PDA

View Full Version : insomnia



♥ms.pacman♥
09-09-2010, 09:46 AM
any tips to help?? i only got 4 hrs sleep last nite bc i woke up at 3am hearing my son cry out over the monitor. i went to go check on him, he was already back asleep, but then by the time i went back to bed i couldn't go back to sleep to save my life. :banghead: insomnia is the most horrible feeling. now it's 8am, and my son is wide awake for the day. lack of sleep makes my "morning" sickness worse than it already is, so i'm looking forward to a fun day. :(

anyway, with my 1st pregnancy i was lucky and didn't have much insomnia (even in 3rd trimester) bc i was just so darn tired, and no one was there to wake me up in the middle of the night. or if i did have trouble, i just took a nap when needed the next morning. nowadays i have my ds, so totally different situation. while he is usually a great sleeper, every now and then he will cry for a few minutes in the middle of the night. before, never a big deal, i would just check on him and go back to bed, but i guess ow that i'm pg, these little wakings seem to royally screw me over. once i get up at night, there's no going back. plus, there's no taking naps the next morning to "catch up"...my son only takes 2 naps per day, first one is 30 minutes and 2nd is about 1 hr, so not enough time for me to get some rest.

i tried taking tylenol PM after an hour of not being able to sleep, but it didn't do squat except for making me more tired. i wanted to take phenergan (still have some leftover from last pg) bc i know that knocks me out, but it says not to take while bf'ing. so any tips on dealing with this? i really don't want to take meds, but i don't think i can function & take care of my son on 4hrs sleep a night. i have no probs going to sleep at nite, i just can't stay asleep.

bostonsmama
09-09-2010, 09:54 AM
do you have a friend or family member you could call in a favor from to get a little extra sleep when you have a rough night? I remember going over to many a friends' home to help them out, esp one that got pg 6 mos post partum...maybe even someone who can listen in on the baby monitor while you both take a nap?

Hugs--it's exhausting to be pg and a new mom at the same time. One of my GFs pretty much felt like a zombie until her 2nd turned 3 mos.

luckytwenty
09-09-2010, 10:07 AM
I can commiserate, but I don't have advice. I haven't slept later than 4:30 a.m. since I was about 25 weeks. I fall asleep every night around 9:00 (passed out on the couch after putting my kids to bed), wake up at midnight enough to stumble back in bed, and then sometime between 2:30-4:30 I am as alert and wide awake as I've ever been. Of course by 4 pm the next day I am a MESS. But I will say I've started to naturally adapt to this weird schedule and it's less awful than it was when it first started happening.

I go on Facebook, play Words With Friends on my iPhone (PM me if you have the app and want to play, too! I now have 9 games going at once and all of my moves are at night) and recently began writing a novel. It totally sucks, but I guess I won't be completely shocked when the baby arrives and needs to nurse at 2:30 and 4:30 etc. every night.

Hope you get some zzzs! Are you in the first trimester or second now? This only hit me at the end of the second--hopefully it will go away for you, soon.

♥ms.pacman♥
09-09-2010, 10:28 AM
thx for the replies. we have no family in the area to help, so that is out. however i do have a sitter that comes 2 afternoons a week (and thankfully she is coming over today) which helps so i can get some rest, etc during the day.

and for the past couple weeks DH has been able to attend to ds when he cries etc, which helps. however last nite my dh worked late and fell asleep in the other room next to ds's room. dh is practically comatose when asleep, so he didn't hear ds cry and i had to go to ds this time. dh says that for tonight he will sleep in another room with monitor on so i can get some sleep. hopefully that will work. still though i feel bad for DH having to deal with all that at night, and then have to work the next day.

anyway, i'm still in the first trimester (9 weeks). i remember the hard part abt first trimester is having to pee all the time (esp at night). and yeah, i can't go to bed any later bc at 9/10pm or so i feel so sick/tired i just fall asleep trying to do anything (read, watch TV).

daisymommy
09-09-2010, 04:32 PM
I'm so sorry :( One thing that jumped out at me was that your son is only 9 months old, and one nap is only 30 minutes, the next only 1 hour?! yikes! Most babies that age are taking 2-3 hour naps, sometimes 3x a day. I would work at getting him to take longer naps so you can get some sleep during that time. He needs more sleep at this age than that too. I hope I don't sound rude, I just feel so bad for you that you're dealing with a baby who isn't sleeping enough, and thus you are worn out, I'm sure. It just seems like a piece of the puzzle that can be remedied.

My two favorite books for sleep issues are:
The No Cry Sleep Solution--Elizabeth Pantley
Healthy Sleep Habits, Healthy Child--Marc Weissbluth

And no, I don't at all believe in crying it out, so I'm not suggesting that either.

Good Luck!

♥ms.pacman♥
09-09-2010, 04:44 PM
^thanx for the book recs. i will look into those. i read online that avg sleep per day for his age is 13-14 hrs. my DS sleeps a solid 11 hrs at night (9pm-8am), and naps ~2 hrs total during the day , so i just assumed it was within normal range. he used to take 2-3hr naps no problem, but as he got older and more active his naps just got shorter and shorter. normally i can deal with him not napping that often during the day, but now that i have to deal with morning sickness/tiredness and not sleeping at night it's so much harder! the most frustrating thing of all though is that my 8month old baby sleeps great at night, but *i* don't, so i feel like such a loser! :(

twowhat?
09-09-2010, 05:13 PM
^thanx for the book recs. i will look into those. i read online that avg sleep per day for his age is 13-14 hrs. my DS sleeps a solid 11 hrs at night (9pm-8am), and naps ~2 hrs total during the day , so i just assumed it was within normal range. he used to take 2-3hr naps no problem, but as he got older and more active his naps just got shorter and shorter. normally i can deal with him not napping that often during the day, but now that i have to deal with morning sickness/tiredness and not sleeping at night it's so much harder! the most frustrating thing of all though is that my 8month old baby sleeps great at night, but *i* don't, so i feel like such a loser! :(

Sounds totally normal, according to our Ferber book which actually lists a slightly lower range...I'll have to look it up but I think it's on the order of 11.5-13 hours. Our kids did the same - they'd sleep long at night and take only short naps during the day. We NEVER got the long 2-hour naps until they started daycare. But in return for napping 2 hours at daycare, they sleep fewer hours at night.

It's totally acceptable to adjust your baby's sleep to suit your needs. If you like that he sleeps long at night, leave it alone! If you want hiim to nap longer during the day, then you will have to cut into his nighttime sleep. It's like a no-win situation:) Hope you get over this 1st trimester hump soon!

WolfpackMom
09-09-2010, 05:17 PM
My DS does the same for daytime naps (and is the same age as your son as you know) and he still does not STTN so I think your daytime nap schedule sounds normal from both my experience and what I have read. As PP said, its no win, either he will have less sleep at night or less during the day. I wouldn't mess with his sleep schedule if he is sleeping through the night though, oh what I would give for that.... :P
Hope you get some rest soon!

♥ms.pacman♥
09-09-2010, 05:29 PM
It's totally acceptable to adjust your baby's sleep to suit your needs. If you like that he sleeps long at night, leave it alone! If you want hiim to nap longer during the day, then you will have to cut into his nighttime sleep. It's like a no-win situation:) Hope you get over this 1st trimester hump soon!

thanx. and b4 i got pg, i used to think about somehow getting him to nap longer during the day and somehow sleep less at night (going to bed later), especially since i never went to bed till midnight anyway. but these days, i feel like crashing right around 9pm, so i *need* him to be asleep by then! hehe, indeed, a no-win situation. i'm always so jealous of moms i know with babies the same age who take 3 hour flights/road trips and mention how it was so easy bc baby was "asleep the entire time". uh, that would *never* be my DS (unless he was drugged or something, lol)! on the flip side, he does sleep well at night usually, so i can't complain i guess.

anyway, it wouldn't hurt though for me to finally break down and get one of those baby sleep books, as i never bothered to read one :bag, since DS was always such a good sleeper. even during the day, he used to sleep 3hrs in his nap nanny. though he outgrew the nap nanny since these days he practically does somersaults in his sleep so he needs to always sleep in his crib now. he has been recently taking short 1/2 hr naps where he wakes up very grumpy and still seems tired so maybe a sleep book would help with that.

Lupe
09-10-2010, 01:16 PM
I had insomnia on my first trimester, and luckily it has gone away in the second (and probably will come back on the third I heard)

Not much to do, but my husband is actually a sleep researcher and he gave me a couple of tips that helped me quite a bit. you probably have heard them already but here they go:
-Drink a glass of warm milk before going to bed
-start unwinding about and hour before the time you plan to go to bed, that means no TV or any type of monitors, maybe a warm shower, a little reading
(of course with your DS this may not be easy)
-If you wake up do some activity until you get sleepy again, try to avoid bright lights or it will make you more awake (ideally No TV, computer,etc). So again, some reading, knitting, listening to soothing music, anything distracting. If you just lay in bed your mind will start racing. I found reading to be the best to make me sleepy, fashion magazines did the trick, any book that I find captivating will actually make me more awake.
- do some form of exercise every day.

The best tip though: If you wake up do not start obsessing about not falling asleep and avoid looking at the clock. Just get out of bed and do something distracting. Kudos for dh on helping with the baby!

My insomnia went away as soon as I hit 13 weeks, so hang in there
hope it helps!

♥ms.pacman♥
09-10-2010, 02:17 PM
^thanx for the tips! yeah i learned not to go on the computer once i wake up and can't sleep, that definitely tends to keep me up!

and as for exercise, i do love going for walks with my son but unfortunately weather in my area has been crappy for this (extremely hot, then rainy). hopefully though in the next few weeks it will get better.

anyway, last night was a lot better, i fell alseep around 10pm without much problems, i woke up several times at night, but managed to fall back asleep every time. and my son didn't wake up for the day til 9:15!! (he did wake up around 630 to nurse but i was able to nurse him in bed since DH brought him over). however, i did wake up with a bad headache (always seems to happen after rainy weather). boo! indeed, i can't wait till 1st trimester is over.!

daisymommy
09-10-2010, 04:05 PM
This is just me, but I would prefer to let him sleep as long as you need him to at night, so that you get enough sleep, then wake him up in the morning, so that he is tired enough to take a couple good naps for you in the afternoon.

For me, even if I got a solid 8-9 hrs. of sleep at night, I was still tired in the middle of the day and needed a nap myself desperately. I needed sleep to break up the day, and couldn't go from morning to night without it (well, not without feeling miserable anyway).

Uno-Mom
09-11-2010, 02:29 PM
Turn the monitor way down and put it accross the room. :) That way only the loudest shrieks will reach you. That's what we're doing now. I have struggled with severe, severe insomnia for over 12 years.

Can your partner help? There's been a couple times when my daughter hit a night-waking phase (teethign or whatever) that coincided with me fighting the start of an insomnia cycle. I temporarily slept on the couch and my dh slept with the monitor. That way I wasn't disturbed by those brief wake-shrieks. KWIM?

For me during pregancy, it improved hugely when my midwife researched sleep aids and approved me to take my Ambien while pregnant. It's category B risk and is approved for use during pregnancy - if you really need it. For me, if I get started on an insomnia cycle, it can go on for ages and have health consequences, so we felt that any slight risk from the med was better than the other.

But for me, knowing I have the med to take IF I need it usually makes me not need it! So I used it rarely.

I also use relaxation and sensory techniques. I use some dialectical behavior therapy strategies as well. Good luck - this problem is HORRIBLE!!

♥ms.pacman♥
09-12-2010, 09:29 PM
thanx for the responses.

dh has been helping a lot and so far i've had good nights' sleep (knocking on wood). as soon as ds cries (usually around 4am) dh turns off monitor and goes to check on ds. then he usually stays in the guest room or whatever till ds cries again for milk (630 usuall) and then he brings him to the room so i can nurse lying down. and yeah, i do think just staying in bed helps. also helps with the nausea too..my morning sickness is worst at night and in the early morning, and many times just getting up and walking across the room makes me sick!

and i agree having a med option might help..a lot of it is the worry that i won't be able to sleep and therefore will be in bad shape to take care of my DS the next day. if i still have issues later i'll probably look into asking my doc abt it.

Dr C
09-12-2010, 09:44 PM
Turn the monitor way down and put it accross the room. :) That way only the loudest shrieks will reach you.
:yeahthat:


We do this. In fact, we put the monitor transmitter OUTSIDE DD's door (it actually sits on the sink in a buddy bath between the kids' bedrooms so we can hear either of them if they really need us). I used to leave the door open between DD's room and the monitor but don't even do that anymore. She usually sleeps through the night and I think that I'm probably doing more harm than good regarding her sleep habits if I check in on her with every little peep she makes. I know if she really needs me she will scream loud enough to register on the monitor, but I don't need/want to be woken up to listen to her singing to herself at 2 AM.

Smillow
09-12-2010, 09:52 PM
One thing that jumped out at me was that your son is only 9 months old, and one nap is only 30 minutes, the next only 1 hour?! yikes! Most babies that age are taking 2-3 hour naps, sometimes 3x a day. I would work at getting him to take longer naps so you can get some sleep during that time. He needs more sleep at this age than that too.

My DS was like this. He didn't take a nap of more than an hour until after he dropped down to 1 nap at 11 months - and even then it took a couple of months before the nap got longer than an hour. Some babies just won't sleep (and I was ALL ABOUT protecting the nap)!

Melbel
09-12-2010, 10:04 PM
I had terrible insomnia during each of my pregnancies. For me, it helped to keep the thermostat very cold (about 69 degrees). During my pregnancy with DD1, DS was only 1 and a horrible sleeper. I ultimately started taking ambien after I ran a red light while driving to work one morning due to sleep deprivation. Since I was working FT, naps were not an option. I am sensitive to meds, so I was able to take a very low dosage on the worst nights. My OB was very comfortable prescribing ambien. It is great that your DH is helping. I hope you feel better soon.

Uno-Mom
09-13-2010, 01:05 AM
..a lot of it is the worry that i won't be able to sleep

Oh yeah, been there! Ihope it helps to know that there are others out here who know how it feels...

We finally got a home internet connection in January 2009 (right when I went OFF birth control and also OFF my Ambien - at the time I mistakenly assumed that no sleeping pills were approved for pregnancy) and it helped so much to go on FB to find awake friends. It helped that I live on the Westcoast and many friends live in the East, but still - it was so good to have company and not feel like I was the only person awake in the world!

Tell your husband KUDOS from another insomnia-sufferer. I couldn't imagine motherhood w/out my patient husband helping me through my sleep issues.

Quick advice that I got from my sleep therapist: (you may have heard this already) if you can, avoid lying awake in your bed for ages and ages. Get up and make yourself comfy on a couch or something. It helps avoid the negative associations with bed & for me it relieved the pressure to SLEEP. I often woke up on the couch, half sitting. Which also helped my pregancy heartburn! :)