sort of thing and I definitely would complain to the manager. I work at a public library and we never comment on what people check out. Even if people ask for my opinion, I try to be very vague.

[edurnemk]

OMG, the nerve! What did she think she could gain by making a customer feel bad?

I'm willing to bet serious money that this lady doesn't even have kids. At least IME, single childless people are the ones who offer those kinds of opinions most often... well them and my IL's.

[TwinFoxes]

That is just horrible! And B&M stores wonder why people prefer shopping online!

I agree with PP, there has to be a company policy about this! If not there should be!

[WolfpackMom]

The woman was probably in her later 50s. I am going to do some investigating tomorrow and see if there is an email that goes direct to that store. Im sooo bad at verbal confrontation Im afraid if I went to the store I would embarrass myself or look like a crazy sleep deprived mother (oh wait maybe that is me?)...DH said I should have asked her where I could find her book on childrearing in the store.

Oh and the irony, FIL babysat tonight while DH and I went to dinner (yay) and he got DS out and asleep in like 5 minutes without fussing and he hasnt woken up since! Clearly DH and I need to figure out what we are doing here because whatever it is aint working!

[MamaMolly]

You should have asked her if the store carried any self help books about people who need to mind their own business.

What a beyotch.

And FWIW your little stinker is just going to keep doing that. Wait about 6 years and you'll get the report card from school about how he's such an angel. Never fails! ;)

[citymama]

Ugh, sorry that happened.

But unless she was a real jerk in other ways (ie not just insensitive and nosy) I would let it go. A woman in her late 50s in this economy might find it hard to find another job if they fired her as a cashier. Or maybe just let her know directly - she sounds more meddling than malicious.

[Andi98989]

Oh and the irony, FIL babysat tonight while DH and I went to dinner (yay) and he got DS out and asleep in like 5 minutes without fussing and he hasnt woken up since! Clearly DH and I need to figure out what we are doing here because whatever it is aint working!

This reminds me of when DS stayed overnight at my MIL's house and STTN, got up for his early-morning bottle and went back down until 8am. Of course he continued his every 2-3 hour wakings at our house. Ugh.

We just went through a big phase of DS fighting us at bedtime; we finally figured out we needed to move his bedtime way up and within a few days it was much easier.

[LadyPeter]

Ugh, sorry that happened.

But unless she was a real jerk in other ways (ie not just insensitive and nosy) I would let it go. A woman in her late 50s in this economy might find it hard to find another job if they fired her as a cashier. Or maybe just let her know directly - she sounds more meddling than malicious.

I agree. I would never report someone for just being overly friendly, which I'm sure is what she intended.

[egoldber]

If I were a retail manager I would REALLY want to know if an employee of mine were saying things that were off-putting to customers. And as an employee, I would want to know if things I did on the job were affecting my ability to be a good employee. You can give feedback without naming the specific employee.

"Dear B&N Store Manager,

Recently I shopped at your store and purchased a book about helping my child sleep better at night. Upon seeing the book, the employee who helped me with my transaction proceeded to give me unsolicited, highly personal and judgmental advice. I was very offended by her comments although I was too embarrassed to say anything at the time.

Your employees should know NOT to give unsolicited advice and comments to people who are purchasing books, especially books on self help and personal growth topics.

I hope that you find this feedback helpful and perhaps a general training for employees on this topic is in order.

Signed or not, your choice."

[MamaMolly]

If I were a retail manager I would REALLY want to know if an employee of mine were saying things that were off-putting to customers. And as an employee, I would want to know if things I did on the job were affecting my ability to be a good employee. You can give feedback without naming the specific employee.

"Dear B&N Store Manager,

Recently I shopped at your store and purchased a book about helping my child sleep better at night. Upon seeing the book, the employee who helped me with my transaction proceeded to give me unsolicited, highly personal and judgmental advice. I was very offended by her comments although I was too embarrassed to say anything at the time.

Your employees should know NOT to give unsolicited advice and comments to people who are purchasing books, especially books on self help and personal growth topics.

I hope that you find this feedback helpful and perhaps a general training for employees on this topic is in order.

Signed or not, your choice."

That sounds very fair IMO. It treats it in a global way without calling out the specific employee.

[WolfpackMom]

Thanks egoldber! I do think the woman was TRYING to be helpful, but her way of doing so just embarrassed me and made me feel like poo. I wouldnt want to get her in trouble because Im sure she didnt mean harm, but it did upset me. Your letter is great wording.

[MamaSnoo]

If I were a retail manager I would REALLY want to know if an employee of mine were saying things that were off-putting to customers. And as an employee, I would want to know if things I did on the job were affecting my ability to be a good employee. You can give feedback without naming the specific employee.

"Dear B&N Store Manager,

Recently I shopped at your store and purchased a book about helping my child sleep better at night. Upon seeing the book, the employee who helped me with my transaction proceeded to give me unsolicited, highly personal and judgmental advice. I was very offended by her comments although I was too embarrassed to say anything at the time.

Your employees should know NOT to give unsolicited advice and comments to people who are purchasing books, especially books on self help and personal growth topics.

I hope that you find this feedback helpful and perhaps a general training for employees on this topic is in order.

Signed or not, your choice."

:yeahthat: I like this approach a lot.

I should have tried it when the bank teller (not a mortgage person...the person at the walk-up counter) made an unsolicited comment on the size/affordability of my home based on my mortage balance!

You hate to get someone fired, but it would be good if management knew about things like this so that they could train all the staff to communicate more appropriately with customers!

[WolfpackMom]

So...just an update. I sent an email to the store, using almost exactly what was suggested (thanks egoldber). I got an autoresponse saying I would have a reply in 24-58hours. That was on Friday morning, no answer yet. :( Totally bummed they couldn't even at least write back and acknowledge my email!

[crl]

I'm really sorry. I had a similarly bad cs experience at Borders and complained and got the impression no one cared in the slightest--just auto responses

Catherine

[WolfpackMom]

I'm really sorry. I had a similarly bad cs experience at Borders and complained and got the impression no one cared in the slightest--just auto responses

Catherine

Ahh its alright, in the grand scheme of things not a big deal I suppose. I just know that having worked in customer service in the past I worked hard to keep customers happy but I guess when a company is that big then something like this isnt too big of a deal. C'est la vie! :)

[WolfpackMom]

Well what do you know, I just got a very nice email back from customer service! That makes me :)

Dear --------,

Thank you for taking the time to inform us of your recent visit to our
------, NC store. We are very sorry to hear that your experience was
an unpleasant one. The level of service that you described is not
reflective of our customer service standards and we take your concerns
seriously.

Therefore, we have informed the Store Manager of this matter, so that
the issues you raised will be properly addressed with all concerned. We
strive to maintain a high standard of excellence in everything we do,
and your feedback will certainly enable us to review our service
commitment at our ------, NC store.

We value your patronage and would welcome another opportunity to provide
you with the pleasant shopping experience you expect and deserve.

Sincerely,
---------

[boogiemomz]

Nice! Glad they finally got their act together. :applause:

[crl]

Great!

Catherine