Need a (Sleep) Nanny 911!

[wallawala]

So... we're getting to the end of our rope here...

DD is 13months old and for the last 2months hasn't slept through the night more than once. She goes to bed easily (I rock and give her bottle). She usually goes to bed around 9pm, despite many attempts to move it earlier. Problem is she coughs, wakes up and is frantic. She'll go right right back to bed if given a bottle... if not will cry until she throws up... and they cry again. She may wake up 2-5x a night!!! It's killing us, and we really are in survival mode as both of us WOHM.

I've tried the "Ferber method" once, and it worked well. It's not exactly CIO, but humane. Yes the first night sucked, but she really responded .

Problem is every time I try it again... we run into another cold/cough/virus/GI that derails our progress. DD is in daycare 5 days a week, and although doesn't run a fever much is a constant night "cougher". I think it's allergies... our Pedi says kids at 13m don't get allergies and if they did there aren't meds to give them anyway.

I've gotten to the point of giving her benedryl on nights she seems especially congested, sometimes it helps... but "mommy guilt" is killing me.

I think there's got to be an easier way!!

My recent attempt was to just give her a 2oz bottle when she wakes up or use water... and it went over like a lead balloon.

Any suggestions?!?!

[MomToOne]

She'll go right right back to bed if given a bottle...
My recent attempt was to just give her a 2oz bottle when she wakes up or use water... and it went over like a lead balloon.



Just for clarification, why can't you give her a bottle? I'm just asking because that's what we do, give her a smaller bottle when she wakes up and it has been working fine.

[resipsaloquitur]

My DD is 11 months and when I mentioned to her ped that she isn't sleeping he told me in no uncertain terms that she does not need to be nursing or a bottle in the middle of the night. We discontinued that months ago but she still keeps waking up.

I tried it all with DS 6 years ago and the only thing that worked for him (each kid is so different in my opinion) was the Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child book. I own it but right now I am too sleep deprived to find it. Last night at 3 am I looked to see if our library had it in stock. They did. When we got their not only had someone beat me to it just this morning but there is already another hold on it. So now I'm looking for it again.

You can google it. It is basically a version of cry it out. I hate that but at a certain point if you aren't functioning well you need to do what you can to survive.

Good luck.

[wallawala]

Just for clarification, why can't you give her a bottle? I'm just asking because that's what we do, give her a smaller bottle when she wakes up and it has been working fine.

I can give her a bottle, and that's what we do in general... but I was getting worried that maybe I was starting to promote a problem... in the vein of if she gets a bottle everytime she wakes up it'll just happen more. It used to be not a big deal if once per night. But recently it's been several times a night.

Other than trying to have a routine at bedtime, we've been flexible about things like extra bottles, hugs and even co-sleeping here and there whatever works. I'm not opposed to co-sleeping, but I don't sleep well when we do (I wake up at every turn) and DH will move to the couch. So it doesn't work as a regular option for us.

Now that's she's older, I can't tell if I'm actually starting to contribute to the sleep issues as I'm so sleep deprived... need some more experianced voices of reason!!

Pre-baby I sooo thought I'd have her on a ridgid schedule....:hysterical:

She doesn't have lovey (We've got a box of rejects I keep trying... hoping to find the right one or the right stage, but she never ever accepted a pacifier, so I'm not overly optimistic).


Maybe I just need to be patient, but feel like things are worsening, and I've now been sick enough with back to back viruses that I had to stay home from work two days (first sick days I've taken since she was born). We have no family close so no relief pitchers to help!

[wallawala]

I tried it all with DS 6 years ago and the only thing that worked for him (each kid is so different in my opinion) was the Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child book. I own it but right now I am too sleep deprived to find it.

You can google it. It is basically a version of cry it out. I hate that but at a certain point if you aren't functioning well you need to do what you can to survive.

Good luck.


I just googled the one you suggested and the cover looks sooo familiar I'm sure it's somewhere under a pile in the house. I think I coworker loaned it to me. Will track it down and re-read for sure! Thanks!

[Dr C]

A night cough is a very common sign of asthma (especially if it happens in the wee hours of the morning, rather than just when you first lie her down and when she wakes up in the AM). Does your daughter have eczema? Does she cough more when exercising? Does she seem to hang on to coughs more than other kids? Has she ever wheezed? Does anybody else in your family have asthma, eczema, or allergies? A yes to any of these would make asthma much more likely but even if they are all no, I would talk to your ped. If they aren't willing to entertain the diagnosis of asthma in a child who coughs all night long you need to speak to either a pulmonologist or another ped.
I say this not to scare you, but to help. Asthma is very treatable and your DD should be able to get through the night without waking up coughing, even when she is sick.

[wallawala]

Hmmm.. I hadn't thought of asthma. It's a good point I'll bring this up with Ped for sure! The coughing seems to undermine any success we get with a sleep routine. And it does seem to be middle of the night, wakes her up from sleep cough (not going to bed or first thing in am). I appreciate the suggestion and don't feel at all like you're trying to scare me. Sounds like a very reasonable possibility to check in to!! When I think about it... probably less than 5 nights in her entire life she hasn't coughed at night. Sounds awful when I type that out... when she was younger we thought it was reflux as she'd sometimes spit up an entire feeding... but the that stopped on it's own and zantac didn't seem to help much.

Often she will eventually get some mucus up and then stops coughing, so I had been focusing more on "allergy" than "reactive airway". Even on her worse cough nights she looks great during the day without coughing. Every time ped listens to her lungs she says they sound clear. But I can track down a stethoscope and listen at night to see if I can hear any wheeze.


We've got some allergies, but I've always thought of them probably less than the general population (maybe not.. I'm a minimizer...).

[Beth24]

I just googled the one you suggested and the cover looks sooo familiar I'm sure it's somewhere under a pile in the house. I think I coworker loaned it to me. Will track it down and re-read for sure! Thanks!

I just want to say how much I love that book. Got all of my kids sleeping through the night by 5 or 6 months by following Dr. Weissbluth's methods. And by night I mean from 7 to 7 with regular naps. His methods really make sense and he isn't against using soothing techniques to get your child to sleep as long as you are consistent.

[WatchingThemGrow]

I agree with the PPers re: no night feedings (even getting rid of the bottle), check for asthma (my DS does pulmicort every night before bed), maybe reflux (you mentioned throwing up).

If sleep is the big issue you're posting about, are you against having a routine to help her settle into sleeping better? If you can't find the Weisbluth book you were loaned, I'd go buy one. I kept borrowing, then bought my own on CL for $4 still referring to it with the 3rd child.

[Dr C]

Agree with PP on Weissbluth, it is a great book. IMO Ferber is great too. Reading both will give you a good understanding of sleep problems and you can design your own sleep learning plan from there.
But I keep coming back to the cough--it sounds like that is at the root of the problem. It sounds like you are able to put her down at night without a whole lot of fuss... so I betcha if you can address the cough much of the problem will go away.
You can totally have asthma without wheeze (some call this "cough-variant asthma"). What you call this will vary with the part of the country and your doc, as some do not believe you can diagnose asthma before age 3... so some call it "reactive airway disease;" some just call it "night cough"... whatever you call it, I would consider putting her on an inhaled corticosteroid (like Pulmicort that PP mentioned) every day (even twice per day) and see if it gets better. You could also try a bronchodilator (albuterol or Xopenex) but that will likely wear off in 4-6 hours, hence, she may wake up coughing again. You're right, reflux can give similar symptoms (and is something I wouldn't completely cross off your list yet--you can have "silent reflux" without a lot of spitting) but the Zantac should have helped.
Your ped really should listen to you on this one. I would set up an appointment specifically to address the "chronic nighttime cough," and not try to address it during a well child visit when she is trying to focus on lots of other things and may not have the time to address it fully. If your ped doesn't think this is a big deal, get a second opinion (from another ped or a pulmonologist). It is not normal for a child to cough every night of her life--in fact I would argue that most healthy children very rarely cough at night. I almost never hear my kids (who have had their share of colds but do not have asthma) coughing at night once they've settled down and go to sleep. When they are sick they usually do the typical postnasal drip night cough which you hear mostly when you first lie them down and first thing in the AM.
Good luck with this one!

[truly scrumptious]

A night cough is a very common sign of asthma (especially if it happens in the wee hours of the morning, rather than just when you first lie her down and when she wakes up in the AM).

This was my initial thought too. DS has asthma, and would be woken up with a night cough just like you describe. The Pulmicort works wonders with helping him sleep through the night.


I agree with the PPers re: no night feedings (even getting rid of the bottle), check for asthma (my DS does pulmicort every night before bed), maybe reflux (you mentioned throwing up).

We use Pulmicort, too, and DS had reflux and was on Zantac for that until a couple of months ago. We also find when he gets sick (and is woken up by congestion/coughing) using a nebulizer (with saline, or albuterol - by prescription from the pulmonologist) helps him breathe easier.

I would recommend consulting a pulmonologist for the coughing. They would probably be able to decide if it is asthma, and how best to handle it.

Once you are able to make her confortable at night, then you'll be able to tackle the other sleep-related issues (night-feeding, etc.) The Healthy Sleep Habits book is great!

GL!

[wallawala]

Thank you all sooo much for the replies.

I've not wanted to post as I was worried we were the cause of the sleep issues, and was feeling guiltly, but was sooo sleep deprived was no longer able to think straight about anything. It helps to see your replies to think through it.

I'll make f/u apt with our ped to review the cough. We have been addressing at well baby visits, which isn't really fair to our Ped. I think she hasn't been focused on our concerns as DD always looks great during the day (ie at check ups!). I think separating that issue out will help us reinforce good behaviors and know the difference of when she needs our help at night and when she needs to learn to self sooth. I come from a family of "less medication is better", so tend to minimize medical concerns. I'm certainly not opposed to meds though... really more habit than anything, and I don't want to miss an opportunity to really help DD.

Still working on our routine. There's sort of one... but probably too flexible for an infant to rely on and likely some of our problem too. *sigh* :bag

Off to buy book that you all have liked... I'm increasingly certain it's at the bottom of a pile in the house already... but what's $20 (or less) if I get even a few hours extra of sleep?!?!?

[resipsaloquitur]

Perhaps try the libarary for the book? Although there seems to suddenly be a run on it in our town. I went to a second library yesterday and again, it had just been checked out.

[alumina]

I agree with other posters about checkiing into asthma, but in the meantime--
1) maybe try a humidifer? if it is allergies it can help with congestion (couldn't hurt)
2) My ped said it was ok to give our 14 month old Zyrtec & bendryl (childrens) and my pharmacist husband agreed. Our daughter has allergies (I know--too young, but if DH & i have allergies & are stuffy and she's stuffy--do the math)
We dose her 2.5 ml children's Zyrtec at night (it's non-drowsy) and the nights we don't give it to her, she wakes up crying cuz she can't breathe. Bendryl wears off too quickly.

Just something to try until you can check out to see if baby has asthma!

[wallawala]

Thanks! I'll try Zyrtec. I've been doing benedryl on nights she seems more congested, but it doesn't always get us through the night. Things have gotten MUCH better recently. When I posted, things were beyond bad. Like scary to drive the next day bad.... Then, like a cloud lifting, things have gotten sooo much better. Still coughing but not as frantic/puking/squalling, so she must have been feeling terrible (no new teeth though, no fevers).

She's had a few good nights, but last two have been bad again. This time she's got congested for sure kinda cough. I gave up my 'acute' visit with our ped for a 'pre-op' as we're now having to go back for round two of ear tubes. So will reschedule the 'acute visit' again... :) Will try to post follow up with the results!

Thanks again for everyone's input. Feels like little long distance hugs to a desparate momma!