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View Full Version : what are your tentative plans (w/ regards to childcare when you go into labor)?post16



brgnmom
09-01-2010, 06:05 PM
I've been trying to create back-up plans for childcare b/c my birthing center at the hospital will probably restrict kids from being there due to the flu season (according to what one of the OBs told me). Because we recently moved to the area from across the country, I don't have a babysitter for my DS and I haven't met any families in the area. I do have a cousin w/ her own kids about 20 minutes away, but she hasn't made an effort to follow-up on emails I've sent her and I haven't actually seen her in person. So I'm kind of at a loss about what to do for childcare, except my mom is planning on booking a last-minute flight when I start having contractions, etc. She just lives an hour-flight away. My DH will fortunately take 2 weeks of paternity leave, but he'll be at the hospital with me. I wish my DS would be allowed at the hospital as well.

Just curious what you've all done or decided to do about childcare for your other child(ren), with regards to when you'll be in labor & delivery. Thank you in advance!

luckytwenty
09-01-2010, 06:10 PM
Sounds like your mom would be a safe bet! My side of the family lives far away and they all booked tix on Southwest (you can change flights for no fee if the baby arrives early) for his bris, 8 days after the birth.

My ILs live about an hour's drive. They'll come in and watch the kids. My MIL will actually stay in our house for about 10 days because I'm having a c-section and won't be able to to drive until I'm no longer on pain meds.

♥ms.pacman♥
09-01-2010, 06:24 PM
great thread, i'll be watching this one. for me its way too early at this point, but the other day i was already starting to worry about this. we have no family in the area, and we do have a sitter but she works for a lot of other families too, so i don't know if/how it would work to ask a sitter to be "on call" for a certain time period.

last time my parents booked their flight to be here 1 week before my due date, but DS showed up 2 weeks early, and by the time i knew i was really going into labor it was too late/too difficult for them to change their plans (plus my mom has major anxiety re: flying). my ILs were able to drive over soon after i went to the hospital, but since it was a 5 hour drive for them, we only told them to come once i was admitted to the hospital and we were SURE i was in labor. by the time they got here, i had already given birth.

anyway, i'll look into the Southwest thing for my parents' flights for this next time, thanks for that info.

swissair81
09-01-2010, 07:07 PM
My parents live around the corner. They were only a phone call away when I needed them to come stay with my crew. (Ok sorry, I have to give a huge shout out to my baby sister, who gave every second of her spare time to me- 10 days before she took her certification boards for RD. It's a good thing she passed. I would have felt eternally guilty if she hadn't.)

Roni
09-01-2010, 07:39 PM
My parents live about an hour and a half away, so my poor mother has come to stay with us until I have the baby. I was having false labor a couple weeks ago and was panicked about what to do if I went into labor in the middle of the night. I didn't want my parents driving in the middle of the night. Plus, with my kids starting school last week, I didn't want to mess up their first few days of school. So, Mom is hanging out.

nfowife
09-02-2010, 12:11 AM
My EDD is Dec. 19th right now. DD and DS were both past due (5 and 4 days each) so I'm planning to go to my due date as of now. My in-laws will be here on the 18th. If I go into labor before that, we will take the kids to a friends' house and my in-laws will hop on a plane asap. DS was a very quick delivery so if they had to stay at said friend's house for a few hours that would be fine. We have a few different friends here who could pass the kids around for a few days if need be. But if all goes smoothly, even early they should hopefully not need care for more than a few hours and then if all is well with me and the baby DH can go get them and take them home. I try to stay at the hospital as short a time as possible so hopefully I can be home around 24 hours after delivery.

citymama
09-02-2010, 12:25 AM
My mom flew halfway across the world to be my childcare provider before, during and after labor. I could not have done it without her. All the other scenarios would have been tougher on DD1, even though we have good friends and family in the area. Mom staying at our home meant that when we left for the hospital at 5 am, DD could keep sleeping, then wake up in her own bed, in her home, with grandma there to make her breakfast and play with her. Grandma was supposed to take her to school but they ended up having a fun day together instead! Dh spent the first night with me in the hosp and my mom spent the second with me so DH could spend it with DD.

Did you move to CA - am I remembering this correctly? Any chance you're in the Bay Area?

SnuggleBuggles
09-02-2010, 08:24 AM
I'm extremely lucky to have family around. My friends were not as lucky and I was on 3 people's list as the back- up plan (1st resort plan for one). The one had an elaborate schedule of who got the kids depending on what time of day she went in to labor based on who would be home. Luckily her mom came in from out of town a week before her due date and just stayed.I was called upon by a friend who had no family and we were their closest friends.

With both boys I left as soon as possible and went home after the births. I wouldn't have had to arrange for much childcare as a result. If you are at all open to that idea (leaving early), that can work. Usually the dads I know just leave mom and new baby at the hospital for those few days and go home to be with the older kids.

Beth

schrocat
09-02-2010, 08:51 AM
My sister flew in to stay with us for 3 months to help with my postpartum confinement period at home and to stay with my oldest son during delivery. My mom will be flying in soon to stay with me for 3 months to look after me postpartum and to stay with the kids while I'm delivering this baby.

MoJo
09-02-2010, 09:29 AM
Well, my primary plan was for my mom to make the three hour drive. She is the closest family member. I knew I needed a back up plan in case we couldn't wait three hours, so I asked no fewer than four people to be my back-up, just to take DD until my mom could arrive. (1 friend, 1 co-worker, 1 co-worker's college-age daughter, and 1 neighbor who asked what we were going to do with DD#1 when I went into labor).

As it turned out, my friend was out of state on vacation when I went into labor, and NONE of the others were available that evening. Fortunately, the hospital had lifted their restrictions on children, but the natural birth center requires one caregiver for the child, and one for the laboring mom.

My mom called while we were driving to the hospital and said she got lost on the way and wasn't going to make it that night.

As it turned out, my water broke on arrival at the hospital, and my husband, daughter, and midwife (all of whom were at the hospital when my water broke) almost didn't make it in time to see the arrival of DD#2. DH handed DD#1 to a nurse in the room for the few minutes while I pushed DD#2 out (there were several nurses in the room, but only one was actually doing anything). . . and after a while, both DH & DD went home to spend the night.

DH ended up being the only caregiver for DD#1. If DD#1 hadn't been allowed, I'd have ended up not being allowed to give birth at the natural birth center and would have been on my own "on the other side" of the hospital in the regular L&D. The birth wouldn't have been much different since we got there so close to her arrival, but the bonding experience afterwards would have been.

HIU8
09-02-2010, 11:13 AM
My dad lives 20 minutes away and spends a ton of time with us. I happened to go into labor with DD when he was here helping DH with a project. He had an overnight bag already packed in the car. So, he just stayed with DS for 2 days.

Tanya
09-02-2010, 01:32 PM
My mom lives about an hour away, but about 5 minutes from the hospital I'll deliver at.

When DD2 was born, my then 3 year old just went to Grandma's for a couple nights. She missed a day of preschool I think. My parents went and got our dogs later too, so that dh wouldn't have to drive back and forth to take care of them.

This time, my oldest is 7 and in 2nd grade and my youngest is 4 and in preschool. So, it really depends on *when* it happens. If I have the twins on a weekend, the kids will go to my parents which is close to the hospital. If it happens during the week, then my mom will come to our house and stay so that they don't have to miss school. My mom is hoping for the weekend because she doesn't want to be so far from the hospital.
Personally, I'm glad she has to watch my kids and can't just sit up at the hospital. When I had my first, the darn nurses let her into the room while I was laboring. I was in back labor and on my hands and knees with my gown hanging down and exposing all of me when she walked into the room. If I hadn't been busy, I would have screamed...well, okay, I was screaming anyway, but not about that.

There are two weeks between now and my due date where my parents will be on vacation. One of them, my sister will also be on vacation with them, but the other she'll be around and will be my backup. However, I don't want to have the babies that early, so they'll just have to stay inside anyway. *If* for some strange reason I'd have the babies that early, then dh would have to take the kids and I'd be on my own. I could depend on a neighbor for a short time until dh could get them, but that's it. Same with friends. I'm just funny about my kids being left with others and I worry about carseats, etc. too.
Anyway, I'm lucky my parents aren't too far away.

goldenpig
09-02-2010, 06:34 PM
We had my MIL fly up from SoCal. Initially we were going to have her wait until I went into labor, then when I reached my due date we changed our minds and had her come up anyways even though I wasn't in labor yet. She flew up on Southwest. She was here a couple of days before I gave birth, then right after DH and I went out to dinner (our last date night for a while!) I went into labor (around 8 pm--right after my last bite of dessert!) went home, tucked DD in bed, went to the hospital, and had him pretty quickly (3 am). So if she had been my only childcare option I'm not sure she would have been able to make it on such short notice because I don't think they have flights late at night. DH drove home and picked up DD and Grandma so they could come visit us in the hospital the next morning, then drove them back and she stayed with DD the night after we had DS. Then we left the hospital the next day.

My backup plans were my two sisters in the Bay Area, both of whom have their own children. But one of them got sick right around then so I was worried she'd get DD sick and then pass it on to the baby, and the other one lived an hour away so it would have been a little harder to coordinate. I also had a few neighbors with kids that were my backup-backups.

In your case since you just moved and don't know anyone there yet, can you have Grandma come up early at all? I would also call your cousin and try to see if she might be willing to be a backup caregiver until Grandma can come. It might be too late for this, but you could also try meeting some moms through your local mom' club (or other BBB moms?) and they might be willing to pitch in. Finally I would look into temp nanny agencies (like Rent-a-Parent) where you can arrange for a nanny on short notice, and they've all been pre-screened. It's expensive, but worth it if you have no other options.

BTW, when we had DS my hospital had just lifted the flu ban on minors at the hospital, but they still said children could not be in the L&D room, only the postpartum room because they said it's too scary for the kids and disruptive to the staff. So depending on your hospital's policies, unless your DH stays outside with your child, you still might not be able to bring them even with no flu restrictions on minors. I would hate for you to have to have the baby all alone. GL and hope you find a workable solution!

goldenpig
09-02-2010, 06:42 PM
Did you move to CA - am I remembering this correctly? Any chance you're in the Bay Area?

I think she's in LA area...otherwise you & I could volunteer!

MacMacMoo
09-03-2010, 05:30 AM
DS2 came two weeks before his due date. Even then we haven't made plans on what to do with DS1 was 1.5 at the time. Our family was on the other side of the continent, and we were relatively new in the area and didn't really have anyone to ask.

DH held DS1 the whole time. Granted I arrived completely dilated when I arrived at the hospital and ended up delivering in triage. As soon as I delivered they moved me into a labor room for recovery. DS1 ran around the room until DH was able to get a colleague to come pick up DS1.

They have rules. But they understand that emergency happens.

brgnmom
09-03-2010, 11:21 AM
Hi everyone,

Thank you so much for your responses. I definitely need to start creating some more concrete plans with my DH. So far my mom will be coming out here to help right when I start showing major labor signs. She can't stay longer than a week because she works full-time in the bay area. My MIL called to say that she'd like to help afterwards which is really nice. Our relationship has had its ups and downs, but I definitely appreciate that she has offered to help.


I think she's in LA area...otherwise you & I could volunteer!

aw thank you goldenp. ;) you're right -- I am in the LA area, but I'm originally from the bay area (peninsula) and my parents, sister, and in-laws all live around there. my DH and I are hoping to move back to the bay area in June, and we're still waiting & crossing our fingers about his permanent job relocation opportunity.... it'll very likely be in the east bay.


Thank you again!! :heartbeat:

goldenpig
09-03-2010, 11:30 PM
aw thank you goldenp. ;) you're right -- I am in the LA area, but I'm originally from the bay area (peninsula) and my parents, sister, and in-laws all live around there. my DH and I are hoping to move back to the bay area in June, and we're still waiting & crossing our fingers about his permanent job relocation opportunity.... it'll very likely be in the east bay.


Thank you again!! :heartbeat:

Hey brgnmom, if you do end up coming out to the Bay Area, why don't you PM me...would love to meet up! I think our DH's are in the same field, from what I remember about your previous posts. When does he find out about his new job? Good luck to him!

ETA: And good luck to you with the upcoming delivery!

brgnmom
09-04-2010, 11:00 AM
Hey brgnmom, if you do end up coming out to the Bay Area, why don't you PM me...would love to meet up! I think our DH's are in the same field, from what I remember about your previous posts. When does he find out about his new job? Good luck to him!

ETA: And good luck to you with the upcoming delivery!

Hi goldenp,

Sure! I'm almost certain we will move back to the Bay Area after my DH's fellowship program ends in about nine months. My DH will find out about his new job very soon -- the director called him yesterday and will be following up with a specific location in the next couple of weeks, hopefully. :)